Residential Guide to Reviving Your Soul
by SadieMichelle
Summary: I didn't mean to anger them, truly. All I did was take their weapons until they faced each other and decided to settle their feud. Mistake #1. Gods are very possessive of their weapons.
1. Intergalactic Road Trip

**I watched the movie for the first time last night. Felt like I should before seeing the Avengers. And wouldn't you know it...a damn plot bunny wiggled its way into my head. Which technically should leave me brain dead, but miraculously helped begin this tomfoolery. Hopefully it's not too boring or severely OOC. I also hope you enjoy my OC. She's definitely far more different than any other character I've ever written and I don't blame you if you think she's odd. I'm the author and I think she's odd. But in a fantastic way. Also, not the best of writers so feel free to be critical. Enjoy.**

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**Chapter 1 - Intergalactic Road Trip**

It's a difficult task being Queen, you know. Especially of the oldest realm in existence, not that the Asgardians will ever admit to this. Although...it's not really their fault. They aren't even aware we are alive. Or that we are a realm. No one is aware, really.

But let me get back to my point.

Being the Queen of the realm of which there really is no name for, is quite a daunting task. I have to worry about the nine other realms and whether the light elves are getting along with the dark elves or the dwarfs are suddenly in a battle with the frost giants or keeping the dead from possessing a living body through one of the many schisms that exists, thus opening a bridge from one realm to another.

Since my goal is to keep the peace without anyone's awareness, easing the tensions is rather difficult. Like tip toeing through a land mine that spans an entire universe.

I remember my very first act as Queen; deafening the animosity between the light elves of Alfheim and the dark elves of Svartalfheim.

My entire realm was weary of what I would do. Let's just say that my imagination was a bit...uncanny. As was my entire way of accomplishing tasks. My will was also a bit fierce. Meaning that when justice was severed, it was difficult for me to keep my lips shut against it.

How I came to be Queen...well, that is not even something I'm aware of.

Back to the problem.

Hazbur, king of the dark elves, was butting heads over a peace treaty with Pretoria, queen of the light elves. Personally, I feel as if the elves are truly one in the same. The unification of their realms is really inevitable. Like South Carolina and North Carolina or South Dakota and North Dakota. Now that is just wasted space.

Anywho, I journeyed to both of these realms and observed from a careful distance, the opposite families. It was unsurprising to discover they were both considering war.

Which frustrated me a bit, I won't lie. Especially since the two elves had never met each other personally, instead using little errand elves (that sounds odd, doesn't it?), to speak to each other.

And I suppose that's where my brilliant plan came in. The one that were I in any other position but Queen, would surely have me sealed inside the Gelida Spelunca by my fellow race. Which is just a fancy name for a cave made entirely of ice crystals with no openings or passages to escape. One had to be transported there from an outside source.

So what did my great plan consist of?

Well...I kidnapped the two elves. Not especially difficult to do with their own distractions and having the universe at my command.

And after I kidnapped them, I locked them in the Gelida Spelunca together. Just to sort out their differences.

Let me explain that the Gelida Spelunca is our realm's form of punishment in a sense. If we're being naughty or greedy or particularly selfish or just plain mad, a council will determine whether time needs to be spent there. A sort of solitary confinement until one has thought over their actions.

I discussed my plans beforehand with the council...a bit loosely, I will admit...and they were all for the plan. By the time they learned Hazbur and Pretoria were the unfortunate victims, they saw red. No, I am telling you quite literally...they saw red.

Suddenly, the entire population of my realm had their eyes focused on me. Some speculative. Some amused. Some critical. And some whose eyes were closed, having been more interested in sleep than the fact that their Queen had kidnapped two feuding elves.

I was never blessed with an overbearing amount of pride in my actions. Instead, they stemmed from reason or emotion. And confining Hazbur and Pretoria honestly made so much sense to me that I was surprised no other Queen before me had ever attempted to do the same with other feuding leaders.

The council has figurative eyes within the cave, constantly watching the progression. Nearly every hour of each day, I sat in and hoped desperately the two squabbling elves would see reason. They fought constantly with each other, verbally and physically. Sometimes, hearing them speak made me want to teleport myself into the cave and smash their skulls into each others. Which would end the conflict, but not in a sensible way.

I also had to ignore the uncertain whispers around me or the constructive gazes aimed my way. This council was unaccustomed to me or my ways as I had been a no one prior to being appointed Queen. It was like watching a science experiment.

After a month of putting up with each other, the elves seemed to have a moment of clarity. Or maybe arousal.

All I know is the next time the council and I checked in on the couple, they were in a very...provocative position. One that let out a few appreciative mumbles from the council members.

From that moment on, the two elves promised each other an eternal peace between their realms...provided they ever get out again.

Which signaled the end of their containment. Within that very same day, the two were back in their own realms.

A part of me was a bit hesitant about their mindsets. The Gelida Spelunca wasn't unknown to having driven some of the patients insane. Or simply faking their revelations in hopes of getting out.

But Hazbur and Pretoria's time spent together had been entirely pure and very beneficial. Very gradually, the tensions remaining between the two realms, began to die out.

Of course that's not to say I make a habit of kidnapping rulers from certain realms. My instinct simply informed me that this was the way to go. They needed to sort out their differences face to face.

Times would come where the answer was not as simple.

Our realm's purpose, as it had been since its creation, was to keep the peace. In a manner that was both honorable and clever.

But most importantly, we were to remain invisible to the eyes of the other nine realms. If they were even slightly aware that for millenniums, our race was responsible for most of their resolutions or that our goal was to distribute peace at all costs, we'd be a very easy target for those creatures who were not exactly in the most sensible of minds. And never mind that our power came directly from the universe around us, something unheard of in the other nine realms. This sort of power would drive the most vicious of creatures into a jealous frenzy, bringing unheard of destruction to our realm and the people there.

So...informing the other realms of our existence = bad. Being secretive spies who established peace = good.

Feuds and tensions aside, being Queen is also difficult because my realm is under the impression I want a man at my side. This is not to say that our sexes are unequal. Actually, women are seen as far more determined to last through the harshest of times. Probably the reason we've always had Queens ruling the realm.

Some men, however, were eager to be seen on the arm of a Queen. It was a very honorable position and every Queen before me had always married within the first years of their ascent.

I, unfortunately, could not carry on this tradition. Men from my realm, quite honestly, bored me. They either talked of politics or strategies, or were simply a bit...conceited. Which is a word I like to use very much. Conceited.

So, besides settling disputes in various realms, I also had to dodge tricky marriage proposals. Men really were adamant about my position. Actually, a bit more than I was at times.

Which led to a decision made in my realm which had never been made before. And of course, who was the crusader of this achievement? Yours truly.

Really, it began when I slipped.

My palace, something I was still awed at after three years of residence, was settled over the edge of our realm. Far below, the universe twinkled merrily. It was a well known fact that the palace of the Queen was always settled near the universe. It was our source of power. Our connection to ourselves and every being in existence.

That day, I'd been pondering over Asgard's king Odin and his sons. Later in the day, Odin would determine a king for his realm and once again, I'd be left with the task of deterring whomever it was, that engaging in battle was ultimately a really, really bad idea.

I knew them only by name. Thor and Loki. I also was well aware that they were not real brothers. The Queen before me had mentioned this, warning that one day, this might end up being the trigger of war between the two Gods.

I'd never associated with either of the brothers and Asgard wasn't exactly my favorite place to travel to. The ego's in the realm tended to be a bit more inflated than I was used to as was the sense of entitlement. Most of the beings there believed they were deserving of being worshiped for the Gods that they were. Some perhaps still a bit disillusioned with their time spent at Midgard and the Vikings who treated them to unheard of luxury.

Still, their peace with the Frozen Giants was valid. And that was something I had to give Odin credit for. He never struck me as the type of king who could play nicely with others.

So preoccupied with these thoughts, I missed the slippery end of the floor altogether. With a graceless fall consisting of arms attempting to fly in mid-air, I bashed my head into a nearby railing and blacked out.

During this time of comatose inactivity, I had much time to muse over my thoughts. I was in my own state of mind, in my own dream-like slumber that I suddenly wished not to be disturbed from. If there was a heaven, my stay was the closest I'd ever be to one.

Of course it just had to be during my coma that Loki ran wild with envious power, Odin banned Thor to Midgard, and a whole lot of crazy shit went down.

My subjects were not to make any action unless I commanded them. Since their oh so clumsy Queen was in a coma, they were powerless to ease the ferocity igniting between the Asgardians and the Frozen Giants.

When I finally did awake, I learned the bridge between Midgard and Asgard, was broken. Thor had severed it, and when I learned of the reason why, my admiration for the man ignited. Such selflessness could not be overlooked. In a professional way, of course.

The council suggested that whatever intentions I had of showing my gratitude, not to follow them. Yes, his actions were honorable. But if our existence was the prize of such gratitude, it was not worth it.

I had to bite down on my tongue after this argument. And yet I could not simply brush off their advice. Preserving our existence was _key_.

So, one night, I spoke to the universe and the universe listened. This is something I can't really get into detail about because so much of it is still incomprehensible to me. Why our realm was blessed with the sympathies of the universe. Why the Queen was the sole recipient of the universe's power. Why the universe even chose to speak in the first place. All mysteries which held few answers.

But it did listen to my wish as it had done before.

This plan consisted of me doing two things. Things that no Queen had ever done before.

Number one.

I temporarily resigned my authority as Queen and gave the honors to a very, very close friend of mine. So close that I made a point of sheltering her from prying eyes just so she could live a comfortable life.

As children, Clatia and I had been inseparable. And for many years to come, I was undoubtedly sure she would be our realm's next Queen. Her logic was impeccable as was her incredible beauty.

When the position went to me, she had been supportive beyond my wildest dreams. And unlike the competition brewing between the God of Thunder and the God of Mischief, our friendship stretched limits far past that of siblings.

Of course this resignation was controversial. I think with great reluctance, my realm began to finally not only visualize me as Queen, but enjoy my methods of establishing peace. It seemed as if I was more attuned to the needs of others, something that not all Queens before me had been. They had the universe at their command. The beings in it weren't always a primary concern.

I had many citizens protest my leaving, some even accusing me of abandonment. I really knew little at that point, of how attached citizens were to me. In ways I don't think I ever was to Queens before me. There was general sadness at my leaving, prominent even in the halls of the council.

But I dutifully re-informed that this was not the end. Clatia would handle everything and if anything truly abhorrent was to happen, she would call for me.

The universe explained that its powers would not be provided to her. They were property of the Queen's. But it did promise extra protection, something I was eternally thankful for.

Number two.

If my leaving wasn't controversial, the place I was going to sure was. And I made the mistake of calling the location Earth as opposed to Midgard. This action made it seem like I already held a soft spot in my heart for it.

In the billions of years that we've been keeping peace, not a single Queen has ever laid their feet upon Earth soil. Yes, there have been some who've met humans on the astral plane in their subconscious, only revealing themselves in dreams, but even this was a few and far in between rarity.

It was a bit of an unspoken agreement that Earth was difficult to maintain the peace for. And the beings were a bit...weak-willed. Why I would want to travel there, no one could determine.

But as agreed between the universe and myself, this was my destination. And after Clatia had settled in as my temporary replacement, I left before too many complaints could be heard.

My task in Midgard was quite simple. I would begin leaving clues for an agency known as S.H.I.E.L.D. to pick up on. These clues could never be linked back to me. I provided them through meteorological phenomenons I was sure one of their scientists would find odd.

Luckily, the work paid off by the fifth month.

Jane, the one I'd been told was Thor's love interest, had successfully built the proper device to rebuild the bridge from Asgard to Midgard once more.

This was my gift to Thor. And the basis of my discussion with the universe.

What I did not come to expect was how much I would enjoy Earth.

The place teemed with life - intelligent and not so much - and I couldn't help but soak it all in. The cities, perhaps, were my favorite. Sure, we had them. But our feet were our vehicles and discussion remained in hushed tones, never deviating from polite or respectful.

What I heard on the streets of Los Angeles really made for amusing evenings.

I stayed on Earth for so long after S.H.I.E.L.D. had rebuilt the bridge, that I had no real knowledge of the events unfolding around me. And how my good deed would lead to an incredible shift of my very own fate. Of the girl who stayed in the shadows. Who could never speak out for fear of being discovered. The Queen who was still so very confused as to why she had ascended to this sort of power.

Like I said, I was really unaware. Clatia was taking care of the realm with precise accuracy and I really had nothing to worry over. My fascination extended two months past the rebuilding of the bridge, and still I stayed.

When I witnessed the battle begin between former brothers Loki and Thor on a September afternoon, I really should not have been so shocked. Really, really shouldn't have. And this, my friend, is where everything changed.

TLOTLOTLOTLO

I was staring longingly at a leather Gucci vest when the first blast sounded from a mile away. Embarrassingly enough, I still hadn't displaced my gaze. I wasn't sure if my want for the vest was just that intense or my horror at the price was too mesmerizing.

The second blast rumbled the concrete beneath my feet and forced me to turn around.

Humans were sprinting in panic through the streets, screaming at the unknown danger behind them.

I, the clever and intelligent being that I am, stood in place, observing the danger with a calm decisiveness. I knew if I really wanted to, I could showcase my power and protect myself. But to do so in public...well, that would open up a shit ton of worms.

Yes, the word 'shit' found its way into my vocabulary while being an illegal alien - in every senes of the word, hah, hah, hah. My realm's residents would be horrified of this.

Gradually, the streets thinned of any nearby bodies. Cars littered the street way, all abandoned.

And I still watched on, hearing the vibrating booms grow closer and closer.

That's when I watched Thor's body come sailing out of a hundred story window and crash land on the intersection of Platisca and Main.

Engrossed and feeling as if I should have a bowl of popcorn in one hand, I stayed immobile.

Thor's presence was to be expected, but his method of travel certainly wasn't. Was it a custom to journey to Earth through a glass window?

I had my answer soon enough.

Jumping from the same window was Thor's "brother", Loki.

Now, they had my complete, undivided attention.

As they began to fight like the enraged men that they were, my mind raced at the possible solutions. Letting them go on would possibly cause this city to go to hell. Or worse, Loki could win and unleash his fury upon the world.

Intervening, however, risked the exposure of my entire realm. And any witnesses in the residential area would surely document me.

My mind went back and forth with these thoughts like a steroid ping pong match, paying little attention to how close the two brothers were getting.

Only when I heard Thor's voice scream at me to run, and yes, he believed me to be dim-witted, thus the reason he screamed rather than asked politely - or perhaps I'd just been living around my people for too long. But I didn't blame him. If I saw someone standing in place as two other wordly beings came closer and closer to involving them in the bloodshed, I'd have called them out on the same action.

His command only made me cross my arms, pondering the situation once more.

I am a talented liar. Excusing my abilities should be quite simple. Besides, if the media begins assembling in the area...yes, that would not be good.

For a split second, I took the time to glance up at both men. Currently, Loki had the upper hand, attempting to dislodge Thor's hammer. Which for some reason made me chuckle. A man is nothing without his...hammer.

Only when Thor kicked his brother off, unfortunately flinging him into my direction, did I finally take action.

Swiftly, I ducked out of the way and heard the unmistakeable sound of a God being smashed through the Gucci store.

Ah, blind justice!

After the commotion, I withdrew my arms from my head and risked a few steps forward, glass crunching like chicken bones beneath my feet. This put me directly in the line of fire between Loki's slow form stumbling to his feet, and Thor's approaching footsteps which boomed against the concrete like dynamite.

"Get out, foolish girl," Thor demanded, eyes hardened over in determination.

Frowning, I turned to the opposite brother. He too was on his feet, glaring at me with hate. Which then receded into confusion. Then into disbelief. Then into anger.

"These are the idiotic beings you wish to protect, dear _brother_," Loki chided, bringing his hands up. "She cannot even process a simple command. How is this productive?"

Although sour about my intelligence being called into question, I shrugged off the insult. I'd been far more patient in far more trying times as Queen. Now was the time to start acting like one.

"Leave," Thor yelled once more, every vocal chord resonating a clear warning.

Sighing, I pinched the bridge of my nose and inhaled carefully.

A part of me wondered if I should not just kidnap them as well. Perhaps a bit of alone time without their weapons would be the resolution to end their bitter feud.

But my instinct denied this. Something told me that the end result would not be favorable. Or conclude with them in each others arms.

So, I spoke. And the words were very well worded since this was the first time I had ever acted without being in the privacy of my own realm. I don't think even then, I recognized how important my actions were.

"Stop fighting."

I guess I must have flinched at my very own words. Loki's laughter soon fled into the atmosphere.

"I mean it," I threatened, then flinched again.

Shit on a stick. Where the hell did my voice go?

Thor shifted uncomfortably, but Loki only ventured a step forward, lips spread into an illuminating smirk.

"How the last words of a mortal truly amuses me," he smugly proclaimed.

One of my eyes twitched and before either being could understand my actions, I flung out both of my hands. In seconds, Thor's hammer had flew across the space, into my right hand and Loki's staff into my left.

Their surprise nearly made me burst into a fit of laughter. Nearly.

"I warned you," was my response, taking a long look at each brother.

I couldn't properly determine which brother was more shocked. But I had to get those silly expressions off their faces.

"Now," I began, bringing the weapons down beside me, "you two will stop snapping at each other's necks. You two will stop using cities as your battleground. How it is that two Gods cannot even settle a dispute amongst themselves and still be deserving of their title, is beyond me. But this feud ends _today_."

The bite at the end of my voice wasn't necessary and I hardly implemented it in past cases. But I was in the presence of two very headstrong beings whose stubbornness knew no bounds. A bit of bite could go a long way.

Neither man answered.

"Two Gods who cannot process a simple command?" I repeated, throwing the words back at Loki. "How utterly disappointing. Here I thought I was in the presence of greatness, not mute children."

This garnered a reaction.

Thor immediately called for his hammer, perhaps not intending to hurt me, but certainly to appear more menacing. The weapon struggled for a brief second in my hand before throwing off Thor's command.

Loki did much of the same for his staff, one that held a shit load of dark magic inside. His call, however, didn't cause a single rumble from the weapon.

"Face each other without weapons for once."

The brothers met the others stare, and for a moment, just the tiniest of seconds really, I thought my plan would work. Nothing like full on confrontation to amend old wounds.

But then, Loki disappeared. Just like a ghost vanishing into thin air.

If I really wanted to, I could easily bring him back. This unspoken power the universe granted me, would easily allow this.

However, my intention was not to force the two brothers together. This would only create more animosity.

So, I let him go and turned my focus toward Thor.

"You're not getting it back," I finally stated, noticing the intense gaze he had on the weapon.

"How-."

"Not important. But you're not getting it back until I see a compromise. And I assure you, this staff is quite important to Loki."

I glanced down, fingers trailing over the ancient markings.

"He injected the heart of a star and flames of the Godivian suns into this. If your hammer is the strongest weapon across the worlds, then Loki's is the second."

And the admiration was evident in my voice. Which was one thing I was a bit envious of. How Gods and humans and dwarfs and elves and every other being could so casually travel to where they wished while I sat in my realm, constantly concealing myself unless it was to establish peace.

Not to say I was angry at my position. Bestowing peace provided me a sense of purpose. A euphoria unmatched by anything else I'd ever done in my long life.

But the restrictiveness of being Queen of a realm no one is supposed to know about, not even its' existence, but has been secretly banishing evil and maintaining the peace for millenniums, was a bit frustrating.

A thought suddenly sprang to me, but I wasn't sure if asking it would be wise. I'd already showcased my abilities to the two men, both of which would not soon forget the incident. Would asking this only divulge more of myself?

Taking in Thor's unmoving features, I decided there was no harm.

"You and Jane. How have things been going?"

His lips were set into a firm line, but they opened back up at the question.

"You know of myself and Jane," he accused. "Tell me who you are."

"I am a secret weapon manifested within the walls of S.H.I.E.L.D. itself."

"No one should possess the power to-."

"Note how I said secret. Meaning there are things even you are quite unaware of, which happen within the agency."

He still seemed unsure, in fact, probably didn't trust me one bit. Which he shouldn't. I was lying through the cracks in between my teeth.

"You and Jane," I repeated, wanting an answer.

"We're...on separate terms," he finally finished, voice lowering at the last part.

"What happened?"

If the rebuilding of the bridge only caused more grief for the God of Thunder, then I would have to find another way to show my gratitude.

"Her attentions were drawn by another. But this hardly matters. Who are you? What is your name? I do not know of an entity strong enough to separate a God from his weapon."

His accusation had morphed into full fledged curiosity.

"I'm human and my name is Lucy," I provided, resiting the same name of the apartment I currently had leased out.

"Impossible."

"Is not."

"Is so."

Grinning, I shrugged good-naturedly.

"You don't have to believe me-."

The squealing of breaks and voluminous sirens suddenly graced the air waves.

"-but know that this is in your best interest."

And then I began walking, knowing Thor would follow.

"I must get back," he mentioned. "You are sure you won't divulge your name?"

"Is Lucy such a bad name?"

"It is too dull for the talents you possess."

Funnily enough, his words didn't cause a giggle to flip around in my throat. Quite the opposite. The foreign heat of red appearing in my cheeks, struck me.

"Thank you, Thor."

On I walked, wandering past my apartment complex. It'd do well for the man not to know my living arrangements right away.

"My hammer-."

"Will be in good hands," I assured. "And I promise to give back after you and Loki reach a truce. And don't try faking one. I always know when people are faking."

"How will I find you?"

"I'll find you when the time is convenient."

"Your convenience isn't a reassuring promise."

I paused, taking Thor in. His red cape blew valiantly in the slight breeze while the blonde in his hair and blue in his eyes constantly contrasted each other, allowing for a very unique and statuesque face to form.

"I know. But at least this will spur you into action."

"I could be less than polite and take back my hammer now."

"You could-," I admitted, "-try."

And something in my features must have further alerted him to the inhumanity inside me.

"Good luck," I offered.

When he only nodded, I made my retreat. It wasn't often that I became the object of such scrutiny by a race other than my own. Too much vigilance might divulge too many facts.

I don't know how long I walked or where my feet traveled, but I knew it felt good. And not just because I showed up two Asgardian Gods.

Well...not completely, at least.

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**I hope that piqued your interest in a way. I do have to say that I very much liked Loki from the movie, but Thor's relationship with his brother was an interesting dynamic as well and definitely made me like him more. Unlike a lot of stories for this fandom, I'm not going to supply angst by the buckets between the two. Yep, sorry for those who enjoy that. Let me know all of your thoughts in a review. And I hope the thought of the universe speaking to "Lucy" isn't too crazy. I do plan on exploring this aspect.**


	2. Paranoid Android

**I'll admit I'm a bit discouraged at the lack of response to this story. Which means I've done something wrong. With very few story alerts (thank you to those who have) and no reviews, I've contemplated just ending it here. But then YingYang reviewed and holy platypus, I think I'm going to finish this story no matter what it takes. Thank you so much for your lovely review and I think I realized for the first time how important fans are. True fans who read multiple pieces. That just warms my heart that you've started reading this one. Thank you! And hey, maybe this is that one idea/story that just isn't popular and not going to amount much attention. It happens to every writer. Regardless, I do have an idea for this story and I only hope you continue tuning in to hear it.**

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**Chapter 2 - Paranoid Android**

As I fell further away from my surroundings, the veins within my body slowed their throbbing. My breaths skipped out in a silent melody. Even my heart offered up a passive pace.

With eyes closed, a vision spread out before me.

Darkness. Pitch, black, shadow-infested, the one your mother warned you about, type of darkness.

And just when I was ready to open up again, afraid the long distance wouldn't work, a voice initiated the first speech.

_"What worries you?"_

Shuddering at the enigmatic intensity of the voice, I shifted in my seated form.

_"I fear I may have said too much," I admitted, the slightest of worry entering me. "We are sworn to secrecy. I know the consequences of our existence to the other realms. Have I said too much?"_

_"You know my answer to this. Your revealment to the other realms is not my decision. It is yours. When the time is right, the other realms will know you."_

_"But I don't want to be solely responsible for revealing our race. Especially when others are so adamantly against it. I need to keep this a secret."_

_"Do you wish for other realms to know of your existence?"_

I tried not to seem surprised by the question, but as always, the universe asked of me things I rarely could answer properly.

_"I do not feel like it can be beneficial. I think of all the wars I've prevented and the beings who led them. If they were aware of a realm dedicated to keeping the peace, their blood lust would be unquenchable. This would put all of us at risk. We are not warriors. We are not clever with weapons or trickery. All we are lies in the strength of knowledge and physical beauty. And even I find myself lacking in these departments. There is no possible way we could fend off an attack."_

A long silence stretched over the air, the darkness seeming to blanket even the brightness of the apartment.

_"You are far stronger than you can imagine. Believe in this and your decisions will be clear."_

And even though I felt the presence seep away, there was a need to reel it back in. Demand what it meant by the words.

"Wait!"

This time, I said this out loud as opposed to telepathically.

The essence continued to retreat until not even my final pleads could usher it back.

"What do you mean by that?"

"Now who is that you are talking to?"

The sudden voice was so unexpected it forced a squeal from between my lips.

When the noise passed, my eyes flashed open just to see Loki, brother to Thor.

He leaned gracefully against the manila sofa I'd often sleep on, arms crossed. The ferocious green in his eyes, like a planet of eternal wilderness and jungle, stayed on my every movement. And yet, I could not find it in me to feel panicked. By far, Loki was not the worst being I've faced.

"Buddha," I answered simply, rolling back my shoulders with a calm smile. "I meditate three times a day. It helps keep the zen."

His disbelief was evident.

"Your knowledge would make some assume you are actually mortal," he pointed out after a minute of tense staring. "Certainly have studied this race enough. Tell me, what are you?"

"Um...human."

"Try again."

"Paranoid android?"

"Android?"

"Don't forge the paranoid part," I reminded, studying the pacing God.

His eyes did a slow crawl over my seated form.

"Of what realm?" he demanded.

"Knowing won't help you get your staff back."

"I do not want it."

I felt my eyebrows spring up in surprise.

"You don't want your weapon back?" I questioned indignantly.

"It is but one of many I have in my possession. I only wished to add that your death will be swift if you hand it over now."

"Oh."

This had me thinking for a moment.

"No."

Then again, another ponder.

"So, do your worst."

And perhaps my words weren't worded the greatest.

A sly grin befell his features and suddenly, I felt like I'd challenged him in some way.

"I do hope you remember those words in the coming days."

For a moment, I hesitated. Did I really just endanger the people I was meant to keep out of harm's way?

"I know you want your staff back," I tried. "You'd be foolish to leave it in the hands of another after taking such accurate measures to create it. Really a fantastic job, I've got to mention. But, you're not getting it back until you make peace with your brother."

"He is not my real brother," the God spat.

"No," I agreed, lifting myself to a standing position, "but you two have gone through enough to where that shouldn't matter. Honestly, this is probably why humans don't worship Gods anymore. Your jealousy and greed outweighs even their own. A human's God is meant to be pure and forgiving. Not cynical and merciless."

His anger shifted into a pensive frown.

"My warning will not be repeated. Give me back what is mine."

Sighing, I couldn't help but feel a bit giddy. I don't know why. The God very obviously intended to kill me.

"As of now, your and Thor's weapon are at an undisclosed location. And they will remain there until, well...you know the rest."

Just before the sentence was completed, Loki vanished into the air again. I guessed it was his astral projection, or perhaps his manipulation of illusions. Asgard was known for holding some talented sorcerers. It wasn't unlikely he'd probably learned a few talents.

Although, his sudden disappearances gave off the impression he was a tad bit bipolar. And didn't enjoy handling confrontations.

What I didn't expect, however, was the sudden appearance of the man behind me. Or the iron arm wrapping around my throat and dragging me back into his body with a soft thud, vibrations bouncing off his armor.

Which is exactly what happened and made me displace a severely unattractive _BLEH! _from my throat as the grip tightened and all of nature's elements combined with electricity, invaded my nostrils.

"Give. Me. Back. My. Staff."

His words came out slow and dangerous while simultaneously tugging me back further into his body. I could tell his voice was only millimeters away from my ear.

"Never," I ended up choking out for there really was nothing I could do. His grip only allowed for so much oxygen.

"Wrong answer," he hissed.

And then the one hand securing my back, suddenly fled into my hair and yanked backwards. Suddenly, my face was turned up toward the ceiling while my legs struggled to support the uncomfortable strain.

Loki's face appeared before me, one hand still snarled within my hair and the other morphing into a choke hold around my throat.

"Whatever you are," he noted, eyes scanning down my throat, "you still have little comprehension of commands."

I tried giving back an answer, but the tightness around my throat prevented even a squeak.

Eventually, he relented just the tiniest bit.

"I-."

Quickly, I swallowed.

"I might change my mind if you asked nicely."

A devilish smirk swept over his lips and for a second, the God lowered his head over mine. I could tell he wanted to say something demeaning. Or domineering. Or damned infuriating.

But all he did was stare.

I'm sure it wasn't intentional. The words were probably loaded in his throat, ready to shoot out into the room. Yet, for some reason or another, they got stuck.

And the position quickly turned from physically uncomfortable to all out nerve wracking.

Please, let me explain my thought processes to you throughout this little moment.

When his eyes bore into mine, the green evolving into a near emerald, something inside me sort of shivered. Really, I couldn't describe it to you even if I had a hand at my throat. Which...well, you can see is quite self explanatory.

My thoughts went something like this.

Why is he staring at me like I've rescued his puppy from beneath a well?

And then.

Please don't let me blush. Not again.

Once the redness in my cheeks began to ignite with a hellish flame, I felt like squeezing my eyes shut and never opening them again. In all of the years I've been alive, I have never blushed. EVER. I didn't even know one could do so until I came to Earth and witnessed it myself in the movies.

But in one day, I manage to do so TWO times with TWO different individuals.

It was horrendously embarrassing, especially since it was pulled out of me so easily.

Only when Loki took in the blush, seemingly a bit dazed himself, did he drop me to the floor.

I landed with a thud, breath momentarily receding from my lungs. I'd been withheld from oxygen before and this fall only helped portray me as a guppy out of water. Plus, the ceiling above me began to sway.

"Know that I warned you," Loki proclaimed above me, eyes back to their normal fury.

Still out of breath, I raised a fist and gave him a thumbs up as tears began to build up in my eyes.

And once again, he fled. Into the air. Like a ghost. With no remorse.

This time, he stayed gone.

TLOTLOTLOTLO

When my throat was properly able to function, I studied it for a long moment in the mirror. With the physical strength beings from other realms were blessed with, it came as no surprise to find the area bruising already. A light bronze to be more direct.

Grimacing, I rubbed over the spot delicately. Yet another thing no Queen before me had ever done. Been physically mistreated.

Although an empathetic part of me did reason that such a prestigious weapon should be pursued with some sort of vigor.

But our talent of keeping to the shadows while maintaining the peace had never resulted in our actual physical harm. We had more skill than that.

Oh what my realm would think of me now if they realized a God had put their hands on me.

Funnily enough though, they wouldn't retaliate. Our will to preserve peace must be practiced before spread. Which meant no lashing out.

Sometimes, though, I think we are peaceful to the point of ignorance. The universe creates beings who have flaws. And needs. And instincts.

Denying the immoral instinct to fight or defend ourselves isn't always an easy thing to do. But we still do. Because we'd be hypocrites to fight amongst ourselves while trying to bring about a better life.

But there are times, I think, we have to let out that pent up struggle. It isn't healthy to keep it all in.

I trailed a finger over the mark again, relieved I hadn't fought back this time. The less he knew about my abilities, the better concealed my identity would be.

And it's not like he could even begin to even imagine what I was. There's no name for us. We are vacant from any history books in any realm. Only lost dreams within troubled minds.

Swallowing, I stretched my arms up above, relieved I'd taken care of the weapons when I did.

This, however, left a problematic thought.

How far would Loki go to have his staff back?

TLOTLOTLOTLO

The answer to my question came rather shortly, actually.

Again, I was walking down a street - an area that just seems to be the epicenter of dangerous business - when a great crash erupted. I couldn't determine the area of the noise, but I quickly swallowed my hamburger and glanced around the street.

A week had gone by since Loki had entered my apartment and to say I was a bit anxious would be an understatement. The entire ordeal greatly puzzled and troubled me and everywhere I went, there was a sense of unease. Like the God himself could strike me down or someone else just because I was withholding his weapon.

Finally, my eyes picked out a corporation center. Far above, the glass holding in the windows was falling gracelessly upon the residents below. Who screamed and panicked.

Understandable.

But as I observed the windows further, a gulp elevated down my throat. Before the glass could strike the civilians, it took on a new form. Frozen icicles. As if the glass was moving through an invisible cold front and morphed into shards of crystal ice.

This was not my imagination. The day had been abnormally cool for a September, or so the weatherman told me, and with one exhale, I could see my own breath.

Which meant only one thing.

To confirm this thought, I fell into a run against the horde of pedestrians running against me. And I did acknowledge that the residents of Los Angeles had it bad. They were issued no warning of the impending trouble that was Loki. Or his thirst to destroy his brother. Wrong place, wrong time.

Especially when the city was just able to pay for the damage done on the other side of town. Luckily, the Gucci store had not been replaced.

The first Frost Giant poked his head out from behind a brown stone building, raging expression scaring away the nearest persons. But all he did was stand there.

Until I realized he was waiting for the great army behind him.

There must have been easily 50 of them, all in narrow rows, marching forward like a storm of troopers. Of course with different intentions.

And who walked before them?

None other than the God who was born in their realm.

Briefly, I wondered where Thor was. Or any other member of S.H.I.E.L.D. Didn't they handle these kind of issues? And let me stress that this was a very BIG issue.

Loki saw me before I could duck out of view and a malicious smile stemmed as a result.

"They will wreak havoc whether you give me back what is mine or not," he informed, one hand extending backwards. "But how many humans they kill...now that is negotiable."

My jaw clenched, legitimately furious for once. I wasn't sure if it came from the careless way he bargained the human lives of the planet or just his belief of superiority. Whatever it was, it forced me to stomp forward.

The streets quickly dispersed of pedestrians, but out of the corner of my eye, I did note a few already dead. Which only made me angrier.

There was a moment of inner reflection I had which asked just exactly what I planned on doing. Harm to the God would only tarnish my own beliefs. Queens did not kill. They were a source of strength in the darkest of times. A living, breathing alternative to violence. To the horrible thoughts ready to consume oneself.

My fingers twitched throughout this stride, and I knew this meant only one thing. Involuntarily, I was calling for my strengths within the universe.

The first time, when I'd taken away Thor and Loki's weapons, it was intentional. I hadn't planned on hurting them, only making a point.

This time, however, I was a bit concerned of the intent my heart carried.

When only ten feet separated us, I paused in my steps. Already, the atmosphere sent the hairs on my arms up into straight, pin points. A brutal chill I had not yet encountered. In fact, only few Queens ever made the journey to the realm of the Frost Giants. And some came back with a great deal of frost bite.

None of the Giants moved, but their red eyes swayed like murderous embers. Their claws were ready to bring on a new Ice Age. Their teeth ready to bite through flesh like butter.

Observing them all, and making a personal point not to look at Loki, I found my eyes sticking to one Giant in particular. He appeared the snarliest and most menacing of them all and as a plan began to form in my mind, I silently picked out this one for my demonstration if the situation ever got to that point.

But first thing first. Clear the air.

"Who is the leader of the Frost Giants?" I asked, my voice sounding authoritative and strong. Which really helped my case, mind you.

A few snarled in confusion, while some glanced at Loki.

"Come now," I began again, taking them in. "Surely your leader is not the God before you. He was brought up in Asgard. Adopted son of the man who nearly slayed your old leader. Which is rather ironic because Loki finished the job a few months ago."

This time, the snarls weren't aimed at me.

"She knows nothing," was Loki's defense, smile not so eager to make a presence anymore.

"Who is your leader?" I called again.

Sirens sank into the atmosphere, but they sounded far too distant. And I hoped this remained the case. If the police walked into this war zone, the death count would soar.

"We do not have one as of yet," one Frost Giant finally admitted harshly.

I didn't let out a single emotion. Instead, I nodded.

"How is the treaty with the dwarfs going?"

This question surprised them. Which in all purposes, was my intention.

As the Queen who made the treaty possible, I genuinely was curious. Attaining the peace between these realms was like dipping a match into gasoline, hoping against all hope that it wouldn't ignite.

The same one who admitted to not having a leader, spoke again.

"What is your concern? You are only prolonging our massacre."

"Then humor me," I answered, offering up a smile.

The Giant opened his jaw, ready to retort, when Loki interrupted.

"Ignore her. It is obvious she cannot prevent this and is only biding time. Kill her."

My eyes narrowed at this, but I still kept on the same smile.

And this, apparently, saved me a hell of a lot of bruises.

"They trespass on our lands."

A few hisses erupted at the disgorgement of the information, but the Frost Giant who'd spoken, snarled right back.

"It is true! Without a leader, no one is aware of this. No one can make sure they stay within their own realm."

"What could she possibly do about it?" another grumbled.

"A whole lot," I interjected before an internal spat could start. "Tell me if the dwarfs are in a pack when this occurs, or if it is just one individual who does this."

There were a few murmurs, and the picture before me couldn't fail to surprise me. The Frost Giants, known for their viciousness and lack of regard for others, a race that was quite eager to indulge in war, was currently contemplating how to solve a dispute without murder. If I was in a less tense situation, I might have cried in joy.

As they mumbled among themselves, I took this time to glance over at Loki. His green eyes were staring daggers through me, but I didn't miss the confusion and intrigue as well.

Baring my teeth, I offered him a wink before bringing my focus back on the Giants.

"In a great pack," one answered. "We believe they are searching for resources."

"Just once?" I asked, mind kicking into overdrive.

The treaty between Jotunheim and Nidavellir stated really one primary law. There would be no traveling to the others realm without probable cause or permission. The treaty was just barely agreed upon and travel in between the two realms from its beings is incredibly rare.

"I cannot recall, but it was dark when they made their appearance."

"Your entire realm is normally pitch black," I pointed out.

The Giant who'd spoken, let out a growl.

"Alright, no time for humor. This was recent?"

"Yes."

Nodding, I crossed my arms.

Blocking out the oddity of the situation was easy, but figuring out a solution provided to be a bit more challenging.

Why would the dwarfs enter Jotunheim without permission? Especially if it would start a war. It seems so careless of them. And they know, even if their pride won't let them admit it, that they would lose.

"Were they aware of their location?" I asked.

"They claimed not to have no knowledge of how they came to be in our realm."

This was followed with a wave of disgruntled agreements.

"What did you do to them?"

"What else do you think we could do for their obvious breach of the treaty? We slaughtered them."

My eyes widened. If this had indeed happened, it occurred after my journey to Earth. Maybe even sooner. And if the information reached the beings of Nidavellir...well, that certainly would not be good.

"Did you ever think that perhaps they were telling the truth?" I suggested.

"No."

And the others agreed, no guilt in their gestures.

"Has...any of your race gone missing?"

"We are very few now. We cannot afford such careless wandering."

His words for some reason, nudged my brain, informing me of something important.

Their entire race was nearly annihilated. The energy required for this sort of genocide was massive.

Like building a bridge between Asgard and Midgard?

I shook my head, flabbergasted at the thought.

Was it possible that some of the residue from the energy needed to rebuild the bridge, poked a hole in another realm. A hole that connected one realm to another. So if say a group of dwarfs were wandering through a patch of grassland one moment, they would suddenly find themselves in the icy realm of Jotunheim. Could that be possible?

And if this was the case, it worked both ways. The hole would allow the realm's beings to be slaughtered and reignite tensions to the point of terrible proportions.

"Shit," I mumbled aloud, realizing how my good intent to reunite Thor with his girlfriend, had actually led to a whole lot of unfavorable circumstances.

The Frost Giants stared at me in one collective cluster.

"The rebuilding of the bridge between Asgard and Midgard," I explained, "sent excess energy throughout the universe. Somehow, this was deflected to tear a hole into your realm and the dwarfs. If my theory is correct, this is the reason they were in your realm."

"And if you are wrong?" one grunted.

"Then there's another explanation. But the hole has to be fixed before it grows wider. Who knows how many of their race will end up in your realm next time?"

There was a collective snarl of disapproval at this thought.

"So," I stated, feeling like a Queen for once, "here's your choice. You can either wage war with humanity, something that will not go unpunished, mind you. Earth has agencies committed to destroying all that is harmful to mankind. Or go back to your realm, and fix the damn hole letting in the dwarfs. This decision will save a whole bunch of your people dying and continue a fairly valid peace treaty."

I knew their answers before even they did. Which was odd considering I never had that much confidence in my solutions. They were always thrown out there before they could be properly mulled over.

"We accept."

The next voice of discontent came from Loki whom I'd nearly forgotten altogether about.

"I command-."

"You are not our leader, Asgardian God. Remember your place and know it is not with us."

The split second of anguish on Loki's face made a flinch pass through me. He was being denied by both of his families now. And who would take the brunt of his anger?

Yep. That would be me.

Briefly, I considered asking the Frost Giants to apologize. They did unfairly slay a group of dwarfs. And although their reasoning wasn't exactly an act of war, the deaths could remain a trigger for some dwarfs not as content with the results.

Before I could voice this, the Frost Giants had dissolved into the atmosphere, returning to their realm.

I watched this with an air of fascination. Did I really just negotiate with a group of Frost Giants that were momentarily hell bent on destroying Los Angeles?

Yes. Yes I did.

"What are you?"

I faced Loki, unsure how to answer his sudden question.

This didn't deter him. In fact, the expression befalling him only grew more inquisitive the longer he took me in.

"You are not human. Far too knowledgeable of events in other realms. You are neither a light elf or dark. The ears tend to be a giveaway. Not a dwarf or giant, as your height is that of a healthy human. The death realms would not take you because all of your organs still function life."

He ventured forward a few steps, eyes scrambling over me like a madman.

"Demon? No. Your intentions are not to harm. Which only leaves Vanaheim. And I doubt this one as well. The women of their realm are highly inclined to war, just as Asgardians are. They are nearly twins. And your abilities...those are not normal of any realm. Not even sorcerer's can teach that type of separation."

I had to give him a silent applaud for his perception. If Thor had the bravery to be King, Loki held the smarts.

"Maybe I'm a mix, like you?" I offered.

His curiosity made way for a frown.

"How is it you played upon the Giants' weakness?"

"Weakness?" I laughed.

But the God was quite serious.

"It is not a weakness. I simply offered them reason."

"Reason? There exists no such thing. Your reason is nothing but madness."

"And it would be safe to say that you carry a ton of reason then?" I questioned, far more amused about the situation than I should be.

Loki didn't answer, but I did share another laugh at his expense.

"War," I recounted, "is the result of a lack in reason. Give reason to a warring side and the thirst for battle is suddenly not so important. You've got to get it all down to basics in the end. The way that every one of us, be it dwarf or elf or human, is wired. We share so many common emotions. It's a matter of figuring out which the opposing side is feeling and understanding it."

"What...if it cannot be understood?"

The sudden shift in tone nearly made me freeze altogether. This was a side I did not see. Or think was seen often by others.

"There's always someone who will try their hardest to understand what you're feeling. You already have that person. All you need to do is speak to them."

Whether my words had any impact, I doubt it. But it felt good saying them. Right in a way.

It made me feel like the Queens before my time were proud of me for saying it.

Above us, rain suddenly descended. And with the chill atmosphere in the area, it felt like goblets of ice.

In the distance, a bolt of lightning fled from the ashen clowds.

"I think your brother is near," I mentioned, eyes glued to the skies above.

By the time I glanced back down, Loki was gone.

* * *

**Weird? Stupid? Go-die-in-a-hole-awful? Let me know your thoughts in a review! And...with the 9 realms. They are pretty much accurrate with the Marvel Comics world. One for dwarfs. One for light elves. One for dark elves. One for demons. One for the dead, honorable and dishonorable spirits. One for humans. One for Gods. One for Frost Giants (whom I called Frozen Giants all throughout the first chapter). And one for female warriors/Gods. Just own the 10th realm...which doesn't have a name yet. Any suggestions?**


	3. What A Great Mess We're In

**I'd like to give a big shout out to everyone who reviewed. Especially tainted angel who specifically identified the things she liked about the story. Doing this helps me determine what to write next and how to write it if I know you've liked it before. Thank you. And to Yang who is supportive as always. Hope you all enjoy..and yes, events are going to be moving along a bit slow. But that's just the progression I need to accurately build the believability of the characters and their actions. Enjoy!**

* * *

**Chapter 3 - What A Great Mess We're In**

Only when I was halfway to my apartment, rain beating down on me like a tropical storm, did I feel a hand wrap around my wrist. Before I could glance down, it tugged me into a nearby restaurant.

What I'm sure it didn't expect was my clumsiness to make a reappearance.

The slippery soles of my squeaky tennis shoes sped across the linoleum floor and like a seal out of water, my body weight rendered my balance useless.

Luckily, there was at least one brother who didn't have a habit of dropping the people he was talking to.

"Sorry," Thor mumbled, pulling me up. I'd just nearly mopped the floor with my soaked butt.

"It's fine," I answered, feeling my face heat up again. The display had gathered a sort of audience, but I'm sure it was aimed at Thor. He was a superhero after all.

"That was meant to be more graceful in my head," he admitted, balancing me on my feet.

"At least one brother was taught the finer points of manners."

We shuffled over to a nearby booth, his form still behind me just in case I decided to hit the floor. It was very thoughtful of him, but my face still hadn't returned to a normal temperature. Maybe I had a fever?

When I slid in, a waitress immediately gravitated over, hiding a smile behind a notepad.

"Anything I can get you two?" she quipped, eyes traveling over my wet clothes, then at Thor. Who wouldn't you know it, had not a single drop on his perfect, blonde, blue-eyed, body.

Sometimes, I wished I too was the God of Thunder. The rain drops would pause so I could walk beneath them.

"Have anything you want," Thor offered.

I glanced at him in confusion, then noted his covered grin as well.

With as much dignity as I could, one hand scooped up my auburn, shoulder length hair and twisted. I'm sure the water that came out was a bit of overkill. At least I hope it was.

"Nothing for me, thank you," I answered.

"And you?"

Obvious attempt at flirtation did make my mood swing back up.

"Nothing as well, thank you."

When she left, I lifted both eyebrows in surprise.

"What?" he questioned.

"You're polite. Where'd you learn to be polite?"

He glanced down at his hands, one finger picking at the nail of another.

"S.H.I.E.L.D. claims the human race is less attuned to panic if their superheroes are friendly," he admitted quietly.

"Ah," I took in. "Does this extend to villains as well?"

The God let out a short laugh, nodding his head.

"Thank you for that."

"For what?"

"Getting rid of the Frost Giants and calming Loki down."

"Wait...you were there and did nothing about it?"

"Calm down," he suggested, grin still tugging at his lips. "I was not there. Loki had stirred up trouble in another part of the city and very few of us were able to get to you in time. And once there, our commander wanted to see what you'd do."

"How thoughtful," I muttered, still not seeing the advantages of his plan. If things hadn't gone correctly, would they have been willing to lay down their lives?

Although I would have been able to fend for myself.

Still, it was the thought that counted.

"Is there a reason you wished to speak to me?" I asked.

"Yes. A part of it has to do with the information you told me. S.H.I.E.L.D. has never heard of you. In fact, they asked _us_ if we knew who you were."

This time, the grin appeared on my face.

"You don't say."

"Lucy."

My eyes sprang up, shocked he'd actually used the name.

"I did not say anything," Thor explained, "but whatever you are and however it is you are able to do what you can do, know that it has a chance of being monitored. The agency was impressed with you. They saw your ability to maintain peace as something to be explored."

I understood where he was going with the information, and I'll admit it did make me slightly uncomfortable. How was it that every time I tried to do something good, somebody was always watching?

Earth was certainly a lot easier to manage from the safety of my realm.

"I'm human."

"Do you really think they believed that?"

Frowning, I bit at my lip.

"Alright then. Thank you for warning me."

"What does this mean for you?"

"It means it's time for a relocation."

At his silence, I glanced up.

"Oh yeah. Your weapon. I guess I can wait to relocate. I'll have to be careful, of course. Have you talked to Loki yet?"

His eyes narrowed, and I quickly took the hostile gesture as an answer.

"Something tells me the God doesn't like confrontation," I mused.

"Not if he knows you have a better point than him."

"How'd you put up with him as a child?"

"He was good at masking his envy."

"Your entire childhood? C'mon. There have to have been moments you two shared that solidified your status as brothers."

Thor shook his head, but I knew enough that my words made him think.

"I should probably get going," I stated, sensing his reluctance to divulge that sort of personal information. "Thank you for the heads up."

"That's not all I wanted to tell you."

Pausing, I sunk back down in the booth.

"I will be speaking with my brother shortly," he admitted, eyes focused on me.

Immediately, I picked up on the lie. It was subtle and only passed through his eyes for not even half a second. But it was there and I did nod in reply. Like I believed him.

"That's great. You two really need each other."

He didn't know what to say to that, so I slid back out of the booth.

"Let me walk you home," he offered.

"So you can continue to look attractive next to the cat who'd been dumped into a bucket of water? No thank you."

His lips spread at this, statement generally amusing him. Which was ironic. He knew he was an attractive man. The obvious statement was sure to inflate his ego just the tiniest bit.

"Really, I promise not to say anything."

I studied him cautiously, but eventually shrugged. His agency had probably already found my apartment.

TLOTLOTLOTLO

The rain miraculously ceased falling on our way to my apartment. Clouds were still containing a rumble, but all else was at peace.

"You have anything to do with that?" I inquired, casting my brown eyes up.

"I fear telling you will only confirm your perception of me as an arrogant, hot-headed God," he answered with a smirk.

"You've already convinced me," I quipped back happily.

Beside me, he stole a quick glance up at the sky before resting his eyes on me.

"Yes. But I do not have complete control over it. Most of it is nature taking its course."

I nodded, understanding what he was trying to get across.

Providing the clues through meteorological phenomenon for Jane Foster to rebuild the bridge between Midgard and Asgard, didn't come without its difficulties. One had to adjust to the weather, not the other way around.

My apartment appeared shortly after the discussion and I hesitated briefly about entering. Would some pesky agent be waiting for me inside?

Thor witnessed my hesitancy, but contributed it to the wrong reason.

"Was my brother inside? I can walk you in if you want."

"So you can search for your weapon? Not a chance. Loki's tried. Not the happiest when he couldn't find it."

The God frowned, searching up the apartment complex.

"Did he harm you?"

"Nothing I couldn't handle."

My companion still seemed unbelieving.

"Thor," I said, somewhat irritated with his pursuit. "I can handle myself. Was able to separate you from your weapon, remember?"

He flinched at this, and I realized perhaps it wasn't the best example to offer.

"If it'll make you feel better," my empathetic side kicking back in, "I'll let you inside so you can look around. But I assure you, Loki is going to book it if he senses your presence."

He accepted the offer by following me inside a second later.

TLOTLOTLOTLO

When the elevator doors sprang open, I half expected Thor to throw out a roadhouse kick. He was very much on edge.

The entire way up, he seemed preoccupied. As if trying to sense something. Or someone.

My neighbor Jonathon, unfortunately, was the recipient of his agile reflexes.

Let me explain something to you about Jonathon Patterson. He's a sweetheart. And that is not a term I throw around very often.

Perhaps in his upper 30's in human years, the man has a heart of gold. Often, he let me into his apartment when I couldn't figure out that my door wouldn't magically open if one did not have a key. So used to door-less rooms within my palace, the oddity of preventing others from coming in was a tad foreign.

Some nights, the man was kind enough to make me a quick dish while I waited for the landlady to stomp her way up the stairs, irritated as usual to discover her new tenant was in the first stages of Alzheimer's.

Actually, it was at his apartment that I learned women blushed. I can't recall the movie he'd been watching, but I witnessed the red spread up the woman's cheeks and asked Jonathon if she was suddenly ill after her onstage lover proclaimed his passion to her.

"No...that's...that's uh...blushing."

And his gaze made me feel only that much more alien.

But he never held my strange quirks against me. All I did was mention I was from Europe and we did things a bit differently there. He accepted the excuse without a fuss.

So when Thor and I turned into the hallway containing my apartment, we were both unprepared for Jonathon to meet us.

Thor immediately shot out a hand and grabbed the man by the throat. Within another second, Jonathon's limp form was pressed firmly into the wall.

"Woah!" I yelled, grabbing on to one of Thor's hands. "That's a human. Good human. Kind human. Human that is not your brother."

It took Jonathon's gasped breaths and a harder than usual pinch from myself, to finally convince Thor that I was safe.

"Sorry," the God mentioned after lowering my neighbor.

Jonathon's wide eyes studied Thor from behind his spectacles, nodding slowly.

"I-it's okay. Just caught me off guard."

"Are you alright?" I asked, taking a step toward him.

The man's posture seemed to sigh at the proximity.

"Yes. I was looking for you."

Smiling, because for some reason, his nervousness always made me do that, I asked for what reason.

"Some guy was asking around about you."

This had Thor's attention.

"What did he look like?" my companion questioned.

"Uh...really tall. Had a trench coat. Black hair. Think his eyes were green. And thin. Looked like he hadn't eaten in awhile."

I met Thor's stare and we had a silent conversation with our eyes.

"Thank you," I finally said, taking Jonathon in. "Do you remember what the questions were?"

"Just basic stuff. I tried not to give away too much. I thought maybe he was a jealous ex-boyfriend or something. Didn't want to put you in that type of situation."

"That's very kind of you," I praised.

Jonathon shrugged, but I could tell the comment made him stand a little taller.

"Anyway," he continued, "he wanted to know when you moved in. How often you were at your apartment. If you brought anybody else back there. Or if I noticed anything strange about you."

"That would definitely be Lyle," I agreed before Thor could speak. "Ignore him. He just wants his underwear back. I've yet to hand it back after the split."

Thor had to cough into his hand to prevent his true words from being said.

Jonathon simply shrugged like that was every day business for him.

I offered him a handshake, still unsure how to give him my thanks. I'd been offering him handshakes ever since I moved in and normally, this would suffice.

But I felt like he purposely tried to not give away as much as he could about me. And to do so, one would have to form an attachment to the person they were protecting.

Having gotten used to this odd display of thanks, Jonathon wrapped his hand around mine and offered up a smile.

"You are an enigma," he stated.

"I know," I softly agreed.

And then our limbs were disconnected and he was offering his goodbye. Something about snapping photographs of the latest damage done in downtown Los Angeles.

By the time I had ushered Thor into my apartment, I was far more at ease. At least I had made an impression on one individual while on Earth.

"Lyle?" Thor questioned as soon as I closed the door.

I didn't know whether to grimace or grin.

"He's a bad boyfriend. Not my fault."

"I would suggest not informing him of this alias," he offered.

"Duly noted."

Before I could offer the man my own gratitude, Thor was weaving in between rooms. I knew very well what he was searching for. Most likely, it was the same thing he'd been occupied with tracing while in the elevator.

This time, I stayed mute. Sooner or later he'd discover that I didn't have his hammer.

While he nearly tore apart each room, I took this time to make myself some soup. This delicacy to ease the effects of a cold was unheard of in my realm. So, I planned on taking a few cans back with me. It'd be a fascinating remedy for the residents.

By the time I took my first sip of the steaming food, Thor was officially done looking.

"Find it yet?" I asked, wanting to be supportive and all.

"You are just enjoying yourself, aren't you?" he accused, seating himself across from me.

"Yes I am."

I spooned another few ounces down my throat, smiling dreamily at the warmth it spread. The shower would quickly be the next line of business after eating.

Which was another human act I had to get used to.

On our realm, the air was impeccably clean. No pollutants. No bacterias or viruses or parasites. Not even radioactivity from nearby stars, penetrated the atmosphere.

This, as strange as it is, kept our bodies within reasonably well hygiene. Perhaps a few washes every other year or so. But the air was like our own personal shower.

Showering every day on Earth was necessary. Just a walk down Los Angeles makes me feel like I'd dragged myself through a dumpster.

At first, this was a bit difficult to remember. But when my clothes began to attract the alley cats, I knew it'd have to be a daily task.

"I guess I really will have to talk to my brother," Thor confessed.

This time, I couldn't determine the truth of his words.

"You've both definitely have gone down in history as having the most intense sibling rivalry of all time."

"That does not surprise me."

His tone indicated he wasn't up to discussing his brother anymore. So, I obliged him.

"Talked to Jane lately?"

The full intensity of his blue gaze fell down on me like a crumbling coliseum.

"Why, may I ask, are you so interested in my relationship with her?"

"You two seemed to really have something going. It's a shame it ended so soon."

Thor's eyes studied me for a long while, squinting at something.

"How could you know that?" he finally questioned. "Know what happens in multiple realms. Know what happened to myself and the people surrounding me. And why is that of importance to you?"

I calmly set my spoon into the soup, wondering how to approach the subject. While Thor meant to ask out of curiosity, I could still detect the slight frustration beneath the words. The King of Asgard did not know something. And this must be very, very unusual for him.

"Just know," I promised, "that I have a purpose for everything I do. A good one. I know it's frustrating for you to divulge information to me. You know nothing of me and I've done nothing to assure you can trust me. Actually, I've taken something from you. By nature, this should already make me an enemy. But I really do want to help you. And if you won't help yourself, then I will. It's just the way I do things."

He digested the words, but I couldn't say exactly what his thoughts were. And I didn't want to know. In fact, what I really wanted was some alone time to wonder whether what I was doing was actually beneficial. Neither brother wanted to confront each other? Why should I force them?

But that's when I recalled the consequences of them being left to their own device. Constantly in battle, taking countless lives with them. Beginning a battle that surely would rage into the next century.

That was why I fought so hard for this. That is why both of their weapons were not going to be handed back until they got over whatever animosity filled them.

I was doing my job as Queen.

"I speak to her," Thor informed. "But she is very happy with the new man in her life."

"Is he a good guy?"

"The brash, impatient side of me wants to pummel him. But this new hero who plays nice with the citizens of Earth, has to admit he is perfect for her. In a way I don't think I ever was."

Hearing the admission made me slide my hand across the table and offer it as a sort of comfort. It's not often one hears a God admitting to such things.

Really, I just wanted to give him a hug. Out of comfort, of course. He only continued to impress me the longer I stayed within his presence.

Thor only stared at the limb, never moving to touch it. I reeled it back in, not embarrassed or disappointed.

"Will you be alright tonight, by yourself?" he asked instead.

"Oh yes. I'm ready for whatever he's got coming next."

"One is not normally so eager to face my brother."

"I'm sure those people weren't equipped with the ability to fend him off."

"And you are?"

I stopped suddenly, replaying my words.

"Maybe."

Just when I thought the man would take the answer without a fuss, he spoke again.

"Will you promise me something?"

"Depends on what it is."

Thor continued studying me, most likely carefully picking his words. Something I personally knew the importance of.

"If my brother and I settle on a peace, will you tell me what you are?"

The question shouldn't have been unexpected, but it managed to keep me from swallowing down another drop of soup.

"Thor," I began slowly, not really sure how to answer the question, "I can't do that."

"Why?"

This time, it was a challenge.

"Because it's not important. Who cares what realm I am from? I'm a being, living and breathing, just like you. What I am won't change that."

"But you feel if I were to know, it would?"

Biting down on my words, I sighed. This time, a headache accompanied me.

"I am just like you," I repeated, refusing to say anymore.

There was a terribly long silence in which I was sure I had royally angered the God.

"You," Thor declared, standing from his spot, "are not like me. You are not like _any_ other being. You have too much kindness in you. Too much pacifism. Where others instinct tells them to fight, you opt for the opposite. Even if you are harmed. There is no realm in existence that pledges this sort of lifestyle."

Unsure how to respond, I kept my lips sealed.

"This would fascinate anyone. If such a race existed. Which you declare is impossible."

"I'm just like you," I repeated.

"No," Thor argued with a light grin, "you're not. And I am not the only one who recognizes this. Loki's curiosity is probably consuming him as we speak. So, I offer you a warning right now."

Fighting back a gulp, I stared back at him with my chin jutted out proudly.

Thor took this in with a great air of amusement. I was sure he found the prospect of facing a woman who was trying to defy his logic, quite humorous.

"You better hope Loki and I don't agree on a truce. Because if we do, and we do get our weapons back as you promised, know that our only goal will be to figure out what you are. And that-."

He moved closer to the table, placing both palms against the wood. His ocean blue eyes pulled me in like a hurricane.

"-Lucy, is something I guarantee you as King of Asgard, will happen."

And then he smiled, confident and poised before throwing me a final wink.

Five minutes later and my heart still pounded like an over inflated basketball. Thor's parting words were the cause of that.

All I wanted to do was create a peace between two brothers that would benefit the residents of Earth. How it came to be all sorts of complicated, I couldn't say.

But damn it if Thor's words didn't worry me. If he was half as determined to find out what I was as he was to get back his hammer, I was in a deep load of trouble.

How in the hell did I get into these type of situations?

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**What is a Queen to do? Who knows? Well, I do. Let me know your thoughts in a review!**


	4. First Times the Charm?

**I'll be watching the Avengers tomorrow night at the midnight premiere. And this makes me nervous because this piece is meant to be a sort of redemption/closure/make up between Thor and Loki. And in the movie, they beat the hell out of each other. So, if you do go see it, just remember the point of this story, despite how infinitely evil Loki will be portrayed (very excited to see, mind you!). Also, this chapter was a PAIN to write because suddenly...I started writing in a mix of present and past tense. Then I couldn't figure out how to neutralize the story and which words to get rid of and when to add an ing or an ed. So if you see any mistakes or any sentences that just don't make sense, please point them out to me. Oh, and tainted angel, I just about passed out from the beauty of your review. I don't expect that every time so don't feel like you have to write a huge one just because I enjoyed it so much. But the fact that you took the time, and actually wrote in detail what you found interesting...well, that can not even be described in words how inspiring that was. Thanks to you and everyone else who reviewed! Otherwise, enjoy this continuous business of strangeness.**

* * *

**Chapter 4 - First Times the Charm?**

Watching night descend over Los Angeles remains one of my favorite activities to do on Earth. It seems bland when you compare it to all of the other activities presented in this city of eternal life, but I had little energy in me to wander the streets or catch a movie after the events of today.

I'd just barely had enough energy to wash myself, wrap up in a poofy, white robe, and pull the living room sofa to the nearest window.

Sitting down was an indescribable pleasure.

Outside, the skyscrapers seem infinitely glorious to me. In fact, only a truly cynical person, most likely of old age, could imagine the buildings ever had an end point. They seemed to reach, reach, reach like an elongated hand and scrape the blackness of the night sky.

The blasts of horns and snarls of cats fighting for territory in the nearest alley were the primary noises in the black streets below. A few blocks east and the _pop pop pop_ of gunfire would carry into the traffic and cat battles.

So much violence over gender, race, money, drugs, possessions, whatever one could think to want badly enough. This was the downside of humanity. Of any race, really.

And _this_ made me feel bad about imagining others in such a demeaning way. Our race wasn't foreign to these aggressions either. We just had a far better level of control. In fact, to act out would be seen as an act of madness.

In my opinion, this is almost worse.

Sighing, because this seemed to quickly become a favorite pastime of mine, I forced my chin above a clenched fist and continued my gazeless stare.

I remember as a child, my parents recounting the tale of how our realm's Queen first came to be. Although then, I did question the believability of it. Others from my realm had heard a more common one, unlike the one told to me.

This caused a bit of confusion and bruised pride on my part when I tried telling others they were wrong.

As the years went by, however, I tend to find the version my parents passed on to me, the more truthful. Something in me believes the Queen wouldn't think of others as playthings. She would embrace what made her unique and never determine the bad emotions to be irrelevant.

Legend had it in the version I was told, that the Queen was once only an ordinary being, alone in the vast, unforgiving universe. It was said that the stars and the moons and a sea of microscopic stardust created her.

When she asked for others to interact with, others like her whom she could love with the great compassion instilled in her, the universe obliged. It loved its most complex and unique creature.

These are my ancestors. The ones the first Queen ever interacted with. Taught her ways to. Began our realm with. Products of the universe.

Over time, however, these beings lived their daily lives without the emotions residing within the Queen. Wound too tight. Never acting out on anger. Always seeming to bite down on their own sadness and pretend they never had any.

Understanding that the most turbulent side of the universe created her and having eternal access to it, the Queen began creation of brand new sets of races to reflect what she believed individuals were actually like. She molded them out of her _own_ emotions as opposed to the universe appointed ones surrounding her.

First, she created the dwarfs.

Sadness fueled this creation from the insecurities she felt. She made them short so they could learn to live happily with what others would deem inferior.

Then came the demons. Although at the time, they were not called as such.

Fear and a lack of bravery poured into these creatures, all of which the Queen had felt before but never believed she could explain to the universe.

The dark elves and light elves were created as a result of the Queen's pensiveness and ancient wisdom. Seldom did her own race understand it themselves, so she thought to bring it up in these new beings. Beings who would be encouraged to think deeply.

The elves' separation occurred millenniums later, when the light elves became more influenced by their surrounding realms and the dark elves were determined to stay with their own traditions.

Whether the Queen knew eventually that this would occur, is anybody's guess.

Asgardians and Vanaheims burst out of the Queen's frustration and conflicted leadership. One could never coexist with the other, and she hoped these two races might one day find equilibrium for such emotions.

The Frost Giants were created from the Queen's loneliness when in the presence of her own race. She hoped one day they could trust others enough to not feel such a gap inside their souls.

Over time, however, the Frost Giant's loneliness shifted into hostility and rage - an unforseen side effect.

Finally, the Queen began manifestation of a race of beings who would reflect her own imperfections. Her own fears. Her own rage. Her own happiness. Her own desires. A race that could feel as she felt without holding back.

The humans of Midgard.

And when all of these individuals she created, began to die, she called upon the first who was taken into this underworld, Hel, and proclaimed him the guide to those wandering souls.

The universe did not understand the creation of such a diverse group of beings. But, the Queen stood by her decision, chin proud, and claimed that to destroy all she'd assembled would mean to destroy herself. Every being was as a part of her as she was of them.

Always understanding, the universe demanded only one thing of the Queen. Because she was the creator, the Alpha and the Omega, she was to watch over them all, along with those in her realm. Establish the peace that the universe knew would eventually be displaced within individuals molded out of such flaming emotions.

The Queen agreed, not really understanding what her creations would eventually become. The greatness in store for them, and the tragic events to come.

Even on my realm, how the new Queen is chosen, still remains a mystery. I know that we gather in the city square every five years, awaiting the current Queen's word. She either declines her position and chooses the next one from an undefinable source, or says the next five years belong to her.

No Queen has ever dared stay longer than desired. There are ways to oust her, but this has never happened before. Which is funny cause you'd think a race who prides intelligence above all else, would enjoy the powers the universe offers to an unhealthy degree.

But every Queen has stepped down when the time came.

If my parent's stories are true, how could one even begin to compare to the massive being that was the original Queen? She held the courage to create her own races based out of the emotions that made her up. She turned those emotions into something so ingrained within a person that to deny its existence would be sheer idiocy. She embraced the good and evil in a person's soul, and continued watching over her creations with undying love and patience.

Like what I try so hard to do.

Shaking my head, I let my eyes travel back to the darkness seeping into the city below.

I felt one with it because of the millenniums our race spent keeping to the shadows.

Every now and again, however, the street lamps offer a tempting chance to step out from that darkness. And at times, it's difficult not to wonder what life would be like were others aware of us.

Despite myself, because my thoughts are simply running away with me like a wild horse, I lifted one hand above and twirled it languidly in the air. Again, my fingers tremble with a buzzing anticipation. The only type of anticipation one holds when such an extreme amount of power is gravitating toward them.

How about tonight, we see a little less darkness and a tad bit more light?

With an excited leap, I padded over to the window and sealed my eyes on to the stormy clouds above. Although nature obeys no one, it does leave room for requests.

And to my intense joy, tonight, mine was earning a careful consideration.

Only seconds passed by before the clouds began to part and with a tug involving all fingers, stars previously non-existent to the city of Los Angeles, slowly poked out like sleepy, milky eyes to the residents below.

The amount of concentration I focused on this task, I assure you, is not over exaggerated.

Every limb inside me, burned. But not like they lingered over a pit of hell. Instead, like the starlight was blasting through me in a full fledged awakening.

My breaths nearly died altogether and my body temperature shot up to a level easily meaning death for any human.

But even through these disabilities, I beckoned the stars closer with both index fingers. And like puppets on strings, the stars shifted on over.

Of course I'm not literally moving the stars. Such a task could prove cataclysmic.

Instead, I illuminate them to shine in a way they have never done so before. And with the deep burn in my limbs, I usher away all of the smog the city had lay dormant beneath.

If one was to glance up at this very minute, as I did with entranced awe, they would see something vacant from those skies for a good century.

**Stars** shining over Los Angeles. And not the ones falsely portrayed in the media.

The beauty alone caused shivers to fly through me. And desperately, I hoped some other being was getting just as much wonder out of the display as I was.

"Fascinating!"

I immediately ceased in my movements, hairs on the back of my neck standing to full attention as my spine stiffened. My joy seeped out like water through the crack of a dam.

That voice most definitely did _not_ come from outside.

With my luck, it's probably the landlady.

But the voice held the same awe I internally hoped the residents of Los Angeles felt. Which meant the landlady was out.

When no other word came, I slowly turned back to the sound of the voice.

Just to find myself alone.

And this split second distraction was monumental.

Suddenly, the energy began draining out of me like a vacuum pulling in debris. The stars, I was sure, no longer brought on that extra glow. The clouds were on their way back to their former positions. And the dirtiness of the atmosphere crept back in like a silent burglar in the night. All within a few short seconds.

Scanning the area, I couldn't help but feel dismayed. Really, the timing was horrible.

The voice, though. That sounded irritatingly familiar.

Which made me wonder who else could get in and out of my apartment without leaving a trace of their stay.

Because the voice most certainly was not a liberal part of my imagination, nor the slight shift in temperature of the room, a daily occurrence.

Loki.

Re-scanning the entire living room, my eyes, unfortunately, could pick out nothing awaring me of Loki's intentions.

He had just stood there. Hell, I don't even know how long. Watching. Had the chance to kill me.

But watched me instead.

Then, it hit me.

I just basically showcased another ability. Of course he was going to observe it as long as he could.

But damn it all if he could just waltz right into my apartment whenever he pleased!

"If you're listening," I bellowed, knowing he most likely wasn't, "the next time you come in here uninvited, I'm sending you through my window."

No answer.

Forcing back a growl, I grabbed the end of the sofa that had previously been a haven for me, and dragged it back across the room. Suddenly, city gazing had lost its appeal.

TLOTLOTLOTLO

When ten o'clock signaled itself on a nearby digital clock, something quite nifty actually since we used only the positions of the stars to determine time, a knock on the door sprang through my apartment.

Curiously, I shuffled over and placed a timid hand upon the wooden structure. Although, I did know for sure that Gods certainly didn't knock politely, it never hurt to be overly cautious. Especially with S.H.I.E.L.D.'s interest in me being brought to light.

Seconds later, my former guess was confirmed.

"Lucy? It's Jonathon."

Relaxing, I pulled open the knob, perplexed at what my neighbor wanted so late in the night. I always held the belief he was an early riser and an early sleeper. No breaking through that regime.

But apparently I had underestimated him.

The man stood there, sheepish and shy as always. A brown rain coat hung lazily off his form and I could tell from his twitching that the night had provided him a hell of a beating. Courtesy of Loki's dramatic reorganization of downtown Los Angeles.

"Are you alright?" I questioned on instinct, taking in his shivering form.

Jonathon tried to smile, but his nerves ate it away.

"You're not going to believe this. I-I can't get into my apartment."

A laugh spilled out of my throat before I could think to subdue it. But apparently, that's what Jonathon was going for because he was grinning as soon as I did it.

"Glad you see the irony. Mind if I use your phone to call our favorite landlady?"

"Of course not," I said, ushering him in.

He breathed out his thanks, shuffling to the phone with arms wrapped tightly around himself.

"I've got some soup I can reheat in the refrigerator," I offered.

"Yeah, that'd be great."

As he plucked away at the telephone, I proceeded to do just as I had promised. Thank Goodness I carry at least 50 cans at all times. Honestly, the first seven months were only manageable because of the fantastic food.

The man was done exactly as the microwave proclaimed the soup to be fully heated.

"Here you go."

I carefully set the steaming bowl on the opposite chair from me; the one Thor had occupied only hours previously.

"Thanks," he sniffled, downing two spoonfuls immediately.

Watching Jonathon eat quickly became an enchanting activity. While normally so meek and reserved, the man's prowess truly escaped when he was in the presence of Campbell's Chicken Noodle Soup. He devoured the soup like a bibliophile devours novels.

"Hey!" Jonathon suddenly exclaimed, dunking the spoon back into the empty bowl, "did you see the stars about an hour ago? I didn't even know with all of the light pollution, that Los Angeles could get such magnificent reception."

My smile was immediate.

"Absolutely! Probably one of the most beautiful things I've seen since I've gotten here."

Jonathon beamed, eyes falling over my form.

For just the briefest of seconds, the brown in his eyes darkened when flying over my neck.

I'm sure he did this accidentally, and his blush soon indicated this.

I forgot to mention that at this point, I was still in my bathrobe. I mean who would want to leave the comforts of such a lavish design? If not made of fabric, surely it was made of clouds.

But his stare sent all sorts of hot shivers through me. Shivers I didn't feel in the presence of those in my own realm. Shivers that made me think perhaps the robe was a bit too much to wear. The first GOOD shivers I'd gotten on Earth.

Honestly, I sometimes cursed my virgin thoughts!

"I'm sorry. That was rude of me. Eying you like some pervert when you just fed and sheltered me."

Ah, and so we are back to the shy, meek man.

Strangely enough, his proclamation deflated some hidden hope inside me. Hope I wasn't aware I held.

Thinking over the movies I'd seen since on the planet, I stood from the table and ventured into the living room. But not before mentioning in the best, Marilyn Monroe I think is her name, voice-

"Eye away, pervert boy."

And maybe my words weren't written by Shakespeare or Austen or Bronte, but you couldn't really blame my lack of fluency. I was new to this sudden build up of sexual tension inside me.

In fact, I took the time to wonder as I sashayed across the living room, if these feelings were present all along the time I had spent with Jonathon and I just didn't acknowledge them for what they were.

Why else would a man jump at the chance of making a meal anyway?

Then again, the customs of human interaction were still almost as foreign as my realm, especially since they changed daily.

How could I know the right words to say?

Apparently, I didn't scare away Jonathon with my proclamation as much as I thought I had. Minutes later, a cool, clammy hand slid itself into my palm.

"Could I confess something?"

Ignoring the quake inside my legs, I turned to him with a smile.

At this point, my lips could have cracked in half, I was so anxiously happy. I know an overabundance of smiling can seem unattractive, but to frown at such a time of intense bliss jumbling around inside me was nearly impossible.

"What?" I asked softly, chocolate brown eyes squinting to take in his still so boyish features.

"I didn't lose the key to my apartment."

It took a 30 second stare for me to finally understand what he meant.

"Oh."

And then again.

"Did I miss the signs?" I quickly wondered.

"Sort of," Jonathon admitted, brushing the back of his wet locks. "Actually, I almost thought it was a European thing, not to notice flirtation attempts. And you are beautiful. You probably had guys lining up at your door, asking you out."

This thought was so preposterous that I barked out a loud - surely unattractive - laugh. And continued when Jonathon's cheeks spread over with a cherry blush.

"Sorry," I trailed off. "That's just...does that really happen?"

"I guess not. But I would be honored to be the first man."

I bit at my lip, weighing the pros and cons.

"I can't guarantee this will mean anything tomorrow."

And this was something I wanted to get across right away. Even in my blindest fantasies, I could not forget that Jonathon was mortal. Tragically so when you consider life spans.

A relationship he most likely had in mind, would be impossible. Especially with a woman who according to text books from any library's history on an abundance of realms, was not supposed to exist.

Try explaining that one to the parents at family dinner!

But then again, participating in a relationship just for the sex seemed to carry promises just as empty.

"That's okay," Jonathon assured, grabbing my opposite hand. "Friends with benefits?"

Unsure what the term meant, I nodded my head.

Just before he ushered me into the bedroom, I did stop him.

"It's been awhile."

Actually, there's never really been a first time. But I don't know if mortal boys like knowing that. Do they?

"For me too. But we've got all night to get it right."

And with his guiding arms and resilient gaze, I let him lead me away.

TLOTLOTLOTLO

As Jonathon's breaths spilled out like a rhino, I know, I know, not the most attractive similarity post-sexual encounter, I carefully squirmed out of bed.

The entire time, my partner laid stiff as a board, but vibrant as an animal. The noises spewing out of his mouth really could make for an entertaining evening of audible listening.

Wincing, I brought out a hand before me, eyes gradually adjusting to the dim room.

Baby steps now, c'mon, baby steps.

The reason for such caution?

Besides the dim room and my disregard for wanting to find my clothes scattered in meticulous corners, my erm...lady parts kind of...hurt a bit.

I'll admit right away that sex wasn't a primary concern for me back on my realm. Just as I had mentioned before, I wasn't interest in having a man by my side. Thus, the thought of having a relationship never entered my mind.

Of course I was aware of what went on.

Although normally respectable, staff from my palace did mention sex as being one of the most pleasurable encounters they've ever experienced.

So a part of me, after hearing this declaration, always remained discreetly excited for the first time. Which if you were aware of my age, I fear you might laugh at how long I've gone without the physical contact.

Now that I finally had sex, with a man who was nothing but loving during the procedure, I felt kind of...empty? I don't know if that's the right term for it.

He certainly enjoyed it. Repeated his love for me enough times.

But when his release came...well let's just say, he failed to take me along for the ride. Which my staff informed me, the females in particular, that this was the best part of the entire experience.

I didn't say anything to Jonathon, of course, after he released. The quivering of his lip, fluttering of his eyes, and low moan indicated he'd been a bit preoccupied himself. And I just lied through my teeth when he glanced over at me expectantly. Really, I was more unsure of what just happened and if it was over.

When he passed out shortly after, I slid out of the bed.

And with unquenchable desire still rumbling through me, the pangs in my nether regions pulsing away from my first time, I silently stalked through my bedroom in the nude, wanting to escape the disappointment I couldn't help but feel. Without waking the man responsible for it.

Hopefully, you can understand why such baby steps were needed to exceed caution.

Quietly, I squeezed the door shut to my bedroom and fumbled for the kitchen light switch.

Maybe saving the sex for another decade wasn't a bad idea. Especially if I end up feeling as empty as I do now. And sore. Jonathon sure didn't have a problem with stamina.

Chortling softly, my fingers wrapped around the switch and flicked up.

I nearly screamed aloud at the figure standing in my kitchen.

"What the hell are you doing here?" I squeaked, taking in Loki. Who just stood by my table like he owned it.

Of course it was when he properly observed me, that I realized I was still in the nude. All frontal, baby.

But for some reason, this didn't nearly concern me as much as his presence. Yet again, for the second time in just a few hours, he was inside my apartment. Without my knowledge.

The first time, it had been okay because I knew he was there. I could keep an eye on him. Know his plans.

These past two times were frustrating because he crept around when I wasn't near. Sneaky. Mischievous. Making me incredibly nervous of the information he was silently learning about me.

"How goes your seduction with the little boy?" Loki asked boredly, eyes still roaming over the flesh I refused to cover up.

If I could be naked in front of my staff at the palace who gossiped constantly amongst themselves, I can be naked in front of the God of Mischief.

"Fantastic!" I mocked his earlier words, blinking away the brief flash of pain taking a step brought me.

My kitchen was normal temperature, but as always, when Loki was present, the atmosphere seemed to drop down a few degrees. Nonchalantly, I crossed my arms over my chest.

"Had I known the mortal interested you, I would have killed him earlier in the day."

And still, the God's eyes had yet to travel back to my face.

"Oh. Well, thank you for not doing that. He was extraordinary."

This time, my lie couldn't quite come out convincing enough. And this was when Loki finally glanced up to meet my eyes.

Then, he let out a quiet laugh.

"I do not know what to find more amusing. The little boy's selfishness or your barely concealed dissatisfaction."

Clenching my jaw, and still wanting to defend Jonathon's honor despite his less than fluent bedroom moves, I ventured a step closer to him.

"Like you could do better?" I challenged.

Really, and I want to stress this, I had no idea what kind of emotion my words would evoke. It was said out of frustration and a tad bit of exactly what Loki had mentioned.

Dissatisfaction.

Immediately, the God's demeanor changed. No longer did his eyes scan. They remained focused on my own chocolate brown. A smirk shot up after a second. Even his body seemed to be poised a tad straighter.

"I have broken women into pieces, and they've still crawled back for more."

Unsure what to say of the proclamation, I lifted an eyebrow.

"Is that supposed to impress me?"

A silent confusion spread over Loki's features, until his green eyes suddenly lit up.

"Do not tell me he was your first."

It's funny how you can scream at your body not to do something, and it still refuses to listen.

The blush spread like a plague, quickly turning my pale features into a tomato.

"He was," the man marveled, smirk refusing to squander down. "I almost feel as if you are in need of my sympathy."

Embarrassed, and slightly on the verge of all out humiliated, I took in a calm breath.

It was obvious he was attempting to bait me. Perhaps to show another ability? Or just to lash out so he could have probable reason to use violence against me.

Whatever his intentions were, I knew even as the thunderous thoughts charged through me, the best thing I could do was remain patient, calm, and confident. These were a Queen's tools in her arsenal.

Still, this didn't come without great, internal struggle.

Somehow, I managed it though.

Throwing on a relaxed grin, I blinked. And with this blink, his chides materialized away.

"Have you talked to your brother yet?"

As soon as I said the words, I knew it was the best possible retort I could have offered.

Loki's features fell and there was a brutish anger mingled within his soulless eyes at having lost the upper hand.

"Never," he all but spat.

Shrugging, I brought a hand out before me and studied the cuticles.

"You know, I was never concerned about my nails before. Long or short, I couldn't care less. But the longer I spend on Earth, the more I seem to care about them. Tell me...is this the first sign of vanity?"

My brown eyes shifted over to the God, wanting to defuse the situation lightly.

"Do not engage me in mindless talk."

Again, I couldn't help but smile. Which was odd. So very few men ever made me smile and the ones that did, did so in unorthodox ways.

"Okay. Then I'll get to my second round of business. Stop lurking around inside my apartment."

"You know what I want," he dealt back.

"And you know my terms and conditions. My offer still stands about throwing you out of a window."

"Like you could," he quipped softly.

Apparently, he didn't mean for this to be heard. But I did, and something in me barked in frustration.

"Loki, the boy of two realms. The God who has so many loved ones reaching out, but his madness denies him the right to see this. Loki, Loki, Loki," I repeated, seemingly in a daze.

The man himself stared at me, eyes wide. I didn't blame him.

The tone of my voice suddenly sounded centuries more ancient. In fact, even the way I stared up above me, unnerved me in a way. It was very...uncharacteristic as I tended to enjoy eye contact when speaking.

"I assure you of this, God who claims to have women crawling back to him after having broken them, what I could do to you does not even exist in the realm of your imagination. You talk loudly, hide behind your beautiful features, plot and deceive like Cassius. But none of this interests me. What interests me, lonely boy, is how greatly you wish to remain bitter and cold despite the circumstances of redemption besieging you. You have the chance to ease your sorrow, and yet you blindly lash out at a race who has nothing to do with your anger. You bully Thor away, convincing yourself of his lack of understanding. He is your brother whether you choose to accept this or not. Fate has brought you together. And seldom, my dear Loki, does fate do this without a reason."

Blinking, I released a long breath, falling back into myself.

Wait...did I just call him my dear Loki?

Still a bit shaken up at the sudden intuition regarding the God, I glanced up, hoping the words didn't implant anger back on to the God's features. Honestly, he was far more handsome, and I do not mean this in any other way but admiration, when he did not have anger chipped away in his features.

Instead, Loki's eyes had taken on an alien, wild look.

And once more, he asked, this time, with a frustrating curiosity.

"What. Are. You? How could you brighten the stars without moving?"

I planned on shrugging and providing him the repeated 'What are you talking about, I'm human!' defense, when a voice interrupted from behind me.

"Lucy?"

So enamored with the conversation, I hadn't noticed Jonathon's reappearance from within my bedroom. Or the horror frozen in impeccable perfection on his face at the sight of me, nude, before who he thought to be my jealous ex-boyfriend, Lyle.

And then Loki got the great idea to expel a force of intense energy from his own hand, knocking it viciously into Jonathon's half naked form.

The man bounced off the bedroom door like a rag-doll, falling out of conscious frighteningly fast.

"What was that for?" I yelled, glancing angrily between the God and Jonathon's still form.

"If you do not give me back my staff, I promise his death to be immediate next time," Loki warned.

Guess what he did next?

C'mon. He's done it before. Every single time he feels like he's losing a confrontation.

Yep, you guessed it.

Gone with the wind.

And left me to explain to the first man I...consummated with...what the hell just happened.

Because weren't we on the verge of touching down on some ground, when the God regressed back to a pouting rugrat? Really, I thought I had gotten to him. At least a tiny bit. Enough so that he could begin to wonder whether pushing his own brother away, or more like beating, was really beneficial.

Sighing, I pressed two fingers to my opposite temples. A rumbling headache greeted the tips of my fingers.

No one said being Queen was easy, but honestly, couldn't my predecessors have written some manual?

But even the manual would be invalid. I was trekking on completely new territory.

Earth.

And I had involved myself with a headache of a vicious feud that I couldn't seem to leave alone. Involuntarily, I already was immersed within the two brothers in my own way, constantly catching glimpses of the pain which had the chance to heal properly, but stubbornness blockaded any attempt.

These were my own decisions, and with what I had learned in life, a solution would have to be met.

It _will_ be met. I'm not leaving this planet until Loki and Thor are walking hand and hand down a sidewalk.

Well...maybe not quite that chummy.

But peace would be restored, if not to heal their personal darkness, then to protect the residents of Earth.

And people like Jonathon whose panic at seeing downtown Los Angeles nearly destroyed, results in them craving comfort and providing half hearted sex to their neighbors. Which funnily enough, I only just discovered as I took in my neighbor's unconscious form.

I think I'm finally getting this Earth logic down.

* * *

**Cassius is a reference to Shakespeare's The Tragedy of Julius Caesar and obviously the actual man who plotted Caesar's death without getting his hands dirty himself. Also, I hope the dialogue wasn't too atrocious. I think that was my weak point. And, if you felt like Lucy and Jonathon getting together was a bit...awkward, it was meant to be...sort of. Lucy only holds the knowledge of a 7 month stay on Earth, of what sex entitles between humans. Sure, she knows what it is, but seduction, flirtation, and actually being pleasured, remains a bit foreign to her. So the whole "Eye me anytime, pervert boy" was supposed to make you cringe because she doesn't know what to say to reel him in. She's never done so before. Jonathon's interest is very sudden, or so she thinks. And because I'm kind of an idiot and couldn't think of a fresh new face for Jonathon, please imagine, if you've seen the movie Batman Begins with Mr. Christina Bale. Instead, I want you to focus on Cillian Murphy's character, also named Jonathon, who plays the Scarecrow. This is basically the physical features I've adopted for my character, Jonathon. Let me know your thoughts, good or bad, in a review!**


	5. Black Hearts and Revelations

**Of course I went and saw the Avengers. Fantastic, fantastic movie. Primarily, I was wiping away my own drool in the movie theater each time I gazed at Loki. Holy hell was he troubled and crazy and snarky and sarcastic and in need of a hug and in need of a punch and beautiful as all heavens. So, so enamored the entire film that I nearly missed altogether, the plot. And funnily enough, the movie did try to have Thor reconnect with his brother. Actually, it was very reminiscent of Doctor Who and the relationship between the Doctor and the Master. How the Doctor constantly tries to save the Master, despite all of the evil he's done, because he loves him so. Again, great movie. My favorite scene probably had to be when Loki blended into that party in Germany, then went totally batshit crazy. Anywho, I'll stop rambling. Except, I do have to mention this as well. Someone hinted to me that they want this to be a slash story. It will not be one, I'll say right away. That wasn't my intention when I began it, and as I'm moving along, it's still not my intention, not that I have a problem with slash. Thor and Loki's reunion and settling of feelings is purely brotherly. Long chapter coming up, and some more facts coming to light about "Lucy." Thank you so very, very much for the reviews. ESPECIALLY, tainted angel. My heart does abnormal things when I read your review. Just, thank you. Enjoy.**

* * *

**Chapter 5 – Black Hearts and Revelations**

To my incredible luck, when Jonathan awoke the next morning, bruise the size of California protruding from the back of his head; he didn't remember a single thing.

By this point I was dressed appropriately, and I had taken the consideration to dress him as well. I'd hope if I were ever in the reversed situation, he'd do the same.

"What happened?" he had asked, rubbing a hand through his thick mane of hazel hair.

Noting immediately the confusion rolling off him in waves, I sighed internally.

"Knocked on my door last night," I'd replied nonchalantly. "Said you lost your apartment key. I think you were a bit drunk, but I can't be sure. Fed you some soup, but I couldn't catch you when you passed out in the middle of my kitchen."

Throughout this time, I made sure to keep an innocent expression on my features. He wasn't a complete idiot.

But Jonathan believed the story without too much of a fuss. Although he did argue halfheartedly that he never drank excessively.

To which I tugged him over and rubbed at the back of his head pointedly with a sly grin.

"Sleep it off, big guy."

The man then proceeded to thank me, wrapping me into a cocoon hug like I was a close family member.

The same shivers still lingered inside, but no longer were they eager to possess my body. Instead, Jonathan was forever labeled a friend in my mind.

Although before he had left, I did ask him something I was curious about. Something he'd mentioned the night before, even though he'd have no recollection of it.

"What is a friend with benefits?"

He itched the back of his head, flinching when his fingers rammed into the bruise.

"Are you trying to hint at something?"

"No, just curious."

Still unsure, it had taken Jonathan a few careful minutes before he replied.

"It's...where two friends have sex with each other just for the physical contact. They promise each other not to get involved emotionally or mentally."

When he asked again why I wanted to know, I only shrugged like the innocent neighbor I was, the same one he would never remember having sex with.

Only when Jonathan left did I sprint into the bathroom. Not because I had to go, but because there were a multitude of questions I needed answers to and the longer I had thought them over after Loki's departure, the heavier they weighed down on me. In fact, they were the reason my mood turned so swiftly from pensive to disgruntled.

Once inside the bathroom, I jumped into the shower and closed the glass door behind me. This was supposed to guarantee me privacy from the world, and from Loki himself. Who I didn't think would ever find anything of interest in the bathroom. Although with his recent sneakiness, I couldn't be quite sure.

Shaking my hands, I leaned back on the damp wall and breathed out slowly. In my head, I visualized where I wanted to be.

A crystal blue with a transparent tint of marmalade pink swerved through my mind, and as the picture became clearer, stars and rocks materializing into view, I felt my body shudder. Not unpleasantly, but the way a body does when in the process of teleportation.

Which if you haven't ever experienced, is actually quite exotic. Imagine all of your organs with tiny hairs on the outside, like cilia. Then imagine these hairs moving back and forth like a wave of hands. Tickling nearby entrails and speeding up the clearer your view becomes of your destination.

The only down part was the breathing.

It had to be a rhythmic 1-2-3-1-2-2-3. For every 1, you inhaled. For the 2, you exhaled. And the 3, back to inhaling. Holding on to this pattern along with making sure nothing else blocked the concentration you had on appearing at the location, made for a tricky, yet intense experience.

All of our realm's residents could teleport, but I was the only one allowed to do so without limit. Which I had my position as Queen to thank for that. The universe allowed this access to energy.

Few even left our realm, however, so teleporting really wasn't regarded as something to be envious of. Why would the citizens leave a realm of peace for a land of war?

My concentration nearly broke altogether when a stray drop of uncondensed water flew from the ceiling and flung itself against my heated skin. And I assure you when your concentration is THAT focused, the tiniest of brushes, touches, even movements, feels amplified to an unimaginably tense level.

But before the cold drop could knock off my concentration, I felt the familiar tug in my body. First beginning in the belly button area, then slowly spreading into two different directions. Like weather fronts.

In only a matter of seconds, I had ventured far away from Earth and was on my way home.

TLOTLOTLOTLO

Upon arrival, I was happy to notice the palace hadn't changed much.

Clatia had much of the same traditional tastes as I did. Fiery, auric walls. Terrestrial brown tiles. Portrait of every Queen from present time to the beginning of it. Even the juicy, royal purple pears from the city market could be found in fruit bowls spaced around the palace.

"Hello?" I called.

The room I'd teleported into was where the residents of the palace ate and converged, aka, the dining hall. Also, it made for a fantastic space for private discussion as every doorway contained an invisible sound barrier, making the gossip undetectable to any eavesdropper passing by.

My voice vibrated off the ascending walls, drowning my gut in the emptiness. The dining hall was NEVER this empty.

In fact, normally at least one palace member patrolled the dining hall. If not to perfect an untidy spot, then to share news of the day with others.

But now, standing inside the vacant room was like taking shelter within a void. No sound, no bodies, and no signs of life.

"Hello?"

This time, I knocked down the sound barrier implemented within the doorways like popping a pimple. Usually, they weren't up unless a multitude of people were within the dining hall.

Something is off.

But before I could pin point the source of my unease, a portly body entered the room. Their eyebrows were focused into two sharp angles slanted down and their jaw clenched and unclenched every so often.

"What is it?" the man mumbled, preoccupied with his waist. A robe wrapped like a lazy hand around his midsection and no matter how much he fumbled with the cloth, it wouldn't support the robust belly he was sprouting.

"Eramus."

Immediately, the pudgy fingers stilled.

And then slowly, like an infant's lungs breathing in life for the first time, the man's balding head tilted up, eyes wide in disbelief.

"By god, you really are here. Tis not a part of my imagination!" Eramus exclaimed, taking careful steps toward me.

"I am glad I have followed you into such a beautiful place," I quipped back, grinning at his glee.

My first meeting with the man Eramus came upon the day I took my duty as Queen.

Knowing how uncomfortable the title of Queen was to me at that point, he made it a habit of calling me by my real name. To ground me and provide a comfort I did not think many Queens were entitled to.

The man also held an incredibly explorable mindset and backed a great number of decisions I'd made even when I wasn't sure of them myself.

When all Eramus did was stare, I shuffled toward him and opened my arms.

He embraced me within seconds, arms gripped tight around me.

"I have missed you very much," he said, releasing me from the tight hold a minute later.

"I am sorry I have been gone so long," I apologized, thumb trailing over his cheek. This was our own personal sentiment toward one another. A sign of deep respect and admiration. "Know that it wasn't to intentionally abandon my position."

Eramus shook his head vehemently, whatever left of his thin, wispy hair, blowing with him.

"I never believed your intent was to abandon. I know personally that everyone inside the palace will be overjoyed to hear the tales of Midgard you have to offer."

And then he wrapped one hand around my wrist and began to lightly drag me out of the dining hall.

I knew Eramus was excited to have me back. And in the way his shoulders suddenly seemed less inclined to hunch over, I would even garner a guess of relief.

Having served multiple Queens, he'd privately confessed to me once that I was among his favorite to instruct. And although I believe he whispered those kind words into the open ear of each Queen before me, the man at least acted out of warm compassion.

Which was when I remembered I had to state my reason for traveling back before he could alert anyone else to my presence. The less individuals who were aware I was home, the easier attaining the information I seeked would be.

"Eramus-."

"-staff was worried. Clatia, sweetheart she is, doesn't have your...flair-."

"-Eramus-."

"-perhaps worried a bit, but understandable-."

"Eramus!"

My voice jumped up a full octave, forcing my companion's feet to still immediately beneath the tile.

With wide, translucent gray eyes, Eramus turned to me.

"I am sorry, my Que-."

"Eramus," I tried again, much softer. "I understand your urgency at hearing everything, but I must inform you that my stay here is temporary. There are matters I must discuss with Mettelicius."

And this would not be a good conversation, I could almost guarantee.

Mettelicius was the second in charge to the eight member council of our realm. The same council I had mentioned earlier whose one of many duties included surveying over the Gelida Spelunca.

Irritably short tempered and known for his notoriously indifferent views toward beings from other realms, the man had never completely trusted my leadership. Even when the council's purpose was to obey whatever actions the Queen put forth, provided they were sane and made with the benefits of others in mind.

Eramus frowned, the wrinkles around his lips indenting like rivers into a valley.

"May I mention something first?"

"You know you may, Eramus. Speak your mind."

"Mettelicius is not-," he gulped, taking me in cautiously, "overtly thrilled right now with you."

Surprised, I didn't move for a moment, pondering over the new information. Which shouldn't surprise me. The man found incredibly vain details about me to dislike.

"You are aware," I began, "of the hole torn in the Frost Giant's realm?"

"Yes, yes," he waved away, eyes attempting to reveal something far more important. "And everyone is aware of the way you handled the situation. Not only defusing the Frost Giants from raiding Midgard, but seeing logic despite the dwarfs accidental invasion of their lands. I will praise you now for I am doubting whether I will get the chance to in the remainder of time you wish to spend here. Most certainly one of your finest moments, although difficult to believe you ever had a treacherous one. But never that mind now. While your reasoning further impressed the council, Mettelicius pointed out that the tear was your fault. I am not aware of the details, but I would like to be informed. He is spreading ill thoughts about you as we speak and I wish to defend you if you are to leave again."

All of the words plowed into me like rush hour on a Los Angeles afternoon. Being withdrawn from my world really made me forget the responsibilities assigned to me in my own.

"I was simply attempting to thank Thor for his bravery on severing the bridge from Asgard to Midgard," I defended. "Traveling to Earth, my intentions were to provide clues in the rebuilding of the bridge. Once this task was completed, I had hoped Thor would embrace the life he left behind as well as the woman."

Eramus sighed, one hand rubbing at sleepy eye.

"No wonder Mettelicius is furious. You disregarded his command."

And as soon as he voiced this, the ancient man stilled, eyes squinting shut in regret.

"I did not mean to imply you were-."

"The council exists to help me carry out peace across the realms," I reminded, the tiniest bit insulted at Eramus's quick judgment of my actions. And this only reaffirmed that events I, myself had put into action, changed the perception of once close friends of mine. I knew now that things were different here, even if I couldn't quite grasp on to the source of this change.

"They follow _my _commands. Not the other way around. I have no qualms against listening to their suggestions, but ultimately, going to Earth was my choice. One I had approval from the universe itself"

Eramus nodded, apologies slipping out of his lips like raindrops from a storm cloud.

"Nevermind them," I brushed off, forgiving him instantly. "The reason Mettelicius is not the happiest with me is because excess energy from the rebuilding of the bridge was used to tear open a hole in Jotunheim. Unaware of this, the dwarfs ventured into a bloodbath. And because I was the reason this bridge was rebuilt, I am the reason for the deaths of their people."

"Do not think in such a distressful way."

"But it is true," I insisted, wanting to bring my faults to the light.

Because when I did have time to properly think it over, sometime after I had clothed Jonathan, I knew it were my actions that had led to the unlawful slayings. And I knew I had to accept them with whatever hefty guilt accompanied. If I could never admit my faults, how could I possibly help others with their own?

"It would seem that my presence before the council now would be unwise?"

Eramus offered a regretful nod.

"Until Mettelicius calms down a bit."

"So I must ask, then, provided you know the answer. Is the hole sealed in Jotunheim?"

"It is. Although tensions were high when the dwarf's found out of their slayed brothers. However, they helped eagerly, if not in a manner of deterring themselves from responding, in sealing the portal. The less they do with Jotunheim, the better."

Releasing a sharp breath, I felt tension slipping out of my shoulders with a languid gentleness. At least that business was taken care of.

"This has been troubling you?" he inquired patiently.

"More than you know," I admitted, voicing my concerns from the few hours during the night I spent pondering them. "My theory could have been wrong and another senseless war would be ignited once again, being my fault completely. Or worse. The hole would never have been brought to attention and may have forced the two realms into one. I cannot say that the two race's would have survived this unified morphing."

"You are kind hearted to think in such a way."

"It is my job," I said, surprised at the admiration in his voice. "Weren't all Queens constantly observing everything from every which angle?"

"Not all would have cared enough to risk the exposure of what they were."

This time, I couldn't read the emotion behind Eramus's statement. And this unnerved me. How many friends had I _really_ lost in the time I was gone?

"Where is Clatia?" I asked, remembering my friend and stand in Queen.

Please, let her still be in the mindset from which I left her with. I cannot afford anymore hostility. Especially not when there is Loki's to deal with.

"I will fetch her."

Before I could argue, Eramus fled the room without another word.

TLOTLOTLOTLO

As soon as Clatia's soft feed padded into the dining hall, I bolted to her and embraced her with all of the strength I could muster. And while uncommonly short for my race, my strength decieved my physical characteristics.

"I missed you so much," I mumbled into her honey-gold hair, feeling her arms tighten in reply.

"And I you," she solemnly whispered, pulling away. "You have missed much, but have still managed to establish what our realm was first created for. This, I fear, is something I would have never been able to do. You were magnificent."

"Stop-."

"You were. Forget whatever trivial grudge Mettelicius bares upon you. Know that you acted out of what a true Queen should. Humble and with uncorrupted pride."

The words soaked into me like liquid rays of a sun, heating the darkness my heart insisted I held on to.

"I am supposed to bring about peace. How is it that my good intention brought the deaths of six beings? All innocent, all unaware of the short span of their lives."

Clatia's pink lips twitched, the way they always did when I pointed out the negatives in my plans.

"No being is innocent from the call of war. Their axes had probably gleamed with the blood of hundreds of beings even before their deaths. And think it this way. If the Frost Giants had entered their land, would they be as merciful? I think not."

My lips still refused to ascend.

"I am not stating that their deaths were good or meant to happen," she recanted. "But I am telling you that your guilt should not be so great when you only attempted to help."

"I wish I could see it this way."

Clatia led me over to the mattress and with no protest from myself, pulled me down to sit.

"There is something that troubles you," she noted gently, black pupils darting over my face. "Something that has magnified your guilt into what it is now. Not to say you normally disregard someone's death. But these deaths are weighing down on you uncharacteristically harsh."

Smiling without humor, I met my friend's eyes weakly. And the expression she took in must have set her off balance for shortly after, one hand immediately found mine.

"Tell me," she insisted.

"I need to know first what your opinion of me is. Before my trip to Earth, I would have not thought twice about it. But things are different here now, aren't they? I need to know what things have been like. How your position has gone."

Stroking my backhand with an index finger, Clatia glanced away for a moment.

"You hold an unheard of ability."

These words were certainly not the ones I expected to hear.

"Clatia-."

"Stop and listen for once, you silly girl," she commanded softly, meeting my brown eyes. "However it is you do so, the peace established under your rule of just three years, holds the potential to be eternal. I know not of why I think this way, but instead, I end up feeling it on nights I've watched over the universe. Content and serenity throughout all of the realms. Unlike any even within our own realm which I find is becoming far more secretive than usual. Even the palace has ears it has never revealed before."

"You are saying things were well initially?"

"Yes. And you know if they were not and I could not handle them, I would have called for you without hesitation."

"Of course," I nodded, tightening my hold on her.

"It was only in the past month that Mettelicius's envy has spread to some truly repulsive rumors."

"Such as?"

"Such as your permanent abandonment of our realm so you could live a vain, lavish lifestyle with the even vainer humans of Midgard."

My mouth swung open, and deep within me, that same unsettling anger that had approached Loki and his army of Frost Giants, rumbled.

"Know throughout this time that I had stayed faithful to you. Even if you don't believe it, I want you to know this. And Eramus has too. Or did."

Her eyes creased in concern this time.

"What changed?" I inquired hurriedly, heart thumping a tad more frantically than it normally ran.

"Your interaction with the Gods Loki and Thor."

Confusion spread over my features at first, then bittersweet understanding.

"Does Mettelicius honestly believe I plan to expose myself to others?"

And I was damned proud of the angered disbelief in my voice.

"Not in such a bold way," she recounted. "Your display before the Frost Giants and the council learning of why you went to Midgard, have unfortunately worked against you, even if your method of settling the peace was impressive. You have stolen the weapons of two Gods. This was seen as an act of war by Mettelicius himself. However, once the council came to understand that you planned on settling the feud between the brothers in the same method in which you have ran the realms prior, their unease was not so great. Even when the Gods' curiosity followed you. I am afraid it was the hole tearing open Jotunheim and exposing them to Nidavellir, which convinced some of your abandonment."

Her words shattered something inside me. Something that had up to this point, been carefully sheltered in place.

"I would **never** abandon my home."

And the intensity of the statement forced me to my feet. My eyes were a brown pool of melted determination. My jaw was set out stubbornly, ready to slam away every accusation residents of my realm wanted to throw at me.

"I know you wouldn't," Clatia said, still sitting. "I have tried desperately to convince the council of this. And they believe me. But it seems that less do each time I come in to speak on your behalf. Even Eramus has stopped coming to show his support."

The realization that Eramus had lied to me, didn't set in for a few seconds.

Stay calm, remember. A Queen needs to be calm and confident. Even when there are forces working against her.

But damn it all if it wasn't entirely different when standing nude in front of Loki. At least the man hadn't thrown nasty quips at my body.

Ever so slowly, the anger settled down within me. Bottled, if you wish to imagine it this way.

Although, the cap was nowhere to be found.

"Clatia," I began, neutralizing my voice. "I have something to tell you. Something that puzzles me greatly and knowing what I know now of what my home is coming to be, I feel that you are the only one I can trust."

"What is it?"

The curiosity was nearly as great as my very own.

When I was sure the anger was chained down, my bottom sank back down on the mattress.

"Something odd happened to me when confronting Thor's brother, Loki. Something I can choose to dismiss, but feel like it is too abnormal to simply brush away."

"Yes?"

"I felt...unlike myself, but then again, more attuned then ever before."

At her confused gaze, I began describing how I had found the God in my kitchen. And his attempts at instigation. Until finally, I got to what I had said to him.

"They weren't unusual. I meant everything I said. But the level of knowledge I had of him for just that second, seemed more personal than ever. As if I'd observed him for years instead of days. And the way my voice sounded. It was...ancient. I couldn't make eye contact with him either. It was as if the words were being fed to me from a part of my subconscious."

Clatia's amazement didn't cease until I stopped with the tale.

"That is fascinating."

Cringing, I hid back a grimace mixed in with a grin.

"I hate that word. Fascinating."

"Get used to it because you are going to become more of it the longer you stay around the two Gods."

"I can handle their misguided curiosity. What I wonder about is the level I dived into, of myself."

Glancing around the room, Clatia stayed silent to gather her thoughts.

"You are aware that I have studied histories of the Queens throughout our realm's history?"

"Absolutely," I answered. "It's one of the reasons I was sure you would become one yourself."

"Reading about what makes a Queen is far different than acting like one when the times calls. But what you have described, I cannot find any recollection of in any of the Queen's histories I've learned. Even Queens who've been in their position for not more than five years."

I pondered over her words, one hand fighting to itch a scratch just behind my ear.

"So...this may be a personal awakening?"

"It may. Like I said, you have insight and sympathy uncanny to those of your predecessors. In fact, if I really could deem you like that of a Queen from the past, it would have to be the very first. The Alpha and Omega. The one who was created by the tumultuous universe during which its vulnerabilities were revealed ever so briefly. This is ultimately what made her so grand. Her deep understanding of herself, good and bad, as well as others. Perhaps this is a trait you've unknowingly inherited."

"Queens are not a lineage. They are picked at random. Most Queens have never even been related to another."

"No. But it would be interesting to know who your ancestors were. In my eyes, you are reminiscent of the first Queen in an abundance of ways. Perhaps long ago, your ancestors came into contact with hers. Or she mothered a child whose children were your ancestors. I cannot say with certain accuracy. But I would not deny nor fret over this awakening. It is a natural part of you. It was always meant to be brought forth, of that, destiny made sure. Now that it has, it is up to you to do what you wish with it."

Without much of a surprise, I found her words healing the worry nested within me. I wasn't sure if my initial nervousness had been the foreign way my words were twisted, or the fact that a partially demented God was the recipient of them.

"Thank you, Clatia. My words can never..._will_ never express the amount of gratitude for you."

"There's a way you can start."

"How?"

"Go back to Midgard and settle this feud between Thor and Loki. The council as well as residents of our very own realm, are somehow convinced that you would rather slumber away in that realm as opposed to bringing about peace. Prove overall, that bastard Mettelicius, wrong. Your stay here will only confuse others of your intentions."

Even though my thoughts had been much along the same line, I needed Clatia to state them aloud first.

"I am honored to have such a strong Queen in my place," I declared, one hand resting atop Clatia's soft hair. "I am honored to have such a wonderful friend. Take care of home, and Eramus."

"I would do nothing short of that," she breathed back, fishing my hand out of her hair.

We tangled together our limbs like we'd done so often as children, running through meadows reflecting our uncertain youth.

"And one more thing," she mentioned before I stood.

"What?"

"Embrace your experiences on Midgard. Whatever they may be, how odd, and who the beings are. Embrace it all."

I grabbed Clatia in a final hug, wishing to convey everything my tongue could not.

Minutes later when she had left me to teleport back, I realized with clear certainty that reuniting the brothers Thor and Loki was more important than ever. If not to preserve peace on Earth or settle the hurt between the two Gods, then most certainly for my realm.

I owed it to them at least. To see that my heart was not filled with fruitless abandon.

Or perhaps it was the unspoken thought. I owed it to myself.

TLOTLOTLOTLO

When Clatia had expressed that I embrace my experiences on Midgard, I doubt she meant being crushed against a brick wall by a fuming Asgardian God. Who happened to be pressed very intimately into me.

Actually, it all started the day I got back from my realm. My head was jumbled and frazzled and spewing out all sorts of thoughts.

Find Loki and Thor now. Find them later. Lure them out with their weapons. Break their weapons. Use my abilities, discretely.

Before all of this, I knew a nap was in order. Teleporting didn't come without its energy drain and while I could have borrowed some from the universe, I was determined to ween myself off those abilities. At least until my time on Earth was completed.

Awaking five hours later, I found that the afternoon was passing forth into the evening. No storm clouds were dominating the skies nor did any rain look promising.

So, I talked myself into going for a walk. Partially to clear my head, and partially to figure out a plan of actions. So far, I had been reliant on the Gods' goodwill of speaking with each other. Besides concealing their weapons, I'd done nothing to garner a reunion.

And by the time I was six blocks away, my mind had lost its train of thought. Sure, Thor and Loki's predicament rumbled around in there, but another gradual realization came to light.

I liked Earth. A lot, if I was willing to stay here a few extra months instead of heading home.

While I loved my realm, I valued the freedoms Earth granted. Small things like conversing about an endless amount of topics. Learning something completely new. Having the ability to travel from one area of the city to the other, knowing full well that where you begin is going to be far different than where you end.

I appreciated Earth to a certain degree. Third rock from the sun. In the habitable zone. A rock of intense beauty and life, provided neither attempted to destroy each other. Which they did. A fair more often than I like to recount.

Yet, the people needed saving, even if they didn't know it. They deserved that. Saving from a multitude of creatures they weren't even aware existed yet.

Saving from two Gods ready to beat the living hell out of each other. And using their city as a battleground.

This, ladies and gentlemen, is where it happened.

I was walking sluggishly over the pavement, not really paying attention to the world around me. I'm pretty sure I stepped in dog shit at one point. There it goes again. My irrational love of the word 'shit'.

My hands were balled into the pockets of a black, hooded sweatshirt, and my blue jeans shared a rip near the heel of my electric blue sneakers, threatening to get caught beneath my own weight.

Then suddenly, a hand reached out from an alley. I must have been close enough to one, and very much unaware that he'd been trailing me.

But I couldn't stop his progress after that.

Quite simply, I was pulled into the alley, pulled into his embrace, then pushed into the brick behind me, all in one movement.

I've got to mention that the pushing wasn't meant to hurt me, only to hold me in place. So this should clarify which brother it was that did the pushing.

"Thor," I greeted with a breathless grin, glancing at his palms. They were currently pressing my shoulders into the crumbling brick behind me.

"Don't," he argued, blue eyes pulsing with anger.

Then, he lifted one palm and pressed it against my left cheek. I didn't understand what the gesture meant, but as long as he wasn't hurting me, I had no problems against it.

Then, he spoke again.

"You stupid, stupid girl."

Hello to you too, mister.

"What did I do this time?" I questioned, tilting my head. Which made my forehead accidentally brush one of Thor's blonde locks.

At my confused tone, Thor took the time to stare carefully at me, attempting to deduce something.

"Did you?" he muttered more to himself, palm still pressed into my cheek.

"Did I what?" I breathed out, smelling the essence spewing forth from his muscular frame. Electricity. The first rain drops of the beginning of the universe. And chocolate. Melted, if I smelled it correctly.

Clenching his jaw, Thor invaded my personal space briefly, although let's admit it by this point he'd practically molested my personal space. His eyes were inches from my very own, lips emitting cool breaths, slamming them into my nostrils. Which were forced to repeat the sensual smell cycle all over again.

Finally, he backed away, but not to the point of releasing either hold on me.

"Loki dropped by yesterday," he began.

My face exploded with glee. Eyes a lit. Mouth spread upward. Cheeks silently acknowledging their own hurrah's.

But when Thor's face remained stormy and stoic, the joy began to skip on out of me.

"He told me-."

The God stopped himself, gaze shifting down to the concrete bellow.

"Told you what?" I asked, far more intrigued than amused.

"He told me," Thor repeated, voice growing angrier with each syllable, "that you presented yourself to him...naked. And you two-."

His blue eyes sunk into my own brown, seeking out an answer from a very confused woman.

"We what?" I asked, feeling my tone fall down to a dangerous grumble.

"You had sex. Many, many times."

Caught in between seething fury and an undercurrent of amusement, I stayed still for a long second, thinking over Thor's admission.

I shouldn't have been surprised. Loki would find some way to twist and turn around every situation he and I engaged in. If not to tarnish me, then to tarnish his own brother.

"It's not true."

Those were my first affirmative words and I made sure to meet Thor's gaze straight on to show I wasn't lying.

And then-

"Ew."

Followed by-

"You must have been madder than hell when he said that."

"I did not think it true. You seem...respectable in my eyes. But the way he talked."

"Talked?"

"Described every detail of your body. My doubt began there."

If any words ever held the capability of shocking me, it would be these.

"Wait, wait, wait. Loki described every detail of my body to you?"

The same unsureness stared back at me in the form of an Asgardian God.

"How would he know this?" Thor wondered, eyes squinting. "Unless-."

And then, Thor did something so unexpected I thought I might just have a heart attack.

He reeled back in the hand that had been holding on to my cheek and instead, unzipped my hoody a few inches until he could see my collar bone. Then, he proceeded to ease the hoody off my shoulder, followed by the white t-shirt I wore beneath.

This whole process was so weird. Not only because I had the hands of a man on me and was doing nothing about it, but because the shivers I thought went down with the Jonathan Love Boat, suddenly reemerged full force. And wouldn't you know it, they weren't sexual. At least not completely.

If anything, they assaulted my nerves with comfort. Like a sensual massage.

I could feel my face heat up, confused at the touch and what it meant. More specifically, why it felt so good.

My head didn't even register when the pad of Thor's thumb trailed an area in between my shoulder and beneath the indent of my collarbone.

As soon as he traced the area, I knew what he'd found.

"Loki mentioned you had a cut here. One that failed to heal over, most likely due to an electrical surge. Now that I see it, I wonder whether you tell the truth."

Sighing, my head slumped back against the red bricks. When a vibration shot through my skull, I welcomed it. Anything to distract the warm fuzzy feelings dancing madly in the pit of my stomach.

"I was naked. But not because we...had sex. Actually, he has a habit of sneaking into my apartment without my knowledge. I had just gotten done making...love to my neighbor Jonathan and as he slept, I slipped into the kitchen, only to find Loki there. Not my fault I was nude, I swear. And please don't think my late night rendezvous was with your brother. Yes, he stared. But now I know why. He had it planned out even then. If he could gather the secrets of the pale flesh before him, think how furious that would make his brother if he twisted the tale to where I willingly had intercourse with him. Which I wouldn't, thank you very much."

Luckily, my ramblings helped cool down the heat manifesting inside my body.

"You were making love to a mortal?"

"Yes!" I promised. "Although, Jonathan won't be able to remember it. As soon as he interrupted my and Loki's little pow-wow, Loki shot a bolt of energy into him. Effectively knocked him into unconsciousness and wouldn't you know it, conveniently placed a bump on his skull where his memories are stored."

Thor's eyes were caught in between a stare toward me, making sure I was telling the truth, and glancing at the dark blue scar impaled beneath my collar bone.

He traced the scar one last time before pulling back his hand.

As soon as he did so, the heat was gone and the cool September afternoon collided back into me.

"I am sorry. I knew he was lying as he said it, but I thought perhaps he had coerced you somehow."

"Do you really think that lowly of me?" I mumbled, slightly offended.

"You willingly stood naked before my brother. I don't know what to think of you," Thor admitted, smile tugging at his lips.

"Where I'm from, the body is treated like a relic and masterpiece at the same time. I don't think I have any more anxiety about being naked. It's...natural, I suppose."

"Where are you from again?"

Pausing, I slammed my eyes shut tiredly. I really got to be careful about what I say.

"Nice try," I dryly remarked.

When I opened them again, Thor was at a comfortable distance away from me. No more pressing. No more touching. No more shivers. Just a safe ten feet away.

"So now that we know I'm not having sex with your brother," I announced, pushing off from the wall, "what do we do now? He riled you up. Made you really, really mad. How are you going to handle that?"

"If I had my hammer-."

"-exactly why I took it away in the first place-."

"-out of a window. Tall building."

"Glad to see this hasn't soured your relationship," I finished, taking him in uncertainly. "Thor, you've got to talk to him. Try reasoning again. The reason he involved me into this little scheme is probably his own anger at what I picked out in him. Whether it was true or not, I can't be sure. But he's troubled and he needs you."

This turned the thunder God pensive, something I wasn't even aware could happen on his face.

"Perhaps tomorrow."

Not wanting to push it, I crossed my arms.

"Didn't you say that to me yesterday?"

"What is yesterday but today's tomorrow?"

My expression turned so befuddled that Thor let out a deep, low laugh, shaking even his shoulders.

"I forgot to mention," Thor added. "Are you aware of how many people follow you when you walk?"

"In what manner?"

"Two S.H.I.E.L.D. agents were on your trail for an entire half hour."

Glancing at the narrow street between the dank alley walls, I bit at my lip.

Completely forgot about that danger as well.

"Where are they now?" I asked.

"I took care of them."

Freezing, I spun my head so quickly toward Thor that I'm sure I heard a crack.

"You killed them?" I shrieked in disbelief. Because by this point, it was kind of obvious. Thor was the good guy. Loki was the bad.

Even though, deep inside me, I didn't believe that completely. Rarely are people as they seem.

Thor held anger in him deserving of a man full of evil and Loki held the ability to reform his life, equal to that of a good Samaritan.

"No. I told them to go drink some coffee. I'd take care of trailing you the rest of the way."

But I didn't miss his smirk at my stupidity.

"Would you like me to take care of them?" he then asked.

Grumbling, I pushed off from my position and stalked past the cocky God.

"I'll take care of you," I mumbled.

Regardless, Thor did follow me. All the way back to my apartment.

My last thoughts before I waved a halfhearted goodbye to him was 'if only he held the same persistence for repairing the relationship with his brother as he did for stalking me, the world would be a far better place.'

* * *

**I really hope you understood the dialogue and actions. Let me know your thoughts in a review.**


	6. Words That Burn

**Thank you for the reviews, however brief there were. They helped tremendously. Beautiful, beautiful words they are and constant water springs of inspiration. This coming chapter...well, you'll either hate it or you'll...sort of hate, sort of like it. I don't know. I'm feeling kind of 'meh' about it. Like I didn't do something right. Enjoy nonetheless.**

* * *

**Chapter 6 - Words That Burn**

"Hello."

The man glanced at me before fixing his focus back down to the newspaper.

"Hello," he mumbled boredly.

But I wasn't fooled. Probably because I'd seen him lurking around my apartment ever since Thor's departure last night, throwing more prominent stares at my window than anyone else's. Which made me assume he was S.H.I.E.L.D.

And even if he wasn't, there's nothing like starting out a Los Angeles morning with a greeting.

"Coffee, ma'am."

"Thank you," I told the vendor, taking back the change.

My companion still stood rooted to the ground, eyes glancing from left to right over the newspaper. His weight was shifted back on one foot while his hip leaned languidly on to a lamp post five feet away from the coffee vendor.

Smiling, I stepped up right beside him and rolled back my shoulders. From this angle exactly, I had a perfect view of my apartment. Or at least could pick out my window easily enough.

Then again, I could have just been being overly paranoid about the position.

"Lovely view," I exalted, sipping at the steaming brown liquid.

The man made an undefinable grumble from his throat before flipping to the next page.

"What's your name?" I tried.

This time, I didn't even get an answer.

Sighing, I took in the man once more. This time, it was to recognize all of his features just in case my hunch proved correct.

"You may not be the friendliest person I've ever met, but you certainly are one of the most handsome," I complimented.

The man was built, but not thunder God built. Mahogany brown hair. Sharp, hawkish eyes. A bit of a stubble on both cheeks, touching down at his chin like a cornucopia coming full circle.

"Thank you," he responded, eyes still glued to the paper.

"You're welcome."

As an afterthought, because I was just a tad bit frustrated at my lack of intuition for this man, I stopped before crossing the street and gave him one last gaze.

"Tell Thor I said hi."

This had his eyes on me immediately, but all I did was offer him a wink before crossing.

Hopefully, this would put some distance between S.H.I.E.L.D. and myself. If they knew I was aware of their trailing, maybe they'd back off for a little while.

Until my mission was complete.

TLOTLOTLOTLO

It wasn't until later in the day that I realized the rude, brunette man had sparked an idea within me.

I was in the process of finishing Macchiavelli's _The Prince_ when the thought ignited. And let's be honest, the book frustrated me to tears and only reminded me of the everlasting feud between the Asgardian Gods.

So, I flung away the novel onto a nearby couch and began a pace with one finger tapping away at my chin like a woodpecker.

Both Gods would not speak to each other. And if they did, it would be just to provoke the other into doing something idiotic, as in Loki's case.

Which really said something about their ability to apologize.

Although I suppose I should have seen it coming when they decided to battle it out using the skyscrapers of Los Angeles as opposed to sitting down over brunch.

Wait. What the hell is brunch?

Anyway, it was an obvious fact that the former brothers would not speak if they were aware the other would be present.

However, there still remained a person they both willingly conversed with. Even sometimes when that person didn't wish to put up with their bipolar attitudes.

Me.

And the longer I pondered it over, the more awed I became at the reality.

If Thor wasn't in my presence, then Loki was. Or vice versa. One had a habit of surfacing within my apartment every now and then while another felt like pulling me into odd places just to have a conversation.

Yes, they both desired their weapons back. I knew this to be the only reason for their constant pursuit. And there was a hint of curiosity as well. I was something undefinable.

But more importantly, I was a constant in their lives. They willingly engaged with me. And in some ways, this meant they trusted me to a certain degree, or trusted their curiosity.

If I could keep pushing the issue of redemption discreetly, perhaps they'd unknowingly come to understand the importance of their reconciliation.

This plan didn't have an end date, and this was the most problematic angle. It could take a few days or a few centuries for them to begin negotiations. And I really wasn't convinced of either brother's feelings toward me. Maybe they wanted to do nothing more than slaughter me on the spot.

But I was severely limited in my funding.

Still insistent on not harnessing energy from the universe, I couldn't go to extravagant acts in order to get the two brothers to speak.

S.H.I.E.L.D. had also found me, so my movements might be tracked carefully.

All I had was the knowledge of the situation.

I suppose I could always bargain information about myself in exchange for a few words, but this thought didn't quite reach all that highly in my mind. The council purposely did NOT want me to reveal any abilities to a mass population. It would only fuel the negative attention toward me.

Pausing, I sat down with a frown.

C'mon, this should not be so complicated. I've brought about peace between entire races bent on destroying the other within a fortnight. Why is it so difficult this time around?

Because, this _is_ personal.

In fact, it was always more difficult if it was personal.

There were two individual feelings to consider, and as Queen, one could not rule out or justify ones actions immediately without understanding the other.

Here were two men at heart, really. Loki may think himself higher above others, but really, behind the smoke screen and fancy display of illusions and abilities, he was wired just as I was.

And since Thor's actions served in the form of betrayal, Loki's vengeance wouldn't end in a simple exchange of words.

I stood once again, muscles in my back straining at the contact.

What I needed to do was lure one of them out. So I could understand their mindset better. That's where the real healing needed to begin.

Almost instantly, I knew Loki would have to be first. Thor already held a willingness to discuss matters, even if it wasn't always present. The God of Mischief would take a longer time.

The problem remained in luring him out. He wasn't exactly known for making appearances like a clown at a birthday party, unless he wished it.

Furrowing my brows, I raised my arms high above me and exhaled.

Just like that, my answer became clear. It wasn't a good answer. Or one I was particularly fond with. It went against the new belief of mine about using the universe's energy provided to me.

But I knew Loki enjoyed a good show. And if I could be relatively incognito with it, there was a sure chance I'd be speaking to him by the end of the night.

Something I mentally had to prepare for. The man didn't exactly have a personality that screamed sane.

"Damn, I hope this works," I spoke into the empty room.

TLOTLOTLOTLO

I sat on the dewy grass of outskirts Los Angeles at roughly ten o'clock in the evening. Above me, the Earth's moon glared back like a large, enlightening eye. In fact, it was so large and enlightening that it easily beat the record for the annual super moon scheduled each year on Earth.

Scientists all around the world were most likely at work, studying and in awe of this new anomaly.

This was my doing, of course. Not extremely difficult to do, and doing so didn't set off any sort of balance.

But I did hope it would attract some wanted attention.

And this made me chuckle. The day I mentally admitted to wanting to be in Loki's presence...well, I definitely thought that day would be farther away.

So far, everything was calm, or as calm as things can get in Los Angeles.

In the background, traffic sped over littered highways. Music blasted out of nearby cars. Every so often, a helicopter sped over my head, most likely heading to help out with the reconstruction downtown.

Otherwise, I was utterly alone. Another position I wasn't accustomed to until I ventured to Earth. Back on my realm, especially who I was, garnered constant attention equal to that of the paparazzi over common celebrities. Of course my people would leave if I so wished it and they never were so disrespectful just to garner a response.

"Your doing?"

My back stiffened.

So lost in my thoughts, I'd completely denounced the sudden shift in temperature around me. In fact, it wasn't just the degrees that shot down, but the way the particles traveled in the atmosphere. Almost desperately, struggling to heat a patch of succulent cold in the air.

"I haven't the foggiest idea what you're talking about," I casually mentioned, leaning back on one hand splayed in the cool grass.

Now, I could pick up on his footsteps perfectly, as if I was a part of the Earth itself.

The man really was impressively sly otherwise.

One step was taken, then another, feet pressing softly into the dirt, squandering the grass from its desperate reach up.

And with each step, I had to fight off the nerves sprouting within me. I had the upper hand. I always would, if it were to come to that, despite my current position.

So why was I feeling so damned anxious?

"Sit," I offered, patting the ground beside me.

My gaze was still fixed ahead, eyes skipping over the sparkling city.

Loki did no such thing. Instead, he planted himself on two feet, directly beside me. I didn't miss the significance of this movement.

"Does it really feel better?" I questioned, glancing up at his dark features.

He stood wearing black pants and a black trench coat, regal and confident. Eyes sharp and holding a deadly calculation. Lips not quite parted, but not pressed together either.

"I haven't the foggiest idea what you're talking about," he retorted, avoiding my gaze.

Nodding, the corners of my lips twitched in mirth.

"Standing above someone you see as beneath you," I patiently explained.

This had the God's emerald gaze fall down to me. His lips didn't give anything away, and I was sure the night helped hide his true intentions.

But this didn't bother me. The sun could have been shining as brightly as possible and Loki's face would still remain successfully closed off. It was in his nature to appear so deceptively at ease.

"I do not think you beneath me," he replied, almost in surprise.

My shock must have showcased on my features because Loki smirked.

"Yes, I may have physically assaulted you. Sparred with words against your nature-."

"-lied to Thor about-."

"-ah, yes, that too. But it is obvious you are not human. Therefore, you have at least some sort of advantage."

Blinking, I glanced back to the city.

"I think sometimes, we're at the disadvantage," I stated.

A disbelieving snort flew up from the man above me, but I kept on staring ahead as if I'd never heard it.

"Think how impressive it is that they managed to create all of this," I voiced, knowing my words were coming from heart. In fact, I think they dug even deeper than just that. "The wars are unfortunate. Horribly unfortunate. But what race hasn't had their fair share? They've rebuilt. I think what is most beautiful about humanity is their preservation. Their ability to start anew. Adapt. Grow. Love even when their hearts are bleeding."

This time, I met Loki's stare directly.

I doubt his had ever left mine.

"That is something they have an advantage of over you," I pointed out. "To forgive. We are beings of constant change. As is the universe, we follow in its footsteps. The inability to forgo this change, to wallow in this deep depression we've sunk ourselves into, doesn't just go against ourselves. It goes against nature."

I glanced away, thinking of Clatia and the wisdom she was so gifted with.

A chortle shot out of me, but I couldn't determine what emotion fueled it.

"A race that is able to keep up with the universe. Tell me, is that not impressive?"

For a long moment, only the wind, having steadily picked up in the past hour, greeted my ears directly. It tickled and chilled at the same time, making my thin windbreaker cling desperately to the heat my body sputtered out.

"What do you want with me?" Loki questioned, voice oddly detached for a second.

"To talk," I answered simply.

"I do not believe you."

"Thor is able to do it. I suppose that is another thing you are at a disadvantage of."

I could almost hear the marble of his teeth grinding across each other like tectonic plates.

"Leave that oaf out of this."

"Change the subject," I suggested.

"You are not worth my time."

But even as he said the words, the God made no movements to flee.

"I took your prized weapon, hold secrets inside my head you could never even begin to imagine, and am offering you company on this chilly night. I assure you, I am worth your time."

Staying meticulously silent, Loki only continued staring ahead of him.

"You followed _my_ trail. You ask yourself whether I'm worth your time."

The God still didn't move, nor sit. But his indecision told me he wasn't going anywhere for the next few minutes.

Unfortunately, I couldn't even begin to think of a topic for conversation. Right now, speaking to Loki was like swimming in open water with a small cut on my leg. The more erratic my movements, the bigger the cut opens, revealing the salty blood inside. And you just know those sharks are ready to pounce on you if you're not careful.

"Where are you from?" he questioned.

"I don't talk about your brother, you don't ask me about my heritage," I answered calmly. "Next topic."

"Fugacior puer," Loki muttered.

"Pertinax equum."

My comment made him turn to me.

"You know Latin?"

His tone was laced with incredulity.

"We-."

But I abruptly ceased speaking, furious suddenly at the information I was ready to expose.

I'd meant to mention to him that Latin was a universal language, especially popular in my own realm. We'd accidentally dropped it off on Earth when a Queen had come to a Roman in his dream. Well, I suppose he wasn't a Roman just yet. In fact, his empire wasn't but mere grassland at the time.

Queen Elise had ventured in with the agile language, speaking to the man known as Romulus. She told him of an area where they could set up their own city. The one he and Remus squabbled so needlessly about. Where many great ideas and people would prosper and begin from.

Of course this was the time where Queens had listened rather adamantly to prophets. And prophets were seldom accurate sources of information, not when there was the universe at the Queen's disposal.

The city did begin, but the Queen nor the prophets could have predicted Romulus murdering his own brother as a result.

This was one of the last times a Queen consulted a prophet, or offered up advice through the subconscious state.

And all of this information was ready to tumble out of me like a babbling brook. Wasn't I supposed to be the one getting to know him?

"I do know Latin," was all I replied with.

Another silence spread between us, and quietly, I came to realize that perhaps my plan wasn't as marvelous as I first thought.

Or maybe I'm just not asking the right questions.

"You care about Asgard, don't you?"

By this time, I was fully studying Loki, deducing everything from a natural twitch to a careful concealment.

"Not in the least."

"But you grew up there." I insisted. "Played there as a child. Learned your abilities. Loved some women so hard that they crawled back for more."

A brief smile entered his lips, but fled as soon as I stopped talking.

"I'll ask you again. Do you care about Asgard? And not in the terms of just being King."

"I-."

As soon as the word came out, Loki seemed to have bit down on it. I wasn't sure if he was truly pondering the question or if he simply wanted to deny speaking the truth.

"To a degree, I recognize its importance into what I have become. Other than this, I find no immediate use for it."

"That's absolutely preposterous!" I exclaimed with a laugh.

Immediately, Loki's green gaze shot to me in annoyance.

"You don't care about your home? I can understand hating Odin. He isn't always the most forthcoming of men. Or those who've befriended you, in hopes of attaining royal status when your brother became King. But what of the good things? Your mother, for one, who loved you, still loves you no matter your faults. I won't speak of the oaf on account of the hissy fit you seem to stumble into each time I do. But you must want to be King for a reason other than to rule. Asgardians are equal to you. How could you look down on them? Or the sole fact that you did it all just to be loved and accepted."

When he remained mute, I casted away my gaze in a slight frustration and fell back on to the grass behind me. My back was soaked immediately, but I gave it no proper thought.

Now, only the faint twinkle of stars greeted me. Because the moon was so grand, they hardly appeared in the velvet, blue night.

At home, the stars seemed far closer. Definitely a better abundance of them. But I suppose that's something that made early man so fascinated with the universe. Their lack of explanation for all of the beauty within it.

"Would you have had a better life?" I asked gentler, seemingly in a daze as my eyes wandered over the lonely clouds. "Had Odin never took you from Jotunheim. Would you have had a better life?"

My companion either choked on his own tongue or disappeared altogether.

Since I could still detect his presence, I did not give much thought to his silence. He needed to hear it out loud, if he hadn't already yet thought it over.

"You are someone who I believe, loves very deeply. Or at least has the capability to do so. Had you been raised in your original land of birth, I fear that ability would have eventually destroyed you. The Frost Giants, as you know, are not the kindest or nurturing of beings. Yes, you may have learned to become a fierce warrior. Kill without the slightest of morals. But there is only such a stagnant cycle of these tasks before one realizes they have no purpose in life."

I took a breath in between, swallowing to parch my dry throat.

"Instead, Odin found you in the dark. Before you could be corrupted or broken by your own race. He tried giving you a better life. He did, compared to the alternative. There is no position you should feel inferior to. No rank to seek approval in. This all comes from your own willingness to forgive those you deem unforgivable."

And again, my voice took on that tone. The one sounding like dust combusting in an electric atmosphere while a wind soared through from galaxies away, ancient and full of unbecoming knowledge.

I did not know exactly if my words held value. Loki displayed signs that weren't exactly easy to detect upon first glance. But, it was only when I thought over them, eyes glued to the skies above, that they started passing through my lips.

Not even surprised anymore at Loki's inaudibility, I moved to lift myself up into a sitting position. I didn't plan on forcing words from Loki's throat, only to make him ponder over his actions and the choices he still had open.

What I wasn't ready for, however, was his knee.

It swung forth and connected harshly with my mouth, sending me back into the cold ground below, head dizzying as skull met marshy topsoil with a firm ground beneath.

Before I could even wipe away the blood gathered from an open gash or attempt to get back up, the God was on me.

One hand pressed viciously around my throat, finger nails digging into the skin and emitting a freezing jolt of ice cold into the skin, another leg swung over my waist while one occupied the opposite side, effectively pinning me down, and finally, his body rested like a lion, over mine.

"I will warn you only once of this," Loki seethed, green eyes now two pots of ember, "do not try to make me see the error of my ways. This will only end very, _very _badly for you."

With each word, he tightened the hold he on my windpipe, effectively blocking out any protests I had. And when a God is choking you, it feels as if all of the universe is compacting around your throat.

The entire time his face neared me, lips sunk into a furious depression, eyes raging like an out of control wildfire, I stayed calm.

I had found over the week or so that I'd known the God, he tended to be the angriest when the truth sank down the closest to heart. Or what I assumed was the truth. Perhaps this was just my belief coming back of him wanting to do nothing more than slaughtering me.

Despite his vicious stance and intention, I trusted him not to harm me.

Venting. This was nothing but venting. And to be honest, I'd rather he vented on me as opposed to Thor or the city of Los Angeles.

Just before he closed his grip again, I took in a much needed breath and worked to power myself through the next few minutes while the fuming God lowered himself closer and closer to me.

In fact, he had gotten so close that his breaths parted the stray hairs falling over my forehead.

"Your lack of knowledge is pitiful," he spat.

And when I mean spat, I literally mean particles of his spit landed on my face.

Still, I kept my body relaxed and my eyes open.

"You-."

Yet again, he paused.

This time, something flashed in his features. Brief, barely there, but oh so clear.

My eyes widened.

Just in the flash, I detected it. The same knowledge one gets into their features before succumbing to death's grip. Or love's embrace. Or anger's fury.

Comprehension.

He knew I was right.

And that's when he closed the distance between us and forced his cold, bruising lips against mine.

There was nothing warm in the act. Nothing passionate or something that could be interpreted otherwise.

This was pure, electric anger, a battle against the change I'd warned him of. This was sadness and revenge and having to force all of these emotions to coexist with each other.

Quite honestly, the only task his lips succeeded in was bringing more scarlet liquid to the surface of my torn, bloodied lip.

It was the knowledge of what these things were, what the kiss meant, that made me cease pondering over it and simply let it happen. If this was the way Loki had to figure out whatever it is he struggled to process, more power to him. Well...maybe a tad less. He was still choking me.

In retaliation, I forced my nostrils to do all the breathing while Loki's lips continued their harsh assault.

One of his hands eventually came to tangle into my hair, gleaming like a torch when compared to the dark locks, another propping itself beside my face so he didn't completely deprive me of oxygen. If he chose to, another inch would mold our heated bodies together.

Because despite the kiss lacking compassion, a fire burned unhealthily in my tummy at the contact.

I don't know how many minutes passed by or how long the God was planning on this sort of therapy, but I know I didn't expect what happened next.

One moment, his mouth was attempting to force my own open, the next, it sprung away a few centimeters and waited. Waited until his tongue darted out, then sped over my bottom lip and _licked _off the blood gathered there.

Just like a cat.

I think the feline action surprised both of us.

After the blood was cleaned from my lip, his eyes met mine.

What shone in them one moment, the turbulent pyre of callous hate, suddenly progressed into something quite different.

By this point, I was finally able to open my mouth and breathe out properly. My throat throbbed painfully in reply, knowing I'd have a far worse bruise on it than the last one Loki had given me. Which by the way, I had JUST gotten rid of.

"What was that?" I breathed out, still shocked at the display. On my realm...well, usually I'd go into a mini-story about customs on my realm.

But I can only say this. Beings did _not_ lick blood away from other beings bodies. It was an act that would garner any resident a stay inside the Gelida Spelunca for their lack of sanity.

And perhaps that's why he'd done it. In the cruel blissful release of all things common to him, pressing into my lips and licking away that which he'd been the producer of, only seemed natural.

Carefully, I morphed my expressions back into something other than shock. Difficult to do at this point, mind you.

"I do not know," he admitted, voice coming out softly for once. "But your blood-."

He licked at his lips once more, attempting to taste a stray dribble.

"-it's different."

This entire time, we'd failed to notice how incredibly intimate our encounter really had gotten.

He was fully on top of me now, flesh digging into odd angled bones. Chest to chest. Waist to waist. And nearly mouth to mouth again.

"Are you alright?"

Even though he'd successfully assaulted me once more, a part of me craved to know what the hell was exactly going through his mind.

"Curious being, are you not? I have every intention of causing you pain, and you simply ask if I am the one alright."

Now, he was starting to sound like the old Loki. The one who believed he was just a tad bit more advanced than everyone else. This included in intelligence, prestige, and apparently, sexual appeal.

"Are you?" I asked again, my eyes sure saucers by now. Quickly, my pain subdued into fascination. Which was a travesty in itself. I hated that word.

But it charged back to me like an annoying cousin one sees only when it is mandatory.

"Yes," Loki answered. "I am perfectly fine."

Then, his eyes carefully trailed over my face, searching for something.

When he didn't find it, or maybe he did, Loki brought his focus back to my eyes.

There was a lack of speech on his part, and I did not think it was intentional. Whether his actions had simply caught up with him and even he was attempting to decipher their meaning, I don't know. But this time, his voice simply couldn't support the gravity of what he'd done.

And this would have been a perfect time for me to gloat. Or shove it into his face that I'd made him lose control with my own words. To bring up the vulnerable understanding I'd witnessed.

But none of these actions appealed to me. They were cruel and unjustifiable. Loki would learn what he was feeling on his own time.

Really, I was just processing a burning sense of relief and satisfaction. I had made him feel **something. **While I may have been the unfortunate recipient of that something, at least he had his own emotions to think over for the next few days.

So, when his lips continued to twitch with unprocessed thoughts, I twisted my hands out from underneath him and set them underneath his shoulders.

"Same time tomorrow?" I asked, calm smile swinging back.

He disappeared without a response, leaving me to stare in breathless amazement at the navy blue above.

TLOTLOTLOTLO

The morning after Loki had kneed me in the face, unattractive, raw-pink swelling nearly encompassing my entire lower lip, and attempted to strangle me again, vibrant, nearly black bruises from the frost he'd delivered peppered around my throat like a gruesome necklace, I was sipping another cup of coffee courtesy of the same vendor across my apartment.

I hadn't slept well the entire night, lips still tingling from what had been done to them.

This entire time, I believed I was aware of what Loki was feeling. What he was about to do. His next set of actions.

When really, I was just as unprepared for them as he was.

Yes, this was the pessimistic side of me springing up. Scolding me for allowing the physical marks on to my face. For letting him deliver a malicious kiss when the act is meant to be given out of love and cherishing. For letting him vent out on me.

Even drinking a sublime cup of coffee couldn't subdue these blaming thoughts. Did I really make things better last night? Or did I forever inject a notion into Loki that he could hit me whenever he wanted to?

This thought made me so angry in fact, that I didn't even notice the steaming hot coffee all over my hand until the burns pierced through my skin.

"Shit," I growled, dropping the remainder of my crushed cup.

The burns throbbed back, heating my limb into an unhealthy degree.

"Here, let me help."

I glanced up as a cloth was wrapped with precision, around my hand. The coolness fought back the snarling heat.

"Thanks," I mumbled, observing the familiar face above.

When he didn't answer, only because he was focused on aiding my injured hand, I offered up a smile.

"I had hoped I scared your organization away for a short time."

It was the man who'd been staked outside my apartment the night before.

"We're not easily scared off," he answered confidently.

A few more minutes had the cloth carefully wrapped around my hand like a cast on a leg. The guy, whoever he was, definitely held well practiced medical skills.

"Thank you," I voiced, studying the limb carefully. Of course I had to attain another wound. Because last night wasn't enough.

The man must have picked up on the exchange of emotions running across my face, for he dropped the frown he'd been sporting.

"I guess you're not fireproof," he noted, glancing over me. I knew right away, just from the lack of expression on his face, when he found the markings.

"Someone did a real number on you," he whistled.

Then, his eyes traveled down to my exposed neck.

I hadn't thought I'd be out long, just out and in for a cup. But I hadn't planned on crushing the cup into oblivion and giving myself first degree burns.

"Boxing," I replied casually, "needed to let off some steam."

He studied me for a moment, one corner of his lips lifting up.

"Looks like they flung off their gloves and attacked you."

Shrugging, I glanced down at my bandaged hand.

"Russian boxing," I corrected.

"Ah. You must know Anya Peredojva then."

Now, there was a challenge in his tone.

"No, sorry. I forgot to mention it's an underground tournament."

"Excuse me then. How about Katya "KO" Spetziv?"

Squinting at him, I felt my lips lift up against my own will. And with it, my dank mood was retreating. Honestly, if I came in contact with the right people or coached myself into the right state of mind, I could constantly be in a happier mood. A curse and blessing at the same time.

"A bit more underground than that," I admitted. "We're not even supposed to talk about it."

At this, his eyes rounded and he took a careful step toward me.

"Like 'Fight Club'?"

Pursing my lips, I tilted my head.

"What's a fight club?"

"Well, number one rule of fight club is to not talk about fight club."

"Then you must understand my reluctance to explain what happens in the cages. Women are molded into beasts."

This produced a surprised laugh from the man.

"Is that right? Well, I'm sorry for mentioning it then."

"It's okay. Just be lucky this isn't underground-underground, Siberian boxing. Then, I'd have to kill you."

The previous challenge in his tone spread to his lips.

"I'd like to see you try."

Nodding, I took a step back. A mischievous part of me was offering to display just how easily I could let him see me try, but logic won over and accepted his winning quip.

Another cool morning had befallen Los Angeles and standing out in pajama pants and a sweatshirt just wasn't doing much for insulation.

"I should probably go back inside," I informed. "Thanks for wrapping my hand."

"Not a problem."

My feet began their way toward the street, but at the last minute, the man's hand shot out and wrapped around my arm.

"Hey," he said, voice lowering briefly as a couple of teenagers strolled by, "if you're in trouble with someone, we can help."

I knew he was referring to the bruises, but I wasn't sure if he connected Loki as the cause of them.

"Thanks, but really, they're nothing to worry about."

The man still seemed unsure.

"What's your name?" I asked, wanting to switch the subject.

"Clint."

"Okay, Clint. If I'm ever in trouble, I'll let you know. You're usually prowling the streets, sometimes even on top of buildings, I've noticed, stuck with the unfortunate task of watching the crazy coffee chick. Really, you should ask your company for a promotion."

Clint's lips twitched again.

"This is my promotion," he answered, studying me.

Surprised, I replied, "You certainly got screwed over."

"Where are you when I try explaining this to my boss?"

"Russian underground boxing," I reminded.

Clint nodded in amusement, offering a hand.

I took it with my uninjured one and shook it.

"Thor claims you can handle yourself as well, although he hasn't explained how. I'm just a precaution in case you can't."

"What am I in need of protection against?"

His eyes strayed back to the marks covering my lip and neck.

Detaching our limbs, I quickly offered a final thanks.

Only when I was in the safety of my own apartment, did I sprint to the nearest mirror and observe the markings.

It appeared as if I'd sustained a beating from an abusive boyfriend.

"Well," I said to my reflection, taking a few strands of locks and flinging them over the markings, "it could have gone worse, right?"

* * *

**I feel kind of disappointed with this chapter. Like I couldn't get out the words I wanted to in some parts, or explain what I wanted. Bit of a bittersweet-don't-think-it's-a-good-chapter, situation. Also, I don't plan on involving Clint romantically with "Lucy". He's just there to let her know she's constantly being watched...sort of. And has help, if she wishes for it. And to speak to someone about underground boxing: Russian style. But the tale of Romulus and Remus, for anyone that doesn't know, is true. They were the original founders of Rome. My only creative input was having a Queen from "Lucy's" realm guide Romulus to the area through a dream, also first speaking Latin to him. I love history and anytime I can insert some sort of neat fact into a story, I will. And last thing, just in case you wanted to know what Loki called "Lucy" and what she called him back in Latin. He called her an elusive child and she called him a stubborn horse. Anyway, let me know what you're thinking in a review!**


	7. Harmonious Madness

**Thank you, as always, to everyone who reviewed. I receive more, it seems, when I write a Loki chapter, so I'll definitely keep that in mind as the story goes on. Honestly, I already have picked out from the first chapter, "Lucy's" love interest. It might just surprise you a bit. Anywho, words can't express the gratitude I have for what you've guys said so far. Very, very, very inspiring. I can't say that this is my best chapter to give you, but I couldn't think a way around it. So, I just hope you enjoy!**

* * *

**Chapter 7 - Harmonious Madness**

The rest of the day drifted by without incident or injury. A success, I realized, considering I seemed to be a magnet for destruction as of late.

Every so often, I would peek out my window, only to see Clint perched somewhere nearby, always in a different area than the one he'd been at before. Once near the newspaper stand. Another time near a group of women gossiping at a cafe, approximately ten feet down the street. Even caught him once, or I would have sworn I did, on the ledge of the opposite apartments from us. Now that was just showing off.

It always seemed like he spotted me before I could spot him too, and this happened to be another skill I attributed to him. Range, and creative placement.

I'd throw him a knowing wave once I was able to pick him out and he'd smile to himself without even seeing me, although he must have with those quick eyes of his.

After these brief moments of amusement, I was back to work on handling the situation I'd been tasked with.

It's no secret that I always believed I could take on the most grueling of tasks. I had an energy source other beings could only dream of.

But each time I glanced at myself in the mirror on the way to the bathroom or kitchen, I would falter.

I wasn't lying when I mentioned that rarely, if ever, a Queen was harmed in her duty. They were always able to defuse situations without having to get involved in the bloodshed. We were born with a naturally calculative mind rivaling that of humans like Hannibal or Patton.

Having Clint stationed somewhere outside my apartment provided me relief I hadn't even known I was craving. Maybe even a bit too confident to believe I craved.

It also gave my mind a rest from having to constantly ponder tactics and solutions to the point of out right paranoia. For a short while, at least.

Until I realized the problem was far more severe than just writing up a modest treaty.

Did I even really know what I was getting into with Loki? The same God who'd intentionally attempted to cause genocide upon two races just because he didn't feel loved?

What if this time around, I'd be forced to retaliate?

I had already begun disciplining myself not to rely so heavily on the universe's abilities what with all the eyes suddenly trained on me; from this realm and my own. This included letting my injuries go unhealed and lowering my sense of awareness of the world around me, dangerous if someone intended me harm.

And while my discipline had been little as of yet, I could already feel the change.

To my surprise, it wasn't necessarily pleasant. I'm not sure if this is just the comfort I've lived with for the past three years of having a sure form of protection, or simply how deeply in tune with the universe I felt. Like it breathed, lived, slumbered, and thrived inside me.

At least that's what it felt like when we spoke. And the last time we had was over a week ago, right before Loki interrupted.

Retaliation aside, how was I to defend myself against the God if I was practicing this form of restraint? Peaceful by nature doesn't exactly seem to warrant any sympathy from his heart. And our realm practiced wisdom over weapons, so in a fight, he would take me down embarrassingly easy.

With this thought, a cringe raged through me. How appropriate for me to encounter a God who believed the exact opposite of my own values.

Turning toward the kitchen, I ignored the disproportional features I knew I'd catch in the mirror. Taking them in was far too depressing.

And I succeeded, but not with more worries igniting. Could such a lost individual really find the light again?

THIS thought forced a shiver of anger to course through my entire body. Before I knew it, I slapped my burnt hand down against the Formica counter top, not even feeling the raging snap my sensitive hand expelled.

What kind of question is that? Of course he can. A Queen gives up on no one.

What if I'd simply determined the Frost Giants to be too malicious and allowed them to overtake Los Angeles? Or let the Seven-Nebula war continue on because one person couldn't possibly fight off so many demons? What if I decided to never settle on all of the realm's treaties promising an end to disputes?

What if? What if? What if?

There were no what ifs. Thinking in that manner shows a reluctance to take risks. To handle things others may deem too strenuous.

A Queen had to be above all of those obstacles, at least emotionally. She had to swallow her pride, her fear, everything threatening to consume her insecurities, for the benefit of the other realms. Whether it was helping out billions of a civilization, or one tragic-minded God, it mattered not. Or two, if one wanted to get technical.

Giving up is _not_ an option. Not when I already witnessed the spark of redemption hiding so wantonly inside Loki.

Nodding affirmatively to myself, I pushed out the receding doubt still intent on succumbing my mind to surrender. It was only temporary. It was always only temporary, that instinct to give in.

And then I yelped loud enough surely to scare off a few birds near my window.

Glancing down, I bit at my upper lip while my uninjured hand carefully prodded the injured one. It felt like the energy of seven hydrogen suns had ruptured my nerves all at once. Really, I had to be more careful about keeping my injuries to a minimum on my own. Irony would surely strike me if I were to be the victim of my own clumsiness.

This was another thing I was a tad bit concerned about.

Lately, meaning since my residential stay on Earth, I felt myself indulge in anger with the carelessness of a rotten child. Not random, I'm-going-to-kneel-you-in-the-face-and-then-bite/molest-your-mouth, type of anger. But small things which seemed to lead to this fierce emotion expanding into a sort of fuel, causing my intentions to run on something other than patient will.

Such thoughts leading to this included the thought of defeat before even beginning a resolution. Or Loki believing humans to be inferior to himself. Or needless violence, something humans were primarily excellent at.

Where once, I had to put on a brave face in front of my realm because we were just so damn chummy all the time and expected the same from their Queen, now on Earth, no one cared if you released your emotions. Actually, it was recommended, provided you did it in a safe manner.

And I was doing exactly that.

Years of pent up anger and tension between myself and the residents of my very own realm, seemed to flow out like a cascading waterfall. Again, not in a dangerous way. But in puffs, like smoke.

Although, considering I had the universe at my finger tips and already once on Earth, felt the tug to bring those abilities to the forefront, I knew I had to practice caution. Meaning even less dependence on the universe, if possible.

Which was disappointing. Not speaking to the universe felt like ignoring a parent you cherished. It provided me with wisdom and intellect I just couldn't seem to find anywhere else.

Shaking my head, I carefully struck up a cycle of inhales and exhales, the pounding in my head receding to a minimal throbbing as a result. Perhaps a full week or so of taking it easy might be enough to where every nerve didn't explode each time I touched something.

And my face...who knew? In my realm of relative health and little physical scarring, the consequences of such malicious actions really couldn't be clear.

But I know now to face it with a sense of honor and dignity. Provided I still have some after I repair the tensions between the two Asgardian brothers.

Former brothers.

Or not.

Honestly, I don't even know anymore!

TLOTLOTLOTLO

When I brought back the curtains this time around, expecting to catch a glimpse of my mighty fox man poached somewhere in the growing darkness of a calm evening, I found to my surprise, and I did scan for a good two minutes, that the man was gone.

A strange mixture of relief and anxiety entered me, but I beat it down. I knew what I would do, if things ever did come down to it. Why was I so finicky?

In fact, I didn't take into account that Loki might not even show up.

Which is exactly what happened.

I tried keeping myself busy with remedial tasks for the next few hours. Watching CSI. Reading _Atlas, Shrugged _by Ayn Rand. Cleaning already a spotless living space.

I even waited until ten o'clock, knowing this was the same time the God had found me the night before.

But Loki remained a no show.

So, he was either thinking over what occurred, or he simply didn't wish to be in my presence anymore.

Neither one bothered me, really. I preferred being alone with my bruises, just for the sake of having one night to properly get used to them.

But eventually, if he didn't find me in the nights to come, I'd have to find him. See if he was ready to face his brother. Time was of the essence.

Thinking of the place I hid their weapons, a Cheshire grin flew over my lips.

If all else failed, I would involve their weapons in the bargain. Perhaps threaten to throw them into the center of a dying star. Or into a black hole. Or sell it off to the Salvation Army. Now that was an idea!

An hour later and I was tucked snugly into bed, brain waves already snoring even though my eyes were sprung open.

For a moment, I glanced tiredly around the dim room, attempting to pick up on anything out of the ordinary in the atmosphere.

Instead, my room opted to stay patiently normal.

So into slumber I crawled, silently rejoicing at the withheld peace.

TLOTLOTLOTLO

One of the most common dreams I've been accustomed to having for the past three years, was of the day I gathered with Clatia in the city square of my realm.

The dream always seemed to move along unbearably slow because my subconscious by now, knew exactly what the Queen upon the balcony would say. Who her message would be to.

But at the time, I hadn't cared much about being there. The overall reason is a tad bit complicated to explain.

At the time, my only real concern was for Clatia. She shared a deep ambition of being picked to lead our realm and continue on a tradition of peace and love. Not only that, but she had studied and breathed this lifestyle. I simply helped support her dream in my own adamant ways with supportive words and joyous smiles.

Really, if not for her, I would have never been there.

Waking up, I immediately noted the chilliness inside my bedroom, clinging to my body like a pesky frost.

In my mind, the events of the dream replayed over and over and I felt my heart fill up with a twitching melancholy, some of it surely seeping in from the room as well.

Clatia's ambition to be the Queen, far outweighed my own at the time. I was so dismissive toward the position. So uncaring.

It was a joke, really.

Not the spreading of peace, of course. This was something I believed in whole heartedly.

No, the joke was in the manner the Queen was displayed. At least in all of the years I'd watched Queens take the throne. Perhaps these traits were only present during my lifetime.

Selfish and vain.

And yet I was the one picked. Was that sending a message?

Three years ago, I realized, some things just don't make sense very often.

Three years later and I realize maybe the biggest deception was they did, but never in the beginning.

Regardless, there is still immense guilt I carry from being picked over Clatia. Even if she was supportive after the occurrence, helping to steady my shocked form when the announcement was made, I still felt like handing over the position to her.

At times, especially now when my insecurities were at their highest, I honestly believe Clatia would have been the better Queen. The more able.

I clawed at an itch beneath my chin, eyes wanting to swivel back together and rest. Stop beating myself up for the way destiny ran its course.

Usually, the dream only stayed one time a night. After that, a world of possibility awaited me.

What was stopping me?

My head sank into the cotton pillow seconds later.

TLOTLOTLOTLO

"What happened to you?"

These four words were voiced harshly, concern vibrating ever so slightly inside them.

Blinking, I opened my mouth to respond, already wishing I hadn't opened the door this morning. And beating myself up for not covering the marks.

"Nothing," I denied, clutching my fist from swinging up in protest.

Really, I shouldn't have even left the warm sanctuary of my bed. It was so much safer in there.

But I knew who was behind the knock, and keeping the blonde out would only be prolonging the inevitable. Plus, show intense laziness on a Queen's part.

Although, if Loki showed up exactly as his brother did in the same apartment, I feared I wouldn't have a living space anymore.

"Thor," I tried again, more sternly, "it is nothing. Tripped, and fell on my face."

Just when I was sure he'd let it go, the man slammed the door behind him, vibrations bouncing off like a shotgun blast.

"If the door splinters, you're paying for it," I remarked firmly, shuddering at the thought of the landlady seeing the dismembered wood. She believed I was in the process of Alzheimer's already. No need to add bipolar disorder as well.

My mouth sealed back up when Thor started stalking toward me. With each step forward, I began a retreat, one hand extended before me in a warning.

"I'm fine, I promise."

"Do your eyes need washing?" Thor rumbled, keeping up with my pace. "You appear as if you've been-."

And suddenly, he paused, blue eyes narrowing.

I kept my expressions reeled in carefully, not wanting him to connect the source of the bruises.

But, it was too late.

"I will strangle him into submission!"

The last part came out in a near roar, and I couldn't help but be slightly impressed, even when I was petrified in place. If one was to put the thunder God into a cage full of lions, he would be the most true to his nature.

"Thor-," I tried.

"You let him do this to you?" he interrupted. "Had I known you were bluffing about protecting yourself, I would have never let you out of my sight."

Insulted, I clenched my jaw and marched forward.

"I am not constructed of glass!" I argued, index finger of my burnt hand nearly stabbing him in the chest. "And you do not know what occurred, so you have no reason to judge my strengths and weaknesses based on my appearance."

I was glad to find my tone just as biting as his own.

He blinked at this, eyes raking in my neck once again.

Then, a calm breath flew from his lips.

"Tell me what happened."

And this, I actually did consider expressing my amazement at. The strength it must have taken for Thor to say those words, despite the need to smash somebody's skull, really was quite inspiring.

Only when he was in a mildly less vicious mood, did I agree to his demand.

And so I began to explain, or at least outline, the topic of his brother's and my conversation late last night.

A few minutes of watching the tension seep out of his shoulders, allowed me then to begin recalling Loki's reaction to what I said to him.

The man listened far more patiently than I could have ever imagined he was capable of, but when I recounted the knee to the face and forced kiss, something dangerous flashed across his features. Like an abysmal, coal-black shadow sprinting across a pale cloud.

When I was done with the tale, arms crossed, and honestly, soul far less heavy at having revealed the events that had been keeping me in a constant state of unease for nearly an entire day, Thor did something else that surprised me.

Honestly, you'd think an Asgardian king couldn't surprise you repeatedly. Their motto had to be something to the effect of 'Eat, make love, and wield a big sword.'

But yet again, as in the alleyway, I was proven wrong.

He closed the few inches separating us, very much inside my comfort zone.

But instead of harming me, he reached out a few of his own stray, golden fingers and traced them over the black and blue around my throat.

"He will pay for this," the God vowed, his voice oddly soft for such a heated threat.

I swallowed, but this didn't deter the blonde's hand. In fact, he only took a step closer, fingers growing impossibly soft as they ghosted from side to side. They felt lighter than air. Lighter than helium.

Which was incredibly unique for a man of such brutish strength.

Desperately, I wanted to voice my admiration. But the technique in his fingers forced my head to expell only so much information at a time.

"What are you doing here?" I asked, hoping I didn't come off rude.

"Arrow boy told me of your condition," Thor explained, eyes following the trace of his fingers. "Should have informed me sooner."

"There's nothing you can do."

His fingers paused, eyes shooting back to me challengingly.

"Okay, okay," I recalled. "I suppose you could go charging after Loki, destroy Los Angeles again, and get S.H.I.E.L.D. to cover your butt. That's always a smart plan. But that will never heal the distance between you two."

Thor's expression turned sour for a moment.

"I'm willing to be a casualty in this negotiation," I informed. "It's the least I can do."

This time, the God dropped his fingers from my throat altogether, the warmth draining along with them.

"Why?" he demanded, eyes studying me. "You are risking your life to reunite a bond I am sure was broken long ago. Why is this so important to you?"

With each word, he began a quiet approach toward me, renewing our former predator-prey positions. That I really hadn't felt until his curiosity began manifesting itself. That's when the dangerous shadow I had seen, fled into the blue of his irises.

Of course I retreated, nervous about standing in place. The way his body arched forward, made it seem like he'd plow through me if I stood rooted to the floor.

For once, I actually decided to come clean. Not with the truth, of course. That would be revealing unnecessary information.

But a version of the truth that would successfully quench his curiosity.

"Are you ever afraid of dying alone?"

This wasn't what Thor expected. But to his credit, he did keep up.

"Whether I died alone or with a friend, it does not matter. Dying with honor would be a respectable death."

Nodding, because it was an answer I expected from an Asgardian king, I pondered over my next words carefully. I knew what I wanted to say, but Thor, always loved by his father and mother and the people of his realm, might not understand as well what Loki's envy and malice ignited from.

"Loki has nothing to feel honored about," I began. "He was never King, at least not one chosen and loved by the people. These same people who befriended him only to seek your approval. And I know it is not your fault, but in a way, you casted him out with your greatness. Followed blindly without wondering of the consequences. Forgot about him."

I paused, making sure Thor was taking in the words.

"So, Loki is left feeling rejected by his brother, unloved by his parents, dishonored by those he once thought acquaintances, if even that because I think he deduced their actions long before they revealed them. Has the knowledge that he is not even a son of Odin, thus everything is a lie in his mind. Nothing has provided him a sense of honor at this point, nor a true friend. Tell me...would you want to die this way? Madness eating at your mind and loneliness crumbling any new redemption you seek?"

Thor didn't answer immediately, chin jutted out in a semi-proud, semi-humble fashion. Great look, if you ever get the chance to see it.

"That is worse than death," Thor admitted slowly.

"This is what Loki feels, or at least a part of it. And I refuse to watch someone succumb to that kind of pain. To die alone with such sorrow in their souls. Do you understand?"

It took a while, but eventually, Thor nodded his head.

"And I'm not just referring to him," I pointed out. "You may have your honor, God of Thunder, but without his forgiveness, you are still very vulnerable. And very much in guilt."

There was an intensely crass silence afterward in which the expressions on Thor's face simply...stood immobile. As if his mind sucked them all in, only leaving a clean slate in its place.

"There is also the fact that if I let you two go at each other, you'll not only destroy yourselves, but the entire planet," I added.

I could never forget this prospect as well. Really, probably the root of the reason I first got involved.

Luckily, my explanation was enough.

"If my brother does this to you again, you are to tell me right away," Thor warned, eyes locked on to mine.

"This is supposed to be a message," I gestured toward my face.

"I am afraid I don't follow."

"The message, Thor, is go speak to the man! You have a better insight on him than I do. I am not going to take a busted lip and near suffocation for nothing."

Again, in the tips of my fingernails, even though I was partly joking, the briefest spur of anger licked its way over all five fingers.

Reel it in, girl. Reel it in. What am I even mad at anyway?

Just as I was to speak, say something to distract the tension igniting in my fingers, a ringing entered the room.

Let me mention first that Thor, yes, the one we all know as king of Asgard, was wearing blue jeans. I've never seen him appear so casual, and perhaps this had to do with the parting from his hammer. Certain outfits went with certain weapons.

Anyway, Thor reached into his front pocket and pulled out a cell phone. A grimace befell his features as he stared at the vibrating device for a few seconds.

"Let me," I offered, sensing his struggle.

He handed me the cell phone and I flipped it open, pressed the green button - I studied all of this from movies and being able to showcase the knowledge was rather exciting - and held it to my ear.

"Hey, bearded lady, get your thunder God ass back here. How long does it take you to take a piss? I wouldn't want to make Fury angry either. Haha, get it? Fury, angry. Anyway, hurry it up, unless you're still trying to woo your alien chick. If so, Banner owes me a twenty."

My heart, despite all of the unbearably tense and horribly ignorant things it's been through, decided to nearly stop altogether. It weren't so much the words as the expression Thor's face morphed into.

Like someone had whispered the naughtiest possible words into his ear, even outdoing his own guttural mind. The slant of his eyebrows down into a fury, the wide blue eyes like a portal, and mouth hanging slightly open like someone had taken a fierce crack at his jaw, dislocating it.

It wasn't too difficult to connect the fleeting expression with the cocky words emitted the cell phone.

And then, the device was yanked from my hand and Thor's face turned...well, appropriately enough, thunderous.

All I heard was the man mumble threateningly, "Stark."

Then, he held up a hand, which I assume was meant to indicate he'd be back.

Seconds later, the God had stomped out of my apartment.

Whoever this Stark fellow was, I really did not envy him at this moment.

Of course, there were also the words. The pesky words he'd said. The ones that had turned Thor's face into a tomato. And my own emotions to flip flop for a moment.

Was I really the alien chick Thor was attempting to woo?

Forget about it. This isn't your task. You know what Asgardian men are like.

It was easy to adopt this train of thought, but difficult to maintain it.

I'll admit, the feeling was euphoric. Someone liked me, if it were the case. Actually liked me.

The extent of that like was still to be determined and most likely would remain there, but the feeling enveloped me nonetheless.

And wouldn't you know it? My fondness for Thor only continued climbing.

TLOTLOTLOTLO

While the God of Thunder chewed out his caller, I risked a trip to the bathroom, just to see if I could do anything about covering the bruises. Was there a makeup coverage for shadow black?

Upon locking the door and placing myself before the dreaded mirror, I sighed.

Really, I was outstandingly plain. That couldn't have been the decision leading to my call as Queen.

Shoulder length, wavy, auburn hair. Sleepy, oval, chocolate brown eyes. Unusually short for beings of my realm, and entirely miniscule when compared to the two Gods. I'm sure they each had a good four inches on me. An ethereal, ivory pale was the skin pigment of choice, and I knew that were I under proper lighting for a long period of time, the skin tone would be noticed as unique, to say the least.

Probably ill.

This was the woman Jonathan became enlightened with...at least for an evening. While battling off his own loneliness.

A sullen laugh fell through my lips. I wasn't sure if that was a compliment or an insult. But hey, an experiment is an experiment. You never know where your feelings lead you until you follow.

As my eyes took the time to really study each section of my face critically, the first time I've had the chance to do so in a long while, I found my eyes descending to the bruises like an anchor personally weighed them down.

One finger tried to gently caress the distorted outlines, but it felt like sandpaper compared to Thor's expert fingers. Which was an odd thing to say. In the matter of three days, I let the blonde God put his hands on me at least two times. This was certainly some interesting behavior on both our parts.

A gulp made the bruises bulge out for a second, and a dull pain rocketed down soon after.

"Admiring my work?"

Jumping up in shock, I twirled around behind me. Only to see the producer of the bruises, standing no more than five feet away.

Let me explain that normally, his presence wouldn't have startled me so much. But this was before I decided to contain the dependence I had on the universe. Meaning I had to forcibly deny the shifts I felt in atmospheric tensions and atomic particles.

Also, this was Loki. The last time we chatted, well...I've been speaking about those consequences the entire day.

Combined with this was my pacifism. I couldn't do a damn thing if he was to attack me. He'd immediately note it and further have information on a race not supposed to be exposed.

"I do not recall cutting out your tongue two nights ago," Loki mused, posture relaxed back on to my shower. And the ever present, slight creep up of the lips, never left him.

"Sorry," I answered, observing him cautiously. "I didn't see you in the reflection."

"Simple childish illusions. One learns them relatively young."

Nodding, I crossed my arms for lack of a better thing to do. Suddenly, my tongue seemed to be stuck in the same manner that my eyes were when finding the bruises.

"Were you young when you learned them? Or did sorcery appeal to you later on?" I asked, shifting back into a neutral mindset.

"You are straying from the subject," he pointed out.

"So are you," I quipped back. "Perhaps that is all you are, Loki. A combination of simple, childish, illusions."

Really, I don't know why I chose to wind him up. Hadn't I been practicing caution the entire day and a half?

Then again, the words simply tumbled out like they were programmed into me.

The God, of course, did not take kindly to the comment.

"We will see what sort of power I truly hold when your little, human boy is dead," he mutinously promised.

For a second, I had completely forgotten he was referring to Jonathan. And despite the threat, a grin shot up to my lips.

Oh what would Jonathan think if Loki tried to kill him?

Here, take my underwear instead!

Shaking my head in amusement, I felt a steady pressure of tension pass out. Now that is a tremendous feeling.

"You even think about it and I'll make sure you never get your staff back," I declared.

Another malicious smile sprang up from him.

"I am beginning to wonder if you are not as virtuous as you claim to be. I have been able to easily subdue you, and you have nothing to respond with."

His expression was open, very eagerly wanting an answer.

"Not every creature hears the drums of war. If that were the case, madness would rule the realms through and beings like you and I could never exist."

Loki ventured a step toward me, eyes set on the marksmanship he'd left me with.

"Madness already rules me."

I didn't speak for a moment, absorbed with the way his green eyes stayed in rigid immobility. Yet, they were able to project a world he left unattended as well.

Would releasing that world mean the end of Earth?

"I don't think you're completely mad."

Swiftly, Loki's eyes shot up to my own and an indulgent grin greeted me.

"And I believe you are with a comment such as that."

"You're quite normal, though," I tried again. "Who doesn't crave love? Or affection? Or respect? You may have misconstrued the way to attain it, but really, the only madness inside you is the kind forcing you to not reconcile with your brother."

As paced as the words were, I did find them to be true. In fact, it wasn't until I spoke to Thor, that I found the ability to comprehend this thought.

Both Thor and Loki wanted the endearing love of their father. At one point or another, neither of them were able to get it.

Thor did not attempt to murder his own family members when this happened. He approached it from a different angle.

Loki did the exact opposite, and twisted the angle to form something it never was meant to be in the first place.

It wasn't the person who was truly consumed by madness. It were the ideas they were willing to set forth, which defined this and helped destabilize the being.

"Speaking of my long, whimsical speeches," I mentioned, "have you thought over what we talked about two nights ago?"

The God didn't speak right away. His eyes were trained on me again in that unnerving way that made me feel like something devious was running through his mind. Which lets be honest, there probably was in constant amounts.

"I did not think I did much of the talking," he replied neutrally.

"You were busy with the assaulting," I agreed. "But after you were alone. Tell me, even one word enter your thoughts? Or sentence? Or paragraph?"

"I thought of what I did to you."

My mind willed my feet to stay in position as Loki pushed a few more inches toward me.

"Proud of it?" I wondered. "Thrilled?"

"Initially. Your claimed strength did not protect you."

"Do you really think I'd display it before you?" I indignantly questioned, raising a brow.

"I considered this. But if you truly had abilities able to outmatch my own, you could have rather easily, stuck the oaf and I together."

Tilting my head at his proximity, I shifted back on to the sink behind me.

"I believe in this unheard of action called choice. Strange, isn't it?"

"And yet you grow impatient with the proceedings," Loki observed, now a mere three feet away.

"I prefer tense. I've caught glimpses of the most tragic parts of you both. When these two meet each other, I fear how traumatic the encounter will be."

"There will be no encounter."

"Says the God without a weapon. I know you Asgardian types. Without some form of defense, legitimate, magic-free defense, you are vulnerable. I plan to keep you and Thor inside of this vulnerability until an encounter is reached."

"Then slaughter us, right?"

"Why would I do that?" I asked, crinkling my nose at the thought.

"You fear our strength."

"Oh for the love of...Jonathan," I expelled, nearly rolling my eyes at the comment. "I assure you if I was after your prestige, I'd have wiped you both out the day we all first met."

"And why did you restrain yourself?"

"Because your prestige does not interest me and-wait, aren't we just going around in circles? Not only are you denying the point of the conversation, you're simply hoping I'll spill something on accident. I assure you, I'm far more skilled at keeping my secrets."

"Pity," Loki mumbled, green in his eyes suddenly taking on a brand new vibrancy.

As soon as the invisible tug called for me, I knew his intentions.

Hypnotization. Or a weak form of mind control.

The God honestly believed such abjured sorcery worked in a realm like Earth.

No. I personally read up on this type of magic, and realms who were regarded as the first of creation, contained the oldest type of particles needed to instigate this type of connection.

Earth, or Midgard, was the last realm created. Thus, this universe teemed with life far younger than some of the planets.

Some human minds, yes, might feel their control slipping at the invading force. But if not compounded with older particles from a far more ancient universe, the ability had little expectation of working.

But despite all this, I decided to keep contact with his gaze for a few seconds longer.

His puzzlement was entertaining to watch. First, he furrowed his brows. Then narrowed his eyes. Followed by blinking. Until finally, shaking his head.

"Nice try," I offered.

"That is-."

"Outdated sorcery. Whoever taught you...well, let's just say you got ripped off."

"How old are you?"

Confused by the sudden question, I felt a smile tugging at my lips. I wasn't sure which age would frighten him more. My human age, or my realm age.

"Approximately 23, give or take a few months. I prefer take."

My confusion was further fed when a triumphant smirk fell over Loki's features.

"You are older than any of the realms in existence."

Now, my confusion morphed into full blown bewilderment.

"I'm afraid I don't follow."

I literally had to fight my body not to retreat when Loki suddenly flung himself in my direction. This time, he was more cautious and instead, found the sink behind me.

Each hand found a grip on opposite sides, caging me between the utility and his own body.

"Your blood. I detected something different about it," Loki reminded, his glee nearly manic. "I spat up some of the residue."

"Ew."

"But do you not want to know what I found out?"

"Not particularly. You're not making any logical sense."

Loki's frustration began to seep in at my lack of excitement.

"Your blood does not match any other being from any other realm," he answered forcefully, leaning toward me.

"Preposterous," I deduced. "I'm a mix."

This time, an audible growl passed the God's throat.

"Would it not be more effective now to simply admit your ancestry? Or the race you are a part of?"

"My mother may have been human. She claims to have fallen in love with a dark elf. The dark elf's mother was a demon and the father, a dwarf. What a match, huh?"

Briefly, I braced myself just in case Loki planned on hitting me again. His eyes were certainly demonstrating that emotion.

"Tell me what you are!" he demanded, forcing his body toward me.

Despite the inch or so of space between us, I remained calm. Which struck me as odd. Perhaps seeing others lose control, only made me feel a greater amount of it.

"Tell me or I will-."

"Kill me?" I suggested. "Torture me? You do that and you're not getting your weapon back."

"I do not care about it anymore," he snapped.

"Then you'll have no objections if I gave it to Thor?"

Honestly, I wasn't sure how much more infuriated I could make Loki. His patience was on the verge of plummeting into an abyss.

I'm sure this was not how he planned to talk to me this time around.

"If you even think about-."

"You'll kill me? Ah, so we're back to the circles."

Loki's response was cut off by the slam of my apartment's front door.

Immediately, I glanced to the bathroom door, eyes wide.

A part of me wished I had spent a bit more time cherishing the items in my home. This might be the last time I ever saw them if a battle were to suddenly occur.

"Lucy?"

Before I could even think to reply, I felt Loki grab on to one arm and pull me toward him. And since there wasn't exactly a magnitude of space left, I smacked straight into his cold form.

Another hand clutched my chin, forcing my gaze into his own.

"What is he doing here?" Loki growled.

Startled at the ferocity in his tone, I had to remind myself what exactly Thor was doing there myself.

"A therapist does not simply see one patient," I informed lightly. "Plus, he was concerned about me. Isn't that nice?"

Loki's grip only tightened, pulling my face impossibly closer to his. So close to the God, in fact, allowed me to see specs of purple inside the sea of green.

"You flaunt yourself off to him as well?"

"No. No flaunting. Just talking."

"I do not believe you," he hissed.

"I don't flaunt. I talk. Just talk. See? Blah, blah, talk, talk."

My cheeks were erupting in flames at my own display, but my own frailty decided this was the perfect time to make its paranoid return.

Quite easily, Loki could kill me, it reminded.

"Lucy? Are you well?"

This time, Thor's voice sounded right outside the bathroom door. Something softened in my heart at the concern.

And once again, a morsel of luck struck me.

"If you are lying-," Loki whisper warned, an intense mixture, I'll have you know.

"-you don't have to worry. I would never set my standards so low as to an Asgardian male."

Apparently, this was the right and wrong thing to say.

It convinced Loki of my purity, but insulted him, as shown by his frown, because of the jab I'd taken toward the realm he was raised in.

But the frown sent a shimmer of hope through me. If he got insulted by my jab, then he still cared about his realm.

None of his following words had the proper time to be said for a second later, my bathroom door was ripped open.

At this exact same time, Loki's body turned toward his brother, dragging me along with him.

More specifically, right back into his body, only my back was to his front now.

When I had the proper chance to take Thor in, Loki already forced a hand threateningly around my own throat, renewing the pain in my esophagaus to a dizzying degree, while another hand gripped into my hair. Which I honestly was getting sick of being tugged by.

"Release her, brother," Thor demanded.

"You would like that, wouldn't you?" Loki snarled, voice infusing itself into the mass of auburn waves beside his mouth. "Almighty Thor, ready to save the day."

"She has no previous conflict with you. Let her go."

Loki debated the request for a minute, gripping me tighter to him.

"I find that since she has been so very eager to force herself into our feud, she should be here to witness this," Loki explained.

Rolling my eyes, I continued to make my body remain slack. Even when something inside me was rumbling in protest at such a simple submission.

"Fantastic time to use my actions against me," I mumbled.

"And do you not enjoy the words pouring from her lips?" Loki chided, pulling me back by the hair so my face could be in view of his wandering eyes. "Do you still think me sane, Lucy? I hold your life in my hand, no incentive to keep from ending it. Tell me how this God before you can possibly repair a tie when he so easily craves to destroy others?"

A build up of fear coursed through my veins, but it was nothing compared to the instinct to defend myself, fueled by a part of me I had thought I was keeping tame.

"Destruction, Loki," I breathed out, "is easy. And lazy. And is a coward's only friend. If you truly want to succeed, try rebuilding. It's the more difficult path, but ultimately, the power you gain is insurmisable to what little you have now."

From this angle, Loki's expressions were difficult to read. But my words seemed to calm the raging tide inside me, something I found to be a more important issue. Or else both men would see a display of something quite dangerous and spectacular.

"Brother, let her go and listen to what she says," Thor pled. "I am here. We can begin right here, again. Right now."

Transfixed by Thor's earnest suggestion, and Loki's cold hand, previously around my neck, beginning a slow maneuver over my chin with the tips of his fingernails, I continued to banish the need to retaliate.

Not now. Not when they might finally throw aside their own problems.

An eternity seemed to pass by as the three of us sat unmoving inside the bathroom. I couldn't read either man's expression, but I hoped for the best. For one to begin talking. And the other one to begin listening.

Out of nowhere, Loki's fingers suddenly ceased their wandering.

Instead, the one hand tangled in my hair, pulled me back to a standing position. The other hand, latched on to my jaw, then yanked backwards toward his head.

Finally, his lips neared my right ear, only an inch away. In fact, so close that his mouth tickled, even when he wasn't quite touching down.

"Dare me a causa," he whispered.

Containing the shiver, I blinked, struggling for an answer.

"Amat vos," I replied shakily.

"Non satis," he dismissed.

But I didn't believe him for a second.

"Probare."

And just like that, I was flung out of the God of Mischief's hands.

Thor caught me easily before I face planted into the tile flooring, but in return, I knew he lost the chance to reach his brother.

By the time we both turned to the area, Loki was nowhere in sight.

And my entire body, well, it felt repulsively empty. Like a torch had been unimaginably close to lighting the frost gathered there, but at the last moment, pulled away.

"I'm sorry," I offered minutes after.

Thor shook his head, glancing down.

But he did not reply, seemingly just as vacant as myself.

* * *

**The ending scene of exchanged Latin between Loki and "Lucy" was as follows. Loki : Give me a reason. "Lucy" : He loves you. Loki : It is not enough. "Lucy" : Prove it. This entire chapter was a roller coaster to write. I don't know if I'm happy with it, or if I'm angry. The relationship between "Lucy", Thor, and Loki is meant to be complicated and strenuous, but inspiring as well. She's intruded into their lives and attempting to bring the brothers back together. Obviously, there's going to be a bit of angst initially. But I hope to due away with it in the coming chapters shortly. Anyway, let me know your thoughts in a review!**


	8. Fire and Ice

**The reviews. That's all I've got to say. Thank you so, so, so much for them. I especially love the detailed ones. They help me so, so much in what to write the next chapter. You specifically, tainted-angel. Phenomenal stuff from all of you and just...thank you. I've been getting a lot of questions regarding pairings. I know what they are going to be already, have before I even began the story. So I thank you for your suggestions, but it's going to be what's it's going to be. And it may surprise some of you, disappoint, or make you squeal inhumanly loud. Who knows. But I'm taking careful precaution to simply let Lucy be oblivious to the main characters in this way. She's just trying to help them. But we all know that when she tries helping people, it doesn't always end up the way she intends. Anywho, hope you enjoy!**

* * *

**Chapter 8 – Fire and Ice**

An uncomfortable silence pierced the air after Loki's departure. Like the way unease develops in the bedroom of a married couple who've realized they no longer love each other. Which might be a bit of an exaggeration since Thor and I were hardly reminiscent of such a loving relationship.

Regardless, the languid tension felt like it could consume you at any moment.

Thor and I did everything in our power not to take each other in. There were too many unanswered thoughts with so little explanations, regarding what just occurred.

He stood uncannily still, too fidgety to remain seated, and I sat, too nervous to walk around. And wouldn't you know it; once again, I was exhausted from the day's events. Bones aching. Neves pulsing. Bruises throbbing.

The Asgardians' dilemma continued to do a heavy number on me.

"I'm sorry," I repeated, unsure how else to offer my apology without rambling.

In every sense, I felt myself to blame for not having the right words to keep Loki here, especially when the desperation in Thor's features had been so severe at the thought of his brother finally confronting the animosity between them. So very close to reconciling, to beginning negotiations.

Dissolved simply because I wanted Loki to prove to himself that the love he claimed was left unanswered, really was just waiting to be discovered.

"Do not blame yourself for my brother's lack of a backbone," Thor remarked, observing my worried features.

"But-."

"Lucy," he retorted, voice strengthening, "I believe you are doing everything in your power to bring us together, and I thank you for that. Today has been as close as I can recall to us actually attempting something so groundbreaking. I only hope your words serve as a reminder of what he has left when all of his other schemes, fail."

Tensing up, I released a forceful breath.

"You should keep an eye on him," I suggested, knowing the task would not be best suited for myself.

Actually, I had no idea what the hell Loki's intentions were toward me, or what brought on the strange behavior he'd displayed in the bathroom before Thor had sprinted in. It seemed like he was indulging, threatening, and studying me all at the same time. For what purpose, one could only spend eons pondering.

Such indecisive actions made me wonder if my statement of him not being completely mad, was preconceived.

No, it isn't. What he craves is something every being, no matter what realm, no matter how many emotions one must go through to find it, desires. He is no exception.

"I will have Clint stay within perimeter at all times," Thor promised.

Despite everything fighting to keep it down, a coy grin did spread over my lips.

"I've decided I'm going to make my apartment God-proof," I vowed.

Immediately, Thor's blue gaze shot to me, brows furrowing.

"I'm shielding myself off," I explained, knowing he'd have to be aware of my plan. "Just this once, I feel like I can afford to keep myself protected."

"I am afraid I don't understand."

Blinking, I glanced around the room. Really, this decision should have been implemented weeks ago.

Then again, weeks ago, I had not yet met Loki and I wasn't attempting to distance myself from the all knowing universe.

"The same way I was able to take away your weapon, will help me create a force field around my apartment. Strong enough to keep out Hel himself, if he so wished to enter."

Thor didn't speak initially, and I was quite sure my words didn't mean much to him. Already, he only saw the bruises I had failed to keep from attaining. Based on this, he determined my strength not to be up to an event so grand. One could tell just by the indulgent nod he gave me.

"I'm not up for anymore sparring between you two," I continued, ignoring his lack of conviction. "It feels like I'm caught in between two opposite forces, intent on pulling me apart. I need a bit of coverage, and a promise that I won't be murdered in my sleep. Plus, the tension is unbearable between you two and your stupidity, quite _in_credible."

"You dare call me slow of mentality?"

I laughed suddenly, the throbbing in my throat pulsing in reply. Thor's eyebrows had sprung up in a comic manner, or at least comic in my mind.

"Well...for not beginning this healing years ago, yes."

"I cannot say I envy the manners taught in your realm," he noted disdainfully.

"We're actually quite hospitable," I defended, mood improving severely at the jab.

But it lowered back down when I remembered what Loki had expressed about my blood. He noted the uniqueness of it, even if he couldn't recall the source.

Loki, while somewhat frazzled in intentions, was undoubtedly brilliant. What he'd actually discover about an untraceable blood source, I couldn't be sure.

Eventually, however, he'd understand there were more of others like me. And if he went to drastic measures to discover them...

NO.

That will not happen. I will not be the sole idiot to expose our race after billions of years in secrecy. NOT going to happen.

For the most part, this shot my confidence up.

Then back down it descended when I remembered I'd have to borrow energy from the universe to create the force field.

It's just a tiny bit. It's not like tapping into it will make me obsessively accustomed to using it again. I can still discipline myself not to depend on it.

Unfortunately, I could not deny the strange humming each time I witnessed injustice or felt anger rumbling inside me. And I knew without a doubt that the energy was directly linked to the universe.

Was the cause of the humming because I was denying my source for dependence? Or because of something that ran just a bit deeper?

"What are you thinking?"

Startled, my eyes shot back to Thor's. Which were a cool aqua. And in intense. Like they were seeing past the skin and bone, observing the secrets I kept so inflexibly hidden.

The stare combined with the kind show of concern, made me scramble for an answer.

"Who's Stark?" I blurted.

Immediately, the stare died and Thor glared down at the floor. I wasn't sure if this was out of anger, or embarrassment.

"Tony Stark," the God informed slowly, albeit a bit spitingly, clenching one fist.

My eyes widened, stunned I hadn't connected the man to the mask.

"Tony Stark...as in Ironman," I realized, announcing it more to myself.

I remember being worried a year ago, about the ascension of a man with superior technology over humans. It would have been so easy to use the abilities for an unlawful career of forcing humanity to submit to his whim.

But instead, the Ironman – and I suppose I must have heard his human name once, but never associated it with the man in the mask – kept Earth at peace to the best of his ability.

Granted, some of his heroism was probably fueled by his own guilt at having provided so much of the world with his own creations.

Still, he offered hope to a generation quickly diminishing into all out war.

"I hate to say this...I mean really hate to say this," I began, leaning back on the sofa with arms crossed, "but Loki kind of had a point. His insistence on having a ruler that will end wars based on creed, materialism, greed, any other thing one can argue about wanting, was somewhat sound."

"You are agreeing with him?" Thor questioned indignantly.

Sensing the upheaval in him, I waved a hand away at his protests.

"Just because he had a point about a ruler, does not mean I believe humans need to be subservient to some grown, otherworldly man in tights. He believes by renouncing all of our rights, this makes us truly free. I see a flaw here. If beings were meant to be slaves, they'd have been born without brains or voices or legs or arms. True freedom comes from the ability to overcome everybody else's perception, including your own, and reach absolution. It's not reliance on some power-crazed God who treats his people like filth. It's making decisions, having basic rights that makes us feel fulfilled."

"And you do not fear being submitted to this," the God surmised, venturing toward me.

"Not at all," I remarked. "And you may not believe in my strengths, Thor, but believe that I will do whatever it takes to keep the world safe and out of control of someone who plans harm to it."

The blonde paused directly before me, his own two arms crossed as well.

"S.H.I.E.L.D. would envy your spirit," he commented.

I flinched, then glanced down at my bandaged hand.

"I don't believe in fighting the opposition with more fighting," I confessed.

"It is defending," Thor argued.

"That's the oldest excuse for the instigation of wars. Each side believes they are defending, no matter who is good or bad. I understand frustration. Anger. Pain. Vengeance. But I don't understand how killing an innocent person causes these emotions to disappear. And I know S.H.I.E.L.D. doesn't participate in this form of sacrifice, but you've got to admit that had they the chance to harness an alternate form of energy, creating weapons wouldn't be out of the realm of possibility. Tragic, in a way. The only way to bring peace is to begin war."

If possible, my words made the apartment even more uncomfortable. Like the blanket of tension was now a leaden tarp.

"You have witnessed many wars ignite," Thor noted, kneeling before me. "Based on your ability to speak to myself and Loki as equals, I am to assume you do not often ally yourself to either cause. But I am curious, Lucy, if you ever choose sides? Not intentionally, but in your heart. Because no one can remain that un-conflicted."

"No, they cannot," I agreed, glancing up.

For a minute, I stayed mute, simply studying the blonde God before me. His face seemed to disclose a range of maturity I must have known lied within him, but never to such a concentrated degree.

This must be what Odin saw in him. The potential for so much, contained in a warrior's arrogance.

"My eyes are not blinded to either opponents' pain," I finally admitted, breathing out slowly. It was a question I had never been asked on my realm, and one I had hoped I wouldn't ever be. The conflicts behind it were too unsettling for myself and the duty I was sworn with. "But I help prevent the wars before I can choose a side."

For some reason this made Thor's lips twitch up.

"Your ability of dodging a question rivals my own brother's."

Smiling weakly, I avoided Thor's gaze.

"Perhaps that is why I try so hard to prevent them. So when the time comes, I do not have to witness myself choosing a side. Because you are right. No one can remain so un-conflicted. If a side is not provided an advantage over the other, the war will last lifetimes. I see this and I know that supplying both sides with an alternative is better than any thing else anyone could ever do. And that may sound proud of me to say, but I hold years of experience to know this is the truth. War is never the better choice."

"Where were you when I was learning this lesson?"

"In a coma."

"How convenient. So was my father."

This time, my smile was far less somber. I stole a glance at him, noting how he was still on his knees before me. If only Asgard could see him now.

"I am sure you share your father's wisdom," I said. "Use it."

His eyes didn't shrink away from mine, and this time, I indulged his stare as the same shivers I'd gotten when he'd rubbed over my neck with such ductile fingers, pricked invitingly over my skin.

And just when I was sure our remaining time together would only consist of a staring match, Thor leaned forward.

I kept telling myself it was a comfort kiss. We were both still a bit shaken up by Loki's malice toward himself, and discussing the politics of war submerged us into despondent moods.

Tried, being the key word.

Whatever the spark was, I did meet his lips half way. And wouldn't you know it, my arms soon followed after, grabbing on to his shoulders.

It wasn't anything I expected it to be, or perhaps I simply thought this just because Loki's had been so merciless. Even if you could call it a kiss.

Thor's lips were unbelievably gentle, invading only when he was sure I could handle it. We met each others taste for taste, and stroke for stroke. And along with the kiss came the reemergence of the alien scent of nature's seasons and a further tingle, this time far below my tummy.

I knew these warning signs, had felt them in Jonathan's presence, and yet a selfish part of me only urged me onward. To neglect duty for pleasure, no matter how fleeting it would be.

Luckily, I was a being who pondered an unnecessarily lot. And when our mouths opened up to each others, Thor's hands pulling me nearly off the sofa so I'd be almost laying on him, I finally reached a stable set of mind.

Not without difficulty, however.

"We can't," were the first words breathed out of my mouth right after I physically detached our lips. No longer did I wonder how Thor's bed could have been warmed so many nights when the man lacked a gentleman's charm. He was an experienced, and passionate kisser.

"Why not?" he questioned, eyes pasted to my mouth.

I did give him a bit of credit for not putting too much pressure on my wounded lip.

Twisting myself out of his suddenly firm grip, I continued the distancing by grabbing on to the sofa behind me and dragging myself backward. After this, I released sigh.

"More important things at stake," I responded, knowing I was holding back on all the reasons why pursuit would be futile. But this was the one I was sure Thor would see the most logic in.

"I respect the rationality of this," Thor finally said, eyes scanning over my face. "But after-."

"It wouldn't work."

This came out a bit more rash than I intended, but I needed him to know this. While I felt like I was also throwing him into the same crash course that was Jonathan, I also knew that dilly dallying around with the king of Asgard would only progress into something very, very bad.

Right now, I needed to prove my worth and love for my realm, not jump ship and slip into the arms of a king.

And maybe he doesn't mean this exchange to be a long time affair. In that case, it's a fantastic idea to hold off.

Before I could divulge my sentiments, Thor was on his feet. I guessed he had read the answer on my expressions.

"I did not intend to force a response for you," he observed. "That was-."

"Don't worry about it," I shrugged off. "Comfort kiss. That's what it was."

His nod informed me the exact opposite, but I strove on with this reasoning for both of our sakes.

"Keep track of your brother's whereabouts. He won't be able to appear in my apartment anymore. Then again, neither will you, after today."

"Because of a force field you plan on creating?"

"You must have missed Odin's lesson when he explained a King was supposed to be supportive and optimistic."

His skepticism lessened and he offered an apologetic shrug.

"How will this influence you helping me?"

"Well," I pondered, ignoring the buzzing still prominent in my lips, "I've been kind of intruding as of late. Especially with what happened today. Know that I'm sorry I scared him off when he'd been so close. I need a bit of a vacation from you two."

"Does this vacation have an end date?"

"I don't know. Maybe when the next danger arises. Until then, I suggest you keep on searching for him. Play upon his hope for squandering the turmoil inside him. And actually help him get over it. Even if you don't know realize it, you're the stronger one right now."

This comment seemed to make the God a tad more confident. Just from the way his shoulders eased down and his chin lifted up.

"Until then, you will be sealed off from us?" he repeated.

"Not unless I step out of my apartment. But you've got your hands tied with Loki. And I may stay inside just to see if my lack of interference brings about anything good."

"I must admit, you are making this force field sound rather tempting to try out."

Catching the challenge in his voice, I offered him a roguish grin.

"You will be sorry if you do," I promised.

And of course, this only seemed to make Thor perk up more.

"That is my personal warning. Do not attempt to break into my apartment, enter without permission, or teleport inside. If it is urgent, knock. The door is not a part of the field."

"If I don't?"

I reeled in my grin only out of courtesy.

"Then you're going to be sore. That's all I'm going to say."

TLOTLOTLOTLO

Two hours after Thor had departed and I'd offered a wave at Clint's still form near a lamp post, my palm was gliding over each wall of my apartment. Contact was needed to input the momentum and so far, I had gotten every room's wall but the front door's and the kitchen's.

To my surprise, when I first began the harnessing of energy strong enough to fend of the evocative abilities of a God, the transaction was made without a word.

I gave my thanks, but even then, the universe remained silent.

A simple touch of each wall was all I needed to do to set up the restrictions, and as the energy slid out of me like a thin, transparent sliver, I felt my own internal peace settle down within me, coupled with immense relief. I was no longer the ineffectual woman both Gods saw me as. With the intensity of what coursed through my veins, I knew I could bring about the beginning or the end for all of mankind.

But I didn't need so much power. And my body did not yearn for it like I imagined certain beings did. I understood I had to face one problem at a time, and defense was at the top of the list. Not conquering.

After that, the energy would go back to its rightful place and I'd be back to containing its influence. Simple as that.

However, somewhere between safe guarding the living room wall and the bathroom, I glanced down at my burnt limb, only to find that it no longer throbbed with unresolved anger.

I had hoped it wouldn't mean what I thought it did, but upon unwrapping the bandage, my theory was confirmed.

Staring back at me was a completely healed again limb, no sign of burns in sight.

The universe cared very much about the protection of the Queen. That is why its abilties were given to us.

Unfortunately, witnessing my injuries recede made me feel shameful. Like I had taken the easy way out, even when I didn't conduct this sudden healing. This was the universe at work. A universe, that refused to speak to me.

_"Can't I keep the injuries just so I can learn to get used to them? How will I know to experience real pain if it is marked away constantly?"_

But the universe remained stubbornly quiet, or perhaps simply had nothing to say.

Personally, I was more convinced of the former. It had never ignored me in the three years that I've been in contact with it. Denying me now meant I had insulted it somehow. Which is silly to think of. Insulting a universe. But only in my life were such odd things possible.

Easily, I sped my now healed hand over the last wall in the kitchen. If what I planned indeed did occur, no other worldly being would be able to penetrate the walls to my apartment. If they did-.

Well, they would find out.

Fighting off a smirk, I rubbed my fingers into the kitchen wall one last time, the last spurts of energy filing out, before retreating my limb.

One problem solved.

Closing my eyes, I attempted to relax my body and focus on the blackness typical of a conversation with my supplier. Although, now that I think of it, I sound as if I'm speaking of getting drugs. Los Angeles truly reinvented my vocabulary, that's for sure.

Instead of forcing out the energy ricocheting inside me, my body kept on buzzing, relishing in the withheld comfort that was the universe.

Damn. How much is it a part of me?

_"You've got to take back the supply you've given me, now. A being cannot possibly remain impartial to pain their whole lives. I must learn to get used to this."_

Nothing replied.

_"I'm sorry if this distance I've been keeping, has forced you into a wordless mutiny. But I need this release of dependence right now. You know how touchy the situation is with Loki and Thor."_

A brief shudder broke through me, starting at my legs and ending at my hips. I didn't know what this meant, but all of a sudden, I felt a tug in my tummy. Like a piece of string was attached to my waist and someone decided to pull, sending me forward.

The sensation didn't hurt, but as soon as it occurred, I felt empty once more. As if a blanket that had been keeping me warm throughout the chill night, was ripped off and my body was once more exposed to the brutal shift in degree.

Exhaling carefully, and still a bit shaken up from what had just been exchanged, I found my feet carrying me over to the mirror beside the kitchen.

Once I had regained balance within my feet, I straightened up slowly and took a long look at the person staring back.

My skin was completely unobstructed from a single bruise or gash. A previously blackened throat with slivered moons engraved from furious fingernails, now shown its normal pale. Torn bottom lip was now a smoothed over red.

Opening up my mouth, I closed it soon after. Really, I didn't know what to say. I had a defiant universe who wouldn't speak to me, but healed my wounds, wouldn't explain why I spazzed out with sudden bursts of energy, but eventually listened to my command.

"This here, is some crazy shit."

And my newly healed reflection nodded in agreement.

TLOTLOTLOTLO

An entire week passed by and I didn't hear from either Thor or Loki. Really, I was more relieved I hadn't heard anything about a battle beginning downtown. This meant some sort of progress was being made, even if I wasn't aware of it.

Since the force field had been implemented, my moods tended to be higher than usual. Because yes, I can complain all I want to my source of power for being stubbornly quiet when I attempted to speak with it, but when you get to the real point of it, the universe made me feel safe. More so than just as a source of power. It made me feel content with life around me. Confident in small ways that hope existed even in the costliest of times.

So, my silent squabble with the universe didn't weigh incredibly heavy on my heart over the seven days. Although, I couldn't forget the feeling of being tugged forward or being healed without consent. Which really, I shouldn't have been complaining about. Millions of beings thirst for some sort of cure for their own ailments.

No, it was actually more troubling because I felt like I would never get used to physical pain if I was never able to experience it. In fact, there was only one major shriek of pain I'd ever truly felt. And that was of the blue mark both Loki and Thor had noted indented in the flesh between my collar bone and shoulder.

I can't even properly remember exactly what happened to garner the injury, but I knew the pain to be severe. Like all of the nerve endings in the area, had died altogether. The pain had been enough to make me pass out as a child, and upon my awakening, I remembered little to nothing. All I knew was my mother tending to the wound, mumbling that I should be more careful when playing outside. She never explained what happened.

Clicking on the television, I nearly missed altogether, the soft tap against my window.

Glancing over, I smiled at the figure perched on the ledge. Honestly, the man was a bird trapped in a man's body.

"Mr. Barton," I greeted after pushing up the window. Today was one of those remarkably pleasant days during a chilly month. The sun was out. Streets were polluted with wanderers, craving amusement. Even some windows were welcoming the brief stanch of pleasant weather.

"Lucy," he responded, "could I come in?"

"A bit of an unconventional way to ask," I noted.

"This just means I like you," Clint smiled, brown eyes settled on my own.

Shrugging, I stepped away as he hopped inside, feet landing gracefully upon my carpet. Without a doubt, I envied the man's fluent moves. He could make being kicked in the ass, a beautiful dance.

"What do I owe the pleasure? Has Hasham set up his coffee vending yet?" I asked, venturing to the living room.

"No. He's still working on repairing the last one that Impala ran into."

Flinching, I felt my nerves sigh with discontent. Hasham truly served some of the best coffee I knew of. Plus, it gave me an excuse to go out and converse with people. Most notably, the man currently in my apartment.

"Just felt like visiting?"

Clint scanned his surroundings, features attempting to detect something.

"Thor mentioned you've got this place protected."

Freezing, I turned toward the man.

"He told you that? Please tell me he didn't tell your organization of this."

"Of course not. He's attempting to keep your origins, whatever they are, covered. But I was expecting a bit of a...challenge, maybe."

Surprised, I didn't contain the grin at his slight disappointment.

"The field only works against magical beings."

"Ah."

"Yep."

We met each others eyes, then glanced away.

"Your bruises healed incredibly well. And your hand doesn't even appear red anymore."

Laughing, I crossed my arms and fell back on to the sofa.

"Good genes."

He nodded, moving into the space as well. The faint murmur of the television occupied the sudden silence between us.

"What do you know about what's going on between Thor and Loki?" Clint asked, getting down to the point.

Keeping my face blank, I glanced down to the carpet.

"I'm afraid I need you to elaborate."

"Gladly."

Then, he sat across from me on the Ottoman.

"Two weeks ago and they were beating the living hell out of each other."

Inclining my head, I silently asked for him to continue on.

"Now...Loki's not in sight and Thor is rarely around anymore."

"You are aware that they're in a bit of a feud, right?"

"I think we both know it's more than that."

"Well...I do know Thor had been meaning to reconcile with his brother rather than fight him. Perhaps this is the cause for a lack of violence."

Clint studied me for a moment, and I couldn't help but be impressed with his measured scan. If S.H.I.E.L.D. ever didn't want him, I would be happy to claim him for my own palace.

And this thought forced a chuckle out of me. By far, Clint was a fantastic display of the common human. Well, not exactly common as he tended to work for a superhero organization and was more gifted with certain trades. But he exalted emotions without fear. He did not attempt to contain all of the bad ones. I caught them at times, soaring over his features.

The man was not afraid to disclose his own unhappiness.

With such liberating abilities to express himself, he'd be contained within the Gelida Spelunca upon arrival. And yet, this only made me want him around me more. As a form of rebellion against containing that which made us real.

"Thor comes back with bruises sometimes," Clint admitted.

"Really?"

This was news to me. But I hoped it meant exactly what Clint implied.

"Do you think they're reconciling then?" I wondered aloud.

"Funny way of showing it."

"Imagine Loki was your brother."

"You do realize you've just left me with a terrible thought for the rest of the day."

This time, my chuckle was replaced with a natural laugh.

"Sorry," I grinned, pressing a hand to my cheek. "Just trying to throw it into perspective."

"So are we. If Loki is planning another attack, much like the one you prevented, we need to be ready. But Thor, to nobody's surprise, is staying silent on what's going on."

Scratching at my knee, I felt unsure exactly what to say. I promised Thor not to get involved right away because I felt responsible for scaring Loki off the last time. Then again, I needed to know their progress. The sooner I was aware, the sooner I could go home.

Even if I was going to say something, it would have been interrupted by the shrill of Clint's cell phone.

"Sorry," he said, eyes scanning the number, "I've got to take this."

"Thanks for the information."

We threw a final smile at each other before the man left the exact same way he came in.

TLOTLOTLOTLO

As afternoon plunged into the evening, I was in the middle of attempting to contact the universe again, almost on the verge of calling it a livid child, when someone rapped against my apartment door.

I didn't think much about answering it. In fact, I almost hoped it was Jonathan.

Although our experience had left me at odds with the man, I still craved his optimism and love for films. I learned much about human behavior through them.

What I did not expect upon opening the door, was to find Loki standing there.

"Hello," I said, taking in his regal form. The man was probably getting accustomed to wearing a trench coat because of his missing weapon, and a part of me marveled at the thought that I was the reason for him ushering in a new form of fashion.

The God didn't appear happy, and this was the first thing that made me relieved I hadn't ventured further outside the door.

"I cannot get inside your home," he began slowly, eyes studying me accusingly. "I can practically taste the essence pouring out."

When I didn't answer, instead, focusing on a new cut below his chin, Loki stepped forward.

He too must have heard the crack of energy at his action, but I doubt it was as prominent in his ears as it was in mine.

"I believe humans call it a house alarm. Nifty, huh?"

Loki's eyes narrowed, scanning the entry way once more.

"What would happen if I were to attempt entrance?"

My grin nearly made my teeth shine.

"You may not be blood relatives, but I'll be damned if you're not Thor's equal in your thirst for stupidity."

His next words were bitten down on, and instead, his eyes focused back on me. Then, widened.

"Your wounds are healed."

"Yep."

"Pity. I quite enjoyed them."

"You are more than welcome to attempt to give me more," I challenged.

A quick smirk befell his features, and slowly, Loki pressed both of his palms on either side of the doorway. I didn't miss the trepidation in his actions however.

"You may think yourself clever with your defenses, but do you honestly believe they will keep out a God?"

I thought quickly.

"Yes."

Loki took a step forward, and again, the energy pulsed, but this time, undetectable to his ears. Which made me fight to contain a grin. The field was toying with him. Making him confident that my set up was weak.

"I am warning you," I offered. "If you try, it's going to hurt."

"Attempting to cover your fear?"

"You know I'm not. Although, I'm curious as to why you suddenly want to see me."

"The last place my brother would search for me," he replied, frowning.

"So you two have actually talked?"

"I cannot say all of it was verbal."

"But you've talked."

For a moment, I was sure Loki would shy away from the question. Like he did from confrontations which held the possibility for him to lose.

Instead, he surprised me.

"We have."

"And?"

"And he has reminded me why exactly I was happy he'd been banished to Midgard in the first place."

Sighing, I released the tension in my shoulders.

Loki watched all of this curiously.

"You truly wish for us to reunite, don't you?"

"No," I chided, shaking my head. "I didn't take your weapons, send back your army, face a brutal thrashing from you, endure threats on my life, and face a whole lot of emotional turmoil because I wanted you to reunite. That's just something I do for fun."

Again, a smirk entered his features, but this one, if you could even call it such, was warmer.

"You were the topic of our last conversation."

For some reason, a shiver crawled through me. I wasn't sure if it was the way Loki mentioned this, low and inviting, or the way his green eyes swept over me when he let out this bit of information.

"I hope in good respects," I remarked.

"It was. I sent my brother through a window after he claimed you kissed him."

"You most likely provoked him into admitting this. He would have never said anything on his own."

"But you do not deny it."

"It didn't mean anything," I said, wondering why all of a sudden I felt like I had to defend the kiss. In fact, that's what the whole week felt like. Blocking it out so I wouldn't think it meant anymore than it did.

Which it didn't.

"Do you normally make it a habit of seducing brothers?" Loki questioned, venturing another step forward. Now, he stood not even a full inch away from the field. "I do believe they have women on this realm who are quite talented with this as well. They linger on nearly every street corner, almost every night."

I couldn't prevent my mouth from opening, shocked at what he was implying. Which of course, was his point. The trickster wanted to lure me out somehow.

Two can play that game.

"Afraid your brother was the better kisser?"

And this was the last forced bit of patient Loki seemed to have.

With a quick laugh, he lunged forward.

Although I knew what was going to happen, I still couldn't help but watch in amazement.

Like a rubber ball bouncing off of cement, Loki's body slammed into the invisible field, then bounced off with the intensity of a lightning bolt.

He flew backwards, eyes wide in surprise, directly into the wall ten feet behind him, body flying through the plastered walls and leaving a circular indentation.

I couldn't help the simultaneous laugh and gasp from speeding out. He actually did it.

My amusement was cut short, however, when I witnessed smoke spewing from the God. Who by the way, was still embedded in the wall he'd been blasted through.

"Ah shit," I mumbled, noting the lack of response from the man. "I can't believe he actually did it."

* * *

**Thought best to leave it here since then if I added in the second part, it'd be too wordy. Anyway, hope you enjoyed and let me know your thoughts in a review!**


	9. Starcrossed Nights

**I just want to apologize for how long it's taken to update. Some unforeseeable complications arose and as a result, updating has been difficult. And when I finally did get the chance to work on this chapter, I'm telling you, it was difficult. I felt like I'd lost the voice of the character and nearly had to force out each action and dialogue. I hate writing like that. But I knew I couldn't put off this chapter until I felt it convenient. So, here it is. I can't say it will be fantastic, but I owe this to everyone who's been loyal and reviewed. Fantastic reviews, by the way, as always. I love hearing my reader's thoughts. Hopefully, this doesn't disappoint too much. And know that I haven't abandoned this story. Just keep on checking your inbox and eventually, you will get an update. Enjoy!**

* * *

**Chapter 9 – Starcrossed Nights**

"What the hell happened?"

Cringing, I ignored the voice as my grip on Loki's ankles tightened.

Throughout this entire time, I was battling off amusement and horror. And perhaps just the tiniest bit of guilt.

I did warn him.

But the thought of a God being indented into a wall, couldn't stop from making my lips quiver in barely concealed mirth. Really, Loki's downfall came from never listening to anybody else's advice but his own.

With a soft grunt, I tugged on his legs.

The God barely stirred at the action, and I wasn't sure if this made me feel pleased or dismayed at the force field having done so much to subdue him.

Good grief, I hope he's not dead.

Luckily, my strength had more to show than my restrictive laughter.

A few good tugs later, followed by colorful, internal cursing, and I finally had Loki deposited on the carpeted floor.

One thin line of blood sped from his temple and I fell to my knees, concern overriding everything else.

"Lucy?"

Nearly forgetting the figure above, I glanced up, the slightest bit of panic rushing through me.

"Jonathan."

"What happened?"

"That's not the primary concern. Do you have something we can clean him up with at your apartment?"

The man nodded hastily, eyes scanning over my unconscious companion. His eyes widened as he did a double take.

"Isn't this your ex?"

It took me a full second to comprehend what he was talking about.

"Yeah," I tried laughing, "can you help?"

"But-."

"I know. Unfortunately, it appears as if I've actually hurt him this time. Please?"

Jonathan shifted on both feet, features attempting to decipher the best course of action.

"Okay," he finally agreed, "let's bring him to my apartment."

Nodding, I quickly shot to my feet.

Together, we gathered Loki by sliding one hand underneath his back. When I was sure I could support the weight, we lifted.

"Forget what I said about him looking hungry," Jonathan puffed, dragging the man across the carpet with a grimace. "This guy's got an iron diet I don't know about."

"You have no idea."

Five minutes later and we had successfully deposited Loki onto a maroon sofa, laid out in a manner I couldn't help but note was very un-God like. One hand flung off the sofa carelessly, another leg following the same pattern while his mouth hung open, just waiting for some sort of debris to drop in.

As Jonathan fumbled around behind me for a wet towel, I placed both of Loki's limbs on to the sofa and pressed two fingers to his pulse.

Well, at least he's still alive.

And this decreased my panic immensely. As far as I knew, the force field's intention was not to harm, at least not initially. It reflected the intentions of the pursuer.

If Loki was unconscious, it simply meant he had no immediate purpose to harm me. Or at least I hoped not.

"Here, take this."

Without turning, I lifted my hand and felt the cold cloth squish down into my palm.

Gently, I eased the cloth over Loki's forehead and began lightly dabbing at the blood trail. It had already reached down to the corner of his lip.

After a minute or two of doing this, I heard a cough to the left of me.

"So erm...what exactly happened?"

Sighing, I wiped away the last of the scarlet and worked on simply patting his forehead.

"I got mad and pushed him."

"…through a wall?"

Peeking at Jonathan from beneath my lids, I smiled sheepishly.

"I'm high in iron as well."

My neighbor's features contorted into confusion.

"I'm guessing this is one of those situations where I won't like the real answer."

"That's...about accurate."

When I was sure Loki wasn't in any immediate danger of long term head trauma, I handed the cloth back to Jonathan.

"Thank you very much for this," I said, facing him. "Not everyone would be willing to help out someone in need of assistance."

It was the first time we really had the chance to have a proper conversation since the night we had sex, which conveniently, he couldn't remember. All because of the man on the sofa.

Funny how the world works.

"Not a problem. He didn't try hitting you, did he?"

Thinking back to my newly healed bruises, I scratched at the back of my head.

"Not really. As you can see, I did most of the damage."

The brunette nodded, rubbing his hands.

"I've actually got work in a few minutes…"

"Do you need me to-?"

"No, I trust you," he replied."Question is, can I trust him?"

When the gulp flew down my throat, I hoped he didn't hear it. There were literally a hundred and one reasons settled on the tip of my tongue, on why exactly allowing hospitality to a murderous alien was a bad idea.

But intelligent me, stayed silent.

"Of course," I answered with a comforting smile. "He's in pain now anyway. What could he possibly do?"

"Alright. Start thinking if there's anything else you need of me before I get going."

"Will do."

"And Lucy…I've got to ask."

At his inquisitive gaze, I held in a tense breath.

"Go ahead."

Jonathan's eyes scanned over Loki's form once more, expression unreadable.

"Why does he smell like he's just been barbequed?"

Containing the rising in my lips, I offered him a solemn stare.

"He's naturally hot."

One corner of Jonathan's lips twitched in amusement, but otherwise, he only sent me a nod as if that explained everything. Then, he ventured to the next room, muttering about attire for the evening.

Once alone, I turned back to Loki and began a motion of running the pads of my fingers over his features, beginning with his pale, moist forehead and sauntering down to the bridge of his nose. I meant to do it as a sort of consolation as retribution for my actions, but quickly, I found that the wandering eased my mind as well.

Honestly, the God really was quite handsome when he wasn't pinched up in anger or smirking in hate or grinning in malice. In fact, one could argue his looks rivaled his own brothers', although not something one could pick up on instantly. He had a subtle beauty that you didn't see until perhaps moments before your own demise.

Or when he was unconscious.

Flinching, I felt the guilt seep back inside me.

I knew I meant to do it for protection, but seeing somebody physically injured due to my actions, didn't prolong the side effects of culpability. A Queen helped, not harmed.

"Sorry," I offered, thumb gliding over his cheek.

The longer my fingers stayed trailing his features, the more enamored I seemed to become with them.

I didn't know if it was my childish innocence of exploring a man's face or simply the way Loki's brow stooped in thought, even whilst unconscious, informing me that whatever haunted him, dipped into his subconscious as well.

Whatever my…fascination, I closed my eyes in response, willing myself to override the guilt and reach out to the universe, which was in its own way, responsible for Loki's current state.

Sort of.

But just as the days before me, I got nothing. Not a buzz. Not a prod. Not even an acknowledgment.

"Tenacious creation," I muttered.

And just when I was ready to attempt another contact, I felt something icy wrap around my wrist.

My eyes shot open, only to find Loki's green glare aimed straight at me.

I tried not to gasp at this sudden awakening or the hand wrapped around my wrist like an immovable bracelet.

Internally, however, I knew I didn't quite succeed. Even when within view, the God of Mischief still seemed to carry the element of surprise. Impressive, but deadly.

The ten seconds passing by definitely did nothing to ease my state of mind. I was hopelessly aware Jonathan still lingered inside the apartment, and in possible danger. I was also denying my flinch at how brutal of a grasp my wrist was caught in. And finally, I was irrevocably curious toward what exactly was going through Loki's head.

What were an individual's thoughts after nearly being electrocuted to death?

Eventually, the tension got to be too much, and slowly but surely, I gained back my voice.

"I did warn you."

Loki exhaled, and then ever so slightly, decreased the pressure around my wrist.

Quietly, he leaned his head back on the sofa, eyes still glued to mine.

"You could have warned me a bit more thoroughly," came his accusation.

The grin crept over my lips without notice.

"I'll remember that the next time."

The God ripped away his focus from me, instead, fixing it onto the ceiling above. With my hand still remaining his captive, by the way.

Let me mention that having your wrist gripped in not only a God's hand, but a Frost Giant's, isn't the most pleasant of experiences. It feels as if all of the veins have frozen and the blood, melted into an icy lake. And the fact that Loki was inhumanly strong, only adds to that helpless feeling of having something you love, caught in a trap.

Actually, it wasn't until I had no control over my hand, that I realized how much I've taken it for granted.

"I feel very peculiar," he voiced softly.

Trying to keep my tone light, I said,"In what way?"

"I cannot describe the sensations. But I feel very much like I imagine an unfortunate recipient of Thor's hammer would, were they struck with it."

With the hand not caught in a death grip, I lowered it casually over one of Loki's hands, settled haphazardly across his stomach. Just from a few millimeters away, I could confirm this theory. His entire body buzzed, still in shock from the jolt he'd received.

"You'll stay that way for a while. Mainly, it's to remind you what happens if you try a repeat performance."

Loki remained mute, still observing the ceiling.

During this duration, I nonchalantly attempted to twist my arm out of his grip. I wasn't sure how to delicately word that I would greatly enjoy still having a hand, and I really didn't want to anger him in such delicate surroundings.

But the God was far more aware of my intentions than I realized.

"Why was your hand upon me?" he demanded.

Confused, I found my eyes examining the cut in his hairline.

"You were bleeding. I dabbed it up. After that, I guess…it was out of comfort."

His eyes shot back to mine, studying me suspiciously.

"Don't tell me you're insulted by a being lower than you, having the nerve to touch your immaculate features," I jested lightly.

Tightening his hold, Loki's eyes strayed to the limb he had on lock down mode. I thought for sure, he would attempt to snap it out of anger.

But instead, he released it. Like one would do so to a particularly disdainful flower that hadn't satisfied its purpose for being picked.

Despite the shiver and light blue bruising surrounding my wrist, I remained silent. Compared to the shape he was in, I really had no reason to vent.

"Did you really hate my ministrations that badly?" I wondered, hoping my small talk would be an amiable distraction.

Loki didn't speak for a moment, seemingly lost in thought.

Only after a minute, did a slow grin spread over his lips.

"When I am the sole ruler of this realm," he announced proudly, gaze fixed on me, "you will be my personal servant. This will include feeding me, and of course as you so artistically displayed, relaxing me."

A snort sprung from me before I had the chance to contain it.

I really didn't know why these sorts of musings from the God amused me so much. Was it the absurdity of ruling a world? Perhaps a bit of over confidence on my part because I knew I had something which would outweigh his sorcery any time? Or the fact that I knew without a doubt, his plans would never fall through?

Whatever the reasoning, Loki's smile disappeared in response to my impolite display.

"Sorry," I breathed out, bringing a hand to my chest. "That was…rude of me. Please, continue with your world domination plans."

The next look he threw me was absolutely acidic, and I noted he had a split second intention of rising from the sofa. But for whatever reason, he kept himself grounded.

"I have more tricks up my sleeve than you are aware of," he remarked enigmatically.

Nodding, I smothered down my smile and went back to watching him.

"Since your malicious humor isn't lacking, tell me, are you alright?"

This time, it was his turn to laugh in my face.

"I should kill you for daring to harm me," he declared, eyes gleaming.

Strangely, the threat wasn't as serious when he was the one injured.

"Just like you're going to kill me for taking your staff?" I finished with a raised eyebrow. "Here come those circles again."

"Do you always have to ruin the fun?" he denounced, grin dispersing.

"Absolutely not. I just have a very different definition of fun than you do. Which doesn't include physically assaulting random beings."

The God gave what was supposed to be a scoff, but really came out more of an annoyed growl.

"I do not know what kind of being personally gets gratification from inserting themselves between two warring aliens. Perhaps I have no plans on figuring out what you are anymore," he coolly mentioned.

"Oh what a relief," I sighed, moving to stand.

Before I could even get a knee up, Loki grabbed the same arm he'd latched on to minutes prior, and tugged down until I stumbled back on my knees once more.

"Surely, you are aware of sarcasm?"

Although I couldn't hint at the tone, Loki's almost seemed imploring.

"Yours is something I still have to get used to."

For this comment, Loki shot me a self-satisfied smirk.

"I want to know," he began, eyes scanning the apartment, "where I am."

Glancing down at the hand he kept locked on mine, I offered him a meaningful stare that said 'let it go or I won't say a word'.

"I do not believe one speaks with their hand," he advised, pulling me further toward him.

Anymore tugging and I'd easily be on top of him. Something eerily reminiscent of kissing his brother.

And that thought just had to occupy my mind then and there, didn't it?

Taking in his grin, I shot him one of my own before slowly raising the middle finger of the hand he clutched onto.

"Classy as ever," he smirked, releasing the limb.

"Earth has some very peculiar gestures of irritation," I admitted, feeling a tad light headed at the near contact.

With my words, he flinched. And soon after, his grin fell.

"Your importance decreases each time you embrace one of these pathetic gestures," he vented. "Silly, meaningless gestures of a primitive race with no history of diplomacy or real worth."

Despite his outburst, I couldn't help but ask, "Importance to whom?"

The God paused, lips parted ever so slightly. But not a single world traveled out.

Understanding he wasn't going to answer after a few seconds of uncomfortable staring, I brushed off the incensed comment with relative ease and offered up a reassuring smile.

"You should be sore, just based on how much of the shield you took in, for a couple of days. You've got a cut, I'm sure you noticed, on your head. Sorry about that, but I did warn you multiple times. Other than that, you should be fine."

"Days? You forget I am a God."

"If I had forgotten you were a God, we could be having this conversation in different scenery."

This earned me a glare, but something told me he hadn't put forth all of his energy into it.

"And right now," I continued, feeling my confidence return, "we're at-."

My words were cut short by Jonathan's footsteps padding back into the room.

Immediately, I noted the tension rise up within Loki as his green eyes took in my neighbor. And like a blast to my back, the same unease seemed to protrude from my neighbor.

"I see he's doing well," Jonathan observed, fingers buttoning up his brown jacket.

I turned to him calmly.

"Yes. Thank you again, for helping us out."

"Anytime," he smiled.

Just when I thought perhaps the animosity would clear out, Jonathan paused before reaching the front door.

His sharp, brown eyes fixed themselves onto Loki.

"Where I'm from and the family I grew up with, well...we respect women. I do hope, Lyle that you leave Lucy alone. She is a sweet, caring, and beautiful girl. Who doesn't need a jackass like you around."

By this point, had Loki still been gripping my hand, I was sure it'd be broken. Moreover, I was beating myself up for first having mentioned Loki as an excuse, so many weeks ago. Really, this had to be one of the worst instances of karma ever.

Fighting back my anxiety, I slowly turned toward to Loki.

My stomach churned when I saw the show of teeth he displayed. You didn't have to be an expert on alien expressions to know the viciousness laced in the contours of his lips.

"No," I warned gently, eyes burning.

Loki ignored the request, eyes fixed on Jonathan.

And then, he spoke.

"That is not what she mentioned the night before."

Slamming my eyes shut, I smacked one hand to my forehead while my teeth ground down in agitation.

This isn't happening.

"I doubt she did this voluntary," Jonathan argued, stomping forward.

If possible, my stomach dropped right out of my body. The only reason I opened up my eyes again was because I felt movement on the sofa.

While I had been studiously wishing the situation would defuse on its own, Loki had gathered himself into a sitting position. I recognized the clenching of his jaw, but couldn't determine if it was from the pains in his body or Jonathan's words.

Without warning, Loki released a venomous laugh, the noise alone causing my apprehension to skyrocket.

Just as he transferred his legs over the edge of the couch, now in a full sitting position, I sprang up from my knees and sank down on the sofa beside him. One of my legs nudged at his own, attempting to direct them toward me and not into a pounce, while one hand carefully extended to his face.

Once my palm cupped his cheek, I rubbed a thumb over the white skin.

"Loki, placet," I murmured, hoping he'd recognize the request.

It was like watching somebody fall back into themselves from the outer reaches of the universe.

For a moment, Loki's body was unnervingly still, eyes set in a determined, ancient gaze. Any longer and I would have thought he was a statue.

Then, ever so slowly, he turned to me, one of his hands rising to the cheek I had cupped. His expression seemed lost and determined at the same exact time.

"Placet," I said again, this time as a request rather than a plead.

He knew what I wanted, that much, I could tell. Or perhaps what I didn't want to happen, as evident by the fury raging in his irises, transforming his cool green eyes into a stormy, near-black.

He blinked, and then exhaled.

And what I felt at the stare he gave me, I can't explain. But it was not hate or spite or fury greeting me back. No, it was dimensional. Like platforms of a person's inner conscious, or the stages of Dante's Inferno. A brief glimpse into the innards of what made a being live.

In one gaze, I witnessed a world, and in Loki's case, of pain and hope. Salvation and damnation. Love and fear and hate and pain and a thirst for acceptance.

And _that_ was enough to make me suck in a breath as if it were the last I'd ever be breathing in.

Ultimately, by this look, I knew what Loki was granting me. Something he didn't to very many people.

A chance.

"I'll have him out of the apartment within an hour," I commented swiftly to Jonathan, eyes un-straying from Loki's own. I was afraid of what would happen if the contact was severed.

I barely heard Jonathan's reply, exploring the God before me. Who really wasn't one, at least not in a literal sense. The universe did not realistically allow such beings to reach such a powerful stature.

No, he was man - physically, mentally, and emotionally. Even if he tried denying it.

Minutes later, or it could have been days for all I knew, I realized we were finally alone. The silence of the room nearly compressed upon my form, screaming at me to act lest I was crushed.

Letting out a large sigh, I blinked. And despite the edgy situation, my lips quirked up. Again, that same, odd sense of humor of mine, charged right back at me, replaying what just happened at breakneck speed.

"Now THAT was fun!" I announced.

Before I could even utter out a laugh, Loki grabbed on to the hand I had rested on his cheek and pulled it to his chest, knuckles immediately pressing into flesh through a thin shirt. Swinging forward with the motion, I watched his opposite hand snake its way quickly around my back, pulling me toward him until nothing but a foot separated our faces.

I met his gaze in barely concealed puzzlement, but Loki gave away absolutely no intentions.

"Who is Lyle?" he first questioned.

"Your alias as my jealous, ex-boyfriend," I casually explained, hot and cold from Loki's touch.

Although naturally cool, the arm he had locked around my back as well as the grip he had on my hand, seemed to scorch my skin. And that, out of all of the things Loki had threatened to do to me and actually had done, scared me most of all. Such an immediate and intense reaction to a touch was not healthy. Or normal.

At this, Loki frowned.

"I do not understand your ethics."

Raising my eyebrows, I urged him silently to continue.

"You seduce mortal men into your bed without trying, and then move on to Gods."

Scoffing, I tried backing away, but Loki was in a persistent state of mind.

I only managed an inch before he pulled me back.

"Jonathan was a good man. I thought I had feelings for him," I defended, unperturbed by this divulgence. "And kissing Thor was a mistake. We would have never worked out. I can see you really believe I'm some sort of harlot, but I assure you, I'm just trying to navigate this realm like you are."

My heart sped up at this proclamation, unsettled and excited at the proximity. Which I still naively tried to convince was nothing but my imagination.

"So these lips have truly touched my brother's?"

His voice fell into a harsh whisper.

"Yes," I answered openly. "What does it matter?"

"It matters very much," he spoke, green gaze falling to them, "It matters because I am unexplainably, and perhaps a bit grudgingly, drawn to them and feel a burning hate at the thought of anyone other than myself, enjoying their taste."

By the time I comprehended his words, he had already crushed our mouths together, allowing absolutely no separation.

This time, he channeled someone other than an angry man. Or disgusted. This time, the kiss was meant to erase every trace of Thor's taste, and then some. These lips tearing at me were hungry and possessive. Tongue ready to taste that which he could not visibly understand. Wanting so much more than just the contact. Wanting the hope he'd channeled for a brief second, inside his eyes.

These realizations dropped on me one after another as Loki gradually began pressing his full weight over top of me, the grip on my back now a simple, outstretched hand.

I can't do this. Good grief, this is just like Thor all over again.

When Loki bit down on the same area he'd formally torn into, I realized this was far different than Thor. Just as passionate, but so very different.

My opportunity came when Loki finally pulled his mouth away, inhaling oxygen like a fish gasps for water.

"Stop," I mumbled.

Instead of heeding my word, the hand he was crushing my hand to his heart with, dropped and came to rest on my own cheek.

Now, I couldn't seem to believe Loki had ever been born a Frost Giant. His touch scorched my skin.

"We can't do this," I tried again, attempting to keep a level head.

Again, he ignored the words, head suddenly disappearing into the crook of my neck. Then, like a wild animal, he inhaled, cold nose skimming across heated skin.

"Loki!" I exclaimed firmly, struggling to keep my eyes from flying shut. This was the contact I'd been missing from Jonathan. And wouldn't you know it; I was in full shiver mode.

"Stop!" I bit out, emphasizing my point by throwing both my hands into his shoulders.

This forced a separation of our bodies, and for the first time, clarity sunk into Loki's face.

His eyes, once scanning my lips hungrily, narrowed and like he'd personally inhaled something ghastly, Loki pulled his head away from my own.

I watched this transformation with a sense of frustration. Did the God simply lose control, or did he genuinely feel passion raging in him, equal to my own?

More to the point, I was frustrated at my inability to act. With my experiences around Loki, I knew he was not one to trust with such vulnerabilities. He could easily expose them.

This was enough motivation to break off the kiss.

And I am a Queen. From a realm he's never heard of, and never will. Like Thor, he's unattainable even if his passion proves real. Which isn't likely.

Seconds after my protest, I was dumped unceremoniously on the floor. Without warning. Straight on my butt.

As I worked on pulling myself up, Loki's feet bounded across the room.

I could tell just in the steps he took, he was walking through the pain I'd inflicted on him. Physical or emotional, I couldn't be sure.

Right when I thought he would simply vanish again, the God whipped around, gruesome frown twisting away at his features.

"Everyone always loved my brother best," he spat. "Especially the concubines. That is all you are. A brainless, power-hungry, whore."

Shaking my head, I felt the words enter my ears and settle down like a fiery poker.

Did he just-?

An anger so strong raged through me that by the time I was back on my feet, I could already feel the universe's energy wanting to storm through every one of my pores.

"Listen here, and listen clearly," I nearly yelled, shaking in place. "I do not think Thor better than you. I do not think you better than Thor. I personally don't give a shit about romance and whatever sort of feelings you both are trying to contain me in. Do you want to know why?"

A part of me lodged inside, awaiting the beast to finish roaring, was silently cheering at the step Loki took backwards. As a result, I stomped forward, brown eyes narrowed, hair crackling, and lips twisted.

"Because I care about both of your well-being! I care about the pain you both suffer at the distance you've created. I hate seeing such broken beings attempt to kill each other when they should be holding on with all they've got. Is that really so hard to believe? And I want peace on this damn planet as well! That means ending the conflict you two seem to be committed to engaging in until one of you dies. That is my intention. No smoke screens. No brainless cajoling with a hunky God just because he looked my way. Just my duty."

Now, the anger was beginning to channel my insecurities. The worst part was I could feel them amounting, but could do nothing to stop it.

"Because after this, Loki," I snapped, a shakiness spreading from my voice all the way down to my legs, "I'm going home. Where neither of you can follow. And I'm going there to die alone because I'm not meant to be loved by anyone but my own race. I am a lonely creature, observing time and space, war and peace, able to reach out, but to never indulge. I have accepted this and I'll be damned if I allow some petulant, piddling demi-God slander my name!"

And after these words, I wanted to do something I hadn't done in ages. Something my realm would frown upon, believing their Queen to be weak. Because at this point, everything piled up into one great ball of emotions, and I couldn't figure out for the life of me, how to deflate it.

I wanted to cry.

"I am not done!" I shrieked, sensing the subtle shift in atmosphere indicating Loki's attempt to teleport. "Why would I even begin to think you feel love for me? Because despite never being able to have it, that is what I crave. And so far, you've beat, threatened, and hated me with unrestrained passion. Now that I've said no to you, you're hurt, understandable. Throughout all this, I am going to be sympathetic to what you're feeling like right now. But know this. My place in this realm is to heal your and Thor's wounds. Not to be some little play thing when you feel my presence is convenient. I respect myself far more than that. And if you hate me for this, then it is your problem, not mine!"

Breaths raced out of me, nearly making me dizzy from the lack of oxygen my brain was receiving. My heart raced uncontrollably, fingers twitching from the energy pulsing through them, and my eyes were wide and feral.

Quite literally, I felt an explosion of emotion inside me, all indefinable, but very much real.

When Loki didn't answer, I finally forced my eyes to clear through the rage.

The man stood in place, staring at me. Were the situation different, I'd have found his open mouth and wide eyes, amusing. Now, however, I felt as if I'd personally dissolved my own sense of humor.

The closer I observed him, the more I came to find that his gaze was directed specifically at something to the left of me.

Squinting, I followed his gaze, turning to my left, wondering what he was so preoccupied with.

What met my own sight astonished me just as much.

A single strand of my auburn hair, was levitating in the air as if some impish child was holding on to the opposite end. What really made me lose my breath, however, was the color of the lock.

It was a nearly silver-white. Appearing ancient, but not elderly.

"Wow," I murmured, unsure what to feel at the turn of events. "Now that is something you don't see every day."

The lock floated in place a minute longer, but during this minute, I felt my anger ebb away, instead, becoming replaced with wonder.

And gradually, the strand of pale began to recede back to its brown, red, and orange roots.

By the time I grasped on to the fact that my entrenched anger had directly caused the transformation in the color of my hair, the lock was back down with its companions, naturally colored once more.

Loki cleared his throat after a strained minute.

"Does that happen often?"

My instinct was to smile initially. It was the first time I'd ever heard honest trepidation in his voice. The realization that I'd caused it, only served to help improve my mood.

But I fought off this impulsion. I was still partially irate at his accusations.

"Go find your brother," I gently implored instead. "You two need each other."

Instead of folloing my advice, Loki risked a step toward me, scanning me with an impassive expression.

"I do not understand you," he repeated. "Not one bit."

Shrugging, I crossed my arms. I didn't have it in me to continue a conversation with everything that just happened.

"But," Loki promised, meeting my eyes, "I intend to. Very soon."

He then broke into a quick laugh, before visibly flinching at the action.

This told me he was still in pain, but trusted me enough for me to bear witness to it.

"Are we done with the random, stress relieving kisses?" I inquired.

Instead of answering, he shot back a question.

"Do you honestly believe that is what fueled my actions? Stress?"

"What else could it possibly be?"

One corner of his mouth twitched as his eyes narrowed. For a second, the movements reminded me of the visage reigning supreme over his features after he'd pulled away from the kiss.

"Who knew our attraction to you would be the common ground?" Loki mused, clasping his hands behind him.

Before I could even begin to ask, the God vanished in place.

Studying the apartment minutes later, I couldn't help but mumble with a lock of hair clutched between two fingers, "What a mess."

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**What a complicated bunch of people, aren't they? Also, when "Lucy" was telling Loki 'placet' as she noticed the anger rise in him from Jonathan's words, that's Latin for 'please.' Whatever your thoughts on the chapter, I'd love to know. Although, I'm kind of scared. Again, another one of those chapters that I have absolutely no idea what to think of. But as always, let me know your thoughts in a review!**


	10. What Lies Beneath

**Really, I'd like to thank everyone who reviewed. Especially since I wasn't at all confident with the last chapter. I still don't think it was very good, but I am deeply thankful to everyone who reviewed and mentioned what they liked. That was pure inspiration for me. And tainted-angel, I hope whatever tragedy befell you, that this chapter helps make it hurt worse. And that you're doing better, in general. This chapter, I felt like I got my voice back. Hopefully. Anywho, as always, enjoy!**

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**Chapter 10 – What Lies Beneath**

The following hours after my encounter with the God of Mischief found me experiencing a mix of hyperactive dread and exhaustive wonder within the protected confines of my apartment. Of course I'll explain to you just exactly what my brain was chugging tiredly through.

Firstly, there was the Loki situation. Which really, I just wanted to shove out of mind like I did with Thor. His words were spoken out of a bruised pride at not getting what he wanted. Simple as that.

But upon finally convincing myself of this, I discovered to my dismay that I couldn't possibly keep out both brothers at the same time. As soon as Loki's kiss vanished, Thor's sprung right back at me, assaulting every logical point I attempted to make.

And that was disheartening.

I unintentionally messed up their reconsolidation in a horrible manner. Where my intention was to heal their rift, I instead opened up just another wound for them to argue over. Who held the right to pry for my attentions just because I'd been so dismissive toward both of them.

Absurd, really.

Or so I told myself.

Secondly, and far more importantly, was what occurred after my channeling of anger.

And as this thought sunk in, I flung myself back onto the living room sofa, wanting to never move again. Emotionally and physically, I was spent from the day.

One hand twitched, ready to grab the lock responsible for my wonder, but I urged it back down. Touching it would solve nothing.

_"Please, talk to me. I need to know what this means."_

But the universe remained mute.

Biting down on an index finger, a discontented sigh rumbled out of me.

Not only did I display one more countless oddity for Loki's calculating eyes, but to my own realm as well. Quite simply put, Queens did not lose their cool, especially not to the degree I had. I don't think even Eramus would be able to properly recall such a time of unfathomable rage.

At this, I couldn't help but frown.

Was this a punishment because I was allowing the anger to stay brewed inside? Was this the universe's way of keeping me in line so I wouldn't turn to such a weak emotion again?

Because I knew very well what anger led to. One only had to observe Loki and Thor's feud.

Not going to think about it. Good grief, maybe I should have killed Loki. Certainly would have saved a shitload of trouble.

As soon as the thought entered, I cringed. The last thing I really wanted was him dead. Not when the potential for salvation inside him was so clear.

My heart clenched at this, wondering what the days were like for him. Schemes. Then perhaps guilt, overruled by self-hatred. More schemes. Hatred toward his brother. Wondering the worth of people around him. Scolding the human race. More scheming.

"And he doesn't even realize how great he could have it," I voiced to my empty apartment, awed at the thought.

This never ceased to amaze me. How quickly I was able to forgive him, especially when he treated me with the cruelest form of courtesy.

Why is that?

Another sigh raced out of me, this one far less distinguishable.

Let's not think about it, alright? Just let fate take its course and see what happens between the Asgardians.

I raised one hand before me, studying my palm.

And what about me? What the hell is happening to make me release such staggering bouts of energy?

_"PLEASE, don't abandon me. I don't know what I did, but I'm sorry. Whatever is happening…I'm-."_

I paused at this, battling down the shakes ready to consume me.

_"-scared."_

The word felt so foreign to even think.

Then again, having a loss of control with so much power at stake, through such a weak emotion as anger, suddenly made it seem plausible.

I need to make sure I can control it. Which means I've got to stop indulging into anger, even if it feels natural or is acceptable on this realm.

Minutes later, and I was out deep, hoping my muddled thoughts wouldn't follow me into slumber.

TLOTLOTLOTLO

The next day greeted my ears with two thunderous knocks against my front door. Lovely noise to wake up to, by the way.

Anyway, my first visitor was someone I had to fight the urge to immediately slam the door on.

"What in the German hell happened out here?"

I tried smiling, but the landlady only snarled at me. Yes, I am not being dramatic. A full on snarl.

I want to explain quickly that no matter how furious the landlady got with me in the seven or so months I'd taken residence in her abode, I never blamed her for any of the fits of rage she unleashed. And I'll get to the reason why.

Otherwise, know that Mrs. Pendergrass was quickly approaching 77 years of age, and while she appeared thin and dainty, her demonic voice tarnished all thoughts of implying she was the type of woman to bake her grandchildren cookies or wave at the new neighbors.

When she got angry, eyes squinted like an insect, lips drawn back in the world's fiercest sneer, and dentures seemingly ready to shatter from the grinding her teeth participated in, it was not uncommon for a person to consider moving out as soon as possible.

I didn't blame her for the short temper she seemed possessed by because I understood she did not have a great life to begin with. This observation was made only because I did something other residents didn't. Although she yelled and threatened and growled, Mrs. Pendergrass also had an inkling to mention her two eldest brothers and alcoholic father when in a fit of rage. And I listened to her remarks carefully.

Both of her brothers were killed in World War II when she was just eight years old. One in Europe and the other in Asia.

Upon the deaths, Mrs. Pendergrass, which sounds weird saying because I find it difficult to envision her as a little girl, had no one to protect her from her father's beatings. Before they were drafted, the brothers simultaneously took this oath of protection after their mother's death.

So, she grew up bearing the bruises of physical abuse as well as emotional. And somewhere down the road, although I couldn't exactly be sure about it, I think she simply lost faith in kindness and became blind to the good in others.

Equipped with all of this information, which she didn't divulge into, but I could read in between the lines from, kept open my sympathies to her. Because yes, upon arriving to Earth, I enjoyed the people immensely due to how unique they all were.

But she reminded me rather soberly of why I looked beyond the hostile actions and words of beings. There was a story for everyone. Desires that lay beneath the chipped anger wallowing in a being's soul. An unquenchable need to just be loved.

"Are you brain dead? What the hell happened?"

Bursting out of my reverie, I followed her bony finger pointing to the smashed wall Loki had hung out in for a short while.

"I-."

"It's my fault."

My gaze traveled to the source of the voice.

"Patterson?" Mrs. Pendergrass mumbled, eyes scanning him in disbelief. "I can understand this one here, but you? You're one of my best tenants."

Jonathan shrugged sheepishly, throwing her a puppy dog grin.

Now that was just not fair.

"I can help pay for it," he offered, taking a step forward.

Something in Mrs. Pendergrass softened.

Curiously, I observed her gaze and realized for the first time why exactly she was so kind hearted to Jonathan. Always has been. He could have murdered someone and she'd simply brush off the action with a wave of a hand.

In my head, however, I think I deciphered her actions as this.

Jonathan reminded her of one of her brothers. Or perhaps both.

And I can't guarantee this was the truth, but the look on her face - eyes wide and solemn, lips set in a half smile, and body leaning forward - served to show that she cherished him far above just a typical landlady-tenant relationship.

"Don't you worry about it," she finally answered, voice considerably softer. "This place is falling apart anyway. Too many earthquakes in the 80's have messed with the structure. State of California has plans for this sort of thing. I'll call them today."

"That'd be wonderful. Thanks again."

Mrs. Pendergrass nodded sweetly, before resting her eyes on me. Immediately, her happiness subsided.

"And you, young lady. Tell whoever the hell is climbing up to your window, that if he does it again, I'll have the firing squad on his ass so fast he'll be pissing out bullets for the next decade."

Attempting to cover my grin, I dipped my head down.

"Won't happen again," I promised.

Seconds later, the elderly woman hobbled out of the hallway, muttering about crazy people.

Releasing a relieved breath, I found Jonathan's eyes.

"You didn't have to."

"Did you have a better explanation?"

At his pointed smirk, I nearly rolled my eyes.

"No, I didn't."

"Plus, she loves me. Always gives me an extra week to pay rent."

Again, not fair. But who was I to argue with an elderly woman's love?

"Thank you again," I mentioned, scratching at the back of my head. "Honestly, I don't know what I'd do without you sometimes."

Jonathan offered me a grin, but glanced down at his feet soon after.

"I was actually on my way over to your place. Do you want to go get something to eat?"

His question dissolved the smile I'd been sporting.

When things were less complicated, I might have been able to handle this. But not now. Not after the sex and the dueling brothers I've got on my plate.

Unfortunately, at this point, all I could recall was Jonathan defending my honor in front of Loki. Who could have easily killed him.

Would have, if I hadn't begged otherwise.

"I know it doesn't seem like it," I began, "but I have a whole lot of business in my life right now. Business that I have got to get solved or else…things could get very bad."

Try end-of-the-world type of bad.

Jonathan nodded as if he understood, but I could tell I'd disappointed him.

"I understand."

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah…you kind of made it obvious yesterday."

At my confused stare, he continued.

"You're still in love with your ex. I get it."

The laugh flew out of me before I had the chance to contain it.

"Me…in love with Lo-…Lyle? That's ridiculous!"

This time, Jonathan's lips turned sly.

"I've never met another girl, and don't think I will, who takes care of their ex even after they've assaulted them out of anger. I watched you clean up his blood and I'm telling you, you're still in love with him."

I had to bite down on telling him that I never loved Loki in the first place.

"Jonathan…I assure you this personally. Lyle and I will never be together again. He's repugnant."

"Hmm…then is it the blond one?"

"Blond one?"

"Yeah…the superhero. Thor is his name. Helped save New York."

"Heck no! We're just friends."

My neighbor guffawed at this, crossing his arms.

"When I tell you you're an enigma, I mean no disrespect. But how can you not tell the way they both look at y-."

"Stop!" I interrupted, heart hammering against my ribs. "Jonathan, I am telling you now that there is nothing, I repeat, NOTHING, going on between me and Thor or me and Lyle. I am single. I will remain single. Besides…they're not even my type."

Wrong. They're both actually very experienced kissers.

I growled at this thought, but masked it with a frown to avoid Jonathan's suspicious stare.

"Alright," he admitted, raising his arms in defeat.

But a grin still tugged at his lips, and for some reason, a superfluous amount of tingles rumbled inside my tummy.

"So," I deduced, studying him with wide eyes, "you and Mrs. Pendergrass-."

"Stop! I've got your point," Jonathan laughed.

"I thought that might do it."

A few seconds later and I watched him throwing glances over his shoulder.

"Just to make this clear…you and me…we're never going to be a thing, are we?"

I contained my sigh and my grimace, but the guilt wasn't so easily sustainable. Here stood a man whom I'd engaged with sexually and he didn't remember. But even if he did, I couldn't be sure I'd want a repeat performance. Which made me feel even worse for not having enjoyed what happened and dismissing him just because he didn't perform. Love wasn't merited solely on sex.

Something which I actually didn't like on Earth. Advertisements and the social media gave off the impression that sex equaled love or vice versa, and in some way, this would lead to acceptance.

On my realm, no matter how dull the people or tightly wound, when one found an individual to suit their sexual and emotional needs, they loved that person with all of their being. And that mattered above all else.

Which reminded me why exactly I couldn't partake in love of any form while on Earth. I wasn't from the realm, nor did I intend to stay indefinitely. And my heritage as well as position, couldn't be cast aside or exposed.

Perhaps that's why so few Queens traveled to Earth. Because the glorious freedom of following your heart, was far too tempting.

"You are such a beautiful man," I told him, making sure he saw the honesty in my eyes. "And whatever woman sees you for that, will ultimately be the one for you. Because you deserve that, Jonathan. So, so much."

My neighbor tensed, then relaxed, pondering over the words.

"Do me a favor?" he finally asked.

"What's that?"

Breathing in, he risked a step toward me, brown eyes scanning me carefully.

"Remember that you're just as deserving of that love," he said. "Even if you don't see it."

Just for the sake of keeping his words from being said in vain, I nodded my head. Although internally, I knew I couldn't keep that promise.

When I had unleashed on Loki and declared myself a lonely creature, observing time and space, war and peace, able to reach out, but never indulge, I hadn't been lying. These disappointments perhaps had been buried while my first three years as Queen passed by, but upon realizing them on Earth, I knew them to be irreversibly true.

And even if in less than two years, I moved the honor on to another Queen, I was still stuck with the same knowledge. I had to be sheltered from the other realm's eyes. Invisible. Unheard. Thought to never have existed in the first place.

That hurt more than I could admit.

"Are you alright?"

Scrambling for a smile, I met Jonathan's eyes with a polite detachment.

"Absolutely. Thank you, again. It seems like I'll never be able to stop thanking you."

"Keep my promise and one day, you won't have to."

And after that, time seemed to speed by unnaturally fast, even though I knew that day to be just the same as the day before, or the coming day tomorrow.

I guess it was the emotion of releasing a potential shot at happiness, which really darkened my mood. And depressed me at how greedy I felt about wanting to be loved. That wasn't a particularly attractive trait in a Queen.

Haven't I been ranting to Loki about every being wanting to be loved? It's ignorant to think I'm expelled from that same notion. Just because I hide it better, doesn't mean I crave it any less.

For the next few hours, I worked through these emotions by nursing a glass of vodka. Normally, I didn't prefer alcoholic beverages. They impaired my ability to think, something I prided myself in very much, and blinded my eyes to the beauty around me.

But at that moment, nothing sounded more refreshing.

TLOTLOTLOTLO

When the second thunderous knock sounded against my door, I was in the process of stepping out of the shower.

Still a bit dizzy from the alcohol I'd put away, I couldn't deny the safeness entrapping me. My entire body felt warm and fuzzy, as if I'd unknowingly swallowed a sun. Which might be a bit much to compare to, but did not cease to slander my point.

I think I finally understand why there are more brands of alcohol than diapers.

The knock continued even when I was fully clothed, and for a moment, I wasn't sure if I wanted to answer the door. Although my dismal mood had departed, I really didn't want to come into contact with anyone who would bring it back.

However, when the knocking ceased to quit after ten minutes, I gave up on the hiding myself away policy.

Upon opening the door, I had to bite down on my lips to keep from laughing.

Thor stood at the other end, but a great distance away from the entryway. His eyes studied it cautiously, and one hand was extended as if it was feeling around for the force field.

"Don't worry about it," I assured him, finding it hard to think his actions weren't adorable. "It's only if you try to enter, that the real hurt will begin."

The blond nodded, venturing a step forward.

"Am I to assume this protective force helped keep away my brother?"

With a smirk, I pointed to the wall behind him.

Thor turned, and then disguised his laugh for a cough.

"He always does love a challenge."

"Should I be keeping score then? Hallway wall – 1. Your brother – 0."

"I would be more apt to give the credit to you," he admitted, facing me once more.

"It was nothing," I said. "Just a bit of hocus pocus. I love that expression. Hocus pocus. Why don't we ever have silly phrases like that?"

"It is not common where you are from?"

"No. I have a whole bunch of new customs to introduce, then. How about you?"

"Considering this hocus pocus is actually magic on our realm, I don't believe the term would be well appreciated."

"I'd appreciate it for you."

"I have no doubts you would."

Our eyes met, and I could tell there was a bottom line to the reason he was here.

Just as well, I also noted Clint's words to be true. Slight bruising reaching beneath his jaw line or scraping up near his temples, littered the God's features.

"I've heard from Clint that you and Loki have been chatting," I observed.

"We have," Thor agreed. "Far more verbal this time, than physical. I came today to see if you were alright. It appeared as if my last words to Loki had…angered him."

"Don't worry, my defenses kept me relatively safe. Although, I may have bruised his pride a bit."

At Thor's inquisitive look, I realized I'd have to recount the tale. If anyone understood the trickster's actions, it'd be his brother.

"He kissed you?" he questioned in surprise, minutes later.

"Yes. But I'm asserting the action toward stress and this catfight you two seem to be having over who gets the right to say they've gotten it on with me."

One of Thor's eyebrows flew up.

"Another Earth phrase," I explained. "Basically, it translates to who's gotten the most intimacy with me. While I understand this is just another thing brother's fight over, I will be intensely relieved when I'm not in the crossfire anymore."

The blond didn't say anything for a moment.

"I am troubled."

"About what?"

Again, Thor hesitated before going on.

"Your worth to my brother."

I sighed at this.

"I'm a source of instigation. Haven't you been paying attention? Loki was able to get a rise out of you by pretending to have sex with me. And will probably brag about kissing me the next time you two meet. This is the role I serve for him."

"You seem convinced of this."

"I am. He's never given me a reason to think otherwise."

"I did not think he was capable of betraying our family. You have got to understand, Lucy, that he rarely divulges his true feelings."

"I understand that, Thor. But I have done nothing to garner affection from him."

This last part was said with a sense of frustration.

"So if your purpose is to serve as an instigation for my feelings, how do you propose I battle off his attacks?"

"Stop being so attached to me."

"You make it sound simple."

"It is."

Immediately, I regretted the carefree way in which I said the words.

Thor's body tensed up, and for a second, I thought he would repeat his brother's actions in attempting to enter my apartment.

"Do not assume your own worth so low. You have little comprehension of your effect on people."

Despite the entire day I spent of battling off the magnetism between Thor, Loki, and myself, the words seemed to wash all of that hard work away.

They were sweet and spoken with a sense of longing.

I have no right to chastise Thor for speaking his mind, even if he doesn't exactly understand why such a relationship wouldn't work.

"I'm sorry. That was rude of me."

"Don't apologize."

"Okay. I'm not sorry. That was totally not rude of me."

A defiant grin pressed over his lips.

"You would get along well with Stark."

His words made me release a shrug, but when the God's eyes flickered over my features, I felt a creeping suspicion race through me.

Did he want a reaction from his words?

"Thor," I began delicately, "answer my next question with a yes or no."

"Of course."

Nodding, I knotted my brows together, wondering how to word my question.

"Does S.H.I.E.L.D. want me to work for them?"

To Thor's credit, he didn't even lie before replying.

"It was…discussed. More recently, I have been given the task of negotiating the idea. I have attempted to keep off the confrontation as long as possible. You value your privacy heftily. But interest from the organization still shadows you. They want to know your secrets. I think more importantly, they want your ability to negotiate with foreign visitors."

The information surprised me. They weren't even aware of my potential and they already wanted me. No better way to make a woman feel loved.

"Was Clint aware of this?"

"Yes."

"Explains why he's been so chummy toward me," I muttered, displeased at the thought of him chatting with me just because he wanted me to join S.H.I.E.L.D.

"He cares for you greatly," Thor remarked. "In fact, he supported the notion of giving you privacy."

"Funny way of showing it," I answered, remembering the nimble man's climb to my window. "Tell your director that I'm honored with the opportunity, but I respectfully decline. My stay on this realm isn't meant to be permanent. In fact, I was only supposed to stay until-."

I glanced away at this point, remembering Thor had no idea that I'd provided the clues for Jane Foster to rebuild the bridge.

"-anyway, I'm not staying here for much longer, I hope. So, the deal wouldn't quite work out."

I tried to seem apologetic, but the thought of working for S.H.I.E.L.D. actually ignited mixed feelings ranging back to the discussion I had with Thor about the ethics of defense. What rightfully warranted an individual to fight?

Thor seemed to be following my train of thought.

"I will explain all of this to Fury."

"You're going to tell a guy named Fury that I said no to his request?"

"Rarely is he what his name implies," Thor mentioned, smiling at the thought.

"What about you, then? Still trying to get through to Loki?"

"Yes. Although stubborn, I see more of my brother each time we meet. In small instances, but he is there."

"I suggest keeping me out of the conversation. I hate that I'm just another thing driving you two apart."

"Often, it is the mentioning of you which begins our conversations. I do not think you are as useless of a being as you claim to be."

For some reason, I found this amusing. Trouble was, I couldn't figure out why.

"If you need any of my help, tell me," I offered. "Remember, I want you two to be healed of all animosities."

"That may take time."

"I've got that."

Internally, however, I cringed at Thor's admission. I had my realm to attend to, duties to perform, and my people to reassure. Time wasn't something I had a particular abundance of.

Of course I didn't mention this. With the guilt weighing down on me already, I felt it unfair to desert either brother when they were in the works of reconciling.

"Thank you, Lucy. You are a great friend to me. At first, I could not think of one good reason you took my weapon. Being without it felt…empty. But in turn, I got Loki's attention. And when we are truly separated from that which makes us bitter enemies, I feel that is when the healing can begin."

Before I realized I was doing it, my feet stepped out of the apartment. Without hesitating, I wrapped my arms around Thor's muscular frame, astonished and deeply touched at his words.

They were everything a Queen longed to hear. That her actions were making some sort of impact on a person. A good one.

And this only made me hug the God tighter, relishing in the hidden intelligence he displayed. In fact, I almost couldn't wait for their feud to be over just so he could go back to Asgard as its king and rule the realm with his newfound wisdom.

Almost instantly, Thor's large hands wrapped around me, pulling me warmly into his body. Together, it felt far more intimate than perhaps even the kiss we'd shared.

Which I just had to remember then. Honestly, I had a horrible case of remembering the most inappropriate thoughts at the most inconvenient of times.

Only when I forced these thoughts to submerge, did I finally begin a battle of composing myself.

Unfortunately, Thor appeared to enjoy hugs more than I realized.

I poked him softly on one bicep, tried taking a step back, even shifted in place, but Thor's arms remained trapped around me, head resting above my shoulder.

"You smell incredibly pleasant," he mumbled into my ear.

Instantly, those traitorous shivers made an arrival.

"In order to continue smelling this way, I have to continue breathing oxygen. Which you are slowly depriving me of."

Slowly, Thor released his hold on me, and although I knew it for the better, I still couldn't deny how nice it was to have shared the contact.

"I expect news on your progress with Loki," I informed him, attempting to sound stern. Really, I was still a bit breathless at the hug, and not because of the lack of oxygen.

"Of course."

With those words, I felt as if we were both dismissing a lot of persistent topics regarding our relationship. But Thor was far too much of a gentleman to bring them up.

If only-.

I stopped myself before the thought could be completed.

"Have a good night, God of Thunder," I said, slowly backing into my apartment.

"You as well, Lucy."

And that was the last I heard of him for a full week. That is, until everything changed.

TLOTLOTLOTLO

When the knock came, I was fully immersed with deciding which soup I wanted for dinner. The entire day had been uneventful, but I had finished two books so I suppose that was an achievement of its own.

The entire week, in fact, made me feel a bit useless. And antsy. I felt like I was sitting around on my butt, doing nothing.

Worse yet, if the council was watching me, which I assumed they were, it would have been a perfect time for Mettelicius to point out my lack of dedication for the realm and my position as Queen.

Thinking of that, seemed to only make it worse.

However, my big question of the evening was: Chicken Noodle or Cream of Potato.

The smacking of knuckles against glass, prevented a choice.

Swiftly, I navigated to the living room, and smiled at Clint's form perched outside. I didn't give any thought to the expression on his face until he practically dove into my living space.

"You have to come with me."

The words were said in a rush, and a step toward me only helped make Clint all the more serious.

A drop of dread fled down my spine, and straightaway, I forgot all thoughts of dinner.

"What's happened?"

"Loki."

At first, my heart clenched because I thought he was implying the God was dead.

But Clint's next words were far worse.

"I don't know exactly what Thor said to piss him off so bad, but he's got another army in downtown right now. We cleared the civilians, told the police to stay back, but…I have a feeling this isn't going to end well. His army…they don't exactly look like the negotiable type."

"Do you know what they are?" I quickly asked, immediately feeling my fingers twitch as the universe silently granted me its abilities.

"Before Thor told me to get you, he wanted you to know they were from…musspellhime?"

"Muspelheim," I corrected, frowning. "Realm of the demons."

"Demons? You've got to be kidding me."

"You said they're strong in numbers?"

Clint hesitated briefly.

"There's enough of them to easily overrun Los Angeles. Only when Loki wouldn't listen to Thor's pleads, did he tell me to get you."

"Then let's go."

Before I could move, Clint wrapped a hand around my wrist. He made sure to catch my eyes first before voicing his thoughts. Which made me realize the situation was far more dire than just a bunch of Frost Giants looking to be mercenaries.

"We wouldn't have bothered you if we didn't believe you couldn't be protected. You'll have me, Thor, and Stark monitoring any one of those things that tries getting near you. Also, you're not just negotiating with one enemy this time. It appears as if Loki's been holding on to this plan for awhile, ready for the right moment to strike. Don't be discouraged if you can't reach him. He's insane."

My lips twitched up against my will.

"The problem, Clint, is that Loki is very much sane. And he still plans on demolishing Earth. That _is_ the scary part. And don't think just because I haven't displayed my strengths, I'm weak. I'll be able to hold more ground than you could possibly imagine."

When all he did was stare, I feared I'd said something to make him mad.

Two seconds later, and I was the recipient of a very powerful hug.

"I swear," he muttered, bringing his lips near my ear, "if you make my days boring again, I'll resurrect you just to kill you again."

I laughed, really feeling helpless with all of the alarm coursing through me.

"I promise."

And this time, I meant to keep it.

Minutes later, and we were hopping off the fire escape.

Sorry, Mrs. Pendergrass.

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**I can almost guarantee the next chapter will be long. Shit's going to go down since I've kept our characters a tad bit complacent. Can't say it will all be good shit. But what is good shit anyway? Let me know your thoughts in a review!**


	11. Landslide Brought You Down

**I promised you a long chapter, and nearly five days of working on it produced this. Hopefully, you all enjoy. And once again, thank you so so so so so so much for the reviews. I got the most for the last chapter that I'd ever gotten and I can't help but express my gratitude to you all, even if I don't know what words to exactly say. Thank you. That's all I can really say. And enjoy!**

* * *

**Chapter 11 – Landslide Brought You Down**

The streets were despairingly clear and this allowed Clint to drive like a madman, swerving around vacant cars and abandoned stores. All of downtown appeared ghostly, as if mankind had vanished altogether.

The early October sky seemed to have disregarded autumn completely and high above, murky, black clouds waited patiently to unleash their wrath. At just 6:15 in the evening, it looked like midnight on a moonless winter night.

For some reason, I didn't think this was Thor's doing completely.

It was normal for the location of any being who traveled in between realms, to light up the sky with a vast darkness, depending on what realm one was coming from. Often, this was simply residue left over from the energy needed to bring the individual there.

Because I had the extraordinarily rare ability to teleport between realms, this didn't apply to me. Which was really quite lucky as it allowed me near invisibility when visiting a realm – useful for a Queen from an unknown realm.

But upon craning my head out the window and studying the full intensity of the sky once more, I could tell the darkness wasn't going to waver any time soon.

"This is bad."

Clint risked a glance at me before flying through a large water puddle.

"What's bad?" he demanded.

"Usually, when someone hops from realm to realm, the skies cloud over. This is from the concentrated amount of force needed to allow the movement throughout the universe."

"Alright, skies are clouded over. What's the problem?"

"The skies aren't supposed to stay this way," I explained, squinting through the windshield ahead.

"It means the Zaabaj's are keeping the portal open from the other side to usher in more of them."

Clint released a steady stream of curses before speeding up.

"What are...zaabaj's?"

"Demons have a sort of...hierarchy, you could call it," I informed, struggling to remember the separate orders. "Although most are able to coexist with each other, some are naturally savages, such as the Zaabaj's who are usually at the top of the group. That's not to say all demons are the same. There are some who've done a lot of good. The Dashper's helped research medicines and discovered brand new herbs. This prevented an extinction of their race when the Laintun disease targeting their blood type, was unleashed. Vandapjor's built sanctuaries to those who'd been exiled from their own race. This happened a lot when the Transcontinental Wars were raging. Some of the demons from different groups didn't want to participate in the destruction, which was admirable within some clans. But other groups, most notably the Zaabaj's, didn't think the idea so noble.

Quickly, they found themselves hunted down and slaughtered."

"Transcontinental War?"

"I'll tell you at a time when our lives aren't hung in the balance," I remarked. "The Zaabaj's are some of the fiercest, most merciless group of demons in existence. Do not take this information lightly because they've built a hell of a reputation over the past centuries. I'm almost convinced they are the army Loki has gathered. While the Frost Giants can at least agree to practice diplomacy, the Zaabaj's have a fondness for instigating tensions between opposing sides just to satisfy their craving for devastation. Their ancestor's hearts are said to have been created within the residue of an Arcticum star."

"Arcticum star?"

"A star that can grow to the size of a regular, hydrogen sun but instead of bringing warmth, it discharges near arctic temperature. Something having to do with the particles and anti-elements that make it up. These stars are very few, and are only born once in every millennium or so. But they are long lasting and can take up to billions of years to finally die out."

"So...you're basically saying these Zaabaj's are ungodly powerful?"

"In a sense," I delicately worded.

The dead silence in the air encouraged me to rethink my answer.

"Actually, they don't battle with sorcery or use nature to manipulate their victims.

Usually, they are hand to hand fighters...although...I don't think you could qualify what they have as hands. More like...jagged claws to hand?" I illuminated, attempting to instill hope back into the man.

Clint nodded, veering sharply into the next lane.

"Since you know these things...tell me, do we even stand a chance?"

I glanced over at him, disheartened at my next words.

"Nothing will happen as long as I get there before any bloodshed," I promised.

The brunette took this information in stride, but he wasn't so dense as to believe I wasn't tap dancing around the truth.

"How many of these things are there?"

"Maybe a couple hundred."

"That doesn't sound so bad."

"No, but don't underestimate their ability to partake in combat. They are incredibly well trained, have limbs that could easily slice you in half, and are not afraid to use teeth. I wish I knew how the hell Loki was able to convince them to help his cause."

And this piqued my curiosity above all else. The Zaabaj's tended to disregard any efforts of alliance. They were confident enough in their own ability to destroy their adversaries.

What could Loki have possibly said to alter their views?

A horrible thought suddenly struck me, and I audibly gulped at the possibility.

What if I'm the reason?

Heaven above me knows how delicate the situation with the entire realm is.

Establishing peace on Muspelheim was never an easy task. In fact, it probably remained one of the trickiest matters I'd ever settled as Queen. And frailest. So many opposing groups had a difficult time living in the same territory as another. They quite literally killed others for their differences, be it in views or physical identity.

But I had done it, despite the tremendous difficulty involved. With a very well worded, carefully stated, and all demon inclusive treaty that stated a needed peace in order to prolong life into the next millennium.

Since I couldn't show myself to the realm and personally enforce the treaty, I turned to a being all of the residents from Muspelheim virtually worshipped.

The demon God, Portios.

The God himself wasn't real, but nearly every being from the realm believed fully in his existence.

Using the universe, I sent a replication of Portios to the realm, making sure he stood in a public place, and had him proclaim the guidelines to the treaty.

Since Portios was loved by all, the realm eventually came to follow the God's commands without much of a fuss.  
Which were really my commands, something I felt incredibly uneasy about doing. Even though my intentions were held strictly in a desire for peace, the idea of being such a powerful being and having others follow me with blind trust, felt uncomfortable.

And therein lay the problem. A group like the Zaabaj's were far too conflicted in themselves to possibly remain complacent for a long period of time. Because of this peace I'd helped spread, they were getting restless. Even furious at the lack of disagreement.

Shit. Loki's done his homework.

Not only did he understand the Zaabaj's longing for destruction, but he had to have discovered they were living in an unusual peace. And that this made them more inclined to battle.

All he had to do was promise them a war, and they'd greedily jump in as his army.

"Filius a canis," I muttered, slamming my eyes shut in anger.

The God is cunning; I'll give him that. Deceptive as well. And knows just the right words to say.

And before I could contain it, the disappointment flooded in like hurricane waters through a levee.

So badly, I wanted to believe he was changing for the better. Not completely, but in little ways. Talking to his brother. No public attacks on the city. Less vicious towards others.

Knowing that he had a rancorous army staged in downtown Los Angeles, intent on slaughtering as many humans as they could possibly get their claws on, made me feel like I had failed somehow.

That's when the disappointment evolved into disgust.

S.H.I.E.L.D. sure as hell isn't going to let him go after this.

Or maybe they will...if I can prevent this.

"Lucy."

Falling out of my train of thought, I met Clint's fixed stare.

I hadn't even noticed we'd been parked in the same spot for two minutes.

"Ready?"

For the sake of keeping the hope alive, I strapped on my best smile. And I knew just from Clint's reaction that it oozed confidence.

"Whatever you do, don't panic. I was born to handle these types of situations," I solemnly assured, taking one of his hands and squeezing it lightly.

Silently, I congratulated my voice for sounding at ease and uncompromised. The exact opposite of what I was feeling.

"I trust you," he responded, returning the gesture.

We shared one last look in the quickly dimming night, before springing out of the vehicle and into the abysmal scene before us.

TLOTLOTLOTLO

They were positioned in asymmetrical rows in between two grand skyscrapers. Their skin, natural to ancestors before them, held a red tint, nearly producing a glow in the dimness of the street. Their teeth glimmered threateningly as well, marble and triangular, lunged back in a frightful sneer.

Now _these _were the monsters parents warned their children about.

I ignored the cold breeze sticking to the warmth expelling from my body. And despite the tense situation I was walking toward, I couldn't help but wish I had brought a jacket. Really, black sweatpants and a mustard yellow t-shirt did little to protect from those pesky shivers.

Clint had disappeared some time before I passed the last street leading to the army. But he whispered his luck for me under his breath and this helped me stand taller.

Unperturbed, even.

Something I needed to be.

Loki stood somewhere to my right, fifteen feet ahead, immersed with studying some of the Zabaaj. Upon noticing me, however, he emerged from the group, venturing a few steps forward.

I made sure to not make eye contact with the God. He certainly didn't deserve it, and wasn't my main concern.

But out of the corner of my peripheral vision, I did note subtle changes about him.

No longer was he diluted to wearing human attire, something I was sure he was thankful for.

Instead, he was geared up in his Asgardian battle garments. Armor on both shoulders, green cape billowing behind him, black tunic bringing out his long, raven-colored hair, bronze boots, and his auric, spiked helmet, so reminiscent of a Viking's, straddling his head, seemingly tearing an invisible hole into the night.

After such a long period of time disguised as a human, the ensemble, funnily enough, looked very peculiar on him.

And I couldn't help but release a small smile as my eyes took in the warriors before me.

We have very different views on comfort clothing, that's for sure.

Dismissing all thoughts of Loki, I observed the hostile beings. Who appeared just as noxious and intimidating as I thought they would.

High above, a whoosh sounded, sending my hair whipping around in various directions.

Iron Man. My comfort.

I paused in place, examining each Zaabaj individually. Or at least the ones nearest to me.

"Hello."

The greeting seemed out of place to voice, but I knew very well I couldn't stand there all night. Plus, it's never too late to attempt courtesy.

Two of the demons who stood just a foot ahead of their counterparts, glanced at each other, beady, blood-red eyes deciphering a course of action.

Then, out of nowhere, one let out a guttural whine, raising a claw in defiance.

My fingers tingled again, this time, telling me to defend myself lest I be slaughtered.

_"Patience. I haven't been attacked yet."_

Unfortunately, it seemed I'd spoken to soon.

As soon as the words were out of my head, the two demons broke into an angry sprint.

There was a fair amount of distance they had to cover, so I kept my body calm and relaxed. Once they were in a dangerous proximity, I'd worry about defense.

However, they only got halfway across the grimy concrete before a loud voice interrupted.

"STOP!"

Both demons ceased in their steps, nearly snarling again, before glaring at the carrier of the command.

"This is the one I told you two keep alive," Loki angrily vexed.

I didn't spare him a glance, and paid little attention to how odd of a command that was. Instead, my mind worked to develop a plan.

"What is so special about this one?" one of the Zaabaj's who'd been ready to attack me, hissed.

"I brought you to this planet. I am allowing you to run free. Do not question my order," came the steely response.

The Zaabaj slowly turned its face back to me, mouth set in a defiant scowl.

My lips didn't speak what was on my mind. Which was somewhere along how he'd be perfect for those haunted houses teenagers traveled through to get a scare.

More importantly, I needed to hear the clan speaking to each other. So I could determine how to bargain with them. Again, not an easy task with beings who cared about no one else except themselves.

"Are you the God's whore?" the Zaabaj suddenly taunted, scarlet eyes flying over me.

"No," I answered slowly, lips flying up at the thought. "Are you?"

This time, a full on growl was released into the atmosphere from the army behind him.

Together, they sounded like the Earth beneath my feet was splitting apart, beginning a cataclysmic quake.

I was still grinning when Loki's towering form suddenly blocked my sight of them.

During the exchange, he'd stalked over, most likely making sure the situation didn't explode prematurely.

"Lucy," he said evenly, fixing his eyes onto mine, "I am offering you an ultimatum, something I do not give out lightly. Give me back my staff and I will spare your life."

Studying the looming God, I tilted my head, pondering over the blank expression he carried.

My surprise came at how empty he appeared. I would have thought he'd be absolutely jubilant about having an army to command, ready to overrun this pathetic world.

But instead, the only emotion showing was through his eyes, and I didn't have the time to figure out what they were trying to express.

"What did Thor say to make you so angry?" I softly questioned. Because despite the chaos he had opened Earth up to, I felt this unquenchable desire to not give up on him so easily.

"Irrelevant," he replied, almost in frustration.

Now, his impassive mask was beginning to crack.

"If that's all you're going to reply with...then get out of my way."

"L-."

"Get. Out. Of. My. Way. I've got a planet to save and don't think I won't knock you flat on your ass again to do it," I warned.

His eyes narrowed, not enjoying the demand.

"You are sorely outnumbered, outmatched, and inexperienced. What can a bringer of peace truly accomplish when the opponent ceases to cooperate?" he spat.

"Haven't I taught you anything, Loki? Anyone can be bargained with. One must simply show them logic."

"They will not listen to it," he insisted harshly, one hand moving halfway toward me before dropping down to his side. "Your decision is careless and foolish. You are walking to your death!"

This time, my fingers pulsed, the sensation storming throughout every nerve of my body.

Keep it back. C'mon, keep it back.

Exhaling slowly, I met Loki's green gaze one last time.

"Why do you care?" I inquired softly, brown eyes widening in the slightest curiosity. "I'm just a woman. One you haven't taken to liking. Tell me in what instance would my death possibly be a depressing thought for you?"

I knew even before he did, that there wouldn't be an answer to the question. He personally wouldn't allow this. Which didn't bother me. I had more important things to worry about. Like how behind him, the Zaabaj's were getting restless.

Following a newfound cycle of careful breathing, I swerved around the Asgardian and came to stand before the demon clan once more, far closer to their indented, hate-filled postures.

"Your hearts beat for war. Tell me there is something you thirst for besides this," I asked.

"Ignorant creature. We crave nothing, value nothing, and thirst for nothing but the blood of our victims."

A joint agreement of a growl sounded behind the demon who'd spoken.

"What of your God, Portios? He personally spoke to you all. Talked of the dangers your feuding will bring."

"If such words are said by Portios, than I denounce him as my God," was his reply.

Oh, boy.

"So you would rather watch your brothers' fall than cease warring?" I questioned, taking a step forward.

"They will go down honorable. Whatever God judges them, will do so honorably."

Now, I was beginning to get frustrated. And in reply, my fingers resumed their twitching.

"It is honorable to slaughter innocent people?" I mused indignantly, continuing my steps forward. "How could one possibly think such a terrible thing will lead them into honor in the after life? This realm has a term for what you are doing. It's called terrorism."

To my surprise, the demon who'd done most of the talking, grinned. But there was nothing happy in the action. In fact, I could almost guarantee the grin was a warning.

Seconds later, and I felt a hand seize my wrist, tugging it back.

Unperturbed by the Zaabaj's leer, I threw off whoever grabbed on to me, continuing the stare.

"Do you think your defiance wise?" I goaded, momentarily ignoring the spasm my fingers seemed to indulge in. "Because know that I will do whatever it takes to prevent this war."

The Zaabaj's grin nearly tore his face in half. Which is saying something.

"You? A laughable mortal? Woman, at that, who believes that knowing the enemy and appealing to Portios will bring peace? I do not know the God's motive for keeping you alive, but I know that once we are done pillaging this planet, you will be the last to die. Not immediately. I want you to see the destruction we will bring to this inferior group of insipid mammals," the demon roared, voice barking like a scorching flame. "You will lose everything, I promise you this. I will tear out the very entrails of your heart, beating and grasping for life, red and black, and I will rip into it with my teeth, eat it and bare its empty contents for all the world to see! That is what I will do!"

My mind purposely blocked out the eager roars from behind the demon. No need to get excited.

And yet despite this, the fingers I'd been ignoring throughout the hate speech, seemed to teem now with irrepressible energy.

I sucked in a deep breath, attempting to barricade the energy from seeping through, but it took mere seconds this time before my self-control was left in waste.

Out of nowhere, a ripple shot through my entire body, not painfully, but enough to give me a jolt. And instead of raising my fears at the Zaabaj's words, I felt a sense of overwhelming power flush through me, spreading and seeping into every organ, every nerve, and every particle that was possible in keeping me alive.

_"I can't hold it back. Please, send some away. It's too much."_

But my words weren't pleaded out because despite the horrifying amount of energy racing through me, I had never felt so alive. Like I could personally see the elements, atoms, molecules hovering in the oxygen around me. Responsible for so much life. For all of life, really.

My spurted breaths now came out as a translucent, gold color. When glancing down at my hands, pale and shaking at one point, I found them encased in a gilded hue.

What's happening?

I glanced up, feeling like lifetimes had passed by of me simply observing my own abnormal transformations.

Rather than observing me, however, the Zaabaj's were content with throwing leering cackles into the night, so confident of their victory.

It seemed as if no one noticed what was occurring to me, or simply remained blind to it.

I gritted my teeth, trying desperately to at least reel in the christening, but the sheer will of holding back, only made the energy that much more eager to burst forward.

Well, what do we do now?

"I am warning you all," I interrupted suddenly, forcing my voice to remain uncompromised, "that if you don't leave this realm right now, you will be sorely sorry."

Damn it, there comes in the lame warning again. Couldn't they have written a phrasebook of awesome one-liners to say when staring sure annihilation in the face?

A wave of cruel laughter washed over me, some Zaabaj's actually clutching at the searing flesh of their bellies, and I nearly convulsed at the sound.

My body, enraged about the condescending laughter, wanted to do nothing more than lash out from within.

If this is going to happen, I've got to have some margin of control over it.

However, with this understanding came a huge problem. Perhaps the most prominent problem of all.

I would be having hundreds of spectators witnessing my abilities. Of a being not meant to exist. From an obscure realm. Somewhere far, far away.

Now that is something I _cannot _afford to let happen.

My body abruptly shuddered, fully in tune with the workings of my brain, but not content with the decision. It wanted me to embrace the intense force it presented.

Again, I felt a hand grip around my wrist, this time, instead of turning me; the individual simply placed their cool lips near a patch of skin beneath my ear.

"Let this happen," the voice whispered. "I promise no harm will come to you, despite what he said."

The chill breath of the God seemed to travel straight into my ear, and reached my frantically beating heart.

"Loki," I softly spoke, eyes fluttering shut every few seconds, "do you really want this? What they are about to do? Because I don't think even you will be able to stop their hunger for ruin, especially since it outweighs your own."

The lips slipped a centimeter, but stayed rooted to the patch of skin. Almost as if clinging to it.

"No."

The one word took guts upon guts to admit, and I could find no false waver even in the hesitation of his voice.

I turned to him, everything around us seemingly frozen in place.

The taunting Zaabaj's, ready to sprint, stayed immobile in their laughter. Somewhere above, Iron Man's turbo speed regressed to a near snail like crawl. Somewhere far behind me or to the side or who knows where, Clint and Thor, most likely watching on initching anticipation, processed their thoughts at a millisecond a minute.

Studying the looming God, I tilted my head, pondering over the blank expression he carried.

I was aware time wasn't actually disrupted, but the view around the grim city was uncannily still, and Loki's face peering back at mine, the first signs of unease resting in his frown, possibly knowing that bringing the Zaabaj's to Earth wasn't such a grand idea, made my breath catch momentarily.

He's scared. Oh, but it would take a million deaths before he could admit it.

Despite the severity of our surroundings, I couldn't help but take Loki in with a tranquil smile.

His eyebrows visibly knitted at this, and before he could open his mouth and ruin the introspective moment, I kissed him.

I did not move to touch, or to hold, or to grasp on like it was the last one I'd share with a being. Instead, I avidly pressed my lips into his own, eyes closed, silently ejecting my own form of forgiveness for him. And somewhere in the back of my mind, that same illogical battle came back to me.

How am I able to forgive him so easily?

And then, the logical side replied.

Because he is the archetype of every being in existence. Of their faults. Their determination for salvation. Their involvement into the worst of emotions. And to dismiss his guilt may ultimately destroy more than just him.

The kiss lasted only seconds, and I pulled away with a sigh after my lips had done their duty, eyes studying his own before meeting his emerald stare.

"Get back," I softly demanded, "I can't hold it away for long. Just...get back and don't worry about me."

"I wasn't-."

"Loki," I interjected, voice holding a bit more fire in it, "for once in your life, acknowledge someone else's command besides your own. Get. Back."

The God shot a quick glance toward the beings he'd brought to the world, jaw clenching at the sight. He looked ready to say something, but time was running out for conversation.

"Go," I ordered again.

Loki gave me one last scan before retreating.

As soon as the God was out of sight, I spun back around to the Zaabaj. Now, they remained my only focus.

"I offer you one last chance to surrender. Go back to your realm and all will be forgotten."

The words were ridiculously difficult to speak since every nerve of mine itched to settle the matter itself, and a wrathful quiver stabilized itself within my vocal chords when I prolonged action. Whatever rumbled inside me, did not care for my diplomacy.

"Prepare yourselves, my friends," their main speaker declared, turning his body halfway to face his clan, "for tonight, we dine on the flesh of creatures filthier than us. We pick our teeth with the bones of infant's fingers. Tonight, we will embrace that which calls closest to our hearts."

Hearing this would have chilled anyone, and I was momentarily awed that Thor and his recruitments didn't come charging in.

Awed, and relieved.

I've got to ask myself. One final time. Is there anything I can do? As Queen, I am to show mercy even upon the darkest of creatures. Is there such mercy available?

The answer was inconsolably clear, and I felt the regret seep in only for a second, before it was washed away entirely.

A minute later and I released the unbearable hold of energy I had tried so hard to contain.

In seconds, all of the light I had seen hovering around my body, no longer became visible to just my eyes. I only had to observe the reaction of the demons before me to know they too were seeing it.

To describe what I felt coursing through my body, I can only offer this one description. If all of the energy in every single object of every single country in every single planet of every single realm was able to compress into one being, I would be that. Like a great, big ball of pure, untainted, energy.

It's almost indescribable how completely filled and overwhelmed my entire being felt.

Out of the corner of my eyes, I was able to note that it was no longer just a strand of hair flying up into a separate direction, as pale as the dustiest moon. All around me, my auburn strands soared into the thick atmosphere, crackling and swaying to an invisible rhythm, sighing into the night as a blinding pale overran their natural color.

"Know that I have given you proper warning," I acknowledged, voice regressing back to that ancient tone I'd taken on with Loki. "Now, I am going to display the consequence of ignoring my words."

And before one Zaabaj could even begin to question what was going on before them, I stretched out my left arm. My eyes briefly scanned the long limb, amazed all over again at the gold mist surrounding the pale skin.

My first thought came out as something like this.

What in the hell is happening to me?

And then.

Huh, so this is what I look like under proper lighting.

This amusement was battled away as soon as I opened up my palm and raised my index finger. The Zaabaj who'd been speaking, taunting, and threatening me all evening, was my primary focus.

With two quick movements, I beckoned the leader forward with a jerk from my finger.

The beauty was that even though he protested, tried digging his hoofs into the concrete, the Zaabaj quickly found himself moving toward me against his will, eyes enraged, and teeth gnashing.

The ethics of what I was doing had long ago left me. If the universe was against my actions, it would do everything in its power, which really meant it didn't have to do much, to prevent this sudden surplus of energy.

Instead, it was helping me. That had to stand for something, right?

Not that I could justify it in such a way. Even though the power was exhilarating to carry, I felt the familiar distress usually accompanying it whenever I was the recipient of such a grand amount of energy.

Then again, what was happening to me now, was unlike any form of power I'd ever held.

Regardless, watching the Zaabaj struggle to keep from approaching me only reaffirmed my belief that no being should have such a vast amount of endless power. To have that type of control over another's fate, over an entire realms for that matter, wasn't right. Life was filled with chance meetings. With destinies meant to be altered. Not to be controlled by some invincible woman.

Almost painfully, the Zaabaj's movements ceased, body nearly toppling over himself from the muscles he used to prevent his march.

"Watch now," I called to the comrades behind him, all watching on in raw incredulity.

"This is what I can _personally _guarantee will happen to every one of you if you do not leave this realm and take your ideas of genocide with you."

Before their incredulity could grow to anger, I brought my index finger back down and snuggled it back beside my thumb. With palm facing up, I kept my hand in a tight fist.

Careful, now. I've got to do this right.

An icy wind blew at me, but I found its presence refreshing. My body's temperature had shot up to an unhealthy degree.

Breathe in, breathe out. Focus on the particles making him up. The electrons and protons and atoms and molecules and bits of the Arcticum star.

Slowly but surely, my hand began to tremble, a tad bit overwhelmed with how much it truly took to run a being. All of the organs, the veins, tissue, bone, flesh. Really, it was quite enthralling.

And like one would release a butterfly they've caught between their palms, I easily spread out the fingers I'd previously kept clutched together, into separate directions.

With my action, the Zaabaj before me, ceased to exist. And when I say this, I mean it quite literally. One second, the demon stood petrified to the concrete, the next, he had vaporized into thin air.

The gasps weren't surprising, but the realization that I'd actually decimated a being, something I was sure no Queen before me had, was.

Don't panic. Remember, it's a warning. I'm in control. I'm not obeying the energy anymore. It's obeying me. The universe entrusts a Queen with this form of power because it deems her worthy to carry it. To be noble and content with its handling. To understand when to use it and when to keep it tucked away.

Although, I was quite sure the act of actually tucking away what overran my body minutes ago, was an impossible task.

"What have you done?" a Haabaj screeched, springing forward.

In an instance, my hand was redirected toward him, fingers still splayed in different directions.

But the demon got the hint, immediately digging the back of his heels into the cement in a silent submission.

Swallowing, I inhaled the buzzing air around me. The sensation rocked into the sides of my nostrils, streaming into me, allowing me to see the world in the same way, but then again, so differently.

"In one wave of a hand, I can do away with an entire race," I declared.

No one said a word. In actuality, it sounded like everyone was too terrified to breathe, leaving downtown eerily quiet for once.

"Be thankful that I do not crave to conquer you, or anyone for that matter," I continued, eyes meeting each Zaabaj. "I am simply a woman who believes that every being should have a right to live life without it being taken unlawfully. And if I must display the most private of my abilities to do so, then know I will do so without regrets. Ask yourself quickly whether you wish to continue on. If you answer unfavorably, know that what has been done to your leader is something I will not hesitate to do to you."

I don't know how many minutes really passed by, but I do know that despite the abilities I had rushing through me, my arm began to cramp uncomfortably from holding itself up. Which is quite absurd to complain about, especially since I had virtually incinerated an alien.

But nevertheless, my hand continued to quiver ever so slightly.

I can wipe out a demon but can't even hold my hand steady for a few minutes? Now that is remarkable.

"We accept."

Flinging my gaze away from my hand, I glanced up at the demon who'd spoken.

"We will return back to our realm."

I nodded, releasing a relieved sigh of my own.

"If you come back to this realm again with war stored in your hearts, know what awaits you," I warned. "If you come for matters other than this, you may be surprised at the mercy and kindness meeting you."

The Zaabaj still rooted to the cement before me, shifted in place, obviously uncomfortable at the humiliating position.

Carefully, I removed my hand from his direction, but instead of lowering it, I moved it back into the direction from which I had vanquished the first Zaabaj.

"If your lesson has been learned, then I will return to you that which I have taken," I spoke aloud, concentration settling deep within me.

Little by little, my fingers, outstretched and perhaps the most powerful things in all the realms right now, began to come together. And with this, I tugged at the particles once responsible for keeping the vanquished Zaabaj alive, like hyperactive puppies on a leash.

None of the demon clan moved, but their incredulity returned into their creviced faces.

Nice and easy, now. Just like I went over in my head.

Slowly but surely, the particles, molecules, atoms, electrons, protons, molded back together. Initially, the process was invisible to the eyes of others. But ever so gradually, solid began to appear to the naked eye.

First, the heart, pear shaped and sky blue. It pulsed even before the body appeared. Next, the lungs, charcoal black and triangular, but lungs nonetheless, came together like strands of DNA. The legs, arms, and torso seemed to appear out of thin air, but I knew it was far more complicated than this. The veins took a particularly long time to materialize.

I didn't think much about my conduction, didn't even notice what sort of reactions I was garnering. I was unnaturally focused; making sure the Zaabaj would unify itself with all of his body parts in tact.

Wouldn't want a claw on his hiney.

And if you haven't guessed as of yet, this was the first time I'd ever took a physical being apart, then forced them back together. And although I had the plan in mind minutes before I actually "murdered" the Zaabaj to prove a point, it still didn't make it any less nerve wracking.

It was like teleporting. The utmost concentration was needed, and the elements around me had to be removed from my state of mind lest I lost the demon completely.

It's dramatic to state that eons passed before the Zaabaj was finally a living, breathing body again, but having never tried the procedure, this is a rather accurate measure.

My first pang of guilt came when the demon took its first step, only to fall to the ground beneath him with a grunt.

An annoyed growl pierced the air, but none of the Zaabaj's clan ventured near the injured being.

Finally dropping my arm and shaking off the excess energy, I began a march toward him.

Where once the energy was struggling to overpower me, now it simply sat patiently within, humming at the sudden release.

"Here," I offered, extending my arm to the demon below. "It's not charity. It's a compromise."

I don't know if I was more surprised that the Zaabaj actually grabbed my hand, or shocked at how foreign his claw felt, snapping firmly over my palm.

In seconds, the demon was back on his hooves, red eyes staring at me impassively.

"Go, all of you," I demanded, eyes scanning the army behind him. "Before I change my mind."

Which wasn't likely to happen, but I really needed them to believe in my new badass tone.

The demon, however, only kept on staring.

As he watched on, I could sense the glow around me, an extra-terrestrial pale, simmer down back to normalcy. My hair, once carrying the speed of a tornado, pure white and glowing, blended back to its' auburn color.

"You are not of any realm."

Surprised, I found the Zaabaj's stare fixed on me. Now, there was trepidation boiling in the red of his eyes as they flickered slowly over my form.

"You are older than star dust. Older than my God. Any God."

I met his open stare with a shrug, self consciousness seeping in. No longer did this feel like Loki or Thor trying to decipher something. Instead, it felt impersonal, as if I was being studied like a specimen in a cage.

Worse yet, it made me feel distinctive. Not to just any of the beings from the nine realms, but from beings of my very own.

Loki said the exact same thing.

"Leave."

This time, the warning shot back into my voice. Whether it was a result of not being thrilled at the words, or simply impatience barreling through, I couldn't say.

Fortunately, this was enough for the Zaabaj.

Without much of a fight, he sprinted back to his clan, risking a few glances behind to make sure I wasn't following.

It took but mere seconds before the Haabaj were huddled as close together as possible. I knew this wasn't because of fear. This was to make sure they didn't leave anyone behind, a common display when a grand amount of beings were traveling.

One blinding flash of sapphire light later and all of downtown was cleared of the threat, empty and dingy once more.

Too close. Dear me, that was far too close.

Sweat pooled at my back and heart still beating rapidly were two very subtle examples of this thought.

A sigh rushed out of me, and with it, I felt the tension scramble away. Especially in my shoulders, where I felt like most of the energy layed dormant.

"Lucy."

Stilling, I weakly slid my eyes closed.

Oh. I did just get all freaky in front a whole bunch of people, didn't I?

Braving a mask of determination, I slowly turned, eyes open and ready to take on their stares. Even if I didn't have the slightest idea of how to explain what just happened.

There was a small crowd of people studying me with everything ranging from flabbergasted to wariness.

The upside?

Loki and Thor were actually standing within ten feet of each other. Definitely not because brutalization was on their minds.

The God of Mischief appeared entranced.

The God of Thunder was silenced into disbelief.

Clint, who'd spoken my name, regarded me like he'd never seen me before. Which was a bit disheartening. I was still the same person...just...a bit more challenged.

Who I imagined to be Iron Man, stood not far from Clint, eyes calculating an inaudible problem. I was sure his mind was at work, attempting to figure out just how the hell exactly my actions were possible.

To the right of him stood a woman in a black, skin tight jumpsuit with wild, orange hair. Her eyes pierced through me. This was the one who regarded me warily.

And to the right of her stood a calm man in a white t-shirt, brown jacket, and black pants. He too was calculating a problem behind his spectacles.

The last man's eyes I met was geared up in red, white, and blue, with a shield instinctively, or so I hoped, drawn before him.

How do I go about this?

Before I could even get a single word out, something inside me churned. Like every one of my organs was being grasped on to by an invisible force.

Taken off guard by this sudden activity that succeeded in leaving me absolutely breathless, my knees collapsed from underneath my weight.

But, I did not meet concrete.

Instead, the surface below me began to vanish, road making way for an ungraspable ground.

It took not even a full second to comprehend what was happening. Less than two before I realized I was being teleported by force, back to my realm.

TLOTLOTLOTLO

Rather than a gentle lowering, my knee caps impacted firm marble beneath me. And if the floor was marble, then so was the entire room. And there were only eight beings who helped me run the entire universe from within a marble room.

Immediately, all of the confidence I had felt when facing the Zaabaj's, withered. My heart began beating frantically for a whole other reason than my abnormalities. And I'll admit that my first instinct was to remain crouched on the floor, eyes boring holes into the horizontal pattering beneath me. Anything to avoid the accusing stares aimed toward my form.

But pride and a need to explain my actions, refused me the chance to cower. I was still a Queen, and even without that, my dignity could not crash and burn simply because I felt dread at facing the consequences of my actions. Even when said actions were the only ones available.

Carefully, I pushed myself up on two shaky feet and with a careful brush to one shoulder, flinging off excess dust, I faced the room.

They sat in a semi circle upon eight thrones, raising high above those they gazed down on, which distinguished them as something other than common beings. Four steps were molded to the foot of the chairs as well, only adding emphasis to their royal positions.

My surprise came when I noticed that the space in between each chair, approximately eight feet in length (go figure), was piled with people who appeared to be squished in between just to get a glance at me. In fact, the entire area behind them was filled with citizens; making the council chambers the most crowded I'm sure they'd ever been before.

Twenty feet behind the chairs, the two, large, alcove doors were sealed shut, but already, I knew everyone in my realm waited outside that door, desperate to know what was occurring inside.

"Do you understand why it is that we have brought you here?"

Breathing in, I fought the urge to bow my head. The council member who'd spoken, Albertum, was the leader of the octavium, or eight person council, and above all, I had to show him my respect. He was always reasonable.

"I understand."

I nearly slammed my eyes shut at how weak my voice sounded. As if I'd actually set the Zaabaj's loose on Earth.

"Then know why you will be punished immediately for your poor handling of the incident minutes prior," a steely voice retorted.

I visibly jumped at Mettelicius's venomous tone while the audience gathered in between the thrones, gasped.

"Respectfully, I believe I have the right to explain my actions," I input quickly, shooting daggers back at the aged man.

Mettelicius rose from his seat, tall and lanky, indigo robes sliding over the floor with him, gray hair splitting down to his cheeks in thick chunks, bronze eyes sealed within a vicious heat.

My heart sank when no council member moved to stop him.

"There is only one rule to follow when performing the duties as Queen," Mettelicius scolded, descending down the steps before him with a sneer. "One simple rule that you could not wrap your idiotic mind around. No one is to be made aware of our existence!"

"What of peace?" I defended, displeased at how one dimensional he made the position sound. "What of that, Mettelicius? Peace at all cost. That is why a Queen is chosen. That is why we watch over these rea-."

"Not to the point where our existence is revealed!" the angry man roared, stomping down in place with one boot.

Stunned, I trailed my eyes over the other seven members still seated, hoping they'd endorse my words. But they either refused to meet my gaze, or wore expressions just as severe as Mettelicius's.

What has he said to influence such a pungent mutiny?

"Ignorant and reckless, that is what she is!" Mettelicius proclaimed, spinning around to the people gathered between the thrones, one hand extending dramatically. "While we are neglected for over seven months, your "loyal" Queen scurries off to Midgard to mingle and copulate with the local mortals and Gods. Is this the woman you wish to run the universe from here and beyond?"

"No!" the crowd jeered back.

"While we await word from our most precious Queen, she is displaying her abilities left and right! Is that how a Queen should treat her people?"

"No!"

"And those who are aware of what has just occurred...tell me if you believe your Queen is stable enough to continue on. Or able to bury her own anger for the better good!"

"She is not a Queen!"

My heart nearly burst out of my chest at hearing residents of my own realm, even a few members of my very own palace, people I'd called friends once, joining in with the bitter assault.

"What could I have done?" I yelled, making sure the brief spell Mettelicius had cast on them, was broken. "They were ready to annihilate the entire race! Ready to overrun Earth a billion times and slaughter every defenseless woman, man, and child. Tell me what else I could have done!"

All of a sudden, the chambers quieted.

Then, ever so leisurely, Mettelicius took two steps toward me, eyes set into a malicious slant.

"I rather you left them than make them aware of what we are," he quietly proclaimed.

I couldn't contain the violent choke when it spilled out of me, not at just the cruel words, but at seeing a flurry of nods passing around the room after the words were spoken.

"We are not above them," I shrilled, hands shaking. "Just because we are not present to their eyes, does not mean that gives us the right to desert them when they are most vulnerable, nor when we are as well. Mettelicius is right. A part of a Queen's duty is to keep our race from exposure. But that should be overshadowed any day by what matters. Peace. Can you truly believe that containing the truth of our origin is worth billions of lives? Or how about an entire realm's? Could you live with yourselves then?"

The mood shifted into one of somberness, and to my relief, some of the council members glanced at Mettelicius nervously.

Unfortunately, I had been naive and gone from my realm for far too long to even begin to understand how large the hate Mettelicius held for me, truly was.

"For seven months, she deserted us. A Queen does not desert her people, no matter what event threatens the universe. She does not blindly lash out, or murder a being-."

"-who I had meant to bring back as soon as I vanquished-"

"-when she understands the severity of showcasing such...blasphemous power," Mettelicius declared, booming voice bouncing off the walls. "Our Queen has not only failed in her duty of staying loyal to her realm, but failed in protecting from the cruel creatures present in the nine realms. So few of us desire peace, and thanks to the woman before you, who from now on, I refuse to refer to as _my _Queen seeing as she is nothing of the sort, our realm has been opened up to invasion."

"How?" I sputtered, throwing out my hands. "They could not possibly follow us here. And they have no name of which to call me, or you. I may have displayed abilities to them, but how would they be able to even begin to determine what we are? Or that there are more of us?"

"I say we rid her from our realm to make sure such an invasion does not occur."

This time, it was not Mettelicius who spoke. But the familiarity of the voice only tore deeper into my heart.

Slowly, I turned to the man who suggested the act, perched near Albertum's throne.

"Eramus," I spoke, throat tightening, "do you honestly believe I would ever intentionally harm this realm? I was born here. I first came to love myself here. I realized my hopes and dreams and what I wished to do for the rest of my life, here. How could you so passively sentence me to a fate you know I do not deserve?"

My friend seemed unsure for a moment, lips opening and closing.

"Speak your mind, Eramus," Mettelicius relayed.

"Don't you dare!" I shouted, pointing at Mettelicius.

The man reatreated, but I realized it wasn't because of my words. It was because of the index finger I'd used to point at him with. With its previous known capability, the gesture made him nervous.

"She has prevented Midgard from being devastated," Albertum interrupted, coughing. The chambers fell silent when his voice broke through. "I believe she had no other alternative in her unique position. The universe spoke to her and as a result, the Zaabaj's are back in their realm and all is at peace."

Mettelicius snorted, crossing his arms.

"If she had never purposely attracted the attentions of the pseudo-God, Loki, then the Zaabaj's would have never aligned themselves with him. Those are a result of her own reckless actions. She must be held accountable for them. Look at everything she has ruined. We can no longer travel in disguise. Or help other realms as freely. Now, others are aware of us...and we know our weakness is our mercy."

The nods returned, and I felt my hope crumble.

"So it is decided then?" another council member voiced. "What punishment do you think will do, Albertum?"

Albertum still seemed hesitant to desert me, but with one glare from Mettelicius, I watched my saving grace slip away.

He met my eyes apologetically before turning to his second in command.

"Whatever you deem appropriate, Mettelicius," Albertum insisted quietly.

"Then so be it," Mettelicius triumphantly declared, facing me once more. "I, Mettelicius Portum, with the blessing of the Council Eight, hereby declare that the Queen is stripped of her position entirely with no chance of ever gaining it back. Which leads me to the second decree. From today on forward, I place an order of exile upon her to the realm Midgard. If she so happily loves the humans, then the rest of her life will consist of living among them. Because her actions have put our existence at stake, her eviction will serve as proper balance for our realm to never be discovered again. And if you think the punishment too severe, remember she is the only being in the billions of years we've lived, that has so inanely announced to the realms that we are among them."

"I di-."

"I bid you an eternity of growing old as the Midgardians do. Of warring and having little control of such foolish emotions, as the Midgardians do. And I take away that which the universe has granted."

Seconds later and I knelt unwillingly before the man, feeling as if my soul was being torn from my body. I trembled, sucking in oxygen, desperate for the stinging in my lungs to cease.

Meanwhile, all of the energy and comfort of the universe previously stored in me, was being ripped away.

To accomplish such a gruesome task, there was an incantation all of the council members memorized, had memorized for centuries just in case a Queen ever became too powerful. Or greedy. Or vengeful. Or a whole slew of reasons why such a position should be taken away.

And I was the first recipient of such actions.

I couldn't figure out the words Mettelicius murmured what with the chambers suddenly erupting in voices, some cheering on the council member, while others wondered if the punishment was too harsh, but I very much felt the side effects.

One final tug successfully expelled all available energy that had seemingly so long ago, helped protect Earth from an invasion.

"And now, Albertum if you and the council could rise. Together, we shall once and for all do away with this injudicious creature!"

My legs would not support my weight, so I was stuck with crawling my way over to the man, tears without warning, sliding out of my eyes.

"Please," I begged, my voice aching, "don't do this, Mettelicius. Throw me into the Gelida Spelunca for a few months. Anything but this! I never meant to expose what we are. I love this realm. I love my people. I would never desert my duties. I am so sorry I hadn't traveled back as often as I could have. Please...please, forgive me."

By this point, my fingers were grasping on to his robe, resting at a pile by his feet.

I understood I was groveling, but not even my pride could convince me to do otherwise. All that pulsed through me was a desire to not be dismissed so suddenly.

Instead, Mettelicius smirked before swinging his boot forward, and into my mouth.

This sudden display of violence earned a disapproving mumble from the audience, and on my way to the cold floor, I noted Eramus taking a step forward, again, so unsure of his place anymore.

Before I could take them all in, my skull met the marble, bang resonating painfully as blood trickled from my mouth.

And this time, the wound would last.

For a moment, all of the shouting in the chamber became muffled in my ears. In my vantage point from the ground, I could feel my life drastically changing. For the worse. Very definitely for the worst.

I wanted to desperately cry tears of betrayal, not tears of anger, but I could not change the way my emotions ran.

Maybe I deserve this. I knew the rule.

Through bleary eyes, I observed the once tightly wound beings of my realm, suddenly erupting into copious hyenas, so thirsty for some form of punishment. Like savages.

Friends, once. Women I'd gossiped with during dinner. Men of whose children I had given courage to during troubling times. Ancient women whom I had participated in long discussions with. Beings who I would give my life for in an instance.

All against me.

Sound suddenly raced back into my ears, and my predicament became unbearably clear.

I was being kicked out of my realm forever. My position as Queen was revoked. And the universe, once so comforting and immaculate, had been ripped out, never to greet me again.

I never even found out why it was mad at me. Or what the hell happened to my body.

A renewal of determination filled me, screaming at me to get back on my feet and face the cruel man. Let him know that even with everything he'd taken, I was still someone of worth.

And for a moment, I was able to do just that.

But the council's unanimous incantation overwhelmed me, and back to the ground I traveled, landing on my butt.

And then suddenly, amid the chaos and shouts and multiple chants, a shriek erupted.

"Stop, please!"

I craned my head to the sound of the protest, and let out a shudder when Clatia pushed herself through the crowd, fierce expression battling over her features. Behind her, the doors stood wedged open, more beings attempting to squeeze into the chambers.

"For what reason are you kicking her out?" Clatia demanded, marching across the floor. Certainly further than any of the other residents dared tread.

"Treason. Disloyalty. And the unlawful exposure of our race. Keeping her on Midgard is beneficial for our entire race and there is nothing you will be able to say that will sway this decision otherwise!" Mettelicius snapped.

Clatia glanced down at me, eyes softening when she took in the blood pouring from my lips.

Quietly, she strode over, but not before glancing at the council, whom had formed a straight line, all ready to begin the incantation of banishment once more.

"If you are exiling the Queen, then know you are exiling me as well."

And without warning, Clatia sank down to her knees beside me, one hand grabbing my pale one.

Mettelicius observed the action for only a brief second before continuing the words.

The council hardly seemed fazed either, and followed soon after.

I was powerless to stop the slow spinning inhabiting my head or the yank of my body as it began its last teleportation from home.

Instead, I squeezed my eyes shut, willing myself to wake up from this nightmare. Only there were things so horribly desolate. Vacant. Hopeless.

But upon opening my eyes due to the rapid shift in temperature, I recognized myself in a different scenery altogether.

I was sitting on a sidewalk. More specifically, the sidewalk in front of my apartment. Los Angeles was still entrapped within darkness, and the cold night immediately overwhelmed any heat I had left in my body.

Weakly, I took in Clatia who throughout the entire process, grasped on to my hand without so much as hesitation.

"Is this the place you live?" she softly whispered to me, eyes scanning the premises.

The street was clear as of now, and somewhere in the back of my mind, I determined it must have been close to four o'clock in the morning.

"Yes," I spoke.

And those were the last words I managed to get out because as soon as this realization truly sunk into me, the hot, slippery tears began falling.

I didn't even remember grasping on to Clatia's form, or burying my head into the crook of her neck as strangled cries broke through me.

I only remember rocking back and forth on the cold cement below me, sobbing uncontrollably. Something I had never done before in my life. Something that felt unexplainably overdue. Like my inner child, after so many years of being buried, burst through.

My body shook violently, the betrayal and feelings of unworthiness overriding everything else. I sounded like a wounded animal, choking in oxygen as tears and blood intermixed.

Clatia tried soothing me with kind words, but my mind rejected them upon first listen. It was too weary, too broken to accept them.

Too ashamed of myself.

On that sidewalk, I wept until my throat was raw. And on that sidewalk, I mourned the loss of everything that once made me whole.

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**Yes, so I had "Lucy" be kicked out. And I wanted her to be truly distraught as a result, thus showing a completely new side, and perhaps setting forth an emotion that she'd been battling while on Earth. And yes, politics are dirty, even in the most peaceful realm in the universe. But the plot rolls on and things will change...maybe? Sorry if this seemed rushed or there's sentence errors. I had to quickly update this because I won't be writing for at least another day. And when "Lucy" says 'Filius a Canis' to herself while Clint is driving, she's saying "son of a bitch" in Latin. Let me know your thoughts in a review!**


	12. Do the Peaceful Dream of Vengeance?

**Thank you all so very much for the reviews. To everyone who said I made them cry...I am sorry, but that's absolutely heart warming to hear from readers! Really, I can't explain how much the reviews mean to me. I read them over and over whenever my inspiration sputters out because I'm determined to not leave it on an indefinite hiatus, and they always help me move along. So again, thank you everyone, very, very much. I also altered some things from the last chapter. Small mistakes like grammar or sentence structure. Just to make the story run smoother. It's not something I recommend looking back at since this chapter is now here. Which I've got to say...I did not mean for it to get so long. But I couldn't shut off my fingers and as a result, this is all coming to you in one great heap. Enjoy!**

* * *

**Chapter 12 - Do the Peaceful Dream of Vengeance?**

"Please, talk to me."

I paused at the counter, hands frozen in scrubbing the other beet red underneath the scalding water. The same thing I'd been occupied with doing for the past five minutes.

Shakily, I retracted my hands and turned off the sink. My lips fell into a grimace when burning, wrinkled flesh met the cool metal.

"I don't want to...discuss it right now, Clatia."

My friend released an audible sigh, a clear sign of her frustration with me. Which I didn't blame. Ever since crying myself into unconsciousness in her arms a night ago, I'd been reluctant to speak of my exile.

So much turmoil and self-blame for the actions leading to my disgraceful fall still stirred inside me. Troubles I hadn't picked up on because I had stayed gone for so long. Blind to the things that mattered.

It made me wonder most of all where my true loyalties lied. Mettelicius had been so rash and consumed with anger in claiming I preferred Earth to my realm. And at the time, I couldn't believe such a notion to be possible.

Being exiled, however, tends to make you rethink a whole bunch of issues you hadn't cognitively wondered at the moment. And if he was able to rally so much support in the time I'd been gone, then that meant he wasn't the only one convinced of this idea.

Although I loved Clatia with all my heart, especially with the bravery she'd shown when sticking by my side, I still felt immensely guilty whenever the topic came up. A guilt that managed to freeze my lungs in place and expand the churning swell in my stomach to nearly painful proportions.

In fact, I actually tended to ignore any instances in which my friend tried discussing the matter. She had a heart of intense sympathy, and I felt like I was the last person in existence who deserved it.

This time, however, I underestimated Clatia's resolve.

By the time I had turned around, she was already in my face, eyes set in the same determination she'd showed within the chambers.

"A Queen does _not_ beat herself up."

Snorting, I glanced down at my pruned hands.

"Were I still a Queen, perhaps this rule would apply. But you and I both know I am nothing of the sort. Can't we just drop it?"

Seconds ticked by, but Clatia made no move to retreat.

She did sigh again, however, not out of anger though.

"You are ridiculously stubborn when you want to be."

"I am not," I defended slowly, meeting her amused gaze.

"Yes, you are."

Her quick smile was replaced with a concerned tilt of the head. One of her beautifully sculpted hands slipped into my own. And despite the gesture being so childish in nature, the calm I felt was undeniable.

"Give me a minute to explain my theory. Only a minute."

She tried sounding nonchalant, but I knew how important this minute was. Clatia had always been a talented wordsmith. What she had to say in some size, shape, or form, would make me confront the topic whether I liked it or not.

"Considering what you've done for me, I guess I am powerless to grant you this. Just...let me get some tissue, just in case I start weeping again."

And this act had become a frequent occurrence as of late. Not to the degree of the night on the sidewalk, of course, but any time I was reminded that Los Angeles would be my home for the rest of my life and that I'd pained an entire realm with my decisions, a few hot tears traveled down my cheeks and flung themselves off my chin like rain drops.

The worst part by far was my appearance after one of these self blaming sessions. Once pale cheeks were devolved to a blotchy red. A puffiness settled itself beneath my bottom lashes, and it took a good few minutes even after I stopped crying, for the glassiness to disappear from within my eyes.

Seconds later and we were gathered on the sofa, Clatia perched stiffly as if the furniture was a rigid chair, and I taking comfort in leaning back into the soft surface.

The differences in position didn't isolate me from a message.

Clatia sat like our realm practiced. Still and shoulders forced back.

I, on the other hand, had long ago accepted Earth traditions.

Lazing back into the sofa was just another one of those changes I hadn't even realized I'd made.

And yet...could it have been partly responsible for denouncing certain mannerisms from home? Certain customs that led to my alteration in thought processes as well?

Ridiculous to believe, but sadly, I was willing to accept the ridiculous right about now.

"Go ahead," I announced, fingers clutching on to the toilet paper.

"Alright...I want you to know this first. Mettelicius does not have nearly as much support as he would have you believe. What he did have, however, was the right timing. And the right words. Combine these two and we have the situation at present."

"My exile?"

"Yes."

I nodded, closing my eyes. My tongue went to wet my dry lips, but I cringed when it met the open gash instead.

"Albertum was right. You have got to know that as well. You had no alternative option. The Zaabaj were going to slaughter the people, and the power the universe supplied you with, saved their lives. You performed the duty of a Queen."

Opening my mouth to argue that the flux of power wasn't exactly voluntary, I shut up seconds later. It was her minute.

"The problem is...the extent of the power. The octavium, and I'm sure every resident of our realm, had never seen such strength before. Your control of it seemed effortless. You were the bringer of unheard of energy. With just a flick of a hand, you took a being out of the universe. And then with one more, you brought them back. That was...intense."

She glanced over to make sure I was following her, and in return, I offered a weak smile.

"People were scared," she admitted, observing her hands for a moment. "No Queen in present or past history had ever been entitled to so much. Or displayed such overwhelming power. Then again, we have no idea how much energy the universe does supply the Queen with."

"Not to the degree you witnessed," I agreed.

"Mettelicius took in the realm's fear and reminded them of your claimed desertion. But I also think he was just as fearful of what happened to you. And unfortunately, to the council, your display of strength rattled them up. So much so that the thought of you being exiled from the realm and stripped of your position seemed like a great idea because the thought of you being so powerful unnerved them. And by involving yourself with the mortals of this realm as well as Loki and Thor...well, Mettelicius knew how to slander you."

The watering built like a tsunami, but I kept blinking it back, determined not to lose composure so easily.

What does it matter anymore? I'm not performing for my realm. I don't have to keep on a mask of constant confidence. Perhaps I'm more like the beings of this realm than I realize.

"I'm sorry if it feels like I'm attacking you."

Meeting her concerned stare, I leaned back further into the sofa. My mouth tried opening, but my throat tightened in reply, and that same welling of guilt, began to pulse greedily inside me.

"I deserve it," was what I managed to get out with a strangled breath.

"But you don't!" she insisted, breaking from her stiff position. "You think me brave for what I had done, but I only learned my lesson from you. The Zaabaj were ready to cause genocide upon Earth. You were faced with a decision. Leave the people, which would prevent the exposure of what we were, or stay and do whatever it took to save their lives. You didn't even think about it. That sort of bravery, when you are able to stare death in the face and still do the right thing, even if it hurts you as a result, is what I admire. And will until my dying day."

The wall of salty tears, broke.

A second later and I was dabbing at my heated cheeks, attempting to find comfort in Clatia's words.

"I never wanted this," I evenly mentioned despite the tears staining my face. "To expose what we were. To put our realm in danger. I wanted so badly to be a good Queen. Make the realm see me as someone who didn't ignore them. Distribute peace when so little seemed to be polluting the realms."

"And you did...you did."

Swallowing, I wiped away the last of the wetness beneath my eyes.

"Then how come it feels like I did the complete opposite? I understand people suffer for their beliefs. I am not so weak willed as to believe exposing a race is a better choice than saving a person's life. Even if that is the decision which led to my exile. But it feels like I truly did murder that Zaabaj, and never brought him back. I feel...awful. And empty."

Clatia studied me quietly, wearing a flurry of emotions clear across her face.

"You can only feel as bad as you allow yourself to. We both know Mettelicius is wrong. And there are probably residents of our realm at this moment who are thinking the exact same thing. Especially after he kicked you. Were that someone other than a council member, they'd have been locked in the Gelida Spelunca immediately. But you've got something in you that no one on our realm has. Not even I. Something that will make coping with this exile, easier."

When I rose an incredulous eyebrow, Clatia gave me a pointed stare.

"You have remarkable preservation."

At this, I couldn't help snorting.

"The woman who read eight books a day for ten years straight, over the history of every Queen from our realm, lacks preservation? It'll have to take a bit more than that to convince me."

Clatia shrugged shyly.

"I can't say I'd be handling your situation so well were it me."

"I've sobbed myself silly and successfully consumed all of our remaining toilet paper. My reaction hasn't been all that splendid," I chided, sniffling.

"But you are still you," she insisted, eyes widening. "Even when you're so hard on yourself, you're not holding a grudge against the octavium or prepared to establish vengeance. And considering everything you lost and the betrayals brought forth, you still believe in the choice you made. Where I would have...been in constant doubt."

It took about a minute for her words to truly dawn on me.

Even though presenting my abilities to the Zaabaj had led to exile, Clatia was right. I had not as of yet blamed myself for initiating the act. Even if said act wasn't begun voluntarily.

And it always came back to the same thought. If I had simply teleported out of the city when the Zaabaj threatened my life, simply deserted the billions of residents who were not yet aware of what sort of danger they were in, the consequences wouldn't be something I could soberly live with. I even had a difficult time imagining such a massacre.

Perhaps Thor and his friends would have been able to hold off some of them, but eventually, the clan would have overran the planet. Their thirst for destruction was desperately unquenchable. More than Loki could have imagined.

And yet, death was their fear. As it seems like every powerful beings is.

"Clatia," I voiced.

My friend inclined her head, showing me her attention.

I inhaled slowly, wondering how to word the explanation.

"When I killed the Zaabaj, the power I used...wasn't something I could contain. It felt as if the universe was forcing that strength through me. I had tried to tug it back...hoped it wouldn't burst through, but something happened inside my body to where this became impossible."

Clatia nodded, clasping her hands.

"I saw your discomfort...and your transformation. That was...unique, to say the least. Really though, you should have seen yourself. A sight to marvel at, indeed."

And to my surprise, my friend's eyes suddenly took on an excited spark.

"You were magnificent. Ethereal. Unreal. And above all, you were stunning to look at. Not because your features shifted, but because the raw power you emitted. No being could touch you with your whipping, white hair and golden glow. And although you finnick at the thought of showcasing yourself as a being stronger than anyone else...for that moment, no one stood a chance at harming you."

Her observation made me take in the transformation from a different perspective. Not as someone to be feared, but admired.

"What do you think caused it?" I wondered.

She furrowed her brows, a thoughtful look passing over her features.

"I have no idea, to be honest."

I nodded, slightly disappointed.

"At least I don't have to worry about it again."

Sadly enough, this was a bittersweet reception. While the universe had been responsible for projecting the uncontrollable energy through me, and in its own way, responsible for my exile, being disconnected from it produced a sense of fierce hollowness.

I didn't like to think the universe was such a deep part of me, but even upon waking the morning after, I noticed how empty I felt. Like something that prided in grounding me, suddenly released its hold and I was left to dangle in the air uncertainly.

"My minute is over," Clatia proclaimed.

"And yet you've said so much," I complimented.

She snaked her hand through mine again, eyes raking over my features.

"It's nice to take a vacation, but the relief comes at knowing you have a home to go back to. For this reason, things won't be easy at first. But...I witnessed a glimpse of our realm that made me feel disgusted being a part of it. For this reason, this exile has been somewhat easy for me to accept."

Her admission should have startled me. The woman had been dedicated to our people since she was young.

Then again, at the time, we both believed she would be a future Queen and that the people's actions were justified.

In its own way, her admission seemed appropriate rather than mutinous. And not only because we were both banished from the realm.

Even now, taking in Clatia's slowly relaxing form, I realized how difficult it was to break some of our stern rules. And how strictly wound we had carried ourselves for so long.

I mean we get thrown into a frozen cave just for releasing some steam. Is that even normal?

A part of me couldn't scandalize this deed immediately. For a realm who distributed peace, the least we could do was practice it.

And there were those few beings who broke rules just to terrorize others. The Gelida Spelunca had helped in that sense.

But beings seemed more often that not were thrown in there for displaying emotions uncommon from the positive ones. We were made up of a balance of both negatives and positives. Surely a race couldn't sustain themselves solely on the positive?

Yet, we had. For billions of years.

And look where that's gotten us. People turning on each other. Unsure of who is friend and who is enemy.

They are programmed to ignore frustration, rage and vengeance. But in response, lesser negative emotions shine through. Ones that perhaps are far more destructive than the ones we were taught to ignore.

"Earth has changed me," I noted, knowing the words to be as true as the sky was blue.

Where would I have been without this vacation? Hopelessly attempting to keep a hold of frustration?

"For the better."

Glancing at Clatia, I permitted a relaxed smile to show. And this gesture felt entirely too pleasant after such a tumultuous few days.

"You think so?"

"Absolutely. You've changed. In a fantastic way."

For the moment, I allowed myself to believe those words were true.

TLOTLOTLOTLO

After the talk with Clatia, my mood had improved considerably. At least to where I didn't surround myself with a fortress of blankets and contaminate another roll of toilet paper with my leaky nostrils.

As a sort of celebration, I gave my new roommate a proper tour of the apartment.

It wasn't a surprise to see her most interested in the novels I'd accumulated, all gathered in a cramped cupboard, and I quickly recommended _The Bell Jar_.

I knew she wouldn't understand the significance of the pick until she read the book. And even though I did not think my depression as severe as that of Esther's, I understood that pain affected us in our own way. What could seem like nothing to one person, could mean the world to another.

For Clatia's sake, I bottled the rest of my guilt, at least for the day. No need to poison her mood because my own rested in a wasteland.

And while she delved into the novel, I filled a glass with vodka, flinching at the thought that I was using alcohol to relieve my own pain for a second time.

Then again, it was better than taking out my issues on the world like a certain God.

Which brought me back to the dilemma in full brew between Thor and Loki.

Now that I was relieved of my duties and technically a new resident of Earth with a brand new life to begin, I had no obligations to them. With my position void, Thor and Loki were on their own.

Unless there's a new Queen elected who dares try settling their feud. Which I doubt. The octavium will do everything in its power to stay away from Earth.

I've still got their weapons, though. At least my exile hadn't messed around with that.

And knowing that I still possessed these sources of power, forced me to confront what I'd been hesitating to admit all day.

I want to finish ushering in peace between them.

Of course the entire situation was rearranged now. For one, I didn't feel nearly as confident that I could help either of them without having my own form of defense. Loki wasn't exactly someone who jumped for joy when in the process of a painful revelation. Being the recipient of his anger could prove deadly this time around.

And yet, my perception of both Gods hadn't changed completely. They were both so meticulously complicated in their own ways, hurting at the lack of affection from each other, wanting that open wound to seal shut, and yet...yet, I could not for a moment believe they would wish death upon the other.

Perhaps grueling pain, but not death.

How am I even going to end this? Before, it was easy. Well...easier. I could defend myself and not worry about the repercussions.

This time, however, I was completely vulnerable. If Loki got angry, very easily, it could mean death for me. And vice versa...even though I didn't think Thor would demonstrate such fury upon me.

I did kill and bring back a being before their eyes. Who knows what their reactions will be?

I gulped back another sip of my comfort, bringing the cool glass to my forehead.

I think I've been vulnerable all along. Even as Queen, when I yielded the universe at my command, I still opened myself up to both men. Not entirely regarding my origin, but most certainly emotionally. That was no act.

But I'm so very tired of their 'tag, you're it' complex. Where one brother angers the other and the other reciprocates in their own way. A constant, never ending cycle.

If I'm to attempt peace...if I'm to finally make sure they will dissolve all animosities, I need to do something grand. Something that will catch their attention and force them to reconcile, lest they wish there to be consequences.

I could try making them believe that if they don't face each other, I'll use my hocus pocus.

Grimacing, I took another sip.

Loki will see through that. He knows harming the Zaabaj was my last resort.

Maybe display their weapons, but appear as if I could easily take them away again? It's not like they're aware of my downfall. According to them, I'm still quite powerful. Even more so what with my display.

I doubt I can even lift them, though. Thor's hammer will be like lifting up an Earth sized planet made out of led. And of course the hammer responds better to another magical being's touch. Which I lack now.

Sighing, I reached out my hand, intent on refilling my glass.

All of a sudden, I paused, frown spanning over my lips.

I've got to stop this. If I really want peace, I have to push away my own pain. For now, at least. I may not be Queen anymore, but that should not mean the way I live, what I live for, should be modified. If my heart desires peace, an exile will _not_ alter that goal.

Dragging back my hand from the bottle was far more difficult than I could have predicted. But the important thing was that it reached my lap and settled itself there with a purpose.

Problem now was discovering how to put that purpose into motion.

TLOTLOTLOTLO

Luckily, it only took an hour before an idea sprang to me. One that was equal part dangerous and equal part faith driven.

"Are you sure you want to do this?"

Taking a deep breath, I glanced around the apartment, again, marveling at the thought that from now on, this would be my home.

I can make this work. I know I can. It'll take time, but I have plenty of that now.

"Yes," I answered. "I've deserted far too many people. Thor and Loki...there's a reason I became...fascinated with their situation. I don't know if I'm doing this more for myself or for them, but I do know I'm doing this."

Clatia nodded, but she still appeared conflicted.

"What's wrong?" I asked, fixing my gaze on her.

She shifted from one foot to another.

"You don't owe them this," she finally spilled. "You don't owe our realm, and you certainly don't owe Loki and Thor."

The smile soared over my features before I could contain it.

Let's just say that I was not the only one who had a slight dislike of Asgardian men.

Clatia despised arrogance. And guess what a majority of Asgardians possessed?

"I know," I assured, understanding her train of thought. "But this is a part of the reason I feel so empty. Not doing something to help people who need it, feels undignified. Plus...I forcibly implemented myself into their feud. I'm not going to simply skip out because I've lost my title. Bringing about peace shouldn't be limited to the rank you're entitled to. It should be lived by daily. A lot of the time, we don't follow this path because so much shit happens to ourselves that the pain of others blinds us. But I refuse to react this way."

Clatia cringed at my cursing, still getting used to the freedom of words, but her disapproval lessened.

"Do you have a plan then?"

"Yes-."

I didn't elaborate only because I knew she wouldn't approve.

"...I just need to wait for the right time. Which I'm still in the process of figuring out."

"Alright. And I didn't want to interrupt your plotting session-."

"No, no. Tell me what you're thinking," I urged, still observing the unease riding her.

My friend turned around, eyes squinting toward something.

"There's a guy who's been perched on your fire escape for the past ten minutes."

I gulped.

"Ah...let me go take care of that."

Ignoring her amused grin at my nervous tone, I sprinted into the living room.

And just as Clatia promised, a man indeed did sit outside my window. A tad bit creepy if I didn't know him already.

Quickly, I pulled the window up, cool air suddenly piling into me.

"What are you doing here?" I hissed, scanning the area past him nervously. "My landlady is going to kill you."

"She can try," Clint responded with a smug smile, brown eyes observing me. "Can I come in?"

"Depends. Are you afraid of me?"

He tilted his head, one hand slipping underneath my window.

"I trust you."

And just like that, I shifted out of the way, allowing him entry.

"Hey, Clatia!" I yelled.

My friend poked her head out from behind the kitchen, eying Clint warily.

"This is my friend, Clint," I introduced, throwing a hand toward the brunette man.

"Is he mortal?" she asked.

"As far as I know," I mumbled, giving him a once over.

"Nice to meet you."

And then she scurried back inside.

"She's alien?" Clint questioned, focusing his gaze on me.

"Yes. If you get to know her, she's a lot more outgoing. She tends to be more reserved upon first meetings. Beneficial since it saves her the heart ache of betrayal from those she thought close to her."

"I prefer your view."

Startled, I turned to Clint with crossed arms.

"What do you mean?"

"Well...you're not exactly naive. But you trust things inside of people that they aren't even aware they carry."

Containing a blush, since I think I finally got the hang of it (it involves thinking about dirty diapers), I glanced down at the carpet.

"Thank you. What brought that on?"

"Can't I just offer a compliment?"

Now, my grin crept in.

"You're an intelligent man. You don't do anything without a reason."

He nodded, scanning the room.

"Alright then. Can I start?"

"I'm not holding you back."

Carefully, he risked a last second glance my way before finding a random piece of furniture to stare at.

"You are very powerful."

A dead silence hung at his admission as I silently studied him.

"So is Oprah. Do you know how man men I've watched her bring to tears since I've been here?"

His lips twitched involuntarily.

"Let me rephrase that. You could easily bring about the end of the world a thousand times."

"I've never felt the urge to."

The man finally turned to me.

"You're still you, right?"

Sighing, I glanced at my hands. There really was no easy way to go about the conversation.

"I know what I did might have been scary to see. I know if I would have seen that, a freak out would have been immediate. But...I did it because there was no other way to make the Zaabaj's leave that wouldn't have resulted in bloodshed. Know that I would never intentionally harm a being unless more than just my life was provoked. And even then...I couldn't keep them dead. Not if they'd showed some form of regret, no matter how little."

Clint nodded slowly, and with the nod, I felt like I'd relieved him of some of the worry he held.

"You were quite the hot topic when we got back to headquarters," he replied, tone lifting.

"Do I even want to know?"

He smiled, fixing his eyes on the ceiling.

"My boss wished Thor would have tried harder getting you to join."

"So you only see it as a weapon?" I surmised, displeased at the thought.

"We saw it as an opportunity. And hopefully, the...Zaabaj will spread the word that Earth is off limits."

I didn't say anything. Really, I was more concerned with how Clint himself was handling the prospect of his friend being unimaginably powerful.

Should I tell him my hocus pocus has disappeared?

Frowning, I shook my head. Probably not the best of ideas if my actions gave them hope.

"What's the verdict, then?" I asked, following his movements lazily. "Do you think I'm a threat and are here to kill me? Or can we keep up our anomalous friendship?"

"The verdict is you're a liar."

Raising a brow, I followed Clint's motionless movements with confusion.

"When I asked you if we stood a chance against them," he reminded when I didn't follow with an answer. "You didn't mention we were greatly overpowered."

"Some hope is better than no hope at all," I quipped.

"I can believe that. Problem is, I'm usually not on the receiving end of those feel good words."

"Let's see this as a lesson learned, then."

He threw me a dirty look, but there was no real malice behind it. In fact, the old amusement bounced back into his features, subtle, as it always seemed to be with this man, but there nonetheless.

"I didn't think you stood a chance against them," he admitted. "Especially after they threatened to eat your heart."

"The heart is actually a delicacy for their race. With all of the blood pumping to it, it's quite nutritious," I spoke knowingly.

"Only you could make that prospect sound appetizing."

This was followed by a frown, and then a quick shake of the head as if to fling out the unpleasant information.

"Okay...so you didn't think I would get through to them. But I did and now everything is nice and peaceful once again."

"Are you going to tell me exactly how you managed to kill that demon and then bring it back to life?"

"I wasn't planning on it."

"Will you be doing something like that again anytime soon?"

"Only if the occasion calls for it," I lied.

"That's good to hear. In fact, that's what I came to hear. While impressed, Fury wanted to make sure you weren't a loose cannon. Especially after you disappeared so abruptly."

Without warning, the grief shot back into my heart, leaving me momentarily speechless.

The feeling prolonged with Clint's next words.

"Have you been crying?"

Scrambling for a suitable reply, and damning my features for carrying the residue of tear production, I inhaled with a calm I felt very distant from.

"Blame Oprah," I argued.

"But you weren't watching television."

"And what you're doing can be considered stalking," I accused.

"It's not stalking if you want me to watch you."

My insides stirred at this playful jab, ushering out the stab of guilt that had pierced my heart so wrathfully.

Really, thank the universe for Clint Barton. Even if his words are borderline creepy, his intentions are sound.

And out of nowhere, my brain wedged him in as the final piece of my plan.

"Would you mind doing me a huge favor?"

"You're entitled to a few hundred favors until the day you die. If I haven't mentioned it yet, this entire world is indebted to you for what you did. If there's anything you ever want from me or something that you think is impossible to get, let me know. It's yours."

When my smile appeared, I hoped Clint didn't detect the slight somberness.

Could you help my realm forgive me?

"I'll keep that in mind. And don't worry about it. Had I not been there, you would have done the same to protect this world."

"And that's a scary thought," Clint pointed out. "Had you not been there, I don't know what the hell would have become of this planet."

We purposely left the question unanswered.

"Before I ask, I need to know...what are your plans regarding Loki?"

Clint grimaced, shaking his head.

"Thor won't let us anywhere near him. Claims that he's changed."

He then took me in wearily.

"And with your...kissing him, we're left under the impression that he's valuable to you."

"The kiss was..."

But I couldn't follow it up with an easy explanation.

"Whatever it was," Clint continued, "we're back to square one. Waiting for him to make a move."

Despite the disgruntlement in his tone, I internally sighed.

And then, I carefully revealed my request.

The brunette man furrowed both brows as if he'd inhaled something ghastly.

"Please," I added. "This is very, very important."

Whether he finally nodded as a result of the desperation in my voice, or because of his promise to grant me whatever I wished, I couldn't tell.

But he agreed.

"Is that all?"

"No...stay away from my block tonight. Play some cards. Drink with some buddies. Terrorize some women on the 88th floor of the Hilton. Just, keep away."

"That doesn't sound ominous," he noted with a rise of the lips.

"Is it a deal?"

Observing my outstretched hand, Clint shrugged before taking it within his own. But I knew the curiosity was eating at him.

When we released our grips, he took me in with a quizzical expression splayed over his features. I thought perhaps he'd force me to explain the purpose of my request.

But instead, he redirected the topic.

"The Hilton's got 88 floors?"

TLOTLOTLOTLO

Although I've explained a thousand and one times why exactly the Los Angeles nights are held so dear to my heart, the view from outside, in its own right, seemed to add on another hundred.

More specifically, standing on top of the roof of my apartment complex, observing the sparkling lights.

When not gazing at the view through a window inside a cramped room, everything felt far more realistic. And open. Like if I were to reach out my hand, my knuckles could actually skim down a skyscraper or feel the warmth igniting from one of the many working offices.

Sporting a white, Columbia winter jacket along with blue jeans, I felt equipped to handle the chilly night. If the temperature bothered me, all I had to do was take in the scenery and that warmed me right up.

To think two days ago, all of this could have been gone.

A shiver passed through me, having nothing to do with the cold wind.

Sniffling, I glanced up at the skies.

The ashen clouds were out tonight, intent on blocking out the crescent moon. If they kept up, winter would easily visit by the end of October.

And I'll be here for it. The strange holiday Jonathan described as Halloween. An excuse to dress up as your inner child. Then Thanksgiving. Ready to ruin your figure. Christmas. A day to cherish people you normally wouldn't.

What strange traditions they have. But...intriguing as well.

My gaze continued to trail further up, squinting past the thick gray above.

_"You helped me save them. As a result, I'm a part of their ranks. Tell me...was your sense of irony always this cruel? I mean it's not like I didn't appreciate their culture. Despite the wars and terrorism and humans whose souls rivaled that of a Zaabaj, I still fell in love with them in my own way. But how could you know this pain was in my future and do nothing to help me alter it? Take me back to my realm! That would have told me that I hadn't been paying enough attention to them. Given me a sign. Or was I not even deserving of that?"_

I felt ridiculous chiding the universe, especially since I was officially cut off from it and most likely, the telepathic thought would never reach it.

But releasing some of the frustration I had boiled over, eased my nerves just the slightest.

_"We agreed together about coming to Earth. You supported my plan of helping Thor. Why would you do this if you knew my realm planned on overthrowing me?"_

To no one's surprise, I received no answer.

I exhaled carefully, forcing my heart beat to calm. The last thing I needed was a supply of anger burning inside me.

"How long have you been waiting for me?"

Holding back a jump, I turned to the source of the sudden voice.

"Give or take, fifteen minutes," I answered, taking in the God. "How are you?"

"Do you ever tire of asking that?" Loki questioned with a frown, venturing a step forward.

At the moment, he was positioned at the very center of the roof. Rather than his battle garments, he was back to wearing Earth attire. Black pants, white, buttoned up shirt and a black trench coat. I couldn't help but think he appeared like a sleazy detective.

I stood three feet above him, resting quietly on the ledge. With my seven and a half foot size, there was just enough cement below to balance me perfectly.

"No, I don't. Sadly, the well being of others is my only concern," I playfully mocked.

"I am doing fine."

When he didn't elaborate, I let out a soft chuckle.

"Just fine? C'mon, Loki. You dodged a huge bullet. Very easily, S.H.I.E.L.D. could have taken you into custody. And yet you're a free man. Tell me you feel some sort of pride at that."

"It was always a part of my plan."

Now, my chuckle evolved into a laugh.

"I don't think anything went according to plan that night. For any of us. But hey...what's done is done, right?"

"What's done is done?" he repeated, risking a step forward. "You exterminated a demon and brought them back to life. While the event may have passed, I do not think you understand how determined you have made me to discover your origins."

"Everybody needs a hobby," I mused.

It seemed like the smile appeared out of a deep struggle within himself.

"You were...stunning to behold."

Unsure if it was a compliment or simply a means of extracting more information, I shrugged.

"Thank you."

"With that sort of power, you could bring civilizations to their knees."

"But look how happy I am without that," I insisted, facing him completely now. "Power is not everything, Loki. And more often times than not, the thirst for it leads to your own demise. It is so much better to appreciate the little wonders in life than to assume control of things you could only dream to understand one day."

"But you could destroy the evil in the world," he argued, eyes widening. "With just a flick of a wrist, all that plagues the realms, could be gone. And you would have brought about the peace you so desire."

My expression shifted into disbelief.

"Loki...are you aware that we all have the emotions within us to choose our paths? No one is born evil, just as no one is born good. Decisions and events throughout our lives determine the course we want to take."

When he still seemed confused, I sighed, bringing a hand to my forehead.

"I couldn't pin point who looked evil and who looked good just based on physical traits or deeds a being has recently done. If that being truly is in need of salvation, craves it because they are remorseful for what they've done, I am powerless to grant that for them. And yes...their past may have been dominated by the evils they'd personally carried out...but we all change. It's ridiculous to hold the belief that we don't. Or that changing somehow makes us weaker. We are beings of constant change, following in the footsteps of our creator, the universe, with many decisions still yet to make regarding our future."

"And this is the basis of your whimsical philosophy that allows you to sympathize for me?" he scoffed.

"In a nutshell. That and the fact that I've personally witnessed your change. But think about it this way. If I was to determine a being's goodness strictly based on their decisions, I can personally assure that you wouldn't have been alive for very long."

"What a tender way to look at it," he muttered.

"But it proves your dominance theory wrong. Good and evil is subjective. We are capable of both. It's our decisions that leads us there."

He didn't answer immediately, instead, choosing to stare at me. Which I would have found alright if whatever layed behind his stare wasn't so damned intense.

A few times, he looked as if he was ready to say something, but his jaw clenched up and the thought evaporated.

Or so I had thought.

"I wish I would have known you as a child."

Suddenly, I felt as if we were veering off into uncharted territory. Territory that I was sure Loki had not planned on discussing upon coming here.

"Why is that?"

Again, he hesitated before answering.

"You would have given me the strength to contain my jealousy."

Swallowing, I urged my hand to stop shaking.

"That's silly," I noted.

Loki's features turned dark, but I made sure to calculate my words wisely.

"You have the ability in you already. Stop feeding it."

The command seemed to daze the God, and once again, he stayed mute.

And while I frantically reversed through his admission, a sudden realization struck me. Or perhaps it was more of an observation.

While our race struggled to survive in the imbalance of positive emotions, Loki was the opposite. He was a slave to his anger, jealousy, and ambition. And when positive emotions such as happiness or affection, greeted him, he flung them away in distaste, believing himself weak if he was to embrace them.

I don't know who needs an intervention worse, Loki or my realm.

A relative calm fell over the night in which the wind had stopped blowing around my hair and frosting up my nose. In between talking with the God of Mischief and fighting back the cold, I was surprisingly at peace within myself.

"Why are you standing on the ledge?"

Breaking out of my thoughts, I fixed my gaze back onto Loki.

My mouth opened, ready to reply, when a rumble sounded above us like a group of high schoolers stomping on bleachers.

"You have got to be joking," Loki grumbled, eyes glued to the skies above.

I couldn't contain my smile. Even when the God aimed his glare at me.

Seconds later and Thor burst through the clouds, making a graceful, trajectoral fall. He landed just as easily on to the roof Loki and I were occupying, not even ten feet away from his own brother.

Well, at least I had made some progress. They can literally stand each other. Har-har-har.

"Lucy," Thor immediately greeted, taking me in. "Clint Barton said you requested my presence here tonight."

My answer was interrupted by an annoyed growl.

"I should have known your intentions to be insincere. You are nothing but a-."

"-not speak ill of her, Loki. She has done more to guide us to each other than we are willing to-."

"-oh don't give me that, you pitiable oaf! I hardly think you know anything-."

"-more than you do regarding women-."

"-that a bet? I can assure you I will have-."

"QUIET!"

Both brothers, who'd turned to each other when in the heat of their dispute, ceased their arguing. Instead, they quietly spun around to take me in.

Sucking in a deep breath, I made the slightest retreat backwards. Only millimeters.

"You two are going to make up this instant!" I yelled over the suddenly roaring wind that sped upon the city from nowhere. "I don't care if it takes all night, but your needless squabbling ends now!"

Loki's features turned incredulous.

"Or you'll what? You haven't the heart to harm us," he bragged.

Thor stayed silent beside him, but it seemed like realization dawned first on his features.

"If you don't," I warned, feeling a slight tremble pass through my body, "then I'll jump. The height from up here will easily kill me."

It seemed as if I'd suddenly vacuumed up all of the oxygen in the air, leaving none for the occupants to breathe in. It sounded as if the wind was doing our breathing for us.

"Lucy-."

"Stop, Thor," I gestured, eyes falling to him. "I have given you both so many opportunities to make up. And I understand it's not going to be easy. Or immediate. But this continued fighting...this anger over the silliest of things...it's going to end tonight."

"You wouldn't," came Loki's jest.

A smile spread over my lips, and I was sure just the tiniest hint of madness seeped in. It must have if it forced Loki's own lips into a tight frown.

"I won't? I was willing to face getting my heart eaten by a pack of bloodthirsty demons in the name of peace. Do you really think this is so much above me? No. I've thought over this all day, and my decision is final. Make up or I'm jumping."

And not a single word I spoke was a lie.

I really had thought it over all day, and made a special note not to disclose the details to either Clatia or Clint, considering their potential disapproval for the plan. The scariest part, however, was how relaxed I was with the idea of dying.

Not that I wanted to, mind you. Despite my recent downturn of events, I still felt as if I had more to give in this lifetime.

But dying so that two Gods would understand how much their reunion truly meant to me, was something I was very easily willing to do.

"What makes you think I would care if you jumped?" Loki shot back.

I nodded to myself, eyes falling to my shoes.

Slowly, I raised a foot and backed it up an inch so that my heel hung off the ledge.

And I hadn't been kidding about the height. The apartments were a good eight stories, easily enough to kill me.

In fact, Mrs. Pendergrass had recited a lovely tale to me upon my first visit, regarding all of the suicides occurring during the 30's due to the Great Depression, and then again in the 90's because of the Y2K paranoia.

"Stop!"

I didn't know which brother shouted this, but I followed the command, keeping the same relaxed focus on my face.

"Show me that I shouldn't," I urged, extending both arms. Now that the wind had picked up, balance was key so I didn't prematurely go plunging to my death.

Both Gods turned to each other, and somewhere deep within me, I silently cheered at the impact my threat had.

For a minute, all they did was stand there, simply glaring at the other. Well, Loki did most of the glaring. Thor seemed somewhat desperate for a choice of words.

"A few minutes before you got here, Thor, Loki was mentioning to me that he was jealous of you as a child," I recalled.

This earned me a withering glance from the God of Mischief, but I simply raised my foot again.

Soon after, Loki forced his eyes back on Thor.

"Is this true, brother?"

Loki's jaw clenched so hard I was sure he'd shatter his molars.

"Did your gigantic arrogance honestly prevent you from seeing it?" he spat.

Thor's form deflated for a second and when he spoke again, I found myself amazed that such a burly man could produce such a soft tone of voice.

"I never intended to make you feel inferior."

"And yet you made sure to cut me off when you deemed your words more important than mine!" Loki accused loudly. "Especially when in father's presence. As if what I had to say couldn't possibly overshadow your own great words."

The blond man hesitated before bowing his head.

"Perhaps a part of me felt...inferior to your own intelligence."

Both mine and Loki's eyebrows shot up at the exact same time.

"Explain it," the black haired God demanded.

"Whenever we explored Asgard, you always thought first of the undiscovered regions. And the means of getting there. You had it all plotted out, and had considered the plans numerous times. More than I ever would have. Ever had. Whenever I fell into trouble, I felt father's disapproval weigh down on me heavier and heavier. And in this...I felt as if his position would one day fall to you," Thor confessed, meeting Loki's stunned gaze.

The God's admission tugged at my heart, making me wish I had stayed closer to the men so I could offer some sort of sympathetic gesture.

But I knew they needed to lay out all insecurities and prejudices right now. If not...well, I didn't want to consider that consequence.

"Obviously your fears were misguided," Loki retorted.

The bite in his voice, however, was oddly absent.

"Why is it you never felt like you belonged?" Thor asked instead, taking advantage of this brief interlude they had at displaying everything. "Mother loved you dearly, and to doubt father's love despite his withholding of your nature, is absurd."

Loki balled up both fists, but did nothing with them.

"You _always_ were the better brother, even when you didn't know it. Father picking you to sit on his right side at the dinners, his favorite side considering he could observe you from it. Mother staying in your room longer, showing you affection I hardly thought you deserved. And do not make me spell out the obvious worship the Warriors Three had of you."

Thor opened his mouth, but nothing came out.

C'mon, darling, don't get hung up.

It seemed like the blonde was following my inaudible request on his own.

"Of course I had to sit on father's right side! He did not trust me nearly as much as he trusted you. One glance to take some fårkött and he would have missed my sudden shift in attention toward something he'd deem unworthy of it. And I professed my own doubts to mother far more than you had. I did not hold the belief that she would find me unlovable as a result and this is why often, our conversations would span into the night. As a child, at least, I felt comforted in her lack of judgment."

Obviously, those weren't the explanations Loki had been ready to hear.

"The Warriors Three?" Thor recalled, voice raising. "I could never value their opinions above your own. My brother. That opinion which you so rarely ever truthfully gave me. Especially now that I look back upon the events leading to my banishment."

One corner of my lips quirked up.

I wonder if he'd be up to starting a banishment club.

When Loki suddenly retreated, I thought perhaps it was out of anger.

"You were arrogant," he accused, facing Thor with a sneer.

"You were frightened," Thor responded, refusing to be bullied.

"You were pig-headed."

"And you lied as calmly as one would sip wine."

"You were not worthy to hold such a great honor!" Loki sputtered. And with it, I could tell his excuses were running thin.

"You are right, brother," Thor acknowledged, scanning the ground. "I was not ready at the time. Had you never ruined the coronation and father handed me the throne, I would have been severely under-prepared in many aspects of ruling. Then again, in the strangest of ways, you helped me there as well. With your actions, I became a better being. Someone fit to rule. And I apologize if my return crushed your hopes of being King and further spurred on your hate of me, but father had chosen me for a reason. _Not_ because of your heritage or because he deemed you unfit. But because I was not afraid of embracing emotions that is the death of the most arrogant of men. Or the most ruthless."

Loki's hands were shaking, but other than that, his pale features remained flawlessly impassive.

"I was afraid of embracing my emotions?" he called, anger laced in his tone. "It was because of embracing my emotions that I came to rule Midgard as its rightful King."

"Then where was your sympathy when father fell into the Odin sleep?" Thor returned. "Our your mercy when releasing the Destroyer upon Earth? Where was your understanding when I apologized for my actions? Or your compassion when I offered you forgiveness and a life back with me, as my equal? So many instances in which your hatred failed you from seeing the love I was desperately presenting as atonement for my blindness of your own turmoil. Tell me you did not fear embracing these!"

A thick gulp traveled down my throat, and the words alone were causing my body to sweat and freeze at the same time.

This, I believed, was what Thor had been meaning to say all along. Always meant to, if Loki would have just stopped and listened.

Which he was doing now.

But I knew the accusations weren't so one-sided.

"Your atonement came to late," Loki argued. "I had found a state of mind in which such weak mercy did not affect me. Did not shelter me from what really mattered."

Thor shook his head, the slightest of frustrations entering him.

"Such as power?" he surmised. "Do you really believe having all of the power in the universe will bring you love and acceptance? And I do not mean the kind you would have claimed your subjects to have. I mean the kind mother and father shared. Or the kind I share with you in a bond?"

His words didn't just attack Loki's beliefs.

Without meaning to, I felt the pains of Thor's insight myself. Even when I didn't use the power the universe granted me for destruction, the wasteland of loneliness never seemed to leave me. And the acceptance from my realm, always existed out of reach.

With great power, comes great loneliness. That is a secret that the ruler before you, never passes on to the next guy.

So lost in my reverie, I had completely missed Loki's reply.

But to my relief, he looked far more calm than he'd been minutes ago.

"-sorry for all of the pain you suffered," Thor voiced, taking a step toward his brother. "My biggest regret by far is not having seen the anguish I had caused you. Not embracing your own torment sooner. That is what makes a good ruler. Someone who is able to see the distress around them without being so blind to their own ambitions."

The heavier Thor's admissions became, the further Loki backed away. As if they were all too much for him, or he didn't quite know how to handle them.

"I am ready right now to start over. To treat you better than I had as a child," Thor promised, attempting to meet each of Loki's retreats. "While you may think yourself weak to take it, I am offering you my affection as brothers properly should. I am offering you a chance to stop feeling so lost and abandoned. I am offering you...unconditional love that will take an entity stronger than Odin himself to sever."

When the swing came, neither Thor nor I had processed the act right away.

But in reply to Thor's proclamation, Loki had swung his clenched fist forward and punched his brother square in the jaw, causing the God of Thunder to stumble back a few steps.

Just seeing this caused my own balance to momentarily falter.

And briefly, I became concerned that a clash would erupt, forcing away all of the ground the two Asgardians had covered.

However, Loki's action had been simply to distance himself from the rapid transformation in feelings. At least enough to let him ponder them.

So, the three of us simply stood there, each lost within our own thoughts.

The wind came and went in gusty intervals. Sometimes, it'd hit my body with the intensity of a train. Other times, it simply blew against me like a summer breeze. But it always left me chill to the bone, and I couldn't help but wonder if in addition to providing me comfort, the universe had also helped me adapt to a realm's climate.

Not out of the question. I really haven't realized how much has changed without having its presence inside me.

"I do not forgive you."

My attention was immediately diverted back to the scene before me.

"Why?" Thor asked, the hope in his features quickly spiraling away.

"Because your actions affected me for years," he declared. "I forced myself to deny all that could have been beneficial, simply because my prior experiences of it with you had ended so miserably!"

The blond nodded slowly, now visibly disappointed.

However, Loki wasn't quite finished.

Cautiously, he managed a few steps toward Thor.

"This does not mean that I am not willing to attempt a...form of forgiveness."

"Provided what?" Thor immediately demanded.

Loki cringed at this, perhaps unused to such mercy within himself.

"Providing that you...forgive me for what I have done to you."

And these words sounded so foreign that I was sure Loki hadn't actually said them himself.

But at Thor's grin, I knew he had.

"Already forgotten," the blond promised.

Loki seemed stunned for a second.

"I did try to kill your girlfriend and murder you countless of times."

"Ex-girlfriend," Thor corrected. "And in my own way, I had done just as worse."

With this, both brothers seemed to stumble upon a silent agreement, one that I personally couldn't decipher, and understood that I wasn't meant to. Whatever they were agreeing to, it was for them to know only.

"Is this a truce?" I spoke, my voice sounding meek and insignificant compared to all that had been covered so far.

Thor was the first to turn to me, his smile immediately vanishing.

A gust of wind flying out of a completely unannounced direction, barreled straight into me and I hardly had a chance to mention my praise for accomplishing their task, before my hands began to flail wildly.

The air was so chill that for a moment, all of the oxygen in my lungs felt as if it was thinning. With the gust, my hands attempted to balance myself into a steady position.

Unfortunately, I'd taken my standing for granted the entire night.

Before a fearful squeak could escape me, the foot hanging off the ledge, rocked my entire weight back onto it. And combined with the lack of balance already, I slowly felt myself falling back, hands grabbing on to empty air.

It was like the slow motion they seem to overuse in the movies. One moment, I saw both men's faces turned my way. The next, I was dropping backwards, only the night sky above in my vantage point.

And with a lack of a universe providing me with some form of protection, I began plummeting off the building, very much aware that if I survived, Clatia and Clint would form a coalition dedicated to killing me.

* * *

**Lol, sorry, had to end it there. Let's hope I don't kill her off! And hey...is this a real truce between the brothers or is there some thing else a-cookin? Fårkött is mutton in Swedish. One last thing. I hope the confrontation between Thor and Loki seemed plausible. If not, well, then feel free to make up your own reasoning for their bitterness. Otherwise, let me know your thoughts in a review!**


	13. How to Disappear Completely

**I'll point out the obvious. I've been gone for awhile. No, I'm not dead. Although, this chapter did kill me to write. I literally wrote it out five or six different times before reading it over with disgust because I simply could not put through the emotions I wanted "Lucy" to feel. So then I deleted half, or nearly that amount and began writing all over again, just to realize it's still not what I want it to be. I am not being sarcastic when I say this chapter was a BITCH to write. But hopefully the overall mood clamps down on you by the end of the chapter. Another reason for my long hiatus was because...I got a job. First time I've ever been employed, and damn it all if it doesn't take away all of your free time, and then replaces your free time with sleep. Summer is a fanfiction writer's paradise. It stinks that this summer, it won't be that way, especially since I first really got into writing last summer. Also, the fifth season of True Blood is beginning this weekend and I've been kind of pulled back into that fandom, leaving me with a bit of a disconnection from "Lucy" and her situation. So, the fact that this chapter is written at all, is quite the accomplishment. But as I've promised you before, I will finish this story, just keep on checking your e-mail. I love the upcoming plot too much to let it go so easily. More importantly, I love the fans and reviewers who keep their interest in this tale even when I don't feel deserving of it. Like the previous chapter. Anywho, if anyone is still there, I'd like to present you a new chapter where things get a bit...angsty? But you'll see why, and I hope you enjoy!**

* * *

**Chapter 13 – How to Disappear Completely**

Falling, to my surprise, is actually quite an exhilarating experience, provided you're not doing so to your death. And for the briefest of seconds, I allowed myself to believe this was not the case as the night swallowed my flailing form.

I was like a needle piercing through a bubble, everything in my way, simply parting as weight, mass, and altitude ceased to matter. Only a constant descent backwards, the air forcing my hair in the opposite direction of gravity while my comfortable, heavy jacket that the salesclerk promised would protect against ANYTHING, did little to slow my acceleration.

Unfortunately, this tranquility didn't last.

Quickly, my brain registered that death awaited at the bottom in a very painful manner. And I don't know how it managed to spring out, but a squeak pierced the air waves through my gritted teeth.

Just as I was ready to embrace the splat my body would make upon the cement, a set of arms greeted me. Or rather I greeted the steel-like arms with an unceremonious plop, causing the figure to wobble on their knees momentarily.

Having shut my eyes midway down, I slowly peeled them open to view my savior.

"I am to guess you never planned on falling," Loki mused, tightening his hold on my denim covered legs and tense back.

"If you guys had never made up, I'm afraid things would have ended a tad bit differently tonight," I admitted, still a bit dazed at my lack of balance. "Tell me...are you the illusion?"

"Do you really wish to know?" he asked, lifting me up to his chest.

His eyes flashed wildly after the question, putting emphasis on my belief that they were the most reflective part of the complex God. Especially when they morphed into a rougish emerald, as if my answer would hold a double meaning.

"Sure," I said, watching him warily.

Seconds later and the Loki holding me up, vanished. Which led me to release another squeak when my bottom met the firm concrete below.

Note to self. Saying no is an option too.

I only sat rubbing my pained rear for half a minute before both Gods managed their way down to the narrow alleyway. A street lamp ten feet away, was just barely able to embrace us in its luminance.

Immediately, Thor offered me his large hand and with an oof, I accepted.

"Are you alright?" he asked, scanning me for injury.

Coughing, I ran my hands up and down the jacket, scrubbing off excess dust and grime.

Second note to self. Don't ever let a salesclerk convince you the jacket looks better in white.

"Yes, I'm fine. A bit...queasy," I mumbled, pressing two knuckles to a temple.

In reply, my vision ceased blurring.

Quietly, I turned to Loki.

"You saved my life."

And one didn't have to be deaf to detect the admiration in my voice.

"How do these events work?" he inquired, bearing a dubious frown. "Do I get a reward?"

"Just a great feeling in your heart and the knowledge that you did well today," I answered cheerily, throwing him a quick wink.

The grimace Loki ejected nearly made me burst out laughing.

But, I caught myself and instead, observed the Asgardians, amazed still that so much had been said because I threatened to kill myself.

"Do I have to worry about you two taking apart Los Angeles again?"

"I hope not in the immediate future...although, I understand it will take time to heal," Thor replied, casting a gaze at his brother.

I nodded, deeply satisfied with the answer.

When I had first met the men, I couldn't really promise that Los Angeles would be in one piece. They had more issues than a Jerry Springer marathon.

Now, it seemed as if the city would survive. For a short time, at least. Until another catastrophe stormed through.

Beneath all of this progress, however, amazement sat anchored inside me at how responsive and tolerant the two were being toward each other. Which made me wonder just exactly what was said when they had gotten together the first few times after I had "borrowed" their weapons. And what exactly their shared look on the rooftop, meant.

I hated to wonder how long the diplomacy would last as well, but the question couldn't completely vanish from thought. These two beings were brought up to defend with violence. What would happen in their next disagreement?

"Surely you could have saved yourself with one of your marvelous abilities before falling?" Loki challenged, watching me carefully.

"I guess it all happened so fast," I reasoned, making sure to keep my eyes downcast and solemn.

Now, I felt, was not a good time to mention the events leading up to my exile. The only reason Loki had taken an interest in me in the first place was because I wasn't human or weak. I could hold my own against him.

Divulging what occurred made me fear he wouldn't take my words to mean quite the same thing they had before. I imagined he'd rather be confronted by someone of equal power rather than what I was now.

Human.

And although Thor would probably have no qualms about discovering my new found origin, I felt that perhaps he'd formed a connection with me just because of the moral conflicts associated with ruling. Even though I had no intentions of actually being a Queen in the monarch sense, I could tell Thor struggled to decide how to go about ruling Asgard, and deeming when to fight back.

He recognized this divinity inside me as well and with my words, I believed he pulled something out of them. A moral stabilizer.

Would he still if he knew I was mortal?

"At least you are alive," Thor added, throwing me a smile. "Although, I would not suggest standing on any tall surfaces again. Your balance is...unfavorable."

The blush flushed through me before I could even begin to think about dirty diapers. But relishing in Thor's humor distracted me from the growing suspicion etching itself into Loki's features.

"Right...so, I suppose I should give you back your weapons now," I announced brightly, clasping my hands together.

Both men turned to look at the other, almost as if they'd forgotten what they had used to beat the other silly with before I entered their lives.

Que invisible scoreboard and the number 1 underneath my name.

Slowly, they each extended an arm, gazes falling back to me.

Glancing at the hands, one tanned and fleshy, the other borderline skeletal and firm, my lips struggled not to quirk up.

"Don't you want to at least _see _where I hid them?"

Just as leisurely, the Asgardians lowered their palms.

"If this would please you," Thor responded, peering at me as if I held his hammer underneath my jacket.

"You might kill me, though. Once you find out."

"I would never do such a thing."

His appalled frown threatened to bring back that pesky blush.

"I might," Loki input.

"After you saved my life? Has that good feeling disappeared already?" I teased.

"You make it seem as if there was a virtuous one to begin with," he remarked disdainfully.

Before I could mask it, the tiniest flash of hurt rested down on my lips while my eyes, sparkling seconds ago, momentarily lost their glow.

"If you never aimed to save my life, why the hell did you do it?" I bit out.

Damn it, do not take this personally.

But I couldn't help it. Loki had willingly sent another version of himself to catch me before I fell to my death. A part of me was helpless to believe this meant he cared in his own way for my well being.

Or maybe I'm just craving having someone care about me because of the nonchalance my realm showed on the night of my exile.

"It would appear that my humor has offended you," Loki commented, his own gaze narrowing at the shift of expressions on my face.

"No, no," I mumbled, forcing on a smile as I waved a hand at his abnormally soft tone. "I'm sorry I was so sensitive about it."

Who knows why he saved me? The last thing I should be doing is trying to convince myself it meant more than it actually was.

"I'd be insane to think you saved my life because you genuinely wanted to prevent my death," I voiced, silently chiding myself at releasing this train of thought. "Just as long as you get your weapon back, right?"

Loki had no reply for this, but I could tell that I'd made him uncomfortable.

"Lucy?"

Pulling my gaze back to Thor, I released a heavy sigh. And with it, I willed all troubles to recede.

However, as I gestured the Gods to follow, a frightening thought rushed through me, and upon its entrance, I valiantly attempted to banish it from the entrails of consciousness.

Unfortunately, all of the fragments weren't able to be decimated completely.

And so I was left to wordlessly ponder if perhaps it would have been better had Loki just let me fall.

TLOTLOTLOTLO

"Where have you been?"

Instead of answering, I swung out of the doorway entrance, discarding my coat on a nearby table, so she could see our guests.

Clatia's eyes widened dramatically and for a moment, I really thought she would go on the offensive.

But all she did was throw them a curt nod and mumble, "Asgardians."

I hid my grin as Thor frowned at her lack of enthusiasm while Loki merely regarded her boredly. Which surprised me. Clatia was by far the more stunning of us. I'd think he'd want an eyeful.

"I'm here to give them back their weapons," I informed, unable to quite contain the joy at finally settling this grave feud.

It feels...right. Even though I'm no longer Queen. It feels accomplishing. Thrilling. Relieving. Beautiful.

Sadly, Clatia wasn't in the mood to share my good spirits.

Within a minute, she had successfully given both Gods a withering glare before retreating to the living room.

"It would appear as if your friend does not like us," Loki whispered, lips hovering near my ear.

"I can't say I blame her," I shrugged back, twisting my head to meet his gaze.

I reeled in my alarm at seeing how close he'd crept to me, and instead, focused on his eyes currently trailing over my lips.

The strangest bubbling simmered in the pit of my stomach, completely disregarding the damage in confidence Loki had made me experience minutes ago.

In the briefest of...fascination, I felt the bubbling extend to my legs the quicker his irises darkened.

I blinked, unaccustomed to the depth of his stare, especially since I'd seen quite the array in him before.

This time, however, I was witnessing something entirely unfamiliar. Like attempting to decipher a language you haven't the slightest ability of speaking.

And the fact that I couldn't give his stare a proper emotion, jolted my insides rather violently.

Apparently, somebody was looking out for my well being. Enough at least to where when I reopened my eyes, Loki's scrutinous look had latched itself to a proper eye level.

Unfortunately, my composure took a bit longer to assemble. Mainly because my trusty brain took that moment to remember what Loki had said previously, regarding my lips.

_"It matters very much. It matters because I am unexplainably, and perhaps a bit grudgingly, drawn to them and feel a burning hate at the thought of anyone other than myself, enjoying their taste."_

"What?" I murmured, fighting myself out of the reverie. Not an easy task when so many opposite emotions are stomping around inside you like they own the place.

"Loki's impatience wears...thin," Thor suddenly spoke up, watching the exchange.

I wasn't sure whether the blond was aware of what laid beneath Loki's contemplative stare, but his ardent voice was greatly appreciated in severing my bemusement.

Carefully, I began a trail through the apartment, finding more confidence the further I distanced myself from both men.

"How long ago did you disassemble the fields?"

"Only very recently," I relayed.

"Funny," the dark haired man replied, feet gliding over the carpet confidently, "the residue is hardly detectable."

"In here," I called, ignoring the observation.

We entered my bedroom and almost instantly, I noted both men tense up. As if I was about to attack them with their prized possessions.

Cautiously, I traveled to my bed, making sure they knew I had no plans of violence, and with one hand atop the sheets, I knelt down.

A grin couldn't stop from spreading over my features when I ducked lower to observe the space beneath my bed.

Seconds later, Thor was beside me on one knee, shaking his head.

Loki merely inspected from behind us, most likely carrying his own reserve about kneeling. But, he was the first to speak.

"Out of all the corners and cracks in the universe you could have chosen to hide our weapons, you decide underneath your bed?"

"Worked, didn't it?" I remarked proudly.

Neither brother responded.

And so another minute stretched by.

"I should have felt the tug when in your apartment," Thor mentioned, blue eyes scanning me.

"I managed to override the bond you two had. At least for a short time."

Even though he didn't say anything, I could practically feel the astonishment bouncing off the blond. To override such a powerful bond between master and weapon, was nearly unheard of.

Cautiously, Thor lifted his arm, fingers stretching forth almost as if he'd forgotten how to call for that which he held so dear to him.

Inch by inch, the hammer, lying on its side beside Loki's staff, began shifting in place, readjusting to the long disconnection from its master.

In moments, it had hastily slid over the carpet, and into Thor's outstretched hand, a luminous gleam erupting in response.

Loki was next, only holding out an arm expectantly.

His staff didn't even hesitate before rushing into the God's grip.

Out of the corner of my eye, I watched their reactions, wondering if I had just made a cataclysmic mistake in letting them have what they had initially attempted to destroy each other with.

"Thank you," Thor finally expressed, his tone considerably heavier as he observed the careful workings of the hammer.

Loki didn't express such compliments, but he did meet my gaze.

"Let us hope my use for this staff will be relatively minimal."

Pushing myself up, I ran a hand over a few stray strands that had gathered over my face.

"Just because one has power, doesn't mean they are required to use it," I knowingly stated.

And for awhile, the three of us simply stood in the bedroom, lost in our own thoughts. Or more appropriately, I was while Thor and Loki were making sure their weapons had not been harmed, tapped into, or tampered with.

The silence wasn't exactly awkward, but it seemed like all of the words I had to say, and Thor had to say, were...said. And what was left unsaid, could remain that way. For a little while.

At least that's what I personally thought.

"With the Bifrost running, I imagine we will return to Asgard?" Loki surmised, peering at Thor. He couldn't completely hide the trepidation in his voice, however. As if he were afraid that at any moment, Thor would reject him as he had when they were children.

"Of course," Thor replied solemnly, meeting his brother's gaze. "I could not think to begin our journey anywhere else."

"Then we will depart now?"

Thor caught my eyes and held them in an inaudible request.

"Actually, Thor," I spoke up, understanding the look, "I'd actually like to ask you something regarding Clint. Privately."

Loki tried hiding his suspicion, but he'd been so open for the past hour that the skepticism couldn't quite seem to filter away in time.

Not that Thor noticed, possibly more confounded that I'd ushered in Clint as an excuse.

But I did see it, and I anxiously wondered what Thor could have to say that he didn't want to mention in front of his brother.

"Fear not, Loki. We will leave this realm together. But as Lucy requires privacy, I am bound to meet her demand," Thor assured.

I offered a supportive smile, but my uncertainty was just as evident.

"Then...I suppose I will come across you again," Loki concluded, turning toward me once more.

With his gaze switched back my way, I felt as if the world's most massive spot light was focused directly on me, seemingly observant of every small detail.

"The universe works in mysterious ways," I offered with a sly shrug, knowing the words to be more true than either man knew.

For some reason, my answer caused Loki to let out a devious grin.

"I apologize if I made that seem like it were a child's pact."

And then, he ventured a step forward, all emotions making way for one I very much understood. It was written on the face of every being of my realm who observed my exile.

Thirst.

"That is a promise," Loki vowed, holding out a pale hand.

I felt as if glancing at Thor for permission would have been a very large insult, so I carefully omitted this initial instinct. However, this sudden re-diversion of attention toward me as well as his statement, unnerved even my frantically beating heart.

My main concern now stemmed in the realization that although I had solved their feud, or at least helped them evoke their true feelings, it still seemed apparent that both Gods held an interest in me. One that neither were very forthcoming about.

Then again, that could have just been irresponsible thinking.

But between Thor's odd desire to speak with me and Loki's sudden pledge that he would see me again, I was held in the clutches of confusion, attempting to figure out just how large of a role I actually did play in the bonding of these brothers.

And even scarier were my own feelings attempting to emerge regarding how I felt toward each man. Feelings that I had so hastily swept away because at the time, I was a Queen and careless mingling wasn't permitted. Feelings that I sure as hell didn't feel like deciphering, no matter how persistently they beated against my ribs.

Remembering the unceremonious drop in the alley, I extended my hand, a fair share of hesitancy in it. But I'd die before I became subjected to my own anxiety.

What if he decides to break it? Or freeze it? Then shatter it?

The worst part of the entire ordeal was that Loki appeared well aware of my unease, and this only served to make his smile wider.

He wouldn't kill me in front of Thor, would he?

Who knows? Maybe Thor will help.

That's ridiculous.

Is it?

"Lucy."

The sharpness of the tone forced me to burst out of all ill conceived thoughts.

Loki was staring at me with keen interest, smirk still prominent. His eyes were wide, the green nearly overshadowing the midnight black of his pupils, and his regal, lean form, stood without a single care in the world, so convinced of whatever his intentions.

Forcing on a poised mask, I closed in the remaining distance by raising my own arm, suddenly curious about his objective.

Without warning, he latched on to my wrist, cool fingers gripping into the flesh. But, there was nothing hostile in the grasp.

It was acted out of eagerness.

Ever so gently, Loki lifted my arm and brought it to his mouth, forcing my feet to follow a step or two.

The cool press of lips was forced into the junction between palm and wrist seconds later, the sensation alone nearly making my toes curl.

Imagine a sliver of soft, frost being slid into your veins in the most pleasurable way possible. It's difficult to even describe due to the complete foreignness of the touch.

I shot a glance at Thor when the surprisingly gentle lips didn't recede, Loki's eyes firmly focused on my wrist, but the blond, to my puzzlement, bore a guise of brewing anger. As if he was doing a fair amount of work containing it.

And then, I understood.

With a scowl, I ripped away my hand, Loki's lips sliding across my palm in the process. Then, I wiped away the wetness on a pant leg, fuming incense slowly spreading through me.

"You both listen to me very carefully," I stated, eyes aflame, "I will not be another needless thing for you two to fight over. We just got this reunion. Do not deconstruct it by playing this little...I'm-better-than-you game! I refuse to let it happen. And I refuse to be the pointless prize! If you don't respect me enough to treat me like a person, then get the hell out of my apartment!"

"Lucy-."

"Get out!" I screeched, pointing an accusing finger at Thor. "Get out and stop using me as a weapon!"

"We did not mean-."

"Out!" I yelled over Loki's interjection. "Get out!"

The last shout caused my lungs to sting, and whether it was just a night of free flowing emotions or I genuinely was angry enough to force out both Gods, I couldn't be exactly sure. But I knew that when I popped open my eyes from the momentary rage consuming me, my wish was granted.

I was all alone.

TLOTLOTLOTLO

"Do you want to talk about it?"

A sigh rushed out of me and before I responded, I brought the bottle to my lips, swallowing down the numbing fire.

"How much did you hear?" I mumbled to Clatia, gesturing for her to take the opposite end of the bed.

I was currently gripping on to a bottle of vodka, already having consumed a third of the liquid inside, and my guilt at being so scornful toward Thor and Loki, was slowly disappearing. In return, however, my room was becoming blurry around the edges.

"Well...everything," she admitted, sinking on to the edge of the mattress. "You tell me what happened."

My eyes found the place Loki's chill lips had been, and even though the area bore no mark, I still felt as if the pressure was still there.

"Loki was trying to make Thor angry by kissing my wrist. I got worked up because..."

I stopped here, gaze falling to my knees. A blush poured in, but this was hardly a result of tingly feelings.

"You don't want to be a plaything," Clatia finished. "That's completely understandable."

"Then why do I feel so terrible?" I asked, voice wavering.

Clatia took a moment to collect her thoughts before answering.

"Because you are finally allowing yourself to be happy rather than following a mandate of orders from our realm. Loki has harmed you physically already-."

And there was a fair amount of a disapproving rumble in her voice.

"-Thor tried gaining your trust to search for his weapon. You allowed these actions only because you knew that when hurting you didn't work, they'd have each other to turn to. But now that they have each other and you realize that you're still being hurt...well, I think that's where your explosion came in."

Silently, I settled the empty bottle down by my bed. With a tired yawn, my body plopped backwards onto the soft bed. Both arms were extended, and with sleepiness settling inside me, I suddenly felt less attuned with my surroundings.

"You always have a way of making my faults permissible," I pointed out, ceiling above me not quite managing to stay in place.

"I don't see them as faults," she softly replied. "And you shouldn't either."

This time it wasn't the alcohol that helped banish the feelings of despair. As always, Clatia held her own beautiful words of wisdom.

"Well...at least they're in Asgard now. Making their relationship better. I wish we didn't end on such bad terms."

"They are where they belong."

At the return of Clatia's stark tone, I craned my head to take her posture in.

"Why do you hate them so much?" I inquired. "I know Asgardians tend to be arrogant. Ruthless at times. Not exactly a very commendable trait. But it seems like your hate for Thor and Loki runs deeper."

Now, it was Clatia's turn to look uncomfortable. Her relaxed posture quickly became stiff and where I could once see the upward curve of her mouth, in its place sat the curve protruding the opposite way.

"It was when you were in your coma. Do you remember that?"

Although my brain was taking a few prolonged seconds to understand Clatia's words, it didn't fail to pull up the memory she was referring to.

"Yes, I remember. This was when Loki revealed his true nature and Thor was banished."

"It is," she agreed. "You weren't there to witness what I did. Two Gods who let their anger rule them. That believed themselves to be better than everyone else. And yes, Thor has changed since then, but now that they've dragged you into their battle and have personally been responsible for your pain...I simply carry not an ounce of respect for them."

I didn't say anything initially, still processing the root of Clatia's fury.

"But I-."

Pausing, my mouth closed to rearrange my thoughts.

"I willingly involved myself with them, Clatia. You can't blame them entirely for my pain. I knew my physical being may be a casualty."

"And the fact that both of their lips have been on yours?" she suddenly cried, fierce, indigo eyes fixed on me. "That they both hold a remarkably strange fascination with you. What sort of emotional pain will they be responsible for then? Because I think that's another reason you're hurting. You've allowed their affections to make you smile. Or feel something other than loneliness. That is dangerous. You know it is. When they finally become done with you, like I know they will be, your affection for them will be a lot harder to break. Is going to be now that they've gone back to their realm."

I didn't register the words right away, heart pumping so fast that the rush of blood deafened my ears.

"I don't think I've allowed them to mean nearly as much as you think they mean to me," I defended gently. "You know I wouldn't."

The resentment seeped out of my friend, but she still seemed determined to make her point.

"Things are different now. You don't have a realm scorning you for every action you take."

A sad smile swept over my features.

"And Thor and Loki have nothing keeping them here," I pointed out. "If there are any sort of affections involved, no longer do you have to worry. If my words won't keep them on Asgard, their reconcile surely will."

Clatia seemed to slowly become satisfied with this, but I was disappointed to find that my very own words depressed me.

Could it be possible? That I actually allowed myself to form a connection to them? That even through the suffering they were each experiencing, I actually enjoyed the kisses and the second too long looks?

Lord almighty, I do not have the brain power to ponder this tonight. And maybe it's good that I don't. Thor and Loki are gone. Back to Asgard. Out of my life. Things will be easier now, won't they?

"I didn't mean to upset you."

Delicately, to avoid making myself more nauseous, I lifted myself up to my elbows.

"You're looking out for me," I acknowledged, watching my friend. "With my guilt still prominent, I can't say that I'll be able to do this each day. Thank you."

Clatia nodded, eyes softening.

"I know it might have felt good to feel their affections, but look at how you're feeling afterwards. You finished your task and now things are going to get better. I promise."

I only answered with a smile.

Somewhere deep inside me, however, I couldn't for the life of me believe that Clatia's words, always so perceptive and well thought out, ever had the possibility of coming true.

TLOTLOTLOTLO

The next week on Earth consisted of me showing Clatia the various activities in the city. And telling her to stay away from the Gucci stores. Their clothes sucked you in while their prices slaughtered you from the inside.

With all of the restaurants, malls, and sports events we indulged in, I actually found myself a bit more happier. Unfortunately, it wasn't due to some miraculous recovery from what occurred on my realm.

Instead, I simply kept myself busy with tasks just so I had no time to stop and think about what had happened. Or the emotions weighing down inside me, guilt being the most prominent.

Whenever my thoughts drifted to the universe, I dragged Clatia into a clothing store, claiming there was a top that was perfect for her. If Mettelicius stumbled into my head, I erupted into conversation with Clatia about how nearly every man in vicinity was checking her out (which wasn't a lie). And if the last night between Thor, Loki, and I, began playing out like a Shakespearean play, I simply thought of another activity for Clatia and I to dive into.

Having Clatia with me proved to be a beautiful and terrible thing.

While it provided constant entertainment and a desperate touch of home that I craved like no other, the fact that I was using her as a distraction from my own merciless feelings, and then lying to her about my progress, tore me up inside.

But when I witnessed the way my friend began to open up and fight against the strict hesitations I'd been so consumed with when I first roamed Earth, really a result of how we'd been brought up, a part of me couldn't bear to weigh her down with my own sorrow. Especially when she was so enamored with the freedoms.

And so one week bled into two, consisting of a brand new adventure throughout the streets I had come to love, even at the cost of my own emotions becoming bottled up.

The best part by far of our escapades was not having to worry about suddenly breaking into a sprint if we felt the skyscrapers above us sway or saw an unfamiliar group of demons stationed in battle positions.

All was at peace, and I hesitate saying this because I feel like it jinxes the progress the city had made during the few months of mayhem bestowing it. But because Thor and Loki were back home, there was no need for a battle to ensue. The city, like the way humans tend to do in their own marvelous ways, slowly began rebuilding.

Sometime after the fourth week since Thor and Loki had returned to their realm, Clatia and I stumbled upon a bar called 'Eternity'. It was meticulously split down the center as a dance club on one side and a simple drinker's lounge on the other.

As the weeks had gone by, my dependency on alcohol to soothe my unhappiness, skyrocketed. At least to the point where I had two drinks a night. Not enough to get me buzzed, but enough to usher in my own numbness.

Quite simply, I hurt because I felt. And I realized if I stopped feeling, I'd stop hurting. Which is where my dependency on a bottle had come into play. It helped me stop worrying about my future and past.

I knew entering the bar was a bad idea. While my dependency on alcohol was heavy at this point, it did not control me. If I truly wanted to, I could have disposed of the bottles I had in the kitchen cupboard, and the ones just in case, stocked beneath my bed.

Often, to avoid Clatia's detection, I would take to drinking in my room.

Then again, to dispose of the bottles would mean to face the inevitable storm of emotions I had taken to burying. Something I had done valiantly in the past, but could not for the life of me, seem to do now.

Eventually, however, my trepidation was overridden by Clatia's curiosity. She had never been in such an establishment before and this new found adventurous spirit was contagious that night.

So in we went, and almost immediately, as it had been on other nights before, no matter where we were, a group of men galloped their way toward Clatia, a clear standout beauty in the dimness of the bar.

I was never vindictive about the attentions, and I can't say all of them were always focused on her. Some men did legitimately wish to talk with me.

Problem was I didn't find any interest in them, and on most nights, hardly spared a glance. Whether this was my own resolve, a reminder of my first time with Jonathan, or simply something else completely indeterminable, I wasn't sure. But when the crowd began circling in, I kept my eyes mostly on any potential threats from Clatia's suitors.

On the first night, I was gulping back shots of whiskey as Clatia battled away men she could tell were married. Don't ask me how she knew this. The woman simply had a way of weeding out the bullshitters.

It finally came to the point, two hours later, where she had narrowed down her selections to a single man with curly, brown hair, college boy features, and the most darling dimples Clatia and I had ever witnessed.

The two were yelling to each other over the blaring club mix a DJ was stirring up on the other side of the bar, while I kept knocking back shots like it was nobody's business. If the situation were less grave, I would have actually applauded myself for my ability to hold so much toxic liquid.

Back on my realm, alcohol wasn't a very common delicacy. Even when there were celebrations. In fact, it was commonly understood that drinking too much would either land you in the Gelida Spelunca or waking up in your own vomit. A very unattractive experience, mind you.

So I wasn't exactly sure where my limit began and where it ended.

I do know that Clatia happily joined in, along with the man she'd picked up, Billy, I think his name was.

And I've been told by multiple city dwellers that there are a variety of drunks out there. Or at least a sort of... established behavior once your intoxication level overtakes your mind.

Because I drank to ease my array of unpleasant emotions, I had assumed I'd be a depressed drunk. One that simply sat in place the entire time, studying their reflection in the bronze liquid.

However, and I didn't really believe this until Clatia went into further explanation the next morning, I actually ended up being a rambunctious drunk instead. Not obnoxious or rude, but definitely far more sociable than I tended to be.

Queens in general had to be masters of their surroundings. Especially when traveling to a foreign realm. Incognito was key. Or was key to make sure we weren't discovered.

In my drunken stupor, I was anything but.

Clatia spent a good portion of the next morning, ice pack glued to her forehead, promising me with a grin that I hadn't made anyone angry with my personable actions which included kissing the bartender and recreating my own version of "the robot" to fellow bar dwellers.

Don't worry, I had no idea I knew the robot either.

All of this I took in with amusement, especially since I could partially remember her latter description. And because we had such a good time, the next night was spent taking a trip to 'Eternity' once more.

Not exactly the same crowd showed up, but it seemed as if the routine from the night before repeated once more.

This time, I tried to stay a bit more reserved.

Don't get me wrong. Drinking heavily and having a blast isn't a sin. It was another way to deviate from my internal pangs and I actually did have a good time.

But I couldn't meet the eyes of the bartender again in quite the same carefree manner and the complete disregard for my own actions, seemed a bit unprofessional.

Which was absolutely ridiculous to think. I no longer had anything to be professional about. I wasn't a Queen and there wasn't a realm constantly watching my every decision.

And yet, this feeling failed to disappear. Drinking an abundance was alright on some nights, but I had to have a limit. A plateau where I could drink just enough to forget my troubles, but not to the point where I became a laughing stock to the entire bar.

Those two nights spent at 'Eternity' were Clatia's last for a little while. The woman still exonerated class by knowing when to stop so she wouldn't get suckered into that sort of lifestyle.

Something I desperately wished I had the ability to do.

Although she did stop attending, at least until she was ready to let loose again, this didn't mean I did.

Mainly, this consisted of two reasons.

Number one, there was an endless supply of alcohol there. In my apartment, some of the bottles were drained astonishingly fast, and what were left, I wanted to save for emergency. Even though every day felt like an emergency.

Anyway, the constant glasses at my hands saved me a lot more money than paying for individual bottles.

The second reason probably had to do with the surroundings. Inside the bar, I wasn't the only one drinking away my problems. And where this once made me feel ashamed and alone, now, I embraced it as a part of my new humanity. No matter how hurt I felt, I took comfort in knowing I wasn't the only one affected by my emotions.

And there were quite the abundance of reasons I did hurt. Reasons that would simply be gulped away as soon as they were brought to light.

I didn't know what their direct source was, and I doubted there really was one. But there were never enough reasons I did experience anguish.

I hurt because I felt like everything I had done for my realm, was wiped away in seconds flat, and everyone's appreciation, while I didn't crave it, was entirely vacant when the octavium had willingly exiled me.

I hurt because friends I had called once, so easily turned their backs, leaving me to grovel on the floor like they wished that for me all along.

I hurt because being away from home seemed to unbalance the peace resting inside me, leaving me with an animalistic craving to be somewhere where people were back to being respectful and thoughtful of each other.

I hurt because I knew that my realm was no longer this sort of place and I had so blindly missed the shifting signs.

I hurt because the universe no longer provided me comfort, no longer spoke to me, and I hurt even more because I still felt like I had done something to deserve this form of punishment and desertion.

I hurt because I had left things on such a horrible note with Thor and Loki. This guilt seemed ever so present just because of how close I had gotten to each God, even if neither of them cared to see it this way, or even if I cared to.

I hurt because I felt that maybe each God's initial interest in me was purely a chess match. Prod me here, kiss me there, say these words, and let's see how I react.

I hurt because this former thought made me acknowledge the loneliness I had carried for far longer than just holding the position as Queen. Even as a child, with only Clatia to run through the meadows outside my home with, silver galaxies soaring above, I had felt detached from my realm. As if I was a temporary resident rather than a citizen. And this loneliness didn't fade, even when my name became prominent on that afternoon, three, nearly four now, years ago.

I hurt because it felt like my future consisted of constantly denying myself affections I craved only because I had survived so long without them.

I hurt because I understood quite clearly that I was solely responsible for my current predicament, and wondered why I was so different than everyone else from my realm. Where they could contain their anger and sadness, mine seemed to flow through as easily as currents of electricity.

And with each alcoholic consumption, I was allowed to feel a little less guilt, a little less blame, and a little less disrespect toward myself for all of the hurt building inside me.

What began growing in place of the person I used to be, can only be described as a shell which emotions failed to penetrate. This, I reckoned, was a better place to be mentally than the strenuous feelings I had buried inside.

I wasn't sure if Clatia knew I traveled back to 'Eternity' nearly every single night for a week after she stopped going. The woman was in bed by the time I stumbled into the apartment. And my excuses mainly consisted of going for a stroll.

But I was aware, and able to easily brush off the logical side of me that asked what exactly I was doing throwing away so much potential and submerging myself into a pointless depression.

In just a month after I nearly died, I felt like in my own way, I already had. And anytime I acknowledged this, a shot glass helped make this realization okay. At least for that night.

* * *

**Kind of depressing? I hope you think so. "Lucy"'s guilt, while we all know, or at least I hope we all do, isn't her fault, she can't but help feel that it is because she still bares the pain from what happened on her realm and then being tugged back and forth between Thor and Loki like a rag doll. And in a way, she can't handle feeling so much of this guilt and anguish because she probably understands she's not responsible for all of it. Thus, she turns to drinking which helps her numb all of the indecision she feels. Don't worry, though. I can't bear keeping her so depressed. The next chapter will be from a different POV, and will help establish who exactly will be "Lucy's" love interest. And not to worry...Clatia was just having a bit of fun. She's not a careless party girl. Let me know your thoughts in a review, provided there's still any reviewers left out there!**


	14. Clatia Channels Tim Gunn

**I cannot even begin to stress how important all of your reviews have been to me, especially on this last chapter. Your detailed thoughts are every author's fantasy, and they continue to inspire me to go the extra mile with each chapter. Even when there are only chapters that don't include Thor or Loki. Really, thank you all so VERY much. My praise can't be expressed greatly enough. On to the next chapter we go, then. If anyone knows who Tim Gunn is, or his famous saying, then you'll understand the chapter title. If not, just PM me and I'll let you know what it means. Otherwise, here's a chapter in a different POV that will hopefully get things rolling. Enjoy! **

* * *

**Chapter 14 - Clatia Channels Tim Gunn**

I sat in the darkness of the kitchen, watching silently as my best friend since childhood, stumbled through the apartment door, a resonating **BANG!** spreading through the room as her body barreled into the sturdy structure.

A grimace befell her features at making such a commotion, but ever so carefully, she slid the door closed before peering through the darkness.

I knew she wouldn't see me. She hadn't any of the other nights I'd watched.

So, when her gaze swept over me, I remained relatively at ease.

The strong smell of Jack Daniels blasting off her in waves, told me where she'd been. Where she'd been going for the past three nights, probably even more, now that I have time to think about it.

I fought back my own sorrow as I observed her maneuver across the floor, taking large zig zag motions.

When she tripped underneath her own weight halfway, and plummeted to the ground, I actually got to my own feet, intending to help.

But the woman still held resolve, even if she couldn't find it while sober, and ever so cautiously, she began lifting herself up.

I refrained from saying something, as was the common difficulty the other nights, and simply viewed her grapple blindly through the apartment in the blackness, taking a few near falls, until she felt the door knob of her bedroom.

Seconds later, the door was sealed shut and I allowed myself a deep sigh.

Oh, darling, I know you don't want to burden me. But please...let me help.

And this was the only prominent thought indulging me.

I knew my best friend like no other creature before or after me would. Even before she was Queen, I understood she was courageous, wise, and virtually selfless. And that was simply knowing her as a child.

A large downfall of her selflessness, however, was holding back her own emotions, thus never letting others see what it was that hurt her so.

Now this isn't so much a character trait as it is a way of life. Our realm bred the notion of living in peace before distributing it. And in any utopian ideology, this is a fantastic concept.

But, we also grew up in a realm that sheltered and frowned upon expressing emotions such as anger or sadness as they were considered weak and unruly. And I knew my friend to be far different than any other Queen before her just based on the empathy she showed and the way she took charge. There was something so hopeful in the manner she ruled, causing one to believe whole heartedly that she would do whatever it took to save their life, even at the risk of her own.

Her inner turmoil had been building for years, and although I couldn't exactly pin point all the reasons why, I had a few suspicions. Deep inside, I think she was very well aware of her uniqueness from other residents of our realm and in some way, felt guilty for being this way. Why did she seem to indulge in her negative emotions far more commonly than others?

And yet, she remained flawless as ever, able to cloud whatever fury or depression swallowed her. Instead, she replaced these turbulent passions with ones typical of a leader. Bravery, determination, and sympathy.

The realm loved her for it.

When I was advised of Mettelicius's plan, I had been in the middle of researching what happened to her when all of that energy burst out, allowing the decimation then rebuilding of a being. The very fact that this was possible for a single individual to do, is astounding. I had held the belief, as did the octavium, that only the universe was capable of so much power, and the event of providing one living being with so much ability to change the course of fate, was unfathomable.

But that night, she had proved us all wrong.

Researching what had happened was simply a continuation of the fears she'd confided to me about upon our last visit, and I knew she would be just as confused about them as anyone else.

I had dropped the book I was holding when a friend told me what was to occur and ran to her aid. By that time, however, it was too late.

The worst part about the entire ordeal was that she had been working so hard, so tirelessly, so relentlessly on fixing the feud between the Odinson brothers.

Upon returning home, just as lost about what happened to her as every council member was, well...the confrontation deadened her a bit inside. To be dismissed so coldly, so brutally by the realm you would have given anything to save. The realm whose people you still loved, the realm you grew up on as a child.

And even though I took the plunge with her, promising to stick by her side no matter what, it still disheartened me to know that my own words couldn't fix the sort of pain she was experiencing. Pain that I had felt was always there, but simply needed an event in order to completely swallow her up.

I had my misgivings of her staying at 'Eternity' long after I stopped attending, and a part of me, foolishly, hoped this was just a way of her working out whatever she was feeling.

That was before I made the connection that she drank to _stop _feeling.

Tonight was night number three I had observed of her staggering in, intoxicated beyond a single doubt, and now most likely, passed out like a rock on her bed.

That, I assure you, is far too many nights to see such an unpleasant display from a woman who gave up so much, gaining so little in return.

It literally ached to see it.

And so in the oppressive darkness of the kitchen, I made a silent promise to myself. But unlike the one I made regarding sticking by my friend's side, this one was different. It called for action.

If I couldn't fix her broken mood, I sure as hell planned on finding someone who could.

TLOTLOTLOTLO

"What's the name of your stalker?"

My friend glanced up, rubbing the sleep out of her eyes as a yawn traveled out. I'd noticed she never tended to be a morning person now that we lived together.

"The one who kept watching you through the window," I elaborated.

She grinned, glancing down at the counter top.

"Clint Barton. Why...do you like him?"

I blanched at the thought, but kept up a wry smile just for show.

"He's definitely...interesting. How would one get a hold of him if you ever wanted to?"

Her gaze flung up to mine, the tiniest bit of suspicion settled there.

Fortunately, for me at least, she wasn't in a state of mind to ponder over why I wanted to chat with her stalker so badly.

"I think I've got a number," she mumbled. "He wrote it on a coffee cup one day."

A minute later and she had retrieved the the Styrofoam cup, finger tapping at the number written in smudged, black sharpie.

"Why do you want this?" she suddenly asked.

I contained a sigh, unhappy with my excuse. But the man was fundamental in establishing the return of my best friend's happiness. I'd suffer for my dignity if I had to.

"I thought he was kind of-."

Deep breath. Just one deep breath.

"-cute," I finished, throwing on a smile.

Hers beamed right back at me, and I felt that relentless tug slosh around in my stomach. That she could be so pleased just by seeing someone else's happiness reflected at her.

Well, I promise to return the same favor.

"He's a very nice man. Has a good sense of humor," she added once I took the cup from her. "And I'm sure he's rather...flexible."

I didn't miss the fiery look she threw me.

"You don't say," I mumbled, rapidly studying the numbers. "Do you think he'll answer?"

"Hopefully. All depends on if he's busy. I'm going to go hop in the shower, alright?"

Then, she unexpectedly chortled. And I couldn't stop my own smile, this time very genuine, from appearing at her sudden display of amusement.

"What?" I probed, helpless to fight the grin.

"How silly these Earth terms are," she laughed. "Hop in the shower. Catch a ride. A piece of cake, one I had trouble understanding initially, mind you. Still, you'd think after nearly nine months here, I'd get used to them. But they still make me laugh."

"What if every time a human voiced one of their idioms, they actually had to partake in it?" I voiced excitedly.

This caused my friend to hold a hand over her mouth, eyes flashing in mirth.

"Don't lose your head, Clatia," she noted wisely, the words becoming muffled behind her palm.

We both cringed at the image.

"I'm going to walk to the bathroom, lift one foot into the shower, then follow it by another foot. Then I'm going to turn on the hot water and stand underneath it while it washes away anything unsanitary," she dutifully replied.

"That would be preferable. I have a feeling you'll injure yourself if you literally try hopping in the shower."

"Only one way to find out."

And off she went, leaving me feeling a bittersweet grief.

This was the woman she was, not some mopey, mindless being who refused to deal with the emotions stirring in them. In fact, she was one of the first people to embrace her emotions, good or bad, for the sake of growing as a person.

Not that I blamed her for her reaction. She was taking the aftermath of her exile far better than I would have. I, who prided myself on my realm's perceptions.

Yes, definitely wouldn't have lasted so long in one piece.

Exhaling tiredly, I brought the cup to my eyes as one hand strayed to the telephone.

As the Midgardians say. Onward and upward!

TLOTLOTLOTLO

I hadn't even realized he'd been watching me until I fought my gaze up from the menu, all in French, I believe. A beautiful language I'd love to learn someday.

"Have a seat," I motioned.

Clint glanced around the diner, hesitation pressed into his features. He wore dark blue jeans, a manila t-shirt, and a leather, black jacket.

Personally, I would have never guessed him to be out of the ordinary. Just a normal city dweller.

Which was most likely the point. He didn't want to be noticed on purpose.

"I don't plan on hurting you," I promised.

"It's not that," he said, scanning the area uneasily. "I'm not normally...a sit down kind of guy."

"Would you do it for Lucy?"

The man was seated across me seconds later.

"You said on the phone that she's in trouble," Clint began, eyes searching mine. "I was under the impression that since she fixed whatever the hell was going on between Thor and Loki, she was doing well. I even opted for assignments to pass the time. Not having to worry about her gave me the incentive to get back to work. I guess I never had to watch her in the first place, though. She really could hold her own."

And he leaned back in the chair after this, most likely remembering the fateful night between herself and the Zaabaj.

"She's not in any danger physically," I assured, watching the man visibly calm at these words. "But due to some unforeseen events, she's a bit...depressed. Well...that's stupid to say. She's in a dark place in her life right now."

"What can I do to help?"

I smiled at his eagerness, but couldn't help nit pick a bit more at this human.

"Why do you care so much about her?" I asked.

Clint seemed confused at the question, but I refused to go on further.

"Lucy is a good person. There's not enough people like her in the world," the man finally answered.

"Then you won't be offended if I say that I think your boss still wants Lucy as a part of your team?"

He looked away for a moment, brow firmly set.

"Is it so wrong to care about someone without involving the shit that really doesn't matter?"

I rolled my eyes, not quite seeing his point, but when the man turned his glare my way, I wished I hadn't.

"Whatever your dismissal toward humans is, I really don't care. You said Lucy was in trouble. I'm here to help, not get scolded by Lady Godiva."

Not understanding the reference, I gave him a slight nod, a bit ashamed of my own actions. Spending such a long time protecting my friend perhaps blinded me to the people who did legitimately care about her.

"I need you to get in contact with Thor and Loki."

He pondered my request carefully.

"How will this help get her out of that dark place?" he tested.

"Because I'm going to make the men who put her there, fix it."

Now, I could tell I'd grabbed Clint's interest.

"The Asgard duo is responsible for this? I can understand Loki, but Thor?"

I sighed, rubbing at my forehead.

Maybe the idea is too forward. Might not even work.

"I don't know exactly the relationship between the three of them, but I do know that Lucy came here to help Thor. His feud was just an addition she couldn't help involve herself in, and it prolonged her stay. She's lost more than I can share with you by continuing to help them. I find it unfair that once her deed is finished, she's left to drown in her own destructive emotions while they can gallop back to their realm without a care in the world."

And I knew I was being unfairly critical of them. The brothers wouldn't have an easy journey back to assembling the relationship they once had.

But if there was anything I was absolutely sure of, it was that everything terrible, or nearly everything terrible that my friend was experiencing, could all be linked back to having first contact with the Gods.

"Are you saying she has a thing with them?" Clint asked with a frown.

"Hardly," I responded. "But have you noticed at all, their interest in her?"

Clint appeared ready to argue, but instead, took a moment to think.

"Alright...I can see it in Thor," he agreed. "He was protective of her whenever our boss wanted to approach the topic of her joining the team. Even took over watching her some of the times there was a mission specifically requiring my presence. But Loki...I didn't think the guy could be more interested in anyone but himself."

"And what of that kiss?" I shot back, not harshly, but inquisitively. "Here are these demons, ready to destroy all of mankind and what does she do? Turns to the God who brought them there and kisses him. She does not randomly go about kissing men who haven't shown an interest in her first. Then again, I feel as if the gesture meant something else entirely."

The brunette man across me, combed a hand through his hair, suddenly looking drained.

"I'm surprised I didn't see it."

For the first time since meeting the human, I felt an intense sympathy extend to him.

"You think I'm good at masking my emotions?" I questioned with a short laugh. "No. I've got nothing on her. She is the type of woman who would deny herself happiness a million times just to make sure a life is spared. She'll mask her emotions for the benefit of others. And having this conversation...well, it hurts because I had hoped I'd never have it. Discussing how to bring back that happiness and finally allow her to have it because she so much deserves it."

And a frightful tremor passed through me, violently numbing my limbs at the possibility of my friend continuing down the path she stumbled.

Quickly, I slammed my eyes shut, breathing carefully through my nostrils.

I felt a muscled hand place itself atop mine and I couldn't help releasing a smile.

"Thank you," I uttered, opening my eyes.

Clint nodded, inspecting me delicately.

"Tell me the time and place and I'll make sure they're there," he promised.

TLOTLOTLOTLO

The time and place he was referring to, ended up being the roof of the apartments...or I suppose they are mine now as well.

My friend informed me, not with great detail, unfortunately, that Thor and Loki reconciled upon the roof.

I hoped it would be a sort of neutral territory for us all. And although it was quite exposed, the cold, November night managed to calm my fried nerves.

I had no speech rehearsed, no possible methods of clear bargaining.

But, I did hold something that would interest both Gods.

The truth.

Coughing into my scarf, I glanced down at my watch, wondering if Clint maybe had a mix up of times. Or maybe hadn't been able to reach them at all. It was half past the time he promised they'd be there, and night had already descended.

"You are Clatia, right?"

Forcing back a jump, my eyes slowly traveled up.

Had I not been exiled along with my friend, it would have been far easier to pick up on the presence of another being.

But I didn't allow myself to think this way.

"Yes," I acknowledged. "Is Loki coming as well?"

Thor leaped down from the ledge, taking a glance above him. Slowly, a grin spread over his features.

"It would appear that my brother does not have as accurate control of the Bifrost as he claims."

"Or perhaps you've failed to notice I have been here for ages," came a bored proclamation.

We both spun around to see Loki slip from the shadows of the door leading to the roof.

"As I have no intentions of further embarrassing you tonight, brother, I will stay silent on how much faster I had gotten here before you," Loki declared confidently, hands shoved into a gray trench coat.

"You were here all along and didn't tell me?" I interrupted, watching the God suspiciously.

Loki made his way over to Thor's side, sly smirk in place.

"This could have very easily been a trap," he defended. "There is nothing wrong with scowering."

Now, I remembered why Asgardians bothered me so much.

Thor must have sensed my annoyance for his grin soon fell.

"I am concerned why it is you wish to speak with us. Is Lucy well?"

I didn't answer right away, still fighting away my incense. But I did note that Loki stood just as attentively as his brother, awaiting my next words.

"No, she isn't."

It seemed that all of the background noise momentarily died. All traffic ceased. Nearby music was cut off. Even any animals in the vicinity, paused in their calls.

"What has happened?" Thor immediately questioned, taking a step forward.

Loki merely appeared annoyed.

"If you would have let me finish the Nexus, we would know," he argued.

Thor turned, blue eyes narrowed.

"I fail to recall a time in which establishing a Nexus involved kissing the flesh for more than a minute."

The black haired man only shot his brother a dubious grin.

"I did not like the thought of you being alone with her. My mark had to be made somewhere."

"Enough!" I expressed, before they could begin an actual argument.

Both Gods focused back on me.

"You were going to form a Nexus with my best friend?"

My voice couldn't quite contain my shock. If the words were true, my friend had gravely misinterpreted Loki's action toward her, and Thor's response to it.

"Why not?" Loki objected. "Upon returning to Asgard, neither Thor nor I would have any news of how Lucy was. And constantly pestering Heimdall would grow tiresome for the gatekeeper. The Nexus would give us a connection to her, allowing us to know if she were in danger."

"But it didn't happen," I concluded.

"That would be...a fault of mine," Loki admitted, closing his eyes for a brief moment. "Lucy's flesh proved to be quite...savory. That and I wished for Thor to know he could not simply call for her attentions when he wished to."

"Absurd," Thor argued. "I only wished to give her a proper farewell."

"Oh I doubt it would have been as proper as you would have me believe," Loki complained, shooting a distrustful glance at the blond.

I had to block out their squabbling for a second to wrap my head around what had just been said.

A Nexus, in the most raw of forms, was simply a link one being established with another. A fair amount of magic is needed to do it, and normally, this deters many from forming one. That and once the link was ignited, not all feelings are pleasant to feel.

For every realm, the way a Nexus was initiated, varied. But they all meant the same thing in the end. A direct line to the well being of a person.

"Would the Nexus have been formed through your Jotun heritage or your Asgardian?" I asked.

"Does it matter?" Loki responded in irritation.

Noting that he was still touchy about the subject of his own birth, I redirected the topic.

"Why would you think you needed to know whether Lucy was in danger? I think she showed everyone she can take care of herself."

Loki took a step forward.

"At first, I believed her," he admitted. "When she mentioned the energy having disassembled on its own around her apartment. However, when she did not personally pick up our weapons, I observed her a bit closer."

"You sensed her power was gone," I realized.

"That is nothing to be ashamed of," Thor input, voice steady. "It was not because of the power she carried that I became fond of her."

"Although I have been rather curious...her sudden lack of energy. Had it anything to do with her display against the Zaabaj?" Loki inquired.

This time, it was my turn to sigh.

Where to begin?

"I dislike both of you."

Obviously, this wasn't what either God hoped to hear.

"I care not for you either. Your constant scowl gives you a mannish appearance," Loki expressed.

I opened my mouth, ready to give him a piece of my mind.

Thankfully, Thor cut me off.

"Clatia calls on us for a reason, brother. The insults, despite your imagination, will have to wait."

Keeping my jaw clenched, I glared at Loki until he glanced away, chin still held high.

"Tell us what has happened," Thor began.

Unsure how to word it delicately, I went for a one word answer.

"You."

And I wasn't able to successfully mask my anger. Not that I wanted to.

"And you," I pointed out, eyes settled back on Loki. "Your...feud has led to my friend taking a bottle to bed with her and drinking until the liquid rids her of all feelings."

Thor seemed rattled at the proclamation, but Loki's surprise was far more subtle.

"Now...I've asked for your presence here tonight, both of yours, because I cannot bare seeing my best friend descend into a place she does not deserve to be at. I cannot bare witnessing her own guilt eat away what once shined so bright. And my inability to bear this is so high that I am not offering a choice in this. You both will fix what you've broken or I can personally promise you that you will return to Asgard a body part shy of which you came."

Thor's flinch couldn't quite be contained.

"I do not take kindly to threats," Loki retorted, features darkening.

"I do not take kindly to watching my best friend succumb into depression," I bit back, eyes flickering like a wildfire.

This silenced the God. At least for the moment.

"But firstly," I acknowledged, "I feel as if it is time I came clean about us, just so you better understand what sort of situation Lucy is in. I know you both have little idea of our origin. And considering how the course of events have played out, no longer is there harm in me informing you."

"I find it difficult to think you are of the same race as Lucy," Loki observed.

"We are from the same realm, but not of the same positions."

When I failed to continue, Thor deduced, "She is of royalty?"

"In a sense. More like a former Queen."

"Queen of what?"

"Everything," I answered Thor. "She is Queen of everything."

I took a moment to let these words sink in, knowing the gravity of them to be titanic.

"Explain her role," Loki commanded, crossing his arms.

Glancing up at the dark sky, I mulled over my thoughts, wondering how to begin the story. It always seemed far more elegant in the books.

"Lucy and I come from a tenth realm. A realm completely invisible to any other race, and impossible to get to unless one was to teleport you there. A realm that in a sense, keeps peace and order over the other realms. Rather than having multiple beings doing this, however, thus having a higher chance of exposing our race, we anoint a Queen every five years. Or I suppose we, the citizens don't personally do it. I cannot be sure how the process is decided as the Queens who are outted, never discuss the process. But the former Queen announces a new one each five years, or if they are lucky, announces they will stay in the position for another five."

Again, I paused, making sure the Gods were keeping up with me.

"How many Queens has your realm had?" Thor spoke.

"If one wanted to get specific, it ranges somewhere around 65. Then again, very few of those Queens simply ruled for a five year time period. Having the position seems to prolong the Queen's longetivity."

"So how old is Lucy?"

"Comparing her birth to a Midgardian event, she would have been born when the Americas declared their independence."

"Your realm is ancient," Loki decided. "Such a trait cannot even escape her blood which carries magic in it older than even her own birth."

Smiling quizzically, I offered a nod.

"We existed long before any other realm did."

"How long ago was Lucy chosen to be Queen?"

Turning to Thor, I confessed, "It will be four years ago in a few months. "

"And does your entire race display the abilities Lucy had?"

Fixing my gaze on Loki, I shook my head.

"Only the Queen is entitled to the energy of the universe."

Now, I got two very confused stares.

"I don't know how to explain it without sounding mad. When a Queen is chosen, the universe offers its abilities to her. These help keep her safe, aware, and more able to establish peace in the manner she sees fit. There's also a very special connection the Queen shares with the universe, allowing her to speak directly with it and seek guidance when she is troubled."

Loki smirked, shaking his head.

"Now I understand who her Buddha was."

I couldn't help but shrug at this.

"Buddha is a product of the universe. Then again, she most likely was attempting to deter you from discovering her identity when she mentioned the religious figure. If anyone was ever made aware of our existence-."

"-they would wish to slaughter you," Thor finished. "A realm dedicated to keeping the peace would be easily susceptible to violent beings who believe chaos should reign. Tell me...what is Lucy's primary role as Queen."

"Peace. Without it, realms would cease to exist and the beings inside them would perish. In whatever way possible, a Queen must establish peace, especially when it seems most impossible. She must be intelligent, wise, and above using the universe's power for her own personal gain."

"Lucy certainly fits that description."

I wasn't sure if Loki was envious, or offering his praise.

"Why did Lucy come to Midgard?" Thor addressed, speaking languidly so he could process the information at a proper rate. "Especially if she had the potential to expose her race?"

"You."

"Me?" the blond asked in surprise, releasing a short laugh. "What have I done?"

"She happened to be in a self induced coma when you were banished," I explained. "Upon awaking and learning that you had severed the bridge between Asgard and Midgard to prevent genocide upon the Frost Giants, even at the expense of losing the woman you loved...well, where she once thought you arrogant, Lucy felt that your actions were deserving of a reward."

"A reward?"

"Yes."

Thor threw a glance over at his brother, brow set in a firm line.

It was Loki, however, who made the distinctive connection.

"She established the clues that allowed Jane Foster to rebuild the bridge."

"Yes," I said. "Lucy understood how important Jane had been to Thor, and the thought of him being reunited with her...well, this was ultimately your reward."

Shaking his head, Thor swerved his gaze off into the midnight horizon, lips set in a deep frown.

"No wonder she appeared disappointed when I mentioned Jane and I were not together any longer. This meant I was not satisfied with her gift. But I still do not understand something. The Bifrost was rebuilt within five months. Neither Loki nor I had met Lucy until another two passed by. What made her stay?"

Breathing in, I rolled my shoulders back.

"Lucy was...enthralled with Midgard," I revealed. "The people. The culture. The freedoms...if you knew our realm, the way we were raised, although not in a terrible manner, you would soak in Midgard as long as you could. The very fact that she was on the street that day you two decided to unleash hell upon each other, is a mere coincidence. But she noticed the feud, recognized the danger the entire world would be in were it to continue, and sympathized with both of your desires, even when neither of you were aware of them."

"We were her next project."

Narrowing my eyes at the disdainful tone, I threw a pointed glare at the God of Mischief.

"You cannot even fathom how important you two became to her!"

Again, my harsh tone silenced the God.

"You mentioned Lucy is a former Queen...what happened?" Thor asked carefully.

I kept my gaze set on Loki even through my explanation.

"Your foolish brother could not handle the prospect of facing himself. When he brought a demon race to Midgard, a race far more powerful and bloodthirsty than he initially realized, one that wouldn't follow his commands, Lucy was left to make a decision. Where words did not drive them away, she understood only the display of something more powerful than they were, would strike enough fear into them, at least to where they would want to return to their realm for good."

"She exposed herself," Loki concluded, taking in my glare with a frown.

"There was no other option. And not to just you both," I added, flinging away my gaze. "To humans as well. In the billions of years we've been watching over others, no Queen has ever exposed herself before. Nevermind how powerful she became for those few minutes. Immediately after the display, our realm's council called her back to our realm."

I took this moment to inhale and exhale carefully. This next part would be the toughest to explain because it still held so painfully close to not just my friend, but myself as well.

"There is a man, not whose name matters, that planned a coup. He did not care for Lucy or the way she prolonged her stay on Midgard."

"She was helping us," Thor defended, the first signs of anger entering him.

"Which is what Lucy tried explaining upon the accusations set against her. She tried explaining as well that she had no alternative choice other than to showcase her own strength, thus subduing the Zaabaj. Unfortunately, she had been gone for far too long and during this time, the man was able to convince others, not fully, but enough, that she was no longer fit to be Queen."

Again, I paused, sucking in a calm breath.

"So, the council banded together, stripped her of her title and the abilities she once possessed, then exiled her to Midgard because they felt she loved this realm more. I did not wish to leave her side, and so I became included in this. We are no longer residents of our realm. We have no chance to ever return, and as of a month ago, we are completely human. We will age as humans do. We will live as humans do. And we will die in trivial, human ways. Where once Lucy's fascination with the realm was bright and optimistic, now it serves as a punishment for all of the good she's done for it."

There was an eery silence after my proclamation, enough to even unsettle myself. The finality of the words were grim and cutting, seemingly carrying an invisible turbulence.

"Lucy must have been...distraught," Thor acknowledged.

A laugh fled out of me, but there was no humor in it.

"The people she would have done anything for, the ones she tried so valiantly to make proud, turned against her and watched on as she was exiled. This sort of betrayal murdered some part of her, and I have still yet to see the same woman she was before the incident."

Neither God spoke a word, and I took this time to release a final breath.

"If she was no longer Queen and no longer carried the burden of maintaining peace, why did she attempt to still help sort our disagreement?"

I closed my eyes, shaking my head at the question.

"Because in some bizarre and unplanned way, you both came to matter the universe and beyond to her," I remarked, eyes fixed harshly on Loki. "Matter to her in ways that she had tried denying because it was not expected of her to feel this way. And if she was to find affection, it was to be someone on her own realm. Certainly not the God of Mischief-."

I then turned, eyes focusing on the blond.

"-and the God of Thunder. Another idea our realm looked down on her upon. She sacrificed everything to bring you two together. Now...she is left alone with her guilt, and misery, and feelings of worthlessness. She so rarely ever clamors for affection, and the one time she does, two Gods take advantage of it."

Both men perked up at the accusation, ready to argue.

"Don't!" I silenced, pointing a finger at each God. "You took advantage of her kindness, Loki. Beat her, tore her down, and forced her into the situation that led to her humiliation. And you, Thor, were never forthcoming to her. Only focused on attaining your weapon. And when it was all said and done, you attempt to play a game of tug of war with her-."

"-Loki was attempting to create a Nexus!" Thor interjected.

"But think of how she saw it!" I yelled, breaths flying out rapidly. "Here she risks everything, sees a reunion, only to have a display of one brother attempting to out-due the other, using her in the process. Your actions were nearly as bad as that of her own realms. You who she had come to understand and care for in her own way, unlike any being she's ever cared for before. That is how she saw it, and that is one of the reasons she insists on not feeling again. Because there is nothing hopeful to feel anymore."

Neither God said anything for a moment, and I did not pester them for their own interpretation of the events. I still aimed to settle the matter once and for all tonight, and if the Gods didn't help me, I would very much carry out my threat.

"There is a bar she's been chugging away her sorrows at," I began, voice far more level. "It's called 'Eternity'. About ten minutes east of here. Now whether you help her tonight, or in the early morning when she's a bit more sober, I don't care. But you will help her. And I _will _see the emergence of my best friend again, mentality and emotions in tack. Do I make myself clear?"

I knew Loki wouldn't dare respond to the command, so I turned to Thor.

The blond observed his brother, a meaningful discussion ranging just from their facial features.

I payed no mind to the exchange, already committed to an answer. But internally, I really hoped that each God cared about my friend as much as she had cared about them.

I doubt such a thing is possible with Loki.

Then again, the God was drastically different in personality than he was a month ago. At least a bit more calm around his brother. Who knew what he was willing to admit?

"You do not care how it is we do this?" Loki inquired.

Raising a suspicious brow at his blank features, I crossed my arms.

"If she ends up hurting more as a result of whatever you try, I-."

"-yes, yes," Loki muttered in exasperation, waving a hand. "You will dismember us."

Narrowing my gaze, I pinched the bridge of my nose, suddenly drained from the discussion.

"I am sorry," Thor proclaimed, voice softening at his apology, "that my actions have hurt Lucy in such a terrible way. It is something to marvel at that there exists a creature who helped rebuild a gateway between two of my homes just because she witnessed a change inside of me. And then again, the same creature who continues to help a cause she could have easily ignored. With this, I give you my promise, Clatia, that I will do whatever it takes to steer Lucy from this unfortunate breach in confidence."

I gulped at his admission, a bit taken aback from how sincere he sounded.

Loki rolled his eyes. "You simply had to add that in."

"I did not say it as means of making you feel inferior," Thor responded, studying his brother.

The God of Mischief offered a curt nod, not the least bit convinced. His next words, however, provided me a relief I hadn't thought he was capable of bringing.

"If my _dear_ brother does not succeed, I will," Loki assured. "I am normally not so open with my...affections, so offering you my...feelings audibly regarding Lucy, is not something I see possible. But...I have come to be involved despite myself, in her. And I will do what it takes to bring her back from a state of mind I find entirely familiar."

"Good. Thank you," I gushed, relieved at the words. "And I even know how you two can get her attention."

Thor gestured for me to continue.

With a smirk rivaling Loki's own, I whsipered, "Her real name."

Seconds later and Thor was fighting to contain a grin.

"What?" I asked cautiously. "It's not a terrible name."

"No, it is not," he slowly responded. "In fact, I like it. It is traditional, but powerful in its own right. In fact, are there not mythological women centered after the name?"

"Of this realm? I cannot be sure. But she called herself Lucy because it was her mother's name."

And I didn't know why I divulged such a personal piece of information, but I only hoped the Gods would use the information wisely.

"I find the name refreshing," Loki admitted coolly. "Especially with all of the common ones I have been made to suffer hearing on this realm. And the uncommon ones on Asgard. It is a neutral balance."

"Alright then...," I determined, looking each man dead in the eye. This was only to reassure how serious the situation was. I couldn't even imagine what would happen if they weren't able to get my friend back.

Wouldn't.

When no one said anything for a minute, the background noise back to its usual fervent pace, I offered one simple bit of advice I had learned on a television show I'd stumbled on to by accident.

"Make it work."

TLOTLOTLOTLO

An hour after Thor and Loki had departed, I still stood on the rooftop, simply admiring the stars above. And while this can be seen as something poetic, my thoughts were very much chaotic.

The universe, for some reason or other, had deserted my friend when she needed it most. Or actually, it provided her too much at a time when being discreet was the rule.

Why would it do this if it understood that we, as a realm, valued out privacy from the others?

I tiredly rubbed at my eyes, hoping the universe was still watching over my friend. Especially now that two Gods were involved.

The whole ordeal could turn out one grand mess, and I'll be even more responsible for her guilt.

A sudden slam of a door greeted my ears, and with one fist clenched, I turned to the roof entrance, instincts alert.

"Oh, sorry," a man laughed upon seeing me, one hand clutching his coat to him as a cool breeze shot by. "I thought I was the only one who came up here."

Despite myself, I eased back at his tone.

"It's one of those nights where catching some air can go a long way," I offered, throwing on a warm smile.

The man immediately reciprocated with one of his own, and I found my defenses faltering once more.

"My name's Jonathan," he introduced after a few seconds of staring. "I live-."

"-across from Lucy," I finished, venturing a step toward the brunette. "I live with her."

"Really? I haven't had the chance to meet you yet. I've been a bit busy with work and all. How are you liking the city?"

Surprised at his intrigued gaze, I shrugged, eyes traveling up again.

"It's...beautiful in many aspects. But I miss home as well."

"I know what you mean," Jonathan sighed, walking toward me. "I was raised in Briskley, Montana. My best friend was a mountain goat."

Nodding slowly, I couldn't help but release a grin when I took in his flushed face.

"Sounds loyal."

"Oh, he was," he agreed. "But he was really bad at giving advice."

This time, my grin morphed in to a chuckle.

"Tell me all about it," I offered, snuggling into my coat once more.

* * *

**Okay, so we know Clint couldn't hang around "Lucy" forever. He's still an Avenger/assassin. So I didn't want to be unrealistic by having him focus an uncanny amount of attention on her, especially when it's not warranted since he knows she can handle herself. Also, I just want to quickly mention that I've loved Jeremy Renner's acting since I saw him in Dahmer a long, long time ago. If you also find him not able to do any wrong, look up Pink's Trouble official music video. He plays the male cowboy who's a real a-hole, but so very handsome! I also want to mention unfortunately that the next chapter might take awhile to get up. True Blood begins tomorrow night and I'll be focused on that as I've been eagerly anticipating this season since last summer. Also, I'm all done with training at work, which means I'll be able to handle longer hours, thus less time to write. Which stinks like no other, but because of a paycheck, I can afford to pay for HBO and watch True Blood. It's a merry circle, really. Don't be afraid to look every now and again because I'll try to have it up as soon as possible. Oh...and I still haven't mentioned "Lucy's" name yet, lol. I hope you don't all expect it to be super-awesome-crazy-unique-fabulous. It's kind of common, kind of not. And maybe I'll never reveal it to you (cue evil laughter). Also, I know Loki is far more reserved in this chapter, and I'd like to think that a month with Thor on Asgard would warrant this. But I'm not going to take away his snark and difficulties that make him, him. Just because he's reconciled with Thor doesn't meant he feels the same way about humans. Anyway, let me know your thoughts in a review!**


	15. Simple Twist of Fate

**So, there were a severe decrease of reviews for the last chapter, but hey, not every chapter will be a home run. I acknowledge this. Just as long as I can keep everybody reading this story. But for those who did review, again, I'd like to say thank you. They helped produce this. This, which I miraculously was able to finish, despite my gradual descent back into all things True Blood. In fact, I had previously written a story for that fandom just based on something I briefly observed, and only come to find out that in the new season, they addressed it directly. Now that was awesome! Anywho, for anyone still stumped about Tim Gunn, he is a judge on Project Runway, and a huge fashion icon. One of his most famous sayings is "Make it Work!" which funnily enough, one of the contestants in a season, mocked him for saying it. I don't watch the show personally, only knowing this fact from a comedian who referenced the event, but I do like the man and I do like the saying. Anywho, next chapter. This one is...well...it's...I can't even...this is where I've been meaning to lead it to and I've been very back and forth on this decision, but ultimately, not able to convince myself it's a bad idea. Some of you will like it (maybe?), some of you will hate it. But it's what I've written and it's where I've been planning on going all along and I'm so enamored with the idea that we'll just have to see how things play out. Enjoy! **

* * *

**Chapter 15 – Simple Twist of Fate**

I sat on the squishy bar stool with a heavy hand caught in my scalp, twirling my locks every so often. This was mainly to settle my nausea. And make the bar stop spinning.

A large palm slapped me in the back, and I immediately jerked, fingers that were tracing the outline of the shot glass, slipping and sending the glass scurrying to the floor.

The bartender hardly noticed the accident what with the heavy bass shaking the entire bar, instead, focused on pouring out whiskey to a group of minors.

"Hey...where's your friend?"

Groggily, I turned to face the man who wanted my attention, squinting my eyes so he'd stay in once place.

Peering back at me hopefully was the college kid with the adorable dimples Clatia had picked out a week ago.

I threw him a toothy grin, one hand extending to rest on his shoulder. My brain warned me to back off and get back to my isolated drinking, but an equally incensed side urged me to have a little fun. I hadn't been having much of it anyway.

"Have you been anticipating her arrival?" I mumbled, eyes widening.

The boy, Billy, shrugged sheepishly, glancing down at his feet.

"She was really pretty."

I fought back the urge to roll my eyes at the stale comment.

Then again, Clatia always did find solace with the meekest of people.

Personally though, I thought she deserved a man who could at least look in her in the eyes for more than a few seconds.

"That's kind of you to say, but I'm sorry to inform you she died in a sleep induced coma."

Billy scanned me in disbelief, sorrow crippling his features.

Momentarily, I wondered if my joke had gone a bit too far.

But drunk me, hazy me, and impulsive me, all shared a unanimous chortle.

"How?" he gasped.

If he starts crying, I'll stop.

Unfortunately, this gone into the evening, I doubted I could make the distinction between happiness and grief.

"I have no idea. That's what the FBI told me."

The boy shook his head, one hand hovering above his mouth.

"I-."

"Piss off. Is' obvious you're ruinin' 'er night, you lil' piece o' shit."

I frowned, not exactly pleased with the crude dismissal.

But in a vacant center somewhere, I couldn't help and agree with the man's point.

Leave me the hell alone.

Billy blushed a cherry red before backtracking through a crowd, disappointed mask engraved into his face.

Turning to the source of the voice, I suspiciously observed a man sitting to the left of me. Bronze, short hair that hung like clipped pine cones over his hazel eyes. Prevalent stubble, indicating his age to be at least somewhere in his 30's. And indented cheeks, making him appear a bit like a ghoul.

But despite all of this, I couldn't help finding him oddly appealing. So many distinct and unique features complimented each other surprisingly well.

Or perhaps that was the booze talking.

"Sorry 'bout that," the man apologized, gulping back a shot of whiskey. "Normally, I don't get 'nvolved with people's situations. Yah seemed...uncomfortable."

Sighing, I felt my trepidation scurry away, melting internally at the accent he broadcasted.

Maybe from the United Kingdom. Irish?

"I'm Sean," he introduced a second later when all I did was stare.

"I'm-."

I paused, making sure my stomach was properly settled before I spoke. That would not be a swell outcome if more than just my words came sprouting out.

"-really drunk," I admitted, feeling a loopy grin slide into place.

"Nice to meet ya, really drunk!"

And the way he enunciated the r, forcing out the syllable for an extra three seconds, made other parts of myself tingly.

Dear me...am I really considering a one night stand? That is so...sleazy.

Then again, my first time wasn't exactly a brilliantly conceived Harlequin novel.

No, no. Just...talk with him. I don't need to drag in meaningless sex into numbing my pain.

Unfortunately, this proved a difficult thing to do.

For one, Sean was actually quite amusing in his own way. Especially when I only assumed just based on his initial words to Billy, that he'd have a raunchy sense of humor.

"Didja know wha' they call an alligator in a vest?"

Intoxicatedly subdued, I only raised my eyebrows, a coy smile aimed his way.

"An investigator! Funny, eh?"

And I did laugh, surprised to find his joking so tame, and the boyish joy displayed on his face.

Then, the man, who indeed I did come to learn was Irish, happened to be a relentless complimenter.

"Shit, there are girls in 'ere, but yer a _r_eal woman."

Which followed by heart warmers such as this.

"Glad I took a spot next to such a pretty lass."

Or this.

"Yer eyes remind me o' chocolate. Love chocolate."

I greedily held these comments near because every time I gave myself time to think about why a hunky, attractive European man would ever converse with an alcoholic, near mute woman, I already knew the answer.

He wanted the same thing nearly ever single man in the bar wanted.

An hour into his presence suddenly made me wonder why I was shying away from the encounter in the first place. It was just sex.

But that same unhappiness reemerged. Of why Jonathan and I had sex in the first place. Of how dissatisfied I really had been afterward. And then knowing with a bittersweet realization that the partnership wouldn't work.

Was it my fault?

Of course I knew we simply weren't compatible.

And yet...well, there again raced my guilt. Perhaps I'd simply been so abhorrent at sex that Jonathan didn't bother-.

"Lass?"

Blinking out of the vicious pondering, I rested my cheek on a hand, elbow digging into the sticky bar table.

"Sorry," I answered, "just a bit dazed."

"Yah seem like there's a lot on yer shoulders."

Knowing he wouldn't even begin to understand the half of it, I only shrugged, throwing him a serene smile.

"That's why we're at a bar. Helps ease the pressure. "

"Indeed."

Three shots later on both our parts and we were sitting considerably closer to each other, Sean having pulled his stool over to mine until I was practically sitting on his lap.

This very thought sent a roguish blush through me, but I no longer cared about containing it.

"So...I got a room 'bout a mile from 'ere. Yah interested?"

His ivory hand, ever so casually came to rest on top of my denim covered thigh.

Smirking, I glanced down, finding it difficult to contain the shivers with his hand so near.

He's experienced. No denying that.

"This isn't going to mean a thing, is it?" I quipped, a swift laugh falling out of me.

"Not dumb either. Ay, I like tha'," Sean nodded, opposite hand landing on my opposite thigh. Currently, the limbs were reasonably located near my knees, but I knew based on my own actions that they could just as easily move upwards.

I don't have to do this.

And the most peculiar thing about being seduced by an Irish charmer is that during the process, one is keenly aware of what's going on. No matter how many drinks they've gulped back, they know it's just a fling. The words are said so the legs spread open.

A bit of a lewd way to think about it, but it was true.

Internally, I damned my logic and my brain for still functioning. On other nights, my ability to properly assemble thoughts had been diminished by one in the morning.

The clock was growing dangerously close to two and I was still aware of my actions, to a certain degree at least.

"Ask me after we drink a little bit more," I offered, fingers wrapping around both of his wrists and slowly detaching them from my thighs.

Sean didn't protest, slapping the counter instead for a couple more shots.

TLOTLOTLOTLO

"C'mon lass, lets get goin'," he muttered, slipping his thin arms around me.

I sighed back into his touch, relieved I didn't have to worry about balancing myself. Sean had just gotten me off the bar stool and already, my inhibitions were as clear as a foggy night.

Which is a contradiction, mind you. That being the point!

Anyways, I was utterly plastered.

A word I learned from Sean.

We made a joined effort to maneuver around the thinning crowds, his breaths racing into my ear the closer to the door we got. Only bits and pieces of conversations passed on by, the music having shut off a full hour ago.

"Wanna know where I'm going ta' kiss ya first?" he throatily mumbled, steering me out of the way of a drunk party goer.

Closing my eyes, I allowed him to push me on forward, too content to answer at the moment.

Although the affection was temporary, the effects were heavenly. I felt as if I could die in the Irish man's arms and I'd be eternally happy.

Did I really crave love that much?

With a flinch, I opened my eyes, disappointed that my insecurities were still present, even after all of the alcohol I'd consumed.

"'Spose the question isn't rhetorical."

I paused suddenly and turned around, holding on to his arms to make sure I wouldn't fall to the floor. A few seconds were taken before I could finally view his form without it moving.

"I'm sorry," I admitted, one hand reaching up to cup his cheek. "Usually, I don't have sex with random men."

Sean nodded, his features appearing thoughtful for a moment.

"Good. Neither do I."

I couldn't help but laugh, stumbling forward into his warm body in the process as my hand traveled to wrap around the back of his neck.

"Don' worry 'bout it," Sean assured, hands exploring the strained muscles of my back. "We'll deal with the ruddin' feelings in tha mornin'."

Sniffing in his soft cologne, I quickly flicked out my tongue, running it along the pulse point of his neck.

The gesture was swift, but it made the arms around me tighten.

"Mmm...yer a kitty cat, eh?"

"You have no idea," I laughed, leaning up to take him in through hooded eyes.

With a devilish smirk, Sean wrapped his arms around me and we continued navigating our way to the front door. Which would lead to the street. Which would lead to Sean's hotel room. Which would lead into sex neither of us would want to acknowledge, much less care to remember in the morning. Most likely, wouldn't remember.

But I suppose it was the moment we lived in now. That was the true appeal of what we were doing.

And we would have gotten to experience that moment if not for the sudden blockade we experienced.

Really, they came out of nowhere. Like the killer does in all of those 80's horror films.

Thank you, Jonathan.

One moment, Sean was smiling into my ear, the next, his body was ripped away from my own.

"Tha fuck are ya doin'?"

I silently agreed with the angered comment, glaring blurry daggers at the blond man who'd interrupted our intoxicated cuddling by grabbing hold of my companion.

It exists. Trust me.

"How is it you Midgaridans say it...," another voice input. "Ah, yes. Back. Off."

Grumbling, my dagger stare intensified as another man stepped from behind the blond.

Although they weren't really men. At least not in the figurative sense.

"What are you doing here?" I scolded, glaring at Thor in particular who still had a painfully tight hold on Sean's shoulder. I knew the Irishman wouldn't admit it in the heat of the moment, but his strained slant was obvious as he fought back the discomfort.

"Making sure you do not make a large mistake," Thor easily answered, throwing me a helpful grin.

I wanted to desperately smack it off his face.

"I assure you I am doing no such thing!"

"I understand carnal lusts," Loki relayed, studying me carefully, "but with this man? Has your intelligence declined that severely since I was here last?"

I sputtered, throwing out a hand indignantly into the air.

"It must have. Please, keep on insulting me. There are so many damned standards I simply could not live up to in the eyes of a pair of Gods!"

And the hurt was just as evident as the fury, both battling to dominate the other.

A few onlookers around us grabbed at their beverages, excited at the proceedings.

Loki parted from Thor's side, approaching me.

The look on his face, indeterminable, made me nervous, and with an anxious hiccup, I began backing up.

But this did not deter the God of Mischief. He simply made his steps longer until the only thing I had left to back into was a round table. And even then, he strode forward until our knees were nearly touching.

"Do not think I ever looked down upon you," he growled, narrowing his green eyes. "If you knew in what light I saw you, rest assured that it would not be this sad excuse of a man's affections you would be receiving."

Breathing in sharply, I struggled to grasp the meaning of his words.

"Lies," I muttered.

Loki's lips quirked up, and with a predatory rise of the lips, he leaned forward, causing my form to hover over the table behind me.

"Does it frighten you to know that I am telling the truth for once?"

Attempting to steady my breaths, I tried picking out the malice or bitterness in his features.

There was none.

And the God was entirely right about my reaction.

"Ay, let go of Lucy!" Sean cried, attempting to peer over Loki's looming form. "She's done nothin' to yah punks."

Loki broke his gaze from me, twisting around to take in Sean.

"Innate, silly boy!" he goaded, taking a step forward. "How dare you think you have the right to have her when you do not even know her real name!"

Although the evening had been difficult to process so far, the minute Loki's words were said, my heart nearly stopped beating altogether.

He wouldn't know. There's no way.

Alas, my fears were proven true when seconds later, Loki threw his attention back my way and with a slow crawl, managed his way within inches of my own face.

Casually, he leaned in near my ear and with the smoothest tone possible, whispered, "Hello, _Irene_."

"How the hell do you know that?" I stammered back.

"That should not be your primary concern."

And ever so casually, the God placed both his palms on either side of me, resting them on the creaky table behind.

"What should be your concern," he continued, cool breaths making my hair stand on edge, "is how many times I plan on saying your name tonight."

The grin he gave me ate the gulp descending down my throat.

How the hell does he know my name? What are they doing here in the first place?

Of course these two questions forced me to acknowledge my blooming curiosity.

Damn...they both look incredible.

I frowned, unhappy with drunk me noting this. Especially when its scan was not of a professional manner.

"We'll ask you nicely," Loki proclaimed softly, raising a pale finger and snatching a strand of my auburn lock to twirl. "Come with us willingly."

I glanced at Sean, his very expression and form looking so frail compared to the two Gods he was dealing with.

"And if I decline?" I asked back, raising my eyebrows.

When Loki's smirk intensified, I felt my heart beat pick up to an unnatural level.

"She is declining," Loki suddenly yelled, throwing a quick glance behind to Thor.

The blond seemed indecisive for a moment. But only a moment.

"Do what you must, brother."

Before I even registered the action, Loki scooped me up and with a soft grunt, threw me over his shoulder like a sack of potatoes.

Seconds later and both Gods were striding out of the bar with me screaming profanities laced with a drunken language known only as gibberish. While valiantly attempting to battle the hold Loki had on my waist.

The patrons of the bar, cheering for some unknown reason, perhaps thinking it was all a staged show, didn't register, but Sean's apologetic look that said 'It was nice meeting you, but I'm not going to deal with them' hit me rather hard.

So by the time the down right chilly November night encompassed my flailing form, I was yelling loud enough to heat my body quite comfortably.

"Let me go, you brainless space monkeys!"

But on the Gods walked.

"I swear I am going to send you back to Asgard with one less appendage! Put me down!"

A block now we had traveled from the bar and I was still on a role.

"LET GO OF ME!"

Apparently, I had overestimated Loki's tolerance of a woman screaming obscenities into his ear.

One moment, my lungs were roaring out a storm, the next, the God slapped me right on the bottom.

"You son of a b-."

"If you insist on acting like a child, I will treat you like one," Loki responded firmly, tightening his hold on my waist.

I didn't have anything to retort with, and honestly, I think I had used every derogatory Earth term by then. And with the ground ceasing to stay as one, I slowly called it a night and simply allowed myself to lay limp.

The Gods strode on only another five minutes, myself hanging over Loki's shoulder, mesmerized by the speeding scenery. Of course everything was in slow motion, but my brain couldn't relish this fact.

In fact, my brain was still amazed at my current position.

Calm down. I just have to calm down a bit. So what if Thor and Loki came into an Earth bar unannounced, threatened the man I was going to sleep with, and stomped off with me unwillingly? It's not like I have given them a proper chance to explain their thoughts.

"Damn," I mumbled, my throat hoarse from all of the screaming.

"Are you cold?" Thor questioned.

It took me a moment to realize we'd abruptly stopped in the street.

Above us, an uncertain, murky sky brought down an immobile cold front. This indicated that most likely, this would be a very chill winter.

"I'm not nearly drunk enough for this," I realized aloud with a soft flurry of amusement, pressing my cheek into Loki's wooly trench coat.

And this admission shocked me. Was it the presence of other magical beings that allowed me to stay so remarkably clear headed? Or maybe my brain was in the midst of a revolt, forcing me to indulge the logic I had so hastily shoved away.

One way or another, I found myself being lowered on to the cement and seconds later, a coat being pulled around me.

When I glanced up, I noted it was Loki's coat I was now bundling myself in.

Sniffling, I glanced down at my feet, unsure about what would happen were I to look up.

"I apologize for the dramatic display," Thor first spoke. "I feared there was no other proper way to get your attention."

Shrugging, I muttered, "It's okay. I didn't really want to have sex with him anyway."

"Then why did you allow him to think this?" Loki questioned darkly, crossing his arms.

I closed my eyes, only feeling the deep thump of my heart batter against my ribs like a Latin drum.

"Because I wanted to be loved just for one night. No matter how temporary. Or brief."

And admitting this to myself verbally gave me the confidence to meet the stares of each God.

"That is weakness talking," Loki noted.

"I am a weak creature," I admitted.

Thor shot a quick glare at his brother, and Loki met it with a sigh.

"Must you constantly bring yourself down for actions that were taken out of your control?"

Studying him, I brought his coat up to my chin. A faint scent of cinnamon rolls assaulted my nostrils, and I inhaled deeper, wondering if Loki had a guilty Little Debbie fetish.

"How much did Clatia tell you?"

Because by this point, there was only one person I knew that held the pleasure of knowing my real name. And ever so languidly, I connected the dots. Or at least attempted to.

Clatia wasn't as ignorant to my night time gatherings as I thought.

"Enough to make us concerned," Thor answered.

I flinched, fingers clenching the coat tighter.

"So you are only here because Clatia had guilt tripped you into helping me? _Oh,_ misericordia!"

"We had the opportunity to say no," Loki pointed out. "As soon as your friend called and told us of your...state of mind, Thor and I could have easily gone back home. And yet, here we are."

"Home?" I couldn't help but prod, a small smile creeping up. "You acknowledge it as such?"

Loki seemed confused for a moment, not even realizing what he'd said.

"How have you two been? You're both looking healthy. And can stand each others presence without beginning World War III," I noticed.

The Gods shared a look with each other before taking me in.

"Is this an attempt at diverting your unhappiness?" Loki inquired.

"A part of me does want to know," I defended. "Although, I can't say I'll remember your answers in the morning."

"Then we will speak of our journey tomorrow. Tonight, you are our concern," Thor deduced.

Inhaling once more, I slowly nodded, unsure what the night would bring. But I trusted each man. Especially since they were willing to be around me at my worst.

Unfortunately, my insecurities couldn't quite be bottled up in time.

What if they just want to know more about my realm? Or how to get there? What if Clatia threatened them to help me? What if they're looking for a chance to only bring me down further?

And with all of this doubt coursing through me, eating away at my ability to walk, I couldn't let out a proper word for a moment.

But when I did, I directed it at Loki.

"Your coat smells like cinnamon rolls."

At my amused glance, the God stiffened, but I caught the grin threatening to slide into place.

"This realm _does_ have its uses."

The words were spoken like they were painful for him to admit, but this garnered a soft laugh from me.

Thor threw Loki an exasperated glance before admitting, "My brother has had the fetish since his first trip here."

Loki glared back at the blond, eyes narrowed and jaw tightened.

I could only think to offer one last thought.

I knew it!

Seconds later and we entered a diner nearby, ready to embrace the warm, and in my case, hopefully some words and actions I'd remember in the morning that would help accomplish what alcohol couldn't completely.

TLOTLOTLOTLO

Waking up after a night of intense drinking is not one of the most admirable moments of a former Queen. Although, the fact that I am a former Queen should make up for it.

Nevertheless, the headache that blasts all of your neurons, leaving your eyes incapable of remaining open for a long period of time, keeping your stomach in a constant cycle of nausea, and poisoning your ability to take in bright light, really are quite unfortunate side effects.

Although these were unpleasant to deal with in the mornings, by far the worst aspect were the black holes. Not the ones the universe combusts, but the ones that are like windshield wipers, wiping away the night before and only allowing very few and far in between memories to ascend to the surface of consciousness.

Ever since I had been stumbling home in the midst of drunkenness, I prayed each morning that I hadn't done something stupid the night before.

Like getting a tattoo in a private area.

Don't act coy. You know what I mean.

Or murdering someone.

Which I'm told does happen.

And so far, I'd been unimaginably lucky with the journey to my apartment. Definitely didn't detect any visible tattoos (I even checked in the shower to make sure). Most certainly did not murder someone, at least none that I could pick out on my clothes.

Still, despite all of this, waking up the morning after my interrupted date at the bar, felt oddly unusual.

One particular reason why, even before I opened my eyes, was because I felt...pleasant. Which isn't even a descriptive enough word to use.

But the fact could not remain hidden. My insides were at rest, and rather than a familiar sting of a headache, my mind was functioning without strain.

Letting out my first audible sigh of the day, I made an attempt at figuring out why the hellish side effects of a hangover weren't greeting me as I further cuddled into my pillow.

Unfortunately, the black holes common of a heavy night of drinking, were still prominent.

Vaguely, I recalled sitting down, then Billy asking for Clatia, then meeting Sean, before finally, Loki throwing me over his shoulder.

I recalled, for some reason or other, calling him a, "Dubious pimple on the ass of a weasel."

But any further than that and a road block of complete darkness emerged.

Inhaling, I allowed the peace to consume me for the time being and even gained enough courage to try prying open one eye, just to see if my vision was as good as the way my body felt.

It took a few blinks, but gradually, my vision began to clear up.

That's when the second odd thing presented itself.

With a tired yawn, I placed a hand on my forehead, observing my surroundings from my back.

The problem was...they most certainly were not the surroundings common of my bedroom, if evident by the rapidly rotating ceiling fan, brown, oak blades twirling like a helicopter.

Did I kill someone, then decide to live in their home? Oh my...now that would make for an intense episode of Maury.

'I killed a man and slept in his bed afterward...he may also be the baby daddy of my daughter, Racquel.'

Despite my initial confusion, I couldn't help but laugh at this thought, realizing how much day time television messed with my normally unfaltering views toward society.

But really...why would the stepmother have sexual relations with her stepson, then get pregnant and deny the baby is his?

Crinkling my nose, I dropped a hand on my stomach, exhausted at the very situation.

What the-?

With a frown, I glanced down at the place I'd brought my hand, blinking a few times just to make sure I was seeing things correctly.

Indeed I was.

Meeting my wide gaze was my naked stomach.

I didn't register the sight at first.

Instead, I did what I like to think every other sensible being who's ever woken up to a naked stomach before, would do.

Ever so carefully, I raised the sheet wrapped around my waist.

Just to see the nakedness extend all of the way down to my toes.

Well, would you look at that.

And out of nowhere, an intense panic gripped my lungs, keeping me petrified for a good few seconds as my eyes kept on rescanning my exposed limbs.

I don't know what finally forced me into movement, but ever so casually, I turned over to my left.

Only to see a burly, sculpted, golden, _naked_ body sharing the same sheets I was over their waist, blond hair firmly attached to the scalp.

I needed to only study the man's muscled back to realize who it was.

Thor.

With a shocked squeak, I switched over to my other side, intent on flying out of the bed as soon as possible.

This action was prevented when my eyes took in the equally _naked_, pale, thin body of another man laying beside me. No, scratch that.

God.

This time, his entire front was viewable to my eyes, and currently, the God appeared to be in a comfortable sleep, slight grin tugging at his lips.

"Loki," I breathed out in unrelenting confusion, mouth unable to slam shut properly.

I scanned his black hair, a tad shorter now, but still just as rampant, resting calmly on his shoulders.

What the hell did I do last night?

And this was the last logical thought striking me before I began thrashing around in the bed, hellbent on convincing myself I did _not_ have sex with the two Asgardian Gods I had helped reunite.

Because that is just a Maury episode waiting to happen.

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**Are your eyes as round as saucers? Also, misericordia is mercy in Latin. Let me know your thoughts in a review!**


	16. Fever 2012

**WHOA! So huge reaction to the last chapter. And a great deal of personal thoughts, which I love. A lot of people do not like what I did. Some people are freaked out. Others don't know what to think. Some predicted this would happen. While a few are jealous of Irene (eventually, I got the name from the Greek Goddess of Peace). I am sorry if you don't like what I did, but an author takes risks and goes places that they feel from their hearts. This is mine. I'm glad you have all stuck with me, thank you for the reviews, but I am going to say that if you did not like what happened in the last chapter, most likely, you won't enjoy the rest of the story. That's not meant to be a spoiler, btw. It's just a fact. Above all, I want to remind everybody that I am by far not a perfect author. I have a gaping hole of issues and problems in this story. Just remember before you get angry that this is just a teenager who's exploring writing. Not a talented, veteran author of this site. Thank you. Otherwise, to those still reading on, here's the next chapter! Enjoy! **

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**Chapter 16 - Fever 2012**

Loki was the first to react to my violent squirming, immediately throwing out his thin arms around my waist even before opening his eyes.

Unfortunately for him, I was entirely too forceful for such an early time in the morning.

With a frustrated squeal and a full bodied shove, entangled limbs and white sheet in all, I had successfully managed to roll both ourselves right off the edge of the bed.

I landed on top of the God with an oof, realizing only too late just where exactly our body parts ended up touching.

A strained groan spread through Loki's chest, his green eyes widening as a result, and I severely doubted it was because he was in pain.

With strands of hair blocking out my view, I pushed up into a kneeling position, grabbing the sheet on the way. A firm tug later and I successfully dislodged the remaining portion from underneath Loki and hurriedly wrapped it around my body, fingers trembling.

One further strain upward and I was on my feet.

I observed Loki lying on the carpeted floor beneath me for only a second before I twirled around.

And ran right into the muscular chest of another man, his arms just as tight, wrapping me up in a bear hug.

"Calm down," Thor breathed into my ear, attempting to balance my wriggling form.

When I continued struggling, he released me, but not before grabbing on to one arm, preventing me from sprinting away.

"Wait and let us explain."

My eyes sped back and forth between the two Gods wildly, grasping the sheet to me.

Where once, standing naked before a God ceased to bother me, this time around, I had willingly engaged in sexual acts with said God...and his brother. In one way or another, the white sheet helped prevent further embarrassment from consuming me.

"Explain?" I stuttered, exhaling loudly. "What in Medusa's name would warrant me to wake up in the bed between you two? I'm not a whore."

"Neither my brother nor I think this," came Thor's fierce proclamation, blue eyes piercing into me.

The announcement stunned me for a moment, and a relief I hadn't known to be present, eased into me ever so casually.

"Then what...what happened last night?" I asked, attempting to even out my tone.

To my left, Loki slowly pulled himself to his feet.

Oh...oh.

I felt my gaze fly up to the ceiling, remembering I was the only owner of a white sheet. Otherwise, both Gods were utterly...well, exposed.

The blush spread through me like a wave, leaving no stretch of skin unmarked by a soft red.

"I would think it very obvious," Loki pointed out, smugness very much prevalent in his tone. "If you wish for a repeat performance-."

"-no, no!" I interrupted, shifting in place. "That's not...necessary."

"Promise you will not run until we explain?" Thor bargained, releasing his hold just a fraction on my wrist.

"Will I like the explanation?" I quietly inquired, risking a glance at his face.

Just his face. I swear.

"Considering your reaction to waking up...I can not be sure. But we owe this to you, especially with what transpired last night."

"One night stand?"

Thor met Loki's eyes and again, the two shared an inaudible conversation that for the life of me, I couldn't pick up on.

"We do not plan on it being so."

My mouth dropped open, watching Thor in barely concealed shock.

"Did I consent?"

"Of course you did!" Loki exclaimed in annoyance. "You began it."

Now, I couldn't help but frown.

"Me? I'll admit, I was in the mood last night. But not enough to where I'd ruin the relationship between you two."

"But that is the beauty of it," Thor continued, releasing my wrist. "My brother and I, after we had returned to Asgard and gradually began confronting the things which made us bitter towards each other in the first place, had only your importance last to acknowledge. We both shared a deep...interest in you. And for awhile, our halls were eerily silent, both of us engaged in a brutal stalemate as to who would pursue you."

"Pursue me?"

"Do you honestly believe our interests would disappear as soon as you banned us from your apartment?" Loki scoffed, taking a step forward.

At the action, I backed up a step, clutching the sheet closer.

He smirked at this, tilting his head as his eyes did a gradual sweep.

"It is not as if I have not seen it before. Although I must say, this time around, I enjoyed tasting it far more."

My limbs quivered against their own will at the rough arousal in his voice.

Jonathan most certainly never acted on such ravenous impulses.

And a mute curse erupted in my head at this comparison. How ironic is it that the first man I had met after making love to my neighbor, happened to be my next bed mate?

"Now would not be the time to scare her away," Thor reprimanded, meeting my eyes. "Both of us came to care for you in a very paramount way."

"How paramount?"

And for some reason or other, I couldn't banish out the curiosity in my voice. Or maybe hope.

Damn it, don't let it be hope. This is...wrong. These things don't happen. Least of all to people like me.

But these thoughts were molded out of the despondency resting in my soul. This was fear talking, believing I wasn't deserving of such expansive attentions.

Again, the brothers shared a look.

"What you had done for us," Thor spoke, "could not be amounted in words. I believe this was the last action, for myself personally, that allowed me to acknowledge I was not only attracted to you, but wanted you in my life in a more...permanent manner."

"By permanent, you mean?"

"A courtship," he elaborated, having the decency to look meek. "And Loki wanted much of the same thing for you."

"So...what happened?"

"We acknowledged that perhaps courting you at the moment would be unwise. We were unsure as to whether your anger still dictated your impression of us. It was not until Clatia wished to meet, informing us of your condition, that everything else fell into place."

"So you only wanted sex?" I realized with a frown, tilting my head at Thor.

"Again, you only assume the worst of us," Loki argued. "Have we left that unfavorable of an impression on you?"

Biting at my lip, I tugged nonchalantly at the sheets.

"Sorry."

And this time, the apology was warranted. The God was right. I was assuming the worst, especially out of creatures I had come to find a familiar identity with.

Still, it was difficult not to feel ruffled in the current position I occupied.

"Our intentions were moved aside in order to help you. Help you become the person you were prior to your realm's banishment. Or at least attempt to re-establish a thirst for life."

"You have a realm to rule," I softly noted. "Spending your time helping a depressed human isn't in the job description."

"You had given up far more to help us," he countered. "The fact does not escape me that your current predicament is our fault."

I glanced over at Loki, sure that he was going to argue with something his brother said.

But he appeared just as convinced.

"So...what happened last night? After the bar."

"There was an eating establishment we sat down at," Thor began, for the first time all morning, appearing unsure. "There, we discussed all that had plagued you. You spoke to us of the reason why you drank so heftily and how demanding your job title was. You spoke of your connection to the universe and the hurt you felt once it left you."

"You cried," Loki input.

I tried to keep my features non caring, but the proclamation struck me quite soberly.

"I'm sorry."

That was all I could think to say as embarrassment charged through me.

Not a Queen anymore. Don't have to worry about crying, remember?

"Do not ever be sorry for that," Thor defended, proving my point. "Your ability to open up...this allowed me to admit that I loved you."

Wait...what?

"Out loud?"

"...initially."

Inhaling carefully, I flicked my gaze toward Loki.

"And what about you? Did you just watch all of this silently?"

"Your admissions had me at odds with what to say," the God admitted, regarding me coolly. "So...what I could not say in words, I presented in actions."

"And you claim I began it all," I chided.

"You did not pull away," Loki responded hastily. "And you made the most..._tantalizing_ noise in the back of your throat. If this did not solidify the rest of the night, I do not know what did."

Now, the same heated look was back, and I quickly avoided my eyes, unhappy at how eagerly my body hummed at the expression.

"If it is any consolation," Loki noted, sensing my unease, "you did logically talk out the situation."

"In what way?" I mumbled.

"You admitted to enjoying both of our company. And to having a difficult time choosing. In fact, you refused to once each of us presented our interest in you."

My eyes fell to the mattress, maroon blanket crumpled at the foot of the bed.

"I have a feeling this didn't remain my final decision for long."

"You had regressed back to blaming yourself," Thor recalled with a frown. "This was not something I took kindly to. Especially the unjust sorrows of a marvelous Queen."

I snorted.

"My rule was not as grand as Clatia would have you believe."

"I disagree," Thor argued. "All I have to do is remember what it is you have done for this realm and for myself. These are selfless, courageous acts that every being of royal blood should possess."

I tried keeping back my smile, but really, the God just knows how to put you in a good mood.

Not meant to be a pun.

"So...we all just went at it?"

"I would not say it was so...barbaric," Loki explained with a quick smirk. "Rather, it was momentous. Building gradually until we promised to display our...want for you in whatever way we could."

"He means to say love," Thor confirmed. "After you had begun blaming yourself again, it was the only way either of us could think to show how much you have meant to us. It did not result from vain lusts or pity, of that, I give you my word. Loki and I wished to convey your importance in a way that would force you to recognize that you are loved, even if you feel undeserving of it. Or not capable of feeling it at all."

I blinked, my grip on the sheet actually slipping an inch.

"You really feel that for me?" I marveled in astonishment.

"Yes," came Thor's steady reply. "I had much time to ponder your actions over. When Clatia informed me that you are the reason the Bifrost is running again, and told me what your intent for this was...there no longer remained any doubt."

Although it appeared as if I was barely breathing, my insides were experiencing something quite interesting. Something that rang of hope and wrapped itself around my heart, brushing everything it touched with a knee quivering, jaw dropping ray.

Is this what I've been denying myself?

I couldn't be sure, but I embraced the sensation, wishing it would permanently burrow itself within me.

"It would appear once again that Thor is better at acknowledging that which comes easy for him," Loki informed, his smirk completely gone now. "I may not say it to you at this moment, or tomorrow, but know that my actions speak what it is that I struggle to understand. You are...essential to me. Everything from your mind to your body to your words. You call yourself a whore for what occurred last night. I think of it as completing the role you play in our lives. Do not assume we will let you go without a fight."

Those same sensations from Thor's words, now gripped on to my nerves, causing my heart to slow down in its racing.

"What do you mean by that?" I couldn't help but ask, very well aware that in his own way, Loki had just professed his love for me.

"It means," the dark haired man clarified, venturing a step forward, "that what transpired last night is only the beginning for you. You are now the sole property of the Odinson brothers. No other man may touch you, much less flirt. And I very much mean your human neighbor."

The gasp raced out of me before I even had the chance to contain it.

"Do not scare her," Thor chastised. "It is enough that she has willingly chosen us both."

At my continued trepidation, Thor exhaled.

"Considering you have no recollection of what happened last night, something you promised us would not be the case, it is still your decision to accept what it is we offer. That being our personal devotion and continuous efforts to help you reach that serenity you once lived in."

"But will you honestly turn a blind eye if she decides to take a mortal to bed?" Loki argued, studying his brother. "_Especially_ after last night."

The blond didn't reply right away, the very act signaling his own answer.

Meanwhile, I was in limbo.

Here, two Gods had found me on Earth, both hiding affections for me (or so they claim...although, with waking up and all, it's certainly difficult to believe otherwise). Then, these two Gods, whom I will admit to having a fixed interest in before (or maybe more...gah! is this really happening?), wanted to help me by proving how important I was to them. Which resulted in sex.

Which according to waking up in a very pleasant and serene mood, I had to assume was mind blowing sex.

And now I'm awake and they claim that I'm theirs.

Just a normal day in my life.

I don't know where it began, but all of a sudden, I began laughing. And not a polite laugh that a former Queen divulges.

A laugh that shook my entire body, forcing the grip I had carried on the sheet, to loosen completely and crumple at a pile by my feet.

Both Gods watched on in confusion, and I really couldn't blame them. My sudden fit of laughter was just as difficult to explain as it came.

But Loki did throw me an appreciative glance when my sheet had been discarded.

"I am not _nearly _sober enough for this!" I screeched, slowly backing away.

And with a combined pace and further shaking laughs, I felt my back press into the door behind me.

"I am afraid I do not understand," Thor said, following my moves with his own distance.

"This," I indicated, flinging my hand between the three of us, "can't happen."

Again, I laughed, throat tightening from the deprivation of oxygen.

"Why not?" Loki asked, the slightest threat in his voice. "You will _never_ find two individuals who will care so much for you. Last night, you grabbed on to both of our hands and led us to feel something we have been very disconnected from. True pleasure. Are you really going to deny yourself this again?"

His comment sobered me up, making my laugh die midway up my throat.

"I've done it before," was my stubborn reply. "You two are Gods. Your initial interest in me came from the fact that I was able to match you in power. I am human now. A race that you-."

I pointed at Loki, aware that the momentary happiness I had allowed myself to feel, was slowly seeping out.

"-had tried to murder on several occasions. I have no reason to believe you won't do the same, even if we did wake up in bed together. And Thor...your admission is beautiful, but you don't understand yet how demanding your title is. How do you honestly expect yourself to help a broken woman when your realm calls for a proper rule? That was my mistake. Not paying attention to what was happening at home. Do not throw away such duties for a feeble shot at making me happy."

I released a breath, holding out both hands calmly.

"I appreciate both of your efforts at helping me. More than appreciate. I'd have probably woken up next to Sean, hating myself more than I already do if not for your interference. But I am not comfortable with either of your special attentions toward me. Not when there are so many more important things for you to accomplish. So...thank you. For last night. Even if I can't remember it. My body is telling me that you both took care of it quite well. But I want you both to go back to Asgard. It's your proper place."

And immediately, I sensed the fight spring up in each God. Just from the way their bodies angled forward.

Above all, this action possibly scared me the most. That their reactions were so straightforward, and they were so easily able to find the words to keep me there.

I'm afraid to hear what they have to say.

Taking in a deep breath, I knelt down, grabbed the white sheet from the floor, and proceeded to re-wrap myself up.

"This is your final decision?" Thor concluded, when the only noise resonating through the room were the determined puffs of my breaths.

One hand paused above my heart, and I watched the limb, feeling such an insurmountable conflict of emotions battle within me that I couldn't breathe properly for a moment.

Realistically, let's look at this. I drunkenly had sex with Loki and Thor. Because, or so their story claims, I found comfort in the love they proclaimed to me.

Very, very scandalous. I might as well make myself a home in the Gelida Spelunca for this action, provided I were still a resident of my realm.

But...but...look at how I woke up. So calm, and peaceful, and with a lack of inner pain. Loved in a way I imagined was unreachable for me.

These thoughts battled back and forth in just a collaboration of mere seconds, and for the briefest of moments, I wondered if perhaps everything terrible that had happened to me - the exposure, the taking of my title, the banishment, being bound to a human life when previously, I had lived a thousand of them combined - was a blessing in disguise. Perhaps it was allowing me to pursue that which I couldn't formerly due to the position I was in.

This revelation a lit that hope again, but it quickly simmered down at my disbelief.

These Gods claim to love me. Whether they can face it or not, I am beneath them. There's no way Loki has gotten over his detest towards the human race so quickly. And Thor has his realm to rule. How could there be time for a relationship, especially one that requires helping an emotionally wrecked, former Queen?

Despite all of these doubts, I was surprised to find that I was not choosing one brother over the other. Whether Loki's words had some truth to them, I can't be sure, but the idea of being with one God rather than the other, felt unfair to me in some way.

Woah...okay, I'm actually thinking about this relationship. A relationship of three persons. Could it even work out? Have Thor and Loki really settled their differences to such a point that sharing me would come easy?

Or maybe...maybe this is what has brought them together. They are both reaching towards the same goal.

"This is my final decision," I promised, making sure the words got out before the doubts did.

An awkward silence passed by, and I felt incredibly guilty for being the cause of it.

Internally, however, I knew it was never going to work out.

Right?

"Well...your answer will not deter us from helping you reach serenity," Thor continued, voice a tad bit steelier. "Whether you wish to believe this or not, we are committed to helping you become of the right mind again."

Unsure of what he was saying, I felt that same hope kick me square in the gut.

"Ah, observe this, brother," Loki mentioned with a grin. "She really believes a few wisely chosen words will rid us from her life."

Then, the God laughed, one white limb traveling to his rib cage.

To my complete embarrassment, Thor's smile charged into full view.

"We are not having sex again!" I stated firmly, eyes firmly set on both Gods.

"Of course not," the blond promised. "But I find it incredibly amusing to see that out of all of the repulsive actions we have displayed, making love is the one that freezes your features in horror."

My eyes narrowed, the heat dropping down from my cheeks, all the way down to my toes.

"Sex," I defended with a growl. "It was sex."

"If I may be so blunt," Loki offered, taking a predator's march forward. "You do not even recall the events of last night. You have a very small concept of just exactly what transpired, _dilectus meus_."

I scowled, cursing my understanding of Latin, cursing my involvement in the Asgardian brothers, and cursing most of all, how boldly my body was reacting to their teasing.

With the best nonchalance I could display, I lifted my chin, felt around behind me for the door knob, and wretched the door open.

Seconds later and I was marching down a hallway, wearing only the bed sheet from my love making...NO, SEX escapades.

TLOTLOTLOTLO

"What in the name of-?"

"I don't want to talk about it."

And that was the only conversation I shared with Clatia. The next few hours were spent rinsing myself of last night underneath a searing shower head, pacing back and forth on my floor like my problems were life threatening, deciding to get out the bottle, but not drinking anything from it, then falling into a restless sleep.

When I woke up again, three hours later in a shadowed darkness, the November sky proving to be gray and unmerciful, I was considerably far more at ease mentally.

Clatia stood at the door, observing me.

Rubbing wearily at my eyes, I sighed, knowing that my explanation was weak. Especially to the person who deserved it the most.

"You shouldn't have called them."

It wasn't really an accusation, and my being didn't completely encompass this thought. If the period of time between coming home and waking up taught me anything, it was that even though all of last night wasn't memorable, it helped open up a previously unpaved pathway to feelings I was so unnaturally submissive to that I didn't even ponder on their dangers.

The Gods wanted me to feel loved. Despite my grumbling and the way they showcased this, the mission was a success.

Instead of defending herself, Clatia merely responded, "I'm sorry."

The words were meant to gauge my reaction as seen from the way her eyes scurried over me.

I sighed, motioning for her to come in.

She flicked on the lights and I blinked blindly for a few seconds, hoping the right words would come to me to explain what occurred.

"I am to guess Thor and Loki found you?" she inquired, sitting down on the edge of the bed.

You have no idea.

"Yep," I answered, leaning back on my hands.

"They want to help," she insisted when a silence blanketed my answer. "If they did not care about your well being, they would have brushed off my request and gone back to Asgard. You know that, correct?"

"I know."

Boy did I.

Frowning, I banished all of the heat from my tummy.

"So...based on your appearance when you first came into the apartment this morning, I can't quite figure out what happened. I mean did they try talking it out? Did they say something vile? Do you want me to talk to them?"

I remained mute for a moment longer, delicately wording the explanation in my head.

"We...uh...the three of us," I hesitated, glancing down at my knees, "may have participated in a very scandalous activity."

Meeting my friend's gaze, I was slightly amused to see her so confused.

"Scandalous?" she repeated, studying my clothed self with a curious frown. "Explain."

Sighing, I sat back up and relaxed my shoulders.

No pressure. It's only Clatia.

"Somehow, during the evening, while in the embrace of intoxication, Thor, Loki, and I...or so they claim, although, once I awoke, I believe my limbs were supporting their story, which really is a funny coincidence considering-."

"Irene, you're rambling!"

Laughing nervously, I offered a sheepish smile.

"We...all engaged in a..."

When her eyebrows further rose up, I blew out a deep breath.

"Sex."

Then, I coughed, unbelievably astounded at how nervous I was to admitting such a fact.

"You engaged in a sex?" she repeated with a raised eyebrow. "How does one normally go about, engaging in a sex? Is this a common Midgardian practice?"

Oh, misericordia.

"The three of us had sex with each other!" I blurted, throwing out an anxious hand.

For all of three seconds, my heart hammered so loudly against my ribcage that I was sure both of us could hear its resonance off the walls.

Clatia's features went from confusion to shock to looking like all of the blood had drained from her face.

"I'm going to personally murder them."

Surprised with the venomous promise, I stood, offering Clatia's pinched up face, my hand.

"Don't...I willingly participated in this."

"You were inebriated! You didn't know what you were doing!"

Biting at my lip, I remembered what Thor had told me. I had assured both Gods that I would recall what we had done in the morning. Which was most likely said out of lust, and very much a lie.

But drunk me, and turned on me, did not care. And perhaps lonely me didn't either.

"I can't exactly say that's the case."

My friend shot up from her spot on the bed.

"I told them to help you get better. Those _plennus adulteri_ sleep with you. I will personally remove their-."

"Clatia!" I interrupted, a bit concerned from the anger radiating off her. "They succeeded."

She scoffed at this, crossing her arms.

But the longer I continued staring at her, the less vicious her eyes grew.

"I woke up and I felt...refreshed," I explained. "My body didn't ache, I wasn't drowning in my sorrows, and to my complete joy, I could look at myself with pride rather than disgust."

"Being a God's whore is nothing to be proud of."

Widening my eyes, I felt my shoulders slump down.

"Damn. I did not mean to say that," she apologized, risking a step forward. "I know you're not that. But honey...what are the chances they feel real love toward you?"

"They stayed," I pointed out, unsure exactly how I had gone from scorning their actions to defending them.

"But-."

"Don't worry...I thought about it this morning," I assured. "I'm not so naive as to think that a sexual encounter with a pair of Asgaridan Gods will lead to us living happily ever after. There are issues they refuse to address regarding our claimed...bond. Thor is a King. Loki has major problems with the human race. I acknowledge this, even when they don't. And I told them that a further encounter regarding sex would not be happening ever again."

Clatia nodded, crossing her arms.

"I feel as if you are refraining from mentioning the rest," she wisely added.

"Well...you know one night couldn't completely mute all insecurities. I've still got...problems to work out."

And I hated how uncomfortable I was with discussing this with my friend. Considering our past, she should have been the one I was most at ease with.

"What Loki and Thor did...in my own way, I appreciate it. Even if I can't remember it. And once they agreed that we wouldn't be engaging in that again, they promised to continue helping me. While I'm unsure as to how valiantly they'll follow through with this promise, and eventually, I anticipate them realizing I'm not exactly easy to bare with, thus leaving, I am kind of...open to their suggestions."

"Apparently," she observed with a half lipped smile.

"That's dirty," I smiled, shuddering at the image.

Another silence passed, and I took it to mean Clatia was on board.

"If they even try touching you-."

"They won't!" I promised.

"I know they won't. They will not have heirs if they do."

This time, my laugh did not come out sardonic or out of nervousness.

"If you hadn't come from a realm of such peace," I noted, "you would be a very dangerous enemy of Asgard."

"For some reason, I fail to see the harm in this."

TLOTLOTLOTLO

About five times throughout the entire day, I went back and forth on my decision. Although I had made it official by admitting it out loud to Clatia regarding my willingness to listen to what Thor and Loki had to say, this didn't mean that the idea was particularly adamant about being in use.

Logic and doubt both backed the bad ideas about allowing the Gods into my life. But they also backed the good ones as well.

By the time night rolled in, I was mentally exhausted from such a biting campaign of pros and cons.

But I couldn't deny that I wanted the old me back as well. I was so very tired of succumbing to the same guilt that never seemed to tarnish no matter how many days went by.

So after consuming half a bottle, relatively low considering how unquenchable the liquid had become to me, and hiding the object beneath my bed, I fell back into bed.

As soon as I began dreaming, my body relaxed itself and allowed whatever my subconscious was not voicing, to soar through.

Before this, however, my brain processed the common dream of years past.

Finding out I was Queen.

TLOTLOTLOTLO

_"It will be you, Clatia. I cannot even begin to believe there could be anyone who would be so deserving," I whispered, tightening the hold I had on her hand._

_Around us, the entire square was packed with men and women wearing the traditional ceremony robes. They were made of a silk-like, golden material, covering our bodies from neck to ankle. Rather than being free flowing like the ones we wore daily, these ones clung to every inch of our bodies, indicating a mutual belief that we had nothing to hide from each other._

_Clatia nodded, blond lashes blinking back determination._

_"You even wore your robes this time," she muttered out of the corner of her mouth, keeping her focus straight ahead._

_I grimaced, gazing up at the palace balcony. The previous years, I hadn't exactly made a habit of doing this. One of the only younger beings of the realm who did this. The others who did not wear their robes were those too ancient to get into them._

_"It only reaffirms how sure I am that this will be your crowning moment."_

_I didn't miss her relieved smile._

_Queen Ingrid, the reigning queen for 15 years, appeared from the inside of the palace, red lips smiling at her citizens. She was a heftier woman, but this did not ruin her appearance by any means. Long, red hair pulled back into a thick braid indicated the regal strength of such a powerful being. Sea foam colored eyes warmed at the cheering from her people, even though she rarely spoke with them. And a great relaxing heave showed for just a brief moment, all that she had dedicated to keeping the universe and all of its inhabitants, safe._

_"My friends. My people."_

_Everyone silenced at the voice, heads forced up._

_Quickly, I glanced down at my feet, unhappy for some reason at seeing her grin so big. It made me feel as if she was ready to declare her presence for another five years. And while she was not a terrible Queen, I was holding the hand of the rightful one._

_"Another five years have passed, and with it, the ushering in of a Queen becomes mandatory. This year, I am saddened, but so very happy to announce that one woman among those standing beneath me, will spread peace through the nine realms and beyond."_

_Clatia's grip jerked, briefly making me wince in pain. But I squeezed back assuredly._

_There was a silence that followed, but unlike the ones before, this one felt far more tense. As if its mere make up carried frenzied particles ready to ignite friction upon command._

_"It will be you," I assured underneath my breath._

_My friend said nothing, neck stretched up and lips set in an anxiety ridden line._

_"We all are understanding of the role a Queen plays."_

_This time, I too forced my head up, and behind me, I heard a few murmurs erupt._

_Normally, a Queen did not go on to discuss personal thoughts. We all understood what being a Queen entitled already._

_Ordinarily, Queen Ingrid should have just said the woman's name and we would all offer a collective word of protection and joy._

_But shortly, we all understood this was not the case._

_"A Queen is merciful even in times that do not call for it. A Queen does not take a side while remaining blind to the suffering of their opponents. A Queen-."_

_And in an uncharacteristic gesture, Queen Ingrid's gaze traveled down._

_At first, I believed she was looking at Clatia. _

_No. _

_I convinced myself she was looking at Clatia._

_"A Queen gives everything to see the survival and co-existence of those who are not offered second chances. She protects and nurtures and allows the universe to care for its people."_

_Even though I could not see them from my position, a few rows ahead of me, the council sat in their royal thrones, all eight of them observing Queen Ingrid's speech._

_"A Queen...is vulnerable."_

_The last word came out strained, and I narrowed my eyes, attempting to decipher what she was trying to imply. This trait was arguable to many in our realm._

_"Please step up here, Irene. You are the new Queen of the nine realms and beyond."_

_I didn't register the eyes pasted on me, not just from the former Queen, but from the shocked gazes of the audience around me._

_I bit back a whimper at how brutal Clatia's grip had become._

_"Irene, dear. Come claim your rightful position."_

_And again, the woman's addition of the word 'rightful', forced my frown to anchor down deeper._

_When my form began falling backwards, I thought for sure that I would pass out in the middle of that square._

_"You must go," a voice commanded into my ear, their hand tightening on my back. "Go, Irene."_

_I shook my head, meeting Clatia's clear blue gaze._

_"I-."_

_"Go."_

TLOTLOTLOTLO

As the familiar dream passed by, again, I marveled, this time in a good way, how much I had changed from that moment to who I was now.

The confidence, by far, had been the largest surge. Followed by an ability to lead and observe in an equally important manner.

In just one year, I had transformed into what I had always thought a Queen should have been. And only improved from the years on.

The sources of these changes are far too many to list properly. Clatia's words. Eramus's assurance. The council's uncertain, but decided trust. Interaction with what else actually lied outside our realm's walls.

And if I really wished to acknowledge it, the largest impact to my transformation was meeting the universe. A connection so unlike anything I had ever felt before, allowing me to see my vulnerabilities as strengths, my abnormal approaches as revolutionary, and the worlds around me in a way unlike I had ever seen them before.

Because if there was anything I had been sure of upon entering the title, it was that the realms had changed, even from the times that I had asked news of them.

In such an unlikely decision, I had come to discover things about myself that would probably have been buried within me for the rest of my life.

Only to have them destroyed.

A grumbled sigh fell out of me, and once again, I tossed over in bed.

And yet...somewhere inside me, a voice wonders, ever so softly and ever so quietly.

Perhaps this is not destruction, but rather _re_construction.

* * *

**Dilectus meus is translated from Latin to mean My lover in English. Plennus adulteri translates to idiotic bastards. Also, there is more to Irene than meets the eye. Such as her reluctance to the position as Queen before she was elected, and her life beforehand. If only we had someone who asked her about this...hmm. And I have hinted at what occurred the night before...but the question is...should I get more in depth into it? Who knows...well, I do. Let me know your thoughts in a review!**


	17. Confessions of a Broken Heart

**You know...it's been a while since I've truly been proud of a chapter. I mean a long while. This...well, I'm pretty happy with this chapter. Thank you for the reviews, as always! They are the reason this came up so fast. Enjoy.**

* * *

**Chapter 17 - Confessions of a Broken Heart**

Thor Odinson knocked on my door two days after I woke up naked in his bed.

During this time period, Clatia had gone out to get a coffee from a local Starbucks she was quickly becoming attached to, and I was simply relaxing on the couch, proud of myself for not having the urge to go to 'Eternity'. And watching something other than Maury.

In a slight daze, I opened the door, perhaps anticipating Jonathan, but instead, I got Thor. Blond, burly, and wearing blue jeans equipped with a plain white t-shirt and a manila jacket covering his form.

Normally, I don't pay so much detailed attention to a being's physique. It's all irrelevant if their personality is undesirable.

But sleeping with a God really allows you an inclusive opportunity to simply marvel at them.

"Thor," I greeted casually, offering him a smile. "What brings you here?"

Of course I already knew. Hell, the God had even warned me himself that a staged intervention would occur.

Still, I needed to hear his plans verbally. Maybe to make sure he was actually making the effort to help me. Or to feel a bit better about not being so alone.

"To talk," he confidently stated. "And fear not. Loki will not be joining us. This is a form of...ease I hope to give you. To assure you that our goals remain pure."

Nodding, I edged open the door, allowing him entry.

One minute later and we were sitting at the kitchen table, staring at each other from opposite ends.

"So how is this going to work then?" I asked, a smile in my voice.

Unfortunately, the smile was deceptive. Beneath it lay turmoil and disbelief that anything Thor had to say could alter such a shaky being as myself.

Apparently, the God was prepared for my despondent outlook on life.

"Do not think of this as a punishment. You pursued Loki and I with reason at a time where we fought it most. You deserve the same treatment. Is it truly so difficult for you to accept help?"

"It's not," I defended, not as confident in my words as I would have liked to be. "I suppose it's a habit. Three and a half years of being Queen and the only person you allow harm to is yourself. But you get hardened to it. You sweep it away for more important things."

Thor leaned back in the wooden chair, pondering my words.

"Now you have no more beings to make better," he mused. "Thus, you are forced to acknowledge how painful your past experiences really have been."

My mouth dropped open, astonished once again at how utterly insightful the blond could be.

"I don't know how you're so prophetic," I admitted, studying the man with a tranquil grin. "Tell me...what hair care product do you use?"

"What shines my hair would thin out yours," came his enigmatic response.

"Head and Shoulders?"

The blond let out a belly churning laugh, slamming his hand down on the table.

Just the boom of his vocal chords, sent shivers down my spine. And a part of me beamed at causing such amusement to thrive within him.

"A truly lowly product if one wants their hair to shine," Thor noted with an air of distaste.

"Well, what do you recommend, Fabio?"

Thor placed a hand underneath his chin, blue eyes scanning the ceiling.

"Nothing of this realm. The silicon bases from nearly every product, render the nutrients out of ones roots. Have you ever mixed Philipi pepper and Azbec ore?"

Now, it was my turn to chuckle.

"Azbec ore?" I repeated in disbelief. "Is that not a material normally common of your sister realm, Vanaheim?"

"Your point being?"

"It's for...female hair."

Thor only raised an eyebrow, the blue in his eyes daring me to say something. Which coincidentally only reinforced the beautiful blond streaking down to his shoulders.

I followed my advice and happily shut up with a sneaky grin.

"So far, this isn't too horrible," I mentioned. "And I haven't cried yet."

"You will not again," Thor suddenly proclaimed, voice lowering. "Although I believe part of your weeping two nights ago to be beverage induced, the very sight of it...garners great grief from me."

Blinking, I eased back my shoulders, attempting not to appear affected by the statement.

In reality, the thought really was quite sweet. The God wanted to do everything in his power to make sure I did not cry. Only a handful of kings I knew, if not even that many, could successfully admit this aloud.

"You shouldn't be here," I reprimanded, studying the man with cheek resting on my palm. "Your empathy and mercy is revolutionary. Especially in a king. You should be home, spreading your ideas and ruling your kingdom."

"My father is taking care of the kingdom quite well, along with my mother. They understand the urgency at which I wish to be here."

I bit my tongue on my next comment, and instead, redirected the topic to something a tad bit more lighthearted. Right now, I didn't feel like discussing my faults.

"Where did I wake up? The place was pretty nice, from what I could tell at least."

Clasping his hands, the God of Thunder smoothed out the previous intensity he'd been carrying in his features.

"I believe one may call it a penthouse. A place of stay the director of S.H.I.E.L.D. personally pays for. I used it when Midgard was at peace and I was searching for Loki."

"Has it ever seen such...recreational uses?"

"A few kisses here and there with Jane Foster," Thor admitted. "Otherwise, the area is relatively unused."

"Have you sanitized the blankets then?"

A confused frown marred Thor's lips.

"Not as of yet."

"Ew," I sniffed, shifting in my chair. "If you don't want the smell of sex to pour into every room of your apartment, I suggest you throw the blanket, sheets, and bedding in the washer and dryer immediately."

"I have grown accustomed to such raw scents," Thor assured proudly. "Besides, this washer and dryer you speak of...it knows not how to run on its own. The programmings are written in a language other than the ones I am aware of."

Unsure which comment amused me more, I glanced down at the table, running my fingers across the wood, trying not to smile.

"Well, nowadays, I'm told that with the ever increasing population of Latinos into this country, companies have taken to writing bilingual instructions. Tell me...did you flip the paper over?"

The blond opened his mouth, but closed it shortly after.

"I did not."

"Too fierce of a task for the God of Thunder?" I teased.

Thor merely threw me a dirty glare, perhaps more common on his brother than the blond himself. Nonetheless, it provided me with a sense of peace. And the belief that I could do no wrong nor say wrong, around the God.

"This is clever," I announced a minute later. "Just talking with me. Getting me comfortable so when the serious stuff comes up, I'll be blindsided."

"I assure you that this is not my intention," Thor explained. "I only want you to trust me. When you had helped me, you distanced yourself so you would not become overly fond or invested in me. I intend to do the opposite, and when ever it is you are ready to discuss your worries, I will be ready."

I nodded, unsure if he meant what he said. Or maybe I wasn't exactly inclined to believe it.

"Most of your words had been spoken two nights ago anyhow," Thor reminded. "And you may not remember them and may disregard them as mere gibberish, but I understood it to be yourself who spoke about the insecurities you battled when Queen, and when you were exiled."

Do I even want to know?

Relaxing, I closed my eyes, making sure there wasn't a current imbalance of a certain emotion. Thor was doing reasonably well, and I genuinely felt satisfied with his presence. No need to lash out at him for no reasons whatsoever.

Lest he deserved them, of course.

"What sort of insecurities did I speak of directly?" I asked, opening my eyes.

"Loneliness was the most common," the blond recalled. "You explained that even though a Queen was allowed to have a husband, none of the men in your realm interested you. You spoke of how you simply adopted the idea of never allowing yourself to love because it could never be as beautiful as you envisioned it. You spoke of how at odds you felt with everyone, ranging from your lonely childhood to your inability of allowing empathy to stay buried inside. If anything, Loki understood your insecurity to a degree I could not."

"What did he say?"

And not since the whole fiasco two nights ago, did I wish desperately I could remember what the hell actually happened in that diner.

"He did not say anything verbally. But I know my brother well, and with the admission, I believe him to have found a kindred spirit in you."

"Ah."

That was the only statement I voiced, uncomfortable with not only how much I had divulged to the two Gods, but how freely I had done so as well.

"Will you tell me about what happened when you and Loki returned to Asgard?" I inquired.

Thor understood my attempt at changing the subject, and obliged me.

Let's hope he doesn't think I'm bipolar.

"Father was pleased, as was mother. My friends, unfortunately, were not so easily convinced. For a period, an unspoken animosity existed between myself and the Warriors Three regarding my decision to stick by Loki's side. And he did not take kindly to their silent glares either."

"Did it feel like all of the progress was disappearing?"

"No," Thor argued softly. "What Loki and I had said upon Midgard, never left my mind. Rather than concede to such disapproval, I worked on improving our bond as brothers. Often, this would mean traveling out of the city, or perhaps dinners with just father and mother. Not all of these went without turbulence, but eventually, Loki's suspicions began to wear down."

"Not immediately," I assumed.

"No. With so many years of believing himself to be inferior, my brother spent a good portion of his time, alone. I know not what he thought of directly, but I hoped it to be beneficial."

"Your relationship looks a lot better," I praised. "And he seems...less hostile."

"You had witnessed him at his weakest," Thor pointed out. "By not exploiting such a moment, Loki came to trust you more than beings he's known his entire life."

"What happened on the roof isn't a thing to be ashamed of. It was beautiful."

"I agree, but I speak of a moment different than the one on the roof."

When Thor didn't continue, I raised my eyebrows.

But apparently, he hoped I would figure it out.

"The kiss in Jonathan's apartment?" I confirmed seconds later.

"Yes. Loki believed...perhaps a part of him still does, that such uncontainable passion is an assured death sentence. But he allowed his feelings to take over for the briefest of moments, and although you did not accept him as he expected, this being something I am proud of for he expected you to out of arrogance and ambition, he was relieved you did not mention the rejection again."

"Huh."

And the word is really quite frivolous, but I found that not many words really could categorize my continual discovery of the God of Mischief.

Mainly, I was surprised at knowing how wrong my assumptions of the God really were. At least most of them. The kiss had meant more to him than I realized.

"You want to go get some fresh air?" I blurted, suddenly itching to get out of the apartment.

"And here I believed this would be painful for you."

At his slight smirk, I rolled my eyes.

"Which brother inherited the arrogance and ambition again?"

TLOTLOTLOTLO

An hour later found Thor and myself sitting in 'Eternity'.

Initially, we had begun walking just for the sake of an escape, but without realizing it, my feet were directing me towards the haven. And despite Thor's comforting company, I still knew my guilt to be rumbling around inside me, becoming increasingly close to drowning my heart.

Thor didn't say anything as we entered the bar, but he did steer me away to a booth, something I personally had no problem with as I preferred to participate in a private conversation this afternoon.

"What may I get for you?" Thor asked, pulling out a wad of cash.

"I'll...get it myself," I promised, standing up.

But I didn't move when a thought struck me.

What if I get so intoxicated again that I repeat my mistake?

Cautiously, I seated myself, attempting to relax by leaning back.

"How is it that you are able to afford basic necessities?" Thor wondered.

Thankful for the distraction, I eased back in the booth.

"A system that the Queen is entitled to. In fact, I'm more amazed that it didn't disappear along with my title."

At his curious stare, I fiddled in my back pocket for a moment, before pulling out a coal black card, no bigger than a hotel room key.

I offered it to the blond and he took it with nimble fingers, observing the wordless, sleek surfaces.

"What does the material feel like to you?"

Thor lifted the card to his nostrils, risking a sniff before lowering it.

"Magic. And...a common smell to myself. Electricity."

"Sometimes, a Queen ventures to different realms," I explained, taking back the card. "If we are ever in need of basic necessities to survive, the card, which isn't actually a card but rather a blob-like, platinum glue called Oplethm, presents itself in a permissible token of currency. For example, I was once on Asgard and in order to appear like a city dweller, I needed proper garments. I presented this which took on the form of coins. Once the coins were gone, the Oplethm regenerated the magic it took and I was back to having an unlimited source of currency. Often, I do not use the Oplethm as the money I need is relatively low. And prior to my stay on Earth, the substance was not that of a card. However, as the months went by, the Oplethm took this shape because it recognized before I did, that my stay would be a bit more permanent."

Again, I displayed the object, rotating it.

"I can stick it into any ATM and it will connect to the energy fueling the machine."

"You are allowed to have as much money as you need," Thor finished.

"I'm not greedy. Only on the rent do I actually use the card. Otherwise, the money is just created for me at my fingertips."

Thor eyed the card appreciatively.

"Money is possible because of the particles and molecules and atoms in the universe," I reminded. "Those are the basis of life and structure. The amount I take is microscopic, if not even that, from around me."

"The money appears out of thin air," Thor confirmed.

"Literally," I agreed, sticking out my hand. "See my thumbnail? You and I can't personally see them, but the particles are there, moving about, colliding with each other, having a grand old time. If you take my thumb nail and divide it horizontally, then vertically, one-fourth of the area left is approximately how much money I have actually asked the universe to create."

"I did not think the universe spoke to you anymore."

"Oh no, it doesn't. But the magic in this Oplethm tunes into the energy that is the universe and allows the currency to form. Sometimes, I study the finished bills and realize that people war daily over atoms and molecules. Those are all that make up money or any form of possessions, when you get down to it. Then again, thinking that way ruins all of the fun for people."

When I forced my gaze off the card, I found Thor staring at me.

"What?" I laughed, pocketing the Oplethm.

"Your expansive knowledge of the universe...it is very desirable. I fear being born to open skies of galaxies and suns and moons, have kept me unjustly blind to how these miracles had gotten there."

"That is not your fault. Nature is not something you were expected to wonder about as a child. Your lifestyle was that of a warrior. There were...expectations."

"And what of your expectations?"

I paused, my knee under the table, twitching in place, ready to meander down to the bar area.

"They were rather...loose," I admitted slowly. "My mother raised me after my father died. A bit of a silly way to go, and now that I think of it, I must have inherited my clumsiness from him. He was setting up banners for the upcoming coronation of the next Queen. Slipped, and fell to his death in the town square."

Thor fixed his eyes on the crowd filing in, seemingly lost in his own thoughts.

"The area must have been difficult for you to stand in every five years."

"I avoided it, yes. And regarding the dissatisfaction with the Queens of my lifetime, I came to despise gathering in the square altogether. But it is required of every resident to attend, especially the females. I remember once, my mother told me of a friend of hers who found the standing around, entirely boring. Even for the few short minutes that the event takes place. It was in the middle of a yawn that she heard her name announced as the next Queen."

The blond let out a laugh at this, genuinely amused as he turned back my way.

"What kind of Queen was she?"

"Not horrible," I deduced with a grin. "There weren't very many treaties established underneath her and she only lasted one five year term. But she no longer had to stand in the city square anymore."

Pleased with the information, Thor took the time to lean back in the squishy booth, features content.

"You did not discuss what occurs at the square, very much. But I find the entire ceremony fascinating."

Fighting back a cringe, I answered, "If one was not picked to be Queen, there were no hard feelings. We just went back to our daily business. See, a Queen was not a monarch in our realm. She was a figure for hope and prosperity, and a martyr of peace. She did not rule, but rather observed her people. If any actual actions were taken, the Octavium were responsible, not she."

"What occurs after a Queen is chosen?"

I smiled, knowing the answer to be as clear as my understanding of Latin.

"A unanimous voice of approval was offered to the new Queen as she stood upon the balcony."

"In what manner?"

"We...sang a song meant to be an offer of protection and a form of...rejoice."

"Would you be against singing it?"

Surprised, I choked out a laugh, widening my eyes.

"In here? Please...the music will cancel it out in no time."

"I did not think they turned on the devices until later in the evening."

With a craned glance around the room, I knew he was right. At four o'clock in the afternoon, the bar was relatively sparse. The evenings attracted the more rowdy customers, and with them came the deafening noises of the night and the awakening dance section of the bar.

Just sitting in the booth, one could pick up on the clink of beer mugs, a near mute football game, and hushed conversations near the bar area.

Otherwise, the place was without sound.

"I have a horrid voice."

"So did our weekly troubadour. He once sang father into a sleep."

I grinned at the image, eyes flashing at the blond. But my amusement quickly turned to panic as I tried recalling how the song began. I had not sang it in so long, and the last time I had heard it, it did not register properly on account of the deep shock I was experiencing.

"It is sung in a different language," I finally spoke.

"The Latin you speak with my brother?"

"No, this is different. This language is...ancient, counting down billions of years ago."

Twiddling my thumbs, I placed both arms on the table and scooted forward in the booth.

"In my realm, we call it Lingua, or the First Language. It's not really-."

Pausing, I bit at my lip as my eyes traveled up, attempting to find the proper words to describe it.

"-it's not really singing, at least not entirely. It's more of a...humming. Based on the way the very first Queen learned to communicate with the universe."

Thor mirrored my scoot forward and set his hands down on the table as well.

"I wish to hear it."

"It's...silly."

But I did not look at the blond as I voiced this. Really, my fear at singing the song came at the longing I knew would follow after. That in turn would lead to me remembering why I was not in my realm in the first place.

"If it makes you uncomfortable, I do not want you to continue then."

And I really wanted to believe Thor meant that, but I knew that within the comforting words, there also layed a challenge. One that begged for me to continue, even though what followed after would be painful.

With a final sigh and a sullen inhale, I softly began :

_"Ahhmmm, ahhmmm. Hhmmhh, hhmmhh, hhmmhh, hhmmhh. Teli, vjo, ahhmmm."_

My voice cracked in the beginning, but with each consonant, I elongated the melody for five seconds, feeling the vibrations within my tummy through closed lips.

_"Asaaaaam, mmmmm, evo, asaaaam."_

I hesitated, feeling a quivering build up in my heart. There was no other word for it.

Desire.

_"Mmmm, mmmm. Talamei, talamei. Asaaaam, raaah."_

A moment later and my vocal chords died altogether, taking away the soft and soulful humming I'd presented.

"The entire square participates in this?" Thor questioned quietly, eyes trained on me.

It took me a moment to answer on account of swallowing past the pesky throb that seemed to dialate my heart to an unnatural width.

"Yes."

And when the tear drop slipped out, I payed it no attention.

"May I ask for a translation?"

Now, there was trepidation in Thor's words. As if he were afraid of how his next words would be taken.

"We bring, we bring. Chosen child, chosen child, chosen child, chosen child. Take, cherish, we bring her. Renegade creator, cherish thee, comfort, but watch. Cherish, cherish. Embrace, embrace. Renegade creator...love her," I broke off.

The next few minutes passed by without me truly acknowledging them. Or my surroundings.

Quite simply, I was frozen in a reverie, eyes closed, lips parted, and hearing through my very ears, the somber tune of my people.

Former people.

Does it truly matter? I grew up with them. I learned that peace was an alternative, always an alternative. My life was beautiful, despite the bouts of loneliness and childish frustration. It really was.

And that...that is not my fault. It is _not _my fault for feeling trapped around beings who submerged their given emotions because they were afraid of the consequences. It is not my fault for feeling frustration at a passive council or a lackluster choice of gentlemen.

We are given upon birth, a right to choose our destinies. Equipped with our choices come emotions, and if we truly were never meant to express ourselves through them, then they would have never been sown within the neurons of our brains.

But I did desert them. I disregarded my realm for the happenings of two feuding Gods.

Is this the payback from the universe? Deserting me in return?

Somehow, I could not believe this.

I will not believe this. The universe does not simply desert a Queen in the middle of her term, yet still allow the usage of its abilities.

It wants something from me.

Shaking my head, I gripped on to my knee, perplexed at the pristine idea.

"Is everything alright?"

Blinking, I shot my gaze to Thor's uncertain lean back into the seat.

"Yes...I'm fine. Thanks for asking. I think, though, that I want to go home."

Thor didn't ask which home I was referring to, and I couldn't say the one on my mind anyway, not without experiencing the full effects of such grand sorrow.

But there was a plus side to going to the bar.

"You do realize that all the women are eying you like you're a piece of meat, right?" I whispered to Thor as we managed our way out of the sit down section.

And my words were true. Women were watching Thor rather appreciatively, eyes narrowed into animal-like possession. If you listened closer, you could hear their lustful growls from in between gritted teeth.

Thor released a thunderous laugh at this, causing some of the women to look away for fear of being caught looking.

Then, the blond suddenly threw out his arm, wrapped it around my shoulders and pulled me into him, the very act nothing but one of affection.

Which I couldn't seem to convince my cheeks.

"I did not even notice," came his mumbled reply into my ear as we stepped into the bitter, November day.

TLOTLOTLOTLO

"I promise you he didn't touch me!"

Clatia crossed her arms, eyes scanning me from head to toe.

"You are human now. He could have-."

"Clatia!" I yelled, unable to find her suspicion anything but ridiculous. "Thor and I talked. Then, we went to the bar and talked some more. Then, he walked me home and we talked briefly about what would happen tomorrow."

"Tomorrow?" she questioned with a lifted eyebrow.

"Thor and Loki prefer to help me in their separate periods of time," I explained. "This is supposed to assure me that they won't try what they did two nights ago. Tomorrow, it's Loki's turn."

"Dear me," she muttered, throwing a fearful search around the apartment, "will our insurance cover it?"

"Cover what?"

"Loki."

I thought for a moment, placing one finger underneath my chin.

"I do not think there is an insurance plan dedicated to the God of Mischief."

"Well," Clatia replied nervously, "there should be."

Shrugging, I offered a nod in agreement.

"I'll be fine. Being around Thor helped today."

"Loki isn't Thor. You say something to piss him off and the universe won't be able to heal you up."

Exhaling, I crossed my arms and threw on a content smile.

"Then let's hope the God isn't feeling sensitive tomorrow."

TLOTLOTLOTLO

Later in the night, I was having a difficult time trying to get to sleep. Back and forth I traveled, body further becoming entangled in the sheets until I became so frustrated that I grabbed on to a pillow and whipped it across the room.

I assure you I have the greatest of respects for pillows.

But tonight, the consequences of broadcasting our realm's song to Thor, reached me, and I felt something beyond melancholy.

So, I stumbled through the darkness, flipped on the light, ventured to the kitchen and opened up a cabinet.

My hand reached for the bottle on instinct, even without looking.

Which made it that more of a surprise when my palm met nothing but a wooden bottom.

"What the-?"

Squinting, I peered inside the cabinet, hand patting down each corner.

But my eyes were not deceiving me. The bottle of vodka was gone.

Backing away a few feet, I calmed myself down.

"Bathroom."

And before I thought about where the bottle had gone to, my feet were leading me to the space.

Once inside, I dropped to my knees, opened the drawers underneath the sink and looked inside.

"Filius a canis," I mumbled, hands parting the cleaning supplies.

The emergency bottle I had previously kept in a corner?

Gone.

With a jerk, I stumbled up to my feet and sprinted into my bedroom.

Still attempting to keep my breaths calm, I lowered myself by the bed and glanced underneath.

Instead of another bottle, there lay a note. Written perhaps on lined paper, folded in half.

Swallowing thickly, my hand slowly picked the paper up.

Clatia's?

Forgetting to contain my panic, I allowed a frown to fill my features, eyes wide and worried as my fingers unwrapped the note.

Seconds later, I forced the fleshy base of my palm into my hand and bit down an enraged scream.

**I only find it fair that since you took away what it is that prevented me from seeing reason, I am able to return the same gesture. This is only for the best, of course, **_darling_**. I eagerly await your presence tomorrow.**

**Truly Yours In ****Every**** Way,**

**Loki**

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**Lol. Let me know your thoughts in a review?**


	18. Catch Me If You Can

**Yep, it's been a while. But like I said, the chapters will come. Just keep on checking your e-mail. Otherwise, I want to give a special thanks to everyone who reviewed the last chapter. It warms my heart to know what everyone is thinking. And many of you are still unsure about the whole Loki/Irene/Thor thing, some saying they only want Loki/Irene. Which is understandable. But in this fandom, Thor is the minority character. Very little pairings are given to him. And I wanted to make him a bit more likeable and give him someone he could relate to, even though it was Loki I connected with in the movie. Now that I have, I feel at odds about simply tossing him aside so that this can be an Irene/Loki thing. I have decided how the pairings will be in the end, and I only hope you guys can get used to the three of them being around each other. I'm not saying anything else cause then they'll be spoilers, but I must say that if it's really so difficult to imagine this, watch the movie The Brothers Grimm. At the very end, the chick got both Matt Damon and Heath Ledger. Who were brothers, and both agreed to share her. Although I don't wish to make this story so...forward, I am flirting with this idea. Anywho, I hope you enjoy this! **

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**Chapter 18 - Catch Me If You Can**

"So...Jonathan told me there's a new tenant moving in sometime tonight. At the very east end of our floor, if I heard correctly."

When I didn't answer, Clatia cleared her throat.

"Did I do something wrong?"

Easing the pressure I kept my knee contained in, I examined her with a relaxed smile. Forced, but relaxed.

"Clatia, you have done everything right. Don't worry about my silence. I'm just...anticipating my meeting is all."

Which wasn't a complete lie, but not the whole truth either. Trouble was, I couldn't determine whether I wanted to strangle the God of Mischief, or shake his hand for his cleverness.

I did do the same to him. And now I can't help but marvel at the level of restraint he showed by not killing me.

Remarkable, really.

Unfortunately, my emotions did not deem Loki so resourceful. In fact, they were craving numbness and at the current moment, I was helpless to provide such a request. Especially since I didn't want to desert Clatia because I wanted to get a quick fix.

She certainly isn't taking to gulping away her sorrows.

"Clatia...how is it you manage to stay so clear headed and uncompromisable about being exiled along with me? You loved our realm just as much as I did."

And the words weren't meant to stir up painful memories, but rather quench my curiosity. Perhaps some sort of method Clatia used, could help neutralize my own pain and help me return to the person I was before.

But that's the problem. I will never be that person. Because even in my own way then, I still tried so desperately to contain the emotions I was born with. So worried about upsetting my realm through my actions. That person I was, I think has had their run, but can never fully come back again.

"I find little things to occupy the hurt. Healthy things. It was your doing, really," she explained, standing up from a chair. "Taking me out, showing me this planet. I can see why you stayed here for so long. In ways home never was, this place allows freedoms I never thought were possible."

And she voiced this last part a bit sadly, one hand resting on her chest.

"You just need to rediscover what it means to live. And the more I thought about it over the night, the more I think I agree. What Thor and Loki are doing is the perfect solution."

At my incredulous stare, she shrugged good naturedly.

"It's been awhile since I've seen you so animated. Tell me, what did Loki end up doing?"

Confused, I mirrored her rise to the feet with a tilt of the head.

"Ah...so I should probably explain. Loki approached me outside of Starbucks," she informed. "Asked, a bit rudely if I may add, whether he had permission to enter our apartment. He said he planned on rearranging a few things so that it put a spark of life back into you. Tell me...what did he do?"

I successfully managed to fight back my outrage with another relaxed smile.

Really, I was a master of them by now.

"He took away all of the bottles I had."

"Oh," Clatia relayed, biting at her lip. "Well...you have to give him points for creativity."

"That's the scary part," I agreed. "I am."

Just as she was ready to speak again, there was a firm knock against the door.

We both turned, and I don't know why I felt like someone had just released a cage full of butterflies in the pit of my stomach, but that is exactly the feeling that consumed me.

Which isn't normal, mind you. Releasing butterflies that is. How would one even go about getting the butterflies inside a being?

The knocking abruptly ended, but soon after, a voice carried through.

"Do not think staying silent will allow you asylum. I have permission to enter."

Clatia scowled at Loki's proclamation, most likely agitated that he had extended her okay from yesterday, into today.

Before either of us could exchange our thoughts, the God materialized before us, bearing an all too knowing smirk.

"Get out," Clatia exclaimed right away, narrowing her eyes at the man.

Meeting my gaze, Loki raised his eyebrows playfully.

"How do either of you intend to make me?"

Bold statement, that was.

"Just because we're not on our realm anymore, doesn't mean-."

Loki cut off Clatia's indignation with an annoyed wave of the hand.

"I am only referring to the fact that I am a male. I have a considerable advantage over you."

Now, it was my turn to raise my eyebrows.

"You may have the advantage physically," I pointed out, giving his human attired form of a white t-shirt and black pants, a casual glance, "but mentally you are as capable as a chicken with its head cut off."

Clatia bit back a chuckle at this by covering her mouth, but she needn't have worried. Loki's glare was directed at me like my own personal UV ray.

"Now those are not kind words to greet your lover with," he chided silkily.

My friend's form immediately stilled, but I merely crossed my arms and made a visual point to quickly scan the room with a confused frown.

"Let me know where he is and I will apologize," I challenged.

Loki, to my surprise, let out a laugh, which was then followed by a step forward.

"If you knew how primal you were," he recalled, "how passionate and untamed...you would then realize why my brother and I are the only beings in all of the realms fully equipped to meet your needs. To say they are exotic would be an understatement. Your sexuality is brazen...as is your flexibility."

The suggestive comments successfully managed to wipe away all clever retorts as a blush covered my cheeks.

"I think I'm going to go," Clatia remarked, sensing the growing tension in the room.

"Don't you dare," I panicked, throwing her a helpless glance.

"Yes, please do," Loki demanded, throwing her a spiteful glare.

She almost didn't, only because to do so would signify defeat before the God of Mischief. And it took me a quick second to realize how much the duo loved winding the other up, just to see what would happen once they hit their boiling point.

But eventually, she only threw Loki a withering scowl before retreating from the room, mumbling about arrogant Gods.

"You don't have to wind her up like that," I reprimanded, observing the God with the slightest of unease.

Loki feigned innocence, widened his eyes, and crossed his arms sheepishly. All at the same time. Which I tried to get through my head was NOT adorable.

"She started it," he defended.

The look alone made some sort of fierce barrier I had built up in me, crumble. It was like witnessing a child running out of options or excuses, and instead, turning to the weakest form of justification.

"Well...let's get out of here and give her time to blow off some steam."

When I passed his form on my way to the door, I felt a tug on my elbow, pausing me in place.

Turning back, I studied Loki curiously, far more at ease around him than I probably should have been. But whether I liked it or not, I was beginning to trust him. At least in my own way.

"Tell me...did my brother attempt any form of-."

But he cut himself off, watching me expectantly with eyes far more calculating than they'd been minutes ago.

"Talking?" I suggested, knowing I was being difficult. "Why yes, he did Loki. And let me tell you...he is a fantastic talker."

Loki actually rolled his eyes, releasing me from his grip.

"Would it not be simpler to give in? You have the devotion of two eternal beings. Tell me what could rival that."

I purposely took the time to ponder the question, amused when Loki's jaw clenched.

"Maybe being alive in a year," I suggested. "Or not utterly heartbroken?"

"Your fears are misguided," the God argued. "Spoken only out of a forced loneliness you surround yourself in. I do hate to break the news to you, but you are no longer Queen. Such dismissal toward your passions are not necessary. And now you berate yourself for enjoying what it is you participated in. For a woman who showcased such flawless logic upon our first meetings, you are very much lacking it at the moment."

"Why? Because I'm not off having sex with two Gods?" I argued, insulted at the implication. "Yes, please show me that I'm illogical for such a blasphemous belief. Seriously, Loki, are you even considering all the reasons why I am not pursuing this? It is a disaster waiting to happen, and the smartest, most LOGICAL thing I am doing is sheltering myself from it before it begins. Because I know what happens when I let myself be so vulnerable, just to have it all shoved back into my face. I turn to a passionless, cynical version of myself who takes to hitting the bottle just so that her emotions don't drown her every night. Why would you even begin helping me when you know that your actions would bring me right back to that place?"

Loki didn't answer right away, but his anger did vanish. Like an invisible vaccuum simply sucked it all away.

Instead, his next words were spoken lightly, but the meaning behind them wasn't meant to be lost.

"I have experienced being the hostage of such a place, but rather than a bottle, I chose violence. And for a short period of time, I thoroughly enjoyed myself. I did not have to acknowledge the real reason behind my aggressions and deceit. But at this moment, Thor is doing all he can to help me shy away from that place that I know now is not something I enjoyed being in. Tell me...why should I trust him? Why should I think he is only doing this, just to let me down again and shun me out?"

I didn't even hesitate before responding.

"He loves you. He wouldn't ever do that to you."

And the comprehension in my voice was subtle, but I knew eventually, that is what Loki wanted me to understand.

"Why is it so difficult to believe we are doing this out of the same reason?" the God questioned.

When I didn't answer, Loki slid out of his stiffened posture and glanced at the door.

"If it would ease your mind, I will not pursue this topic. For now. But know that you cannot run forever from destiny. A destiny which very much intends to grant you the happiness you find yourself undeserving of."

I only answered with a nod. But deep down, I couldn't help but wonder how the hell not only Thor, but Loki himself, had come to know me so well. Even the root of my fears.

Because Loki very much had a point. I was no longer Queen, but I still acted as if I needed to push away all potential happiness because I didn't deserve it.

And I don't deserve it because I feel like I let down my entire realm with my actions.

Funny how emotional blackmail works, huh? Especially when you're the only participant.

"Do you want to watch some TV?" I offered, suddenly not up to exposing myself to the world.

The grimace Loki showcased only brightened my mood.

"It'll be fun," I promised. "Yesterday, Thor got me out. Today, I feel like staying in. This will help make me feel better."

His slow, reluctant nod was my only answer.

TLOTLOTLOTLO

Although both Gods had made a habit to explain that they were devoted to me, I didn't quite understand the level of that devotion until an hour later when I was somehow snuggled into Loki's side, his arm wrapped around my shoulder, pulling me tighter any time I attempted to scoot away, which sadly, was becoming something I wasn't particularly fond of doing, on the sofa, watching Maury.

At first, we had an entire sofa cushion separating us and my channel surfing was done idly, something to simply pass the time. Loki sat patiently, but I could feel the strength of some of his stares every now and again.

As soon as I turned on to the talk show host's show, I heard an audible grumble flee from Loki and his outward annoyance kept me from turning the channel.

In only an hour, we watched a drama unfold about a woman who was born dead, was miraculously revived, but had a difficult time all her life getting an education and a man's attention. Apparently she was pregnant, and convinced that her ex-boyfriend was the father. The trouble was that she had been sleeping around with different men at this time period, and the claimed father of the child, firmly denied his paternity.

Only when Maury finally announced that the results were in, did I finally spit out the thumb I had been gnawing on, detach my eyes from the screen, and note that Loki had moved an entire couch cushion over, positioning himself right beside me.

He met my suspicious calculation with a blank expression before returning his green gaze to the television.

"I now understand why it is I find you intellectually...slow. This is the entertainment you use to pass the time?"

Stuck in between wanting to defend the show and defend myself, I only crossed my arms and fell back into the sofa with a sigh.

"Do you think he's the baby daddy?" I asked, hoping the God would simply fall into the absurdity for the time being.

"He is not," Loki confirmed proudly. "It is obvious the woman does not know who the father is. The poor male is on the show only because it is most likely the last man this woman remembers copulating with."

Raising a brow, I couldn't stop the smile spreading over me, and without witnessing it, I knew Loki's attention was back to the television.

Seconds later and I offered the God of Mischief a congratulatory shake of the hand.

"The God of lies knowing the results of a paternity test even before Maury does. Impressive," I praised, throwing him a sly grin. "Should we go for two in a row?"

The challenge laid dormant in my voice, and Loki knew me well enough by now to pick up the faint traces of it.

With a casual stretch, the man set his arm over my shoulder and leaned into my ear.

"What do I get if I am correct again?"

Forcing myself to keep my gaze aimed ahead, even with the way Loki's tone seemed to drop seventy thousand octaves, I pursed my lips.

"The knowledge of knowing you're right," I evenly quipped.

Loki's arm tightened around my shoulder for a second.

"You are implying that this will satisfy me?"

Exhaling tiredly, I met the God's green eyes with my confident brown. The proximity was already at work, keeping my heart beat bouncing like a basketball.

"There are few beings you love other than yourself," I pointed out. "Considering I've been denying you what you've wanted for an unbelievably long time now, I'm quite sure your ego really needs the boost."

The God's eyes focused themselves on my lips, and for a moment, I made no attempt at wetting them, even as the continued contact made them dryer.

"How considerate, my lovely Irene," he murmured.

And I'll be damned if he didn't know just exactly what the nearness meant for my cheeks.

Yep. They erupted into a wildfire.

With a quick twirl, I forcibly drowned myself into the next episode, determined to disconnect the very obvious flirtations Loki was displaying.

On one hand, the gestures were gratifying and deliciously sinful to feel.

On the other, I wasn't sure if I was ready to reciprocate Loki's actions. Which made me wish the God possessed Thor's restraint. At least to where I could properly unscramble my mind from the opposing emotions channeling through me.

Thankfully, Loki's attention was reeled in by Maury's next couple.

Unfortunately, the following few minutes were where a majority of the scooting away, and then pulling back, followed by a particularly candid tug that had me forced into an awkward cuddle with the side of Loki's body, occurred.

Neither of us acknowledged the silent battle of wills, and I couldn't say I didn't enjoy the gestures. They made me feel wanted. A sensation so foreign that I couldn't help but close my eyes a few times and just revel in the peaceful nearness.

But logical me, kicked at the tranquility I was experiencing, and forced my body into movement. Which was deftly prevented by Loki's arm. It was literally like a steel band, able to detect my movements even before I engaged in them, and successfully reeling me in without the slightest of falters.

By the time Maury was handed the results of the paternity test, my hips were digging into Loki's own, while my torso was attempting to leave his embrace altogether.

"He is not the father," Loki suddenly exclaimed, eyes focused on the television. "But he is cheating on the woman with the woman's sister."

Twenty seconds later and the stage was in chaos as the woman began to beat her sister viciously, while her former boyfriend looked on in the expression of 'ooh, did I do that?'.

"Two out of two," I praised. "Too bad this is the last episode."

"Then I suppose we will have to find something else to occupy our time."

Stiffening, I shut my eyes. It was a reaction I did to protect myself from indulging into something mindlessly. And reciprocating the implication of Loki's words, held a whole lot of mindless possibility.

After a few tense seconds of this, Loki released a deep sigh before removing his arm from around me and placing it back in his lap.

With the release, I cautiously peeked at him.

For a moment, we simply stared at each other. And I couldn't determine what was going through Loki's thoughts, but I felt out of all things, disappointed. It seemed like I was letting him down by not responding sexually to him.

It's not like my body wasn't craving it. In fact, it was becoming quite scary how naturally my body responded to the God's.

But mentally and emotionally, I was in ruin. Diving into sex with Loki, especially when I was craving a substance to rid myself of the pesky emotions ready to confront me, was unwise. Not only because I would be using him in a way, but because I recognized that he deserved better when displaying nothing but himself to me.

"I-."

That was all that would come out. And apparently, this gave Loki some sort of green light.

In seconds, the God was on me, kissing me hungrily with both hands secured firmly around my lower back. How he had managed to cover the distance so quickly, wasn't my main concern as I let out a far from conservative moan into his mouth and grasped on to his shoulders.

The kissing was exciting, and intense, but above all, it was surprising. It was...vulnerable, if a kiss could be called such.

Loki was dominating at first, swiping his tongue fluently every time I tried to gain the upper hand. But ever so languidly, the man slowed his possessive touch and instead, tilted his head, allowing me better access to simply taste him in a way I would have never thought possible.

He tasted unfathomably exotic. Which I attributed to Asgardian foods and magic. But the taste was more than that. Perhaps because I could practically taste just exactly what emotions were fueling the lustful kiss.

I moved my mouth around his and gradually fell back into the sofa as his weight tried not to crush mine. Through this all, I could only feel one emotion properly presenting itself without moderation. Because Loki felt comfortable around me to display it.

Love.

Pulling away suddenly, I strained my head up, unable to deal with the simultaneous tingles erupting inside me, but in reply, Loki's soft lips sank right into my neck, forcing me to release an exhale beginning at the very tips of my toes.

The God didn't move from his position for a moment, even though it was probably quite uncomfortable for him. He was positioned in an awkward sprawl over me, with his butt still seated on the sofa cushion. And despite the intensity of the moment, I couldn't help but compare his weight atop me to a mammal on Animal Planet.

Clatia and I had a strange fascination with watching the animal kingdom at work. It reminded us of humanity. Or I suppose ourselves now.

Anywho, the mammal, after its tumble around in the wild with his female, covers the female's form partially to warn others who potentially want to mate with the female, that she is no longer available.

And the longer I thought about this, the more difficult it was to contain the bubbling rising in my throat.

Loki the Lion. Roaaaaaaaaaar!

Before I could help it, a boisterous laugh fled out of me, shaking my body from hip to chest as I shut my eyes in the senseless mirth.

I didn't detect the confusion settling inside Loki, or the way he slowly raised himself up to peer at me. Instead, I was caught in the silliest of thoughts regarding Loki's ancestry. Perhaps he was not actually a Frost Giant after all. Perhaps he was...lion.

Another bout of the giggles filled me and I began rolling around in semi circles, unable to stop the redness from pressing into my cheeks.

Only when I felt a cold hand come in contact with my forehead, did I finally find the will to open my eyes and silence the amusement rattling my bones.

Loki watched me warily, the green in his eyes reaching a capacity of such intensity that I was surprised I didn't suddenly burst into flames.

"Well," I finally voiced, snuggling into the sofa behind me, "that was fun!"

The God only tilted his head, but he did remove his hand from my head.

"Our reactions to what we find fun, are unusually similar," he noted curiously.

"What can I say? You're a passionate kisser," I breathed out, chest still rising and falling, a combination of residual humor and vibrant attraction still lingering.

"I satisfied you?" he inquired.

But I wasn't fooled. There was a smirk behind the innocent expression.

"I'm pretty sure my answer will only inflate your ego," I mumbled worriedly, studying the God with a lopsided grin.

Loki narrowed his eyes, but the expression wasn't one of anger. Only thought.

"Well...I do have a rather large...ego. One that you would be surprised to find only grows larger in your presence," he smoothly informed.

Feeling the familiar flush of red consume me, I couldn't help but release a swallowed laugh. Not an attractive sound, by the way.

"Something tells me we're not talking about egos anymore."

"You did begin it," he pointed out.

"I suppose I did."

And out of nowhere, a comfortable silence passed, allowing us to simply bathe without words, in each other's presence.

Those turbulent emotions that I feared would burst through me since I'd been without a drink for so long, were oddly out of place. Missing, for that matter.

For once, I wasn't feeling sorry for my actions. At least not today.

"I often believed coming to humiliate Thor on the day the Allfather would make him king, was the event I had to show the most restraint for. But now...now, I am certain you outweigh this," Loki revealed.

The words were like a hand grenade tossed inside me. Their impact, excuse the pun, was explosive.

"Right now," I admitted, "I can't do whatever this is. With either you or Thor. I'm just...lost. And confused."

"I have eternity," the God responded.

"I don't."

And out of nowhere, a sobriety filled the room, tossing out all the happiness that once resided.

"Not anymore," I voiced. "It's strange. Being alive for so long, having seen so much, the birth of planets and stars, the death of languages and species. And now...I've just stopped. I have a certain death date. Maybe not today, or tomorrow, but it is coming. In my realm...I never worried about this. We were limitless. Perhaps a bit too arrogantly assured that death would not take us so quickly. We had the universe to shelter us. Now...it's different."

Loki didn't say anything, but he did lift himself off of me, going to sit back in the position he'd been in previously.

Unsure what the gesture met, I followed the action with a cautious lean back.

"Thor and I often forget your sudden...frailty," Loki finally spoke, peering at his knees. "Upon first meeting you, I am sure we both recognized how ancient you were. That you had existed to see many wars ignite, races come and go. I do not know how long you will live, but is that not another incentive to take what you have while you still have it?"

Again, I refused to answer, and this time, the look Loki gave me, nearly froze all of the blood in my veins.

He's hurt. That I'm not trusting him. That I don't love him back. That I'm not returning his affections.

"My brother reaches a part of you I never will," Loki observed, voice considerably cooler than it had been before. In fact, it seemed as if all of the amusement we had been encased in, vanished without a trace.

"And you reach a part of me that Thor never will," I argued, studying him meaningfully.

At his uconvinced gaze, I explained.

"It's true. I connected with Thor based on our positions. But you connect with me based on where you once were in life, and where I am currently. Thor is King of Asgard, and I will always be understanding of his position, and he of mine. But you suffered greatly as a child, something Thor couldn't possibly understand, and not because he does not wish to. Throughout moments of my life, I suffered just as well. Do not think I see one of you better or more sustainable than the other. I may have been drunk, but there is a reason why I took both of you to bed. It is because you both mean the same to me in the end."

Loki's incredulity lessened, but I continued staring at him until the jealousy began to wither away.

"A being who speaks such wisdom, and yet cannot stand to follow her own," Loki mused. "If it is any consolation, you did not have us both at the same time."

Freezing, I mumbled, "What?"

"The night you participated in the most pleasurable love making of your life. You and Thor preoccupied the bed first, and when he was finished, you pulled me on next. The only reason the three of us awoke in the same bed together was because Thor and I nearly began battling over who would share the bed with you."

"And I...suggested we all slumber together?" I disbelievingly squeaked.

"Come now, must you always speak as if it were the worst experience of your life?" Loki chided. "The words you spoke, they were in a language even I could not understand. Something I am proud of having made you accomplish. I quite enjoyed it when you also dug your finger nails into my back and bit down in between my-."

"Stop!"

The God only threw me a dirty look. And with it, I realized he held a sort of power over me.

The ability to remember what happened that night.

"I doubt you even did most of the things you say you did," I countered.

Slowly but surely, Loki's grin morphed into that of a predator's.

"I really do not find it wise that you continue to tempt me. Especially when your taste is still on my tongue."

This shut me up altogether.

"I think we're done for today."

But this wasn't voiced out of frustration. Well, actually, it kind of was. Just not the type that made me angry at Loki.

"Well, I thank you for giving me something I may hold over my dear brother's head. Such a warrior has an insatiably jealous heart when it comes to those he cares about," Loki replied, standing up.

I watched his amused features with a slow shake of the head.

"But I should not judge him for this," the God continued, seemingly in a trance. "My own jealousy is nearly as black as my anger. Which bears the reminder."

He turned to me, face suddenly serious.

At this point, I was simply riding the roller coaster that was the God of Mischief. He has a successful ability to begin at point A, and end at point B. While in the middle, his words and actions took you all over the place.

Right now, I was helpless to only listen, feeling like a, well, for lack of a better word, neutured dog. Not sexually, just emotionally. Which is strange to say. But accurate, considering everything Loki has said so far.

"When I proclaimed you ours, I did not jest," the God solemnly stated. "You. Are. Ours."

Slowly raising my eyebrows, I let in the grin tugging away at my lips.

"No," I responded. "I. Am. Mine."

At the narrowing of his eyes, my smile became blinding.

"So. Get. In. Line."

Loki laughed again, his voice actually quite melodious when not blanketed by insanity.

"I am not a particular fan of waiting in line," he admitted.

"You could always have Thor hold your spot," I offered, unsure why I was indulging him, especially when I was the one so adamantly against involving myself with them.

"Never."

And on these words, Loki departed, throwing me a final scrutinous stare that forced me to glance away, alarmed at how much heat the man could pack just into one look.

The door slid close soon after, and for the life of me, I couldn't remove the smile from my lips for the entire day.

TLOTLOTLOTLO

Nine o'clock at night found me lazing in bed, finishing the last pages of Elizabeth Kostova's _The Historian. _If there was anything I was sure of, it was society's obsession with the vampire. A being who restrained the urge to suck out all of your blood and eventually murder you, was for some reason or other, the poster boy for eternal love and happiness.

There are some customs of Earth I simply can not understand. Especially since I knew of a race from Muspelheim, known simply as the Rutinas. They slumbered in caves during the day, hunted for other demons at night, but only sucked the blood, which was nutrience for them, before disposing the body.

However, I am quite sure that the Rutinas would hardly gain the appreciation here for their actions, as opposed to someone like Dracula. Who apparently had fan clubs dedicated to him. How odd is that?

Despite all of this, I genuinely enjoyed what I had read so far. It was one of the few vampire novels where the characters did not annoy the logical part of my brain.

Then again, I sometimes annoyed the logical part of my brain.

Just before the last page was turned, Clatia poked her head into my room.

"Hey," I acknowledged, setting the book down. "What's up?"

The woman didn't even scoff at the words anymore. She recognized them to be typical Earth lingo.

"Jonathan is going to meet the new neighbor. Welcome them to the floor and all. I'm trailing along. Want to come?"

There was an excitement in her voice that I wasn't sure if even she could detect.

"That eager about meeting the new neighbor?" I wondered, disentangling myself from beneath the sheets.

To my amazement, Clatia blushed. Something I had previously thought her to be physically incapable of.

"I like meeting new people," she defended. "Plus, Jonathan wants to visit with you. He hasn't seen you around much."

"Alright, alright," I caved, moving to my feet. "Should we have made something?"

Clatia actually crossed her arms, forehead scrunched up in thought.

"That is the nice thing to do," she agreed.

"Maybe we'll bake them a pie," I offered. "Humans have a delirious addiction to pie."

"Pie is nice. And if they end up being a rude tenant, we can throw it in their face."

"I'm so glad we have a back up plan," I grinned, thrilled to see my friend so...glowing. There really is no other word for it.

Seconds later and we met Jonathan outside my front door.

Immediately, my eyes strayed to the area Loki had hung out in after attempting to enter my apartment. Clatia met my concentrated gaze with an amused one of her own.

The area now had been successfully filled in, most likely Mrs. Pendergrass's doing. But the image of Loki trapped in the wall, knocked out, will forever be engraved in my mind.

"How have you been, Lucy?" Jonathan asked. "I haven't seen you in awhile."

"I've been...alright. Clatia makes sure my life goes on," I answered happily.

Clatia threw a shy grin at Jonathan, and the man ate it up, his eyes focused on her with an admiring tilt of the head.

When the shared look lasted a second longer than normal, I finally understood Clatia's eagerness. And why she always seemed to be bumping into Jonathan. Or talking for long periods of time with him.

But being the good friend I was, I kept my comments to myself, knowing that calling her out would only embarrass her.

The three of us began a paced stroll, passing the two other tenants on our floor. One man I only knew by Harold, never made his presence known to us. Jonathan and I had simply called him 'Mysterious Harold'. Another woman, Susan, was a fitness nut and I saw her outside the apartments far more often than I did inside.

And at the very end of the carpeted hallway, a door sat ajar, brown boxes stacked in the entryway.

"I'm quite sure Mrs. Pendergrass said it was a female," Jonathan observed, peering through his glasses at the black letters on one box labeled 'FRAGILE'.

Inside the apartment, we heard the squeal of furniture being moved against the floor. And then a familiar voice follow.

"You best not be part of a cult with that robe you have there. I have zero tolerance for cult members."

Seconds later and our favorite landlady came stumbling out, having to hop over one of the boxes just so she could leave the premises.

The woman's eyes scurried over us all at once, but she refrained from pinching up her features.

"How lovely it is for you to welcome her, Jonathan. I could have never asked for such a polite tenant."

And with that, she dipped her head down and continued on her way, saying nothing to either myself or Clatia.

Jonathan turned to us, but we only gave him a pointed stare.

"What can I say? She loves me," the man defended.

Our attention was severed when the patter of feet against floor, approached the hallway.

A moment later and a woman maneuvered herself out of the apartment, hand ready to grab on to another box. But she noticed our presence, and instead, lifted her head to take us in through a few, stray, red strands that had gotten in her way.

I can't recall exactly what Jonathan said to her, but I know that Clatia and my reactions, were unaminously exact.

Shock. Confusion. Elation. All in one go.

"Queen Ingrid?" we voiced together in unabashed amazement.

The woman immediately beamed, crossing her arms and leaning back on the doorway.

"You two know her?" came Jonathan's puzzled retort.

Without meaning to, we both shrugged the man off, eyes glued to the woman ahead of us.

"Former Queen," she corrected, her voice coming out just as clear as it had when she had held the position.

"What are you doing here?" Clatia demanded, seconds before I was able to spring the question from my own lips.

"I live here," she responded simply.

"Since when?" I asked.

The woman, perhaps for the first time, finally noticed Jonathan. Deciding on something internally, Queen Ingrid, or I suppose she was a former Queen now, switched over to Latin.

"Since I decided to leave our realm."

Just when I thought I couldn't be shocked again, the woman managed to do it. And she knew very well that the information was gracious, because she only kept on grinning the longer the bafflement remained on our expressions.

"Why would you do that?" Clatia accused. "Surely you were in the square, awaiting word that Irene had been exiled."

For the first time ever, I witnessed the woman frown. And seeing this was quite ghastly.

In fact, I almost wondered if she had some Zaabaj ancestry somewhere along the line.

"I was not," she steely answered. "How could you even come to believe I would support such a ridiculous mutiny? No, I am here because our realm, in my opinion at least, has become unfit to live in. And following you here was my own little demonstration of what exactly I thought of Mettelicius's agenda."

"Thank you," I said, feeling my insides stir with incomprehensible compassion for the woman.

Her features softened at this.

"I cannot mention in proper words what it is you have meant to our realm. It truly is not the same without you, nor are the realm's around us," Ingrid remarked.

"Surely the current Queen is coming along nicely," Clatia noted, refusing to let go of the matter.

Something caught between a grimace and smile, illuminated Ingrid's features.

"My, the octavium truly have made it so you two are not aware of what is going on," she mused. And then, a laugh escaped her, the specs of orange floating in the sea of green in her eyes, twinkling.

"What does that mean?" I said hurriedly, unable to calm the rapid beat of my heart.

"You mean you really don't know?" she marveled, shaking her head.

And then she laughed again, eyes absolutely glowing now.

Only when she witnessed the desperation inside me, did she finally pause in her laughter.

"Irene, dear...there hasn't been a Queen since your exile."

My jaw dropped open, and without seeing it, I knew Clatia's had done the same.

"Surely you are aware of how the next Queen is chosen?" the woman asked.

When I shook my head, Ingrid shrugged.

"I suppose you wouldn't. One doesn't know until the end of their term," she realized, tapping her chin. "When the end is approaching, the day before the coronation, the Queen has a final discussion with the universe. In this discussion, from what I remember of mine, we talked of what had occurred under my rule. And then, the universe told me who the next Queen would be."

"The universe decides the next Queen?" Clatia repeated.

"It does," Ingrid agreed. "And when Mettelicius attempted to speak with it, the universe refused to pick another one. Directly after your departure, the Queen's palace was surrounded by an invisible barrier. No one could get inside."

"What are you saying?" I slowly asked, unable to keep the shock from building. It was at skyscraper level now.

"I'm saying," Ingrid informed with a great beam, "that your position has been vacant for two months and eight days. And that as far as I'm aware, it will continue to be this way until someone can get through to the universe."

A minute later and I dropped to the floor.

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**Let me know your thoughts in a review!**


	19. Home Is Wherever I'm With You

**Don't worry, I'm not dead. Just took a while to update. And I began another story. Yep, that was smart of me. But I hope the other one to be relatively short as I'm jumping between the two. Anywho, thank you for the reviews. Beautiful, beautiful reviews! I couldn't keep on writing without them. Enjoy.**

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**Chapter 19 - Home Is Wherever I'm With You**

When Thor's timid knock came the next morning, I glanced lazily at the door, the corner of my lips twitching up at the contrast in mannerism between the two Gods. Where one brother knocked and respected my boundaries with an almost infant like gentleness, the other forcefully pursued me with a vigor I tried to convince myself I didn't condone.

It's because they care.

Surprisingly, the thought wasn't so bitter to swallow this time around.

"Come in," I yelled from the kitchen.

There was an indecisive silence, followed by the quiet slide of the door slowly creeping open.

Were I far more paranoid, I would arm myself with a baseball bat or some other human device that the campy teenagers in the 80's horror films used to fend off the ravenous killers.

But Thor, at least to my knowledge, was no such being. So, I gave him the benefit of the doubt and kept myself relaxed in the chair, even when my brain was in all kinds of snarls regarding the night before.

"Hi," I quietly spoke, waving the God into the kitchen.

Thor hesitated before entering, alerting me to his own inner trepidation.

"What's wrong?" I immediately questioned.

The blond didn't sit, but he did eye me up and down casually.

The scan spoke volumes.

"We did not have sex," I promised in the most firm tone I could muster. "We did not fondle each other. We did not participate in any kind of sexual rituals that would garner the removal of our clothes."

"I would not accuse you of such a thing," Thor assured with a small smile. "I trust you as I trust my brother."

"I don't know whether to be relieved about that," I admitted, crossing my arms. "You seem like you're on the verge of spilling some dark secret."

And it wasn't my imagination. Thor appeared visibly...rattled. Or perhaps that was simply too scrutinous of an observation. I do know that the Thor from two days ago would have taken a seat by now and not have appeared so grim at the prospect of being in my presence.

Without meaning to, a pang shot into my heart, momentarily crippling my ability to breath.

He established already that he cares for me. If he didn't, why else would he be here?

"You are right. I do have something to share with you," the God confirmed, blue eyes suddenly piercing my form in place.

"What's that?" I questioned with a smile, not quite believing that Thor could do anything so ghastly as the way his features indicated.

"Loki and I must go back to Asgard," he informed. "There is an event we must be present at. Unfortunately, neither my father nor mother will excuse our presence as we tend to be the hosts of it."

I registered the words, but it took me a moment to reply.

"Okay."

Followed by.

"I completely understand."

And I tried to brave on a supportive face, but the disappointment still thumped itself against my heart.

"I've actually got some things I have to take care of," I continued, unsure if I should explain to him about Ingrid.

"We leave tonight. I trust you will be ready by then."

"I hope you have fun-wait...what?"

"But of course you will come with us!" Thor announced with a laugh, taking in my confused features. "We wish for you to witness the true state of our realm, and not the arrogance you hold us to. And the event...well, it is a remarkable gala of festivities that is held so seldom. Will you be ready by dawn?"

Utterly flabbergasted, I settled for standing up, then sitting down, and then standing back up.

Coincidentally, I probably lost a calorie participating in such a regime.

"I can't," I finally replied. "Some stuff has just come up-."

"Surely this is not an excuse-."

"No, no," I waved off, "something...big happened last night."

Immediately, I had Thor's undivided attention. And I got to say that every now and again, that's just a good feeling to have.

"Our new tenant down the hallway is a former Queen from my realm."

The words had the desired effect on the blond. His mouth opened, and with a shake of the head, he turned around as if expecting her to be standing right there.

"Was she exiled as well?" he inquired, finding my eyes again.

"She kicked herself out," I admitted, recalling Ingrid's tale after I had woken up from my unceremonious fall and actually held the capability of listening. "She claims that my realm is...discontent. And that the universe refuses to choose another Queen, going as far as securing the wards of the palace. She also said-."

I swallowed, and carefully exhaled.

"She said that I should be expecting more of my race to join me here on Earth," I revealed, remembering how shocked I was at hearing the words come from Ingrid's mouth.

"That is an honor," Thor proclaimed. "A great honor to have your former subjects follow you even after your exile. It proves that they still wish for you to be Queen. To not only guide them, but the realms as well."

I nodded my head, feeling slightly overwhelmed by Thor's view. I suppose I understood that severing ties with a realm on your own freewill, was a gigantic statement, but to actually realize it was happening to me...well, let's just say that not even the alcohol could protect me from such an astonishing revelation.

Before I knew it, I had a blond God hugging me, arms clamped tightly around my back and chin resting in my hair.

"Come with us," he mumbled, chest rumbling with the deepness of his voice. "Allow yourself a break from this world. If more of your fellow race is locating here, let them. I just wish for you to have a short interval of peace before the chaos begins. The wonderful chaos, I would add."

I blinked, listening to the beat of Thor's heart.

"I don't know if that's a good idea," I murmured, relishing in the comforting closeness. "Leaving here when Ingrid-."

And I stopped myself, recalling what the woman had initiated after informing us of all that had happened since my departure.

With one hand, she clenched her fist and placed it directly over her heart. Then, she bowed down on one knee and extended her opposite hand, revealing only two fingers - index and middle - before her in a sign of not only deep loyalty, but establishing one very unreal fact.

She still saw me as the current Queen.

I had tried telling her to get up, that it wasn't necessary, and the universe was not a part of me anymore. But she stayed on my apartment floor, and to my complete embarrassment, Clatia soon joined her.

"Something is coming," I finally said, more convinced of it now than ever. "Something big. I don't know if I can risk being gone when it happens."

Without meaning to, Thor tugged me in a bit closer, breaths blowing stray pieces of my hair.

"There is a reason I am the one asking for your presence," he explained. "Were you to say no to Loki...well, I cannot say that he would not use persuasive trickery to get you there. If you do not wish to come, especially when in light of your current situation, then I understand. I believe you slowly found purpose in your life last night when hearing this former Queen denounce the man who banished you. And I know you need hope now, above all else. But...our desire for your presence is...not able to be conveyed in words."

Thor then pulled his head back and slipped a finger beneath my chin, tilting it up so I could meet his expressive features.

"You crave adventure and traveling without limit. Allow yourself this opportunity while you still can."

And as if those words weren't enough, seconds later, the man was kissing me, tongue gently rubbing across my bottom lip before meeting my own.

I'm kissing Thor. Yesterday I kissed Loki. What in blazes is wrong with me?

Thor's sudden intensity, hands now pulling me into his lower body, completely made me forget the answer as I met his fiery passion with an equal one of my own.

"Ahem."

I broke away slowly, emitting an embarrassed giggle as my eyes flashed over to Clatia who stood without a single flinch, wet and naked.

Thor still kept me in the embrace, but I could feel his body gradually lowering in testosterone, even as he observed my roommate.

"I'd hate to interrupt your attempts at making Irene feel better," Clatia remarked, eyes narrowed at Thor, "but I need to contribute my own thoughts on you taking her away to Asgard, realm of the Egos."

A laugh sprang out of me, increasing in tempo when witnessing Thor's grimace.

"Sorry," I mumbled, placing a hand on his chest. "Not you...really, not you. It's just that...in our realm, we have many stories to tell regarding your race. You're all very...ambitious."

Realizing he was being made fun of, Thor lowered his hands from behind me and took a step back.

"We are so ambitious because we have healthy sex lives."

Now this...was definitely not what I expected him to say.

Out of the corner of my eye, Clatia raised a disbelieving brow.

"I do not jest," Thor continued, holding both of our attentions now. "When engaged in political matters, sometimes it is difficult to battle our primal urges. Often, the two mix without a favorable ending. That is why it is so important to relieve our urges so often. That way, what once distracted us, may not do so anymore, at least not until we feel the need to satisfy ourselves again."

"You're kidding!" I exclaimed, strangely fascinated by this tidbit of information. Which explained a lot about why Thor was such an expert kisser. "And Loki is also very ambitious. In fact, I recall him mentioning to me that women begged for him. Is there really any truth to this?"

Thor crossed his arms and pondered for a moment.

"I do not recall my brother's escapades. In such matters, he was instinctively private. But I know him to be focused, and I know him to be experienced. So, I would not be surprised to hear such tales to be true."

"What does it mean if you have sex with a person when not involved in political matters?" Clatia asked.

I threw a quick glare at her, silently telling her now was not the time.

But Thor almost seemed relieved to answer.

"It means that whoever this being is...they are held above all other women. It means there _are_ no other women. Not anymore. It is devotion at its greatest," Thor trailed off. "It is...love."

I knew he was staring at me, but I couldn't form a reply. Of course I did blush. Which seemed to be a conditioned response by now.

"I'll think about your offer for the rest of the day," I ended up answering, not quite meeting his eyes. "Come back tonight."

"Of course."

And without warning, the air suddenly grew into a heavy awkwardness. As if such a proclamation deserved such a tense reaction.

I listened to Thor's retreat, his shoes padding into the soft carpet, then the wood floors. Seconds later and he was gone.

"Do you want to go with them?"

Sighing, I fell back into the kitchen chair and blew at a few stray hairs.

"There's just...so much going on," I acknowledged. "The moment he asks me, Ingrid shows up. I...can't afford to leave. Not now."

Clatia mulled over my words, and to my surprise, held a vastly different opinion.

"It is simply Ingrid," she declared. "No one else from our realm is here, and if they were, it would not change much. They are simply seeking shelter from our realm's lack of structure. The universe has still not reached out to you and there is no way for you to go back home. You are stuck, unfortunately. And yes, it is very exciting to have Ingrid here, and thinking of the possibility that she is not the only one who is making the journey, makes us seem noble. But, her presence should not affect your pursuit of a balance. It'll help, but I'm inclined to believe that for once...those Asgardian bastards actually want what's best for you. And the event Thor spoke of...well, he was right. It's a rare event, and passing by the opportunity to go is insane."

"So, you want me to go?"

"I can't make your decisions for you. I just want you to be happy."

Spoken like a true friend, I'll give her that.

Otherwise, my feelings remained relatively mixed regarding the opportunity to leave behind my abode and travel to Asgard.

So, I worked on forgetting the matter entirely, at least until Thor knocked on my door again later in the night.

Instead, we worked on helping Ingrid become used to the Midgardian gadgets.

Already, she had thrown the pots and pans in the washing machine, set a toaster strudel to cook in the microwave for 100 minutes, and refused to flush the toilet, leaving well...you get the gist.

Explaining to the woman that she had to shower was perhaps the most difficult process.

"We stand beneath a metal object that shoots water at us for ten minutes?" she asked, offended and intrigued at the same time. "How barbaric!"

"Wait until you start paying taxes!" Clatia threatened with a sly grin.

"Texas? Yes, I've heard of this region. But why does this sovereign pay money to such a desolate area? Especially when they speak so gutturally," Ingrid wondered in confusion.

There is a trait shared among all the members of my realm. Myself included, as you have come to know.

We love to read.

I didn't think it would hurt to let Ingrd borrow some of the books I had read which helped adjust to the lifestyle of a common Earth goer.

"Great Expectations? This book better live up to its name," the redhead mentioned, taking in the book.

"It's easier to understand since they speak like we do," I offered.

Ingrid shrugged before throwing me a smile.

"Thank you, my Queen."

"Just call me by name," I implored, remembering her gesture from last night. "The octavium initiated their spell. No matter what the stubborn universe has up its sleeve, you cannot call me a Queen. Not when I have disgraced you all so very much."

The former Queen tilted her head, lips conforming around her next words.

"No wonder it cherishes you so much," she marveled. "You outwardly disagree with its decisions. While I was in the position, I followed its instructions with a preciseness you would think me mad of. You challenge it, and yet you learn from it at the same time. This is amusing because I knew something odd was happening on the night before the coronation. I understood I would be ousted, and accepted this. But the universe...it practically teemed when declaring you my successor. It told me you were the-."

She abruptly ended the statement when Clatia returned to the room, hands on her hips.

Ingrid raised her hands in frustration.

"What have I done this time? Do not tell me I have forgotten to hug the ladder outside of my window. Simply another Earth custom!"

"No," Clatia defended, but unable to level out her grin. "It's just that...commonly, we don't store our clothing in the oven. I know it's difficult to find a place for them because there are no longer shelves or the Omibiles."

Omibiles were one of the main sources that provided us with clothes. Quite simply, they were arachnid like creatures, no bigger than a thumb nail, which were made up entirely of crystals. Each household had some, and before each morning began, the Omibiles had successfully woven together the rest of the clothes for the day. It was crucial that you let your Omibilies know what worked for you. After a time, they would simply conform to your style.

A stumped frown fell over Ingrid's red lips.

"Have you not felt the temperature outside? I need every fiber of those cloths heated to where I can comfortably move from place to place without feeling chill."

She then followed Clatia's retreat, intent on arguing that she would rather have hot clothes than hot food.

I stared after them, perplexed at what Ingrid's possible next words could be. So far, I was never informed of the universe's "excited" reaction to my presence. Yet another shock, as it seemed like I was completely blindsided even more so inside that square on the day I was chosen Queen.

I never got the chance to ask Ingrid about what she meant, and to be honest, I was a bit fearful of doing so. Perhaps if I knew the universe actually liked me to begin with, the pain would only grow at how coldly it treated me.

Instead, I worked on introducing Ingrid to one of my favorite foods. You should all know.

Campbell's Chicken Noodle Soup.

The woman nearly devoured three cans before she proclaimed it the tastiest treat since Burba - a thick, gooey, light purple, chocolaty cinnamon we chewed on like it was candy on our realm.

Unfortunately, Ingrid's mishaps couldn't last the entire day. Before I knew it, she was ushering both of us out of her apartment.

"Just let me know when I must pay this Texas," she reminded. "Or else I will refuse to do so and begin a boycott."

Clatia and I shared a grin before saluting the lost woman and making the way back to our apartment.

Thor and Loki both stood in the hallway outside the door, and as soon as Clatia saw them, she grabbed on to my arm, squeezed it once out of comfort and whispered, "Whatever decision you make, I will adjust."

She then greeted them both with a suspicious stare before entering the apartment.

"Does she ever experience humor?" Loki dryly remarked. "Or happiness, perhaps?"

"She does," I admitted. "Usually, it's impersonating both of you. She's quite good at it."

"As long as she does not imitate our sexual acts, then I could care less."

Chuckling, I covered my mouth and tilted my head at the God of Mischief. Who strangely enough, wore dark, navy blue jeans and a button up, white shirt with his midnight black hair brushed back.

Thor appeared just as orderly, actually wearing khaki pants that looked remarkably excellent in just the way they sculpted his lower body that I am so not thinking sexually of.

A tight, light grey shirt was his torso's attire for the evening.

"Have you come to a decision?" Thor inquired.

"I don't think it's a good idea," I reasoned. "This is a tradition for you, hosting this event. You will not be able to provide me with your undivided attention and I fear that my presence will disrupt the order of things."

"So this is what you meant, brother, by her possessing a drunkard's stubbornness," Loki observed with a rakish grin. "No matter. We will simply persuade her."

"Or perhaps reason," Thor suggested quickly. "Irene, I understand your desire to not intrude into our lives now that we have found balance. And are recovering years of lost intent. But, we are asking you to join us in Asgard because we wish this, not because we feel burdened to bring you along. You are our guest, a very special one considering no other being from a realm other than ours has ever attended this. And I know you hesitate in believing, much less accepting this, but we love you in ways you do not even understand quite yet. Ways that we cannot explain now because I understand you wished to keep this affair between us three strictly pure."

Boy does Thor know how to give a good speech. If I wasn't so mesmerized by the words, I'd have realized that my body was slowly beaming at the possibility of a vacation.

It took me a few minutes to catch up with its' want.

"You're sure about my attending?" I asked, surprised the words were coming from my mouth.

It's been too long since I've lived on the wild side. Plus, Thor is right. I want to travel all the places I've never truly been able to explore, before a time will come where I will no longer be able to do so.

"Do you truly believe us so dim as to invite a mortal undeserving of such affections? And to think you question this while sober," Loki chided, shaking his head.

"I've gotten in a lot of trouble when I've followed my inebriated instincts," I countered with a pointed nod.

Loki shrugged, smirk in place.

"What you deem trouble, I recall being rather pleasurable for us all."

I rolled my eyes at the dramatics of it all, and then realized I was the one causing them.

With a last minute glance, I studied the apartment door, wordlessly wondering if I wasn't making a mistake.

"Do not worry about clothes or other essentials," Thor promised. "They will all be provided to you."

"Okay," I said, turning toward them. "Okay. But if you don't want me there, let me know."

This time, Thor and Loki shared an exasperated look.

"You really should allow me to silence her when she begins speaking nonsense," Loki commented, approaching me. "I quite like silencing her. It usually leads to the shedding of clothes."

"Not going to happen," I argued lightly, extending both of my hands.

Each God grasped on to one palm, and with a glance up, called for the guardian of the Bifrost, Heimdall.

For a second, I took the time to properly study each man before me whose hands tightened around mine, when really, they could have easily let me go and I would still be teleported along with them.

It's foolish to deny I'm happy around them.

And yet, I could not believe for a moment that I filled such an expansive part of each brother. Even when they argued otherwise.

Maybe this vacation is what I need. To get a boost in my confidence, and stop worrying so much about the controversy happening at home.

Just from the quick grins each God threw me before our bodies were sucked into the air, I knew I had made the right choice. I didn't know what that choice would lead to, but as long as I was with them, it couldn't possibly be worse than what I subjected myself to when alone.

* * *

**Short? Yeah. But it's better than trudging along through my boring, long ones. Let me know your thoughts in a review!**


	20. Author's Note

**Author's Note **

**So, I've never done one of these for a chapter before and usually when an author uploads a note from themselves, it's not good news. Well, I just have a message.**

**Due to some reviews and a substantial amount of private messages I've received dealing with the entire three way relationship of my character, Irene, and the Asgardian brothers, I will be putting this on temporary to permanent hiatus. Most critique I've gotten is the gross factor of such a relationship and one reviewer letting me know that the entire way I've written this story is simply ridiculous/bullshit since the realistic factor is lost in the way I've written it. Which I appreciate hearing. I need to hear that kind of critique and I know they didn't mean to hurt my feelings. I know I'm not a good writer, and maybe this might make me a better one.**

**Overall, however, I'm going to respect the great portion of reviewers who are disgusted by what I've written and stop this story. At least for now. I don't like to think I'm giving in to pressure because if I wanted to, I could continue. By far this is not the worst story ever written (at least I hope not). But I do know that once I added in the development of such a scandalous relationship, a great portion of my readers turned against me and thorougly showed their disgust - again, I'm glad. I love hearing people's thoughts on developments in my stories.**

**However, the backlash is so strong that continuing, I fear, will get me nowhere, nor you, my faithful reader. So...I thank you if you've been reading from the very beginning. I never expected to get such a lovely following for this story. But a great deal of you have spoken, or at least with your silence, have, and for your sake, I'll be stopping the story now. **

**I'm sorry if I've permanently scarred the lovely/mysterious Irene for you, and if you are unhappy with this story, go on and imagine your own happy ending for her. **

**Above all, I'm sorry that I made it so damn awkward/unplesant for you to read. Really, that was not my intention. I was simply following a plot bunny gone wild.**

**Thank you for all your wonderful reviews, story alerts, and favorites. I will never forget them! Perhaps one day, I will continue this, but not now as it seems that my reviewers/followers simply aren't ready for such a strange tale to continue on.**

**Thank you, and much love to you all!**

**-SadieMichelle**


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